Disclaimer: Characters belong to Fresh Tv. I own nothing.

~A/N~ Many thanks to anyone who reviewed; you're all awesomely awesome! :D

I've been thinking about my "three chapter structure" and have decided to extend this story to five chapters overall. Anyways, enjoy!

Brainiacs and Bookshelves

Chapter Two: The First Day

Noah walked up to the front door of the book store and pulled his set of keys out of his pocket. His hands were shivering from the cold, winter air, so he scurried inside the building as soon as the door was unlocked.

"Ah, another glorious day," Noah groaned, rubbing his eyes. He took his seat behind the check out counter and turned on his computer.

Suddenly, the smell of freshly baked pastries found it's way into the bookworm's nose and he suspiciously sniffed the air. A hint of coffee too. Noah stood up and peeked around the rows of shelves to find the source of the amazing smells.

"Good morning, associate," came a dry voice.

Noah turned around and saw Scarlett holding a box of donuts and a cup of steaming coffee. "Oh, it's just you," Noah shrugged. "Hey, are those donuts for me?"

"No," Scarlett hissed. "I bought these for Mr. Massey."

"Wow, what a butt kisser you are," Noah chuckled, rubbing the back of his head. "I don't think giving him stuff will help you keep your job."

"He's fat," Scarlett scoffed. "Overweight people love donuts and coffee; it's a psychological truth that has been officially tested by credible researchers."

Noah raised an eyebrow. "That's a stereotype; an offensive one at that. Sure, my chubby buddy Owen loves those things, but we're taking about a guy who eats dog food and toilet seats... and likes them. And Massey isn't even fat. He's just bulky."

"Say what you want, Noah. Just keep in mind that I'll be one step ahead of you in this competition until the final second: the moment when you get fired."

Noah took his seat in his favorite rolling chair and propped his legs on the front desk. "I'm not concerned about getting fired, but I am concerned about beating you. I do have a reputation among the fan base after all, and I'd hate to lose it."

"Speaking of fan bases, my own is actually quite large. If you want to stay popular, just let your feelings go on national television. It really helps stress as well. Anyways, I'm off to give these things to the boss. If you need me, I'll be in the main office." Scarlett smiled and walked off, leaving Noah to handle the register by himself, not that he cared.

"Suck up," he grumbled under his breath before turning his attention to the rival bookstore across the street: a quite large building with glowing lights and decorative architecture. Shadows could be seen moving within the store as the passed in front of the lights inside. People were casually walking in and out with books in their hands and smiles on their faces.

"Hmmm..." Noah tapped his chin and looked around the bookstore. No one was watching. He could leave if he wanted to without any immediate repercussions. And so he did.

Scarlett tapped on Massey's door.

"Come in!" the burlesque man groaned loudly. Upon seeing Scarlett, he bit his lip and died a little on the inside. She was the last person, other than Noah and his mother-in-law, that he wanted to see in his office.

"What?" Massey groaned, rubbing his temples.

"Oh, nothing," Scarlett said in an innocent tone. "I was just wondering if you'd like a little... apology gift for what happened yesterday."

Massey squirmed in his seat and raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "Uh, you do know that I'm a married man, right?"

"What?!" Scarlett snapped, her eyes filled with rage. "Not that kind of gift!"

She reached into the hall outside Massey's door and held out the box of donuts. "Look! Food!"

"Donuts?" he asked Scarlett, a smile forming on his face.

"Jelly filled..." Scarlett said, trying to calm herself down with deep breaths.

Massey groaned and rolled his eyes. "Nerdette, you know I hate jelly filled donuts! Get those things out of here!"

Scarlett's eye began to twitch as her hand clenched down on the box of pastries, nearly crushing it in her rage induced grip. "Then how about a sample of coffee from the ever-so-popular Starbucks?"

"What flavor?"

Scarlett reached into the hallway and presented her boss with the beverage. "Vanilla coconut cucumber... with baby tears."

Massey cautiously grabbed the cup from his worker and took a sip. He looked up at Scarlett and smiled. "Nice try, you suck up, but shitty coffee and jelly donuts aren't gonna save your job."

Scarlett calmly grabbed the gifts and stood straight, maintaining a proper posture. "I apologize for wasting forty-two seconds of your day."

Massey stayed quiet as Scarlett left his office, closing the door behind her. Once she was out in the hallway, Scarlett smashed the box of treats and the cup of bizarre coffee into the waste bin and began to huff and puff as her face turned beet red.

Noah slipped through the doorway as a bell that sounded like singing angels rang through the rows of shelves. Neon lights cast rays of color onto his caramel toned skin and reflected off his shades. His torso, and his uniform, were covered by a thick, brown coat.

"Just a quick look-see and I'm out," he whispered to himself.

The undercover bookworm looked around the building, noticing how packed it was with people. Given that online books were the thing, Noah was genuinely shocked to see so many people hunting for physical copies.

After feeling around the shelves for a few minutes, a gasp sounded from behind him. Noah whipped himself around to come face-to-face with one of the store's employees.

The young man looked clean. His hair was short and kept tidy; his skin was smooth and glossy; his nose was free of stray hairs; a small bottle of hand sanitizer was tied to his belt.

"Dave?" Noah asked in surprise, looking at the man's name tag. "Uh, funny meeting you here," he said, chuckling nervously. "I, uh, saw you on the show."

"I know!" Dave squealed. "You don't know how big of a fan I am! I literally cried in the bathroom for hours when you got booted in Season 3. I washed my hands when I was done though, so, yeah!"

"So, uh, I guess you're a fan, huh?" Noah removed his shades and rolled his eyes. So much for his cover.

"Huge!" Dave said, waving his arms out by his sides. "You're like my idol!"

"Oh, that's nice," Noah said politely, yet with little heart. The thing about fame, to Noah at least, was that it was annoying. Autographs, interviews, girls wanting his phone number: all annoying. But the most annoying thing of all was the fan base. It's not that he hated attention, but with everyone treating him as a deity, Noah grew to despise it. And then there were the Daves of the world: wannabes who cracked terrible quips out of admiration. That, and Dave was flipping insane!

"Yeah," Dave smiled. "So what brings you here?"

"Oh, nothing much," Noah said, rolling his eyes. "Just business."

"Total Drama business?" the neat freak asked in a sly tone, trying to get the desired answer from his favorite celebrity.

"No," Noah stated bluntly. "Work business."

Dave grinned. "You're looking for a job here?!"

"No, just some... ideas."

Dave pulled his hand sanitizer out of his belt and squirted a bit into his hands. "About what?"

"I'd love to answer more of your questions, but do you mind if I ask you a question for once?" Noah crossed his arms and glared at Dave.

"Uh, sure. Anything."

"Good," Noah yawned. "Now, tell me something: how does this store make so much moolah?"

"I don't know," Dave shrugged. "We're pretty clean, so there's that. Oh, and we have cool lights."

"Great, that totally helped," Noah sighed. "Anything useful?"

Dave paused for a minute and stroked his shaven chin. "Nope. I don't think so."

Noah stretched his arms above his head and put his shades over his eyes. "Well, this trip was pointless. See ya' never."

As Noah tried to walk off, Dave stopped him with a tap on the back.

"Can I, uh, have an autograph on my bottle of sanitizer? Please!"

Noah frowned and put his hands on his hips. "Fine," he said in aggravation. "Just find me a pen."

"O-Oh," Dave stuttered. "Well, the only pens we have are kind of, uh, public, so germs, you know?"

Noah crossed his arms and tapped his foot, waiting for Dave to respond again.

"Fine," Dave sighed in defeat, pulling a latex glove from his pocket. "You leave me no choice."

Dave fetched a blue pen and rubbed it with sanitizer before handing it to Noah. "Quick, before the stuff wears off!"

Noah reluctantly signed the bottle to read "Your sarcasm sucked. Take a class - Noah."

Instead of being upset, Dave shuddered with excitement. To him, an insult from Noah was a gift from the heavens. "Thanks!" he cheered, cradling the bottle like a newborn child, his child.

"No problem, dude."

"Should I pay you? I have cash on me!"

"No, I'm..." Noah's brain hatched a great idea. "Sure," he concluded, smiling. "Twenty bucks!"

"Twenty bucks? For this?!" Dave bit his lip in concern for his wallet, unsure if he was getting a good deal. He pulled out the money anyways.

Noah gladly snapped the crisp bills from Dave's hand and stuffed them down his pockets. "Pleasure doin' business with ya'," he chuckled.

Dave let Noah walk off as he gazed in awe at his souvenir. The lines of the signature captured his eyes, causing them to move with the curves of each letter.

"Oh, bottle of Germ-X, never leave me!" Dave proclaimed to the tube of liquid.

Unfortunately, Dave's special moment was interrupted when one of his fellow workers approached him with grave news and a mop.

"Sorry, bro, but I got bad news," the young man groaned. "Someone did something to those air dryer things in the bathrooms and now there's... something all over the place. It's pretty gross and, uh, I don't want to clean it. So, uh, here..."

The teen handed Dave the mop and quickly left the scene, leaving the germaphobe to wallow in disgust as he froze in terror, his eye twitching and his knees weakening. He looked at the small bottle of liquid in his hand and, in an intentional reference to one of his favorite films, sobbed a sorrowful phrase. "I'm gonna need a bigger bottle..."

Scarlett watched as Noah entered the bookstore and removed his pointless disguise. A growl escaped her mouth as she retreated into the maze of shelves.

Clutching a few books in her hands, she sat down and began to read from the first book in the pile.

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only."

Scarlett slammed the book shut and sighed. "How applicable."

The clock struck noon and the store came alive with employees scrambling for their lunches, firmly locked away inside the community refrigerator. The battle for food was long fought, but one lucky woman managed to get the last pudding cup by singlehandedly taking the competition out with a few jabs to their necks.

Scarlett opened the cup of rich goodness and dug her spoon into the treat. Just as the bite reached her mouth, a snarky voice popped up out of nowhere.

"How's it going, Scarlett Witch?" Noah asked with a laugh. "Made any dough yet, or did the victims get away?"

Scarlett swallowed and turned away so she didn't have to look Noah in the eye. She delicately placed another spoonful in her mouth.

"If you don't want talk, that's fine by me," Noah said, opening the refrigerator and pulling out a small, brown, paper sack. "I really don't have time to talk anyways with money flying into my small, horribly stitched pockets."

Scarlett gagged and whirled around in shock. "You made money?! How?!"

"Exploitation, my good lass," Noah chuckled taking a bite out of his sandwich. "Come and see for yourself."

Scarlett hurried behind Noah and was met with a large line of shoppers, eagerly waiting at the checkout counter. A large picture of Noah's smirking face rested on the counter and read "Total Drama's Noah! Autographs with purchases of $20 or greater! Get 'em while they're snarky!"

Scarlett felt her heart drop. Until now, she'd been sure of her victory over Noah. She knew how to play with people's heads and get what she wanted. She knew how to make money fast. She knew how to win a case in court... as the defendant. But now, Noah had sprung ahead by doing nothing but sitting on his ass and reading books. She was raging inside.

Noah took his seat behind the counter and smiled at the woman at the front of the line. "Sorry to keep you waiting, ma'am. Now, who do I make this out to?"

"Debbie," the woman said with little breath left in her body as she fiddled with her black curls, handing Noah the money with her other hand.

"There," the bookworm said, handing her the signed slip of paper and winking at Scarlett, who's face was red with frustration.

Debbie looked at her autographed paper and squealed. It read "Insert sarcastic remark here - Noah." She squealed again and ran outside, waving her arms like Izzy on drugs.

"Next," Noah said calmly.

Scarlett pushed her way through the line and slammed her hands on the counter in front of Noah. "What is this!?" she asked, glaring at Noah.

"An autograph booth," Noah smiled. "I normally hate fame, but now that I can make money with it, I'm loving it more than McDonald's claimed I would love the McGriddle at 5 AM. Spoiler alert: it blew."

"I don't care about fast food with poor nutritional values; I care about how you did all of... this."

"Scarlett, Scarlett, Scarlett," Noah chuckled. "A magician never reveals his tricks. For someone with an IQ as large as yours, I thought you'd know that."

Suddenly, a young man tapped Scarlett on the arm. "Hey, lady, can I get my autograph now, or are you just-"

Scarlett snapped and grabbed the boy by the throat, hoisting him an inch or two off the ground. "You'll wait for your turn if you know what's good for you," Scarlett hissed.

The boy nodded and Scarlett dropped him. She turned to Noah and glared at the smirking bookworm.

"Prepare yourself," she said, grinding her teeth. "Day one might be nearly over, but you would wise to pay full attention to your back. Tomorrow is when things get real, and you don't want to be a target."

Scarlett walked away after a moment of silence, leaving Noah to rub his chin, wondering if he should take precautions. Scarlett was a psycho after all.

However, he quickly the subject out of his mind and went back to signing autographs and pocketing money, twenty bucks at a time.

~A/N~ Sorry that this was a bit late. I'll try to get the next part out sooner than this one did, but enough of that. Leave a review if you enjoyed or have any complaints. Constructive criticism is always welcome in my neck of the woods. :)