Assassin Drones: The original saga
Exposition Arc. De Arimasu!
By Alex Young
Keroro's secret base, 11:30 pm. Chinese New Year's day, 2002
It's been six months ever since Keroro's A.R.M.P.I.T platoon made landfall on planet Earth, and already they've made their amphibian presence known among the Hinatas. Kululu was in his computer room observing what looks to be a meteor headed towards the Earth. "Kukukukukuuuu! So we meet again, old friend." The yellow devil sniggered as though he had seen it before.
He continued to recalibrate a remotely accessed space telescope of his to focus in on the space object. Judging by the looks of it all, Kululu concluded that it sent some sort of signal back and forth from an unknown source. "Tch, the sergeant needs to know about this, OH SERGEANT!" Kululu sang out to Keroro. "So, what is it Kululu? Best make it snappy 'cause I have some more Gundam models to build." An impatient Keroro replied.
"It's that metallic meteor from before, and it's headed straight for Pekopon." "PFFFFFFFFFFT WHAT THE HELL!?" Keroro screeched as he forcibly spat out all the coca cola in his mouth. As the Hinatas' resident platoon knew all too well, this strange meteor meant complete and total annihilation by Keroro's violent reaction. "Well, as leader, I say we let this one run its course to see what we're up against." Keroro declared after taking the time to breathe a little. In the mean time, Kululu would continue tracking the strange meteor for if there was one of these things, it also meant that more were on their way.
In a hotel room somewhere in Beijing 11:40 pm
Ranma had just washed his hands with hot water after his escapade with Happosai and the main rat pack. "So, pops. Whaddowedo 'bout the old letch?" Ranma inquired. [Uhh, maybe we could just toss him out to the South China sea, Perhaps?] Panda Genma replied in unilateral agreement. "Good call, 'cause hopefully we won't hafta worry bout 'im gettin at Akane's or any other girl's panties for a while." Ranma affirmed as he dumped a bucket full of hot water on Panda Genma, changing him from pudgy panda to bulky looking adult man in the blink of an eye.
With that, Ranma sped off into the darkness towards the southernmost edge of mainland China. As soon as he reached his destination, Ranma violently kicked the knot-sealed burlap bag (with Happosai already hog tied with nylon and duct taped to a cinder block) as far as he could into the South China Sea. Satisfied that his deed was done, Ranma jogged all the way back the hotel where Genma awaited him. "Now to get some well deserved sleep for the trip home." Ranma sighed as he slithered back into bed with his slumbering father on the bed parallel to it.
Kissho Junior high, 11:25 am. Valentine's red eve, 2002
Fuyuki had just finished presenting his research paper on the considered extinct Honshu wolf to an audience consisting of a lone Momoka Nishizawa, or so he thinks. Aside from her personal security task force, there's Keroro and company via hidden wifi cameras that Dororo helped Kululu to install late last night. "Tch, everything checks out." Kululu lightly declared as he continued to leer into his computer screen. {Well, it's been four months since I told her.} Fuyuki reminisced about the day he encouraged her to confess her love for him. He's been trying to satiate such passions from her ever since.
Flashback; In that same room, at that very same time. November 14th, 2001
"Umm. Umm..." Momoka stammered for a moment. She wasn't paying any attention to Fuyuki's paranormal lectures, by the looks of it. As a matter of fact, she hasn't been paying any attention to anything but her love fantasies for the past 3-4 days straight. For Fuyuki, it was the very last straw. He had to take some disciplinary action himself. He got up looking to be a little annoyed at this.
{Oh god, he's gonna hit me.} Her mind panicked as her hands and arms made a make shift shield for her head. In reality, Fuyuki just sat down next to her. "What is wrong with you, Momoka. Why aren't you paying attention?" Fuyuki interrogated very gently as he didn't exactly want to hurt her feelings.
"I mean, If you want to say something to me, just say it. That's all I'm asking." Fuyuki pleaded to Momoka as he had always considered her to be a good friend ever since he took Momoka to her class some 4 years ago, all out of the kindness and good conscience in his heart. "I. I love you." She whispered in his ear, having stopped short of sobbing.
"I'll tell you what, Momoka. I'll hold your hand on the way to class. Sounds alright?" Fuyuki offered. "Yes. Thanks, Fuyuki. I needed that." Momoka sighed, still a little rattled from Fuyuki's disciplinary action. Upon hearing the bell for the next class, the two held hands with each other with Fuyuki leading the way. Little did the two know that they would be holding hands next to each other for the rest of the school year.
Momoka's lovey dovey fantasies would become indisputable facts. Not only would they be holding hands next to each other up and down the hallways, but this school children's love drama would come to play out on their way to and from school, all with its own little twists and turns.
Present day: After school, just outside the Kissho junior high school building, 2:00 pm. Valentine's red day, 2002
It was Fuyuki's turn to lose himself in thought among the crowd as he felt glad for his intervention for were it not for that, Momoka would have acted very goofy all the time around him. It was all for good reason because school is the absolute worst place for any young girl like her to act up around their favorite boy, period. What started off as a simple reprimand, had so far resulted in their first kiss on new years day.
Momoka wanted to take it one step further with her secret promise to make out on the beach next summer, but was perfectly content with giving him a kiss to the cheek and a thank you as they continued to hold hands as they did since then walking out of the gates. "Jeez, Fuyuki you still holding hands with her?" Natsumi complained after a while of noticing this.
"I haven't much of a choice." Fuyuki replied in defense. "Sooner or later her parents are gonna wanna see you dead at their feet, and they'd make no bones about that!" Natsumi forewarned in concern about the dire consequences. "Anyways, let's not worry about it and go home." Fuyuki proposed. "Okay." Natsumi shrugged as the Hinata siblings went about their way with Fuyuki still holding hands with Momoka.
The street by the watering old woman's house. 7:00 am. Valentine's white day, 2002
"A-Akane, I have to tell you something. I-I hope that you like these chocolates that I bought f-for you." Ryoga stammered into the gates of the watering old woman's gate as he was very unsure as to how to do this so that Akane wouldn't just accept him as a pet. Not only that, but this would have her dump Ranma in favor of Ryoga. This deceptively simple task becomes near impossible for Ryoga if any passers by should factor in his horrific sense of direction, in addition to his lack of confidence concerning Akane.
"Hey Ryoga, what're you doin round here?" Ranma asked as he casually strode on up to Ryoga's side. Ryoga's expression turned from highly insecure about Akane to being extremely irate at that. "That's none of your fucking business, Ranma. Now say your prayers! Bakusai Tenketsu!" Ryoga threateningly snarled as he unleashed yet another breaking point attack on Ranma, of which the latter was sure to dodge.
Ranma added physical insult to emotional injury by side stepping and tripping the lost boy up so he'd find the breaking point and end up falling all over himself in so doing. This pissed Ryoga right off as indicated by him lashing out and trying to blow Ranma's brains in. The young anything goes martial artist prevented this by blocking Ryoga's punch with his forearm and kicking him in the scrotum a split second later. That was when the old woman doused both young fighters in cold water.
"Gwuh. Puooeoh. Wyeh." A waterlogged P-chan squeaked and squealed in agony. "Too bad, so sad, Pork ass cause you ain't the only one sufferin from a Jusenkyo curse." Ranko spat back at P-chan, all whilst looking none the worse for wear herself. On her way to Furinkan high, Ranko had an idea for a white day gift; why not give P-chan to Akane as the gift. The only stipulation of course, was that she had to do so as a guy. So Ranko took P-chan with her to school, only to hog tie the poor bastard to a tree trunk, so as to make sure his terrible sense of direction doesn't get him lost again.
After school, just outside of Furinkan high, 3:00 pm
Another uneventful school day had blown by for Ranma Saotome; uneventful by his standards at least. He had asked Tatewaki Kuno to keep an eye on P-chan for him as his angelic Pig tailed temptress. Kuno's white day gift would come as a commemorative mood ring. Ranko received this token of Kuno's affection with but a fast paced, well placed upper cut directly to the deranged samurai wannabe's lower jaw that sent him well into the Ionosphere.
Ranma had just untied P-chan from his porcine perdition of a tree trunk, and was hiding him behind his back with Akane to his front. "Better make it quick, Ranma! I don't have all day you know." Akane chided. "Well, I'd thought that you'd like to see P-chan as my white day gift for you, throwing in a box of chocolates just to sweeten the deal. So here they are, hope your happy." Ranma replied as he presented P-chan to Akane, who's reaction can only be described as joyful.
"Heeh, NO! Really? Thanks Ranma, never thought you'd be nice for once." Akane accepted P-chan into her chest as she cooed a "Where have you been you naughty boy." Just then, all of a sudden, Kuno came crashing down to Earth on the swimming pool at Furinkan high with a very fiery impact. This caused a massive geyser to erupt from the sheer force of the impact. Most of the water would return to the pool, along with whatever dirt, debris, and grime Kuno and the water would bring with them. The rest would rain on school grounds, making whatever cleanup was to be had into a living hell.
"Yeah, you would be satisfied with P-chan, seeing as how you frickin sleep with the little faggot, 24/7!" Ranma sneered as he resumed his walk home along the railings. "Oh yeah, coming from the stupid fucking pervert who would practically sleep with all of his goddamn fiancees!" Akane shot back. "Rah shut up, washboard." Ranma retorted. "Whatever, hrrmph!" Akane huffed as she too walked home at pace. "That was quick." Nabiki mused as she too took her walk home. Ranma and Akane didn't exactly talk with each other all day after that.