I own nothing.
A portion of this chapter is loosely inspired by the office episode Dinner Party. If you haven't seen it you should it however doesn't have the amount of action and hilariousness that ensues in this chapter. Enjoy.
"I know this is a very serious situation but that was awesome. Who knew Mama May had so many weapons? Did you Doc?"
"I probably had some idea but not to this extent."
"Nothing in the back. Do you think this happens to anyone else or is it just us?" says Mack
"You mean prepping for a potential fire fight at Mama May's house of all places. Yeah, just us." responds Skye before crouching down behind the couch
"That's what I thought."
"What happens when you initiate the lockdown?" asks Simmons sitting in a chair next to Mrs. May
"Let's just say it will be impossible to enter this house."
"You are awesome." says Fitz
"So I've been told. Now what are you two making? It's not a tracker is it? I already have one in Qiaolian." says Mrs. May as she presses the lockdown button
"How'd you know? You put a tracker in your daughter." says Simmons
"She's probably done the same to you guys." says Mrs. May as she looks at the monitors while Fitz and Simmons start checking their bodies for any places where a tracker could go.
"When did SHIELD start up cloning program?" asks Mrs. May pointing to the screen
"This is not good."
"I bet you're happy now." says Coulson as he and May hide behind trees near the driveway
"Why is that? Stop moving Phil. I hear footsteps."
"You may get to shoot someone before the night is over."
"My type of party. Shhh, they're getting closer."
"I only see two of them. What are they carrying?"
"Looks like wine and wine glasses."
"What in the world? Oh no."
Skye, Mack, and Doctor Garner are in the living room when they hear banging on the door.
"Could you be any louder? Why are we here?" says an computerized voice
"What? There's no door handle."
"Why are we here, Ward?"
"Garret once told me that Fury had a house out here and he may have given it May's Mother as a gift."
"Still doesn't explain why we're here and why you brought wine."
"To eat dinner and to party. Have you ever been to a dinner party before? Maybe there's a working door around back."
"Ward has really lost it." whispers Hunter to Bobbi as they observe Ward and Agent 33 walking to the back of the house
"Quiet." hisses Bobbi
"Even if Mrs. May is here, I think she can tell that I'm not her daughter. What are you hoping she doesn't see the giant scar or hear my voice?" asks Agent 33 as they reach the back door.
"We just need to get in. Have a friendly chat with Mrs. May and convince her to invite her daughter and the others over for dinner." says Ward as he pulls out his gun and starts shooting at the door.
"You have officially lost it. She might not even live here, have you considered that. These doors are reinforced steel shooting at it is not going to work."
"Fine. Try the window."
"May, where are you going?" says Coulson running after May
"Ward and Agent 33 know where my Mom lives. Where do you think I'm going."
"You can't."
May stops and turns around to face Coulson with a look that could kill him where he stood.
"You want to say that again."
"What I mean is, where are you going to put them for the rest of the night? In the basement? We can't drive around with the two of them in the back of the car tied up and drugged. As much as I would like to do that. We reveal ourselves, then they will definitely know where your Mom lives. It would put a damper on the evening. What we need is a way to track them?"
"Take off your tie." says May walking back in the other direction towards the car that Ward and Agent 33 brought.
"I just planted those." said Mrs. May as she watches Ward and Agent 33 trample over her colorful flower beds by the patio.
"How much more can those windows take?" says Simmons
"Is there anyway that you could put a stop to this?" asks Fitz
"Of course, I'll just have to redo the patio. Let's just hope your friends on the roof are out of the way." responds Mrs. May
"What do we do?" asks Bobbi over the noise.
"Maybe they'll leave on their own terms. What in the world is that?" says Lance
In front of them they see panels open and four automated machine guns appear and swivel in the direction of Ward and Agent 33.
"I think I may be a little in love with Mrs. May. Cover your ears." says Bobbi
"You put a tracker in my tie. Why would you do that?"
"You got lost in a Costco, Phil, a Costco. Why do you think? Put the tracker over there."
"What about the others? Do you have trackers on them?"
May doesn't get a chance to respond because of the sound of gunfire.
"That can't be Hunter and Bobbi. They don't have that kind of fire power."
"Neither does Ward."
"Your Mom is so cool. She's scaring them away." says Coulson pulling May back into the woods
"Where did those guns come from?" asks Skye as she watches Ward and Agent 33 run away
"I had automated machine guns installed on the roof in case of emergencies." says Mrs. May as she walks downstairs with FitzSimmons trailing behind her
"Alright Mama May. Are they gone?"
"Yeah. They ran for the hills. Now let us in." yells Hunter from outside
"So you do talk." says Mrs. May as she let's them in
"He's not supposed to. Where are May and Coulson?" asks Bobbi
"Securing the perimeter probably and most likely making sure that Ward and Agent 33 are gone. " answers Mack
"If they're smart, they won't come back." says Simmons
"It's all clear." says Coulson as he and May return to the house.
"It's too bad we couldn't capture them." says Fitz
"Don't worry. We put a tracker on the car." responds Coulson now glaring at May
"How? Do you just happen to tracker have a tracker on you at all times." says Bobbi
"It's true then. You do put trackers on us." says Simmons now pointing accusingly at May
"That is a violation of privacy, May." says Mack to May as Coulson nods
"Excuse me for caring."
"I'm fine with it." says Skye
"Really." says Simmons
"Yeah. I mean if I get kidnapped again it means that you'll at least know where I am."
"Well when you put it that way I guess its okay. May you can continue to track us." says Coulson
"Like you actually have a say in the matter." says May
That was fun to write. Bedtime is coming up.