Assassin Drones: The original saga
Silent invasion arc. De Arimasu!
By Alex Young
Aboard the Rapier, 11:00 am. April 10, 2002
"Sheesh! The boss has been going at it for ten consecutive solar cycles." Raikoume piped up. "I know, right? He gets like this once a beacon's signal reaches him depending on how powerful it is." Kamikase replied in unadulterated agreement. "A power level like that would certainly be enough to get the boss fighting in the cyberscape using the naked vector, his most powerful form, for that long a time frame." She finished as soon as the 588 year old Aoryuzen emerged from the cyberscape coming out of the naked vector.
Apparently it left him with extreme fatigue, and temporary amnesia because his brain in the naked vector was so focused on killing the fictitious enemies that were in front of him that his memory storage capabilities were stymied drastically. All this means that the naked vector is a sort of high that entails some extreme body modification, of which all mechadrones are very capable.
However, this case of amnesia would not last as Aoryuzen was better able to remember every single DNA clone he had slain in his ten day training exercise. Including a certain Fuyuki Hinata, albeit radically different from the Fuyuki that exists as of yet. One can even note that the duration at which he can stay in the naked vector is directly related to the strength of the beacon's signals. In other words, the stronger the signal, the longer that he can stay in the naked vector.
His world conquering career had proven time and again that the naked vector is without any denial the deadliest weapon in Alpha 134's arsenal. That's because It has the Shinju energy sealed up in six different locations, all equally portioned: One on each of his four limbs, one on his chest, and the last as an emergency reserve. That much power is lethally taxing on the user's body, except when it is used in the cyberscape.
It's because of this double edged sword effect that Aoryuzen deemed the naked vector as an absolute last resort, when nothing else would do the job. "Whew, never thought it would keep me going for that long." Aoryuzen mused tiredly as the raptor twins handed him the message.
"What's this?" He inquired curiously. "We got this message from Earth directed to Keron. Apparently it tells of a network built by some organization with the intent of thwarting alien invasions." Raikoume replied bluntly. Aoryuzen took a moment to listen to a recently prerecorded video of Moaghen as second in command. "Oh yeah, No wonder Gial seems to have stopped." Aoryuzen muttered in enlightenment.
"Anyways, thanks for the intel. Attention all crew! We'll press forward with the invasion while the TransLoDefCom network is not yet completely active!" Aoryuzen commanded as Alpha 134 proceeded with the invasion, with Naozi being the next in line for launch towards planet Earth, where he would perform a more complete study on the planet's biomass composition.
A vacant lot in Nerima, 8:00 pm
It was dark out, lightning barreled down from the heavens, and Genma had been confronted by a mysterious young man brandishing a pony tail and wielding a giant sized spatula. Apparently, he looked like an okonomiyaki chef complete with the required uniform. "After all these years, why? Why did it have to come to this?" Genma lamented. "Why, you may ask? It's all because you let him die." The young okonomiyaki practitioner hissed in a tone comparable to cobra venom.
"Say wait a sec, you're not Ucchan, are you?" Genma queried nervously. "That's Ukyo to you, now TAKE THIS!" The young man apparently known as Ukyo snarled with sheer ferocity as he lashed out with his giant spatula. Genma dodged this assault only for his foot to land on a batter bomb, thereby ending the fight before it even got past the thirty second mark. A good five minutes later found Ranma dragging his father all the way back home. Upon arrival, however, Ranma began poring over the challenge letter of okonomiyaki. {Who is this "Ukyo," anyhow?} Ranma pondered to himself munching on the okonomiyaki letter.
Meanwhile, In Kululu's computer room
"Kuuukukuku I see what you're doing up there. So I may as well have a listen." Kululu sniggered as he proceeded to remotely tap into the transmission antenna that was installed by Gial just yesterday. \This is going to take a long while from now to complete, as in four months from now./ Gial forewarned. \I see, so you'll need the necessary supplies for your launch cannon./ Aoryuzen replied. \Yes. A Gerald Bull type gas propulsion cannon; a super gun./ Gial elucidated. \It will take about four months to complete the gun, but we need not worry because it will take exactly two years for the network to complete./ Gial reassured.
With that, Kululu turned off the wire tapper and interlocked his amphibian fingers in a Gendo pose. "So that's what you were up to, then? Tch!" Kululu scoffed as he motioned to answer a call to his computer, thereby breaking his Gendo pose. \Hello there Kulu-san./ A voice emerged as though they've met before. "Ah, Nibiru-san, long time no see." Kululu answered. Nabiki and Kululu have since been referring to each other by code name ever since their first phone conversation together; by the more formal Nibiru-san and Kulu-san respectively.
\Hey Kulu-san, just heard that this 'Ukyo' had beaten Mr. Saotome to a total pulp with you won't believe it; okonomiyaki./ The voice, dubbed "Nibiru-san" replied. "Oh dear! May as well check it out then." "Good, I'll rendezvous with you at that vacant lot." Nabiki finished before hanging up. Nabiki opened up her closet remembering to prepare her secret outfit that she duped Kuno into paying for a while back.
A back alley in Nerima, 12:01 am. April 11, 2002
The streets were very lonely at midnight, and Nabiki had emerged from the back alley in a khaki skirt suit, a white dress shirt, a pair of brown pantyhose, black high heels, and a pair of shades. She casually sauntered on over to her rendezvous point, where Kululu awaited her. Kululu wore an androsuit with a taupe dress coat, a brown suit with matching fedora, a white dress shirt, and a red tie.
"You're late!" Kululu remarked. "I know, I was just collecting intel on Ukyo's apparent 'return.'" Nabiki replied. "How?" Kululu inquired. "Take a good look." Nabiki requested pointing her thumb to another young man behind her. His name was Copycat Ken, So named for his ability to disguise himself as anyone provided he take pictures of them.
He's been going around asking questions disguised as various people at first, and later taking photos of Ukyo to gather visual data on his fighting style. He even went as far as to request as Akane that Ukyo make two patties of okonomiyaki for him to go, only for Ukyo to incur the wrath of Tatewaki Kuno shortly afterward. Of course, he simply took advantage of that situation as it unfolded and escaped.
"I got the intel you requested, just like you told me." He affirmed presenting the photos and the okonomiyaki to the both of them, one for Nabiki's consumption, the other for Kululu's analysis. "Just as I suspected." Nabiki mused as she took a bite into her sample. Copycat Ken took his leave as Nabiki and Kululu further discussed the matter over some okonomiyaki.
Furinkan high, 8:00 am
Nabiki just leaned against the door awaiting her quarry while Kululu sat in a sage green 1994 Volvo 940 station wagon with a beige interior. "Kukukuuuu, this ought to be fun." He snickered standing by with his laptop at the ready to download any recorded footage from her cell phone conveniently held in one of her uniform cardigan's inner pocket. As soon as she was approached by Ukyo on her way to class, though.
"Say, you're not Ukyo Kuonji, are you?" Nabiki questioned causing Ukyo to freeze in place upon such a question reaching his ears. "W-wait! How did you know?" A dumbstruck Ukyo replied. "A little birdie told me that you were the one who whipped Mr. Saotome into a pulp, am I right?" Nabiki deadpanned coldly. "I don't believe this. You dirty, hmph!" Ukyo huffed as he stormed off to his next class.
"Oh, Kuno baby!" Nabiki called out pointing to Ukyo, who was talking with what looked like Akane, albeit paler and much more zombie like. "No, I don't have time for your sob story bullsh-" "YE, WHO DAREST TO FLIRT WITH AKANE TENDO YET AGAIN!? I SHALT NOT HAVE IT KHAA-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!" Kuno screeched with his rapid fire sword thrust before Ukyo whacked both him and "Akane" upside their heads with his giant spatula.
"Like I was about to say before, I don't have anytime for this bullshit!" Ukyo sneered before marching off to class. "Grrruwuh DRAT! Foiled again! I, Tatewaki Kuno, Blue thunder of Furinkan high, shalt hath mine revenge ye-EGAD! AKANE TEN-DOH. Oh. YOOOOUUUU!" Kuno growled at the frightened Akane impostor.
"HIKARU GOSUNKUGI! ISHALTHAVETHYHEADFORTHISTREACHERYuponminecharacteryedemonicminionofRanmaSaoto..." Kuno snarled at the nerdy looking student, apparently named Hikaru Gosunkugi, as he chased him down the hallway fading into the distance. {What. An. Idiot!} Nabiki mused as she too resumed her route to class after having turned off the recording device in her concealed cell phone.
"Class, I-I'd like for you all to meet the new student at Furinkan high named Ukyo Kuonji." The teacher stuttered as Ukyo whipped up some okonomiyaki for the class. "Say, wait a sec! I think I remember you from somewhere!" Ranma remarked citing that his presence had somehow jogged the young anything goes martial artist's memory. "So, we meet at last. I challenge you, Ranma! We'll meet at the gym after class." Ukyo declared as he ran off towards the gym to prep the arena. {Oh shit. Another one? Man this is gettin old.} Ranma bemoaned as he slouched down to take a bite of some okonomiyaki.
Just outside the Furinkan high Gym, 8:30 am
The crowd gathered round, murmuring to each other in wonder. "He's late." Ukyo growled to himself when all of a sudden, Ranma dropped in and called out a "Hey okonomiyaki Ucchan, how's it goin!?" Ukyo of course responded by throwing some razor sharp spatulae at Ranma, some of which he deflected, whilst dodging the rest. "How dare you take this duel so lightly!" Ukyo cried swinging that giant spatula around like a madman.
"With your reaction and all, I'm beginning to think that your mad at me." Ranma assumed as he sat on top of the spatula. "That does it! YOU'RE DEAD MEAT!" Ukyo screeched as he tossed Ranma into the outermost edge of the dueling arena. "OW, shit! What the hell did I ever do to you?" Ranma yelped in agony as he landed on what wasn't an arena at all, but a Teflon coated, arena shaped, okonomiyaki cooking surface!
"One that's hot enough to fry an egg. Incredible, isn't it?" Genma commented. "Hey, since when were you here among the spectators!?" Akane cried out in utter surprise. Ukyo threw some more spatulae at Ranma, Only for him to land in a batter bowl. "What the hell? Ya didn't just put gorilla glue in there, didja?" Ranma snarled in the glue trap he landed himself into.
"That, ladies and gentlemen was just the first example of how I mixed in a few ingredients of my own, all guaranteed to send you out the frying pan straight into the fire!" Ukyo began. "In other words, it's just your ordinary batter, plus a little rubber cement mixed in." He finished as he charged at Ranma, who just managed to hot foot it out of the glue trap. "Oopsie, I almost forgot to oil the griddle!" He cried spinning a giant oiling brush at him, thereby making the surface very slippery! Ranma would find this out the hard way, with his buttocks paying the price for it.
Ukyo save his best attack for last. "This is my best attack yet, a batter dragon mixed with gunpowder and sulfuric acid!" He screeched as he mixed the corrosive batter to form a dragon. He shot the caustic dragon at Ranma, who escaped the attack unscathed. The arena, however, wasn't so fortunate as the ropes exploded and melted away. Ranma then launched a counter attack with a tempura noodle lasso, and tossed the young okonomiyaki practitioner out of the arena.
Ranma then gave chase as Ukyo bolted out of dodge after having realized that he was fighting a losing battle. "Hey, I only went easy on you just 'cause we were friends and all." Ranma called out in hot pursuit. "I mean, get back here you chicken, and here you call yourself a guy." He snarled. "Hey, since when was I a..." "Cut the crap, a'ight?" Ranma interrupted as he knee launched Ukyo in the air, grabbed his spatula, and took a downward swing.
The spatula slashed open his okonomiyaki uniform at the chest, which he proceeded to cover up immediately afterward. "Well, Let me tell ya sumpin, Ucchan! I tried ta be nice to ya and this is how you return the favor?" He questioned angrily as he bent the spatula out of shape. "H-hey! Don't do that! Whoa, whaa, oof!" Ukyo spat tripping over his own feet as he barreled toward Ranma and fell down onto him.
This, ultimately, was the moment that Ranma realized that this 'he' was a she. He could tell just by feeling her chest in his face. Ranma squirmed out of this perverted predicament with ease. "Gotta scoot." "Hey, wait, you half baked jackass!" Ukyo cried out as Ranma hopped onto the shed roof with her in pursuit this time. She grabbed Ranma by the scruff of his neck, and tussled with each other until one section of the roof collapsed underneath them.
Upon waking up, Ranma queried a "You some kinda hermaphroDOH!" Only to get bitch-slapped by Ukyo who angrily replied with a "I AM NOT A HERMAPHRODITE! I am 100% girl! Got it, jackass!?" "R-right, got it." Ranma replied in recovery. "Listen, my pops just up and ran off with your dad's okonomiyaki cart, after I commented on how I loved okonomiyaki more than I loved you by biting into it." Ranma confessed.
"I can see that, but you should have seen how devastated my dad was after the fact. Unfortunately, as though that weren't enough to drive my dad to commit ritual seppuku, there was also the fact that..." Ukyo was interrupted by Genma who unexpectedly showed up with the crowd. "Ukyo, meet Ranma. Ranma, meet your betroth..." Genma was about to introduce Ranma and Ukyo when Ranma suddenly flicked his glasses off with his right hand, launched a devastating left hand hook to the eyes, grabbed him by the tongue and pulled it out with that same right hand.
"Hiyaa!" *FWAP!* Ukyo and Akane screeched in unison as they unleashed a vicious uppercut to Genma's chin and a bench upside his head respectively, both of which caused him to bite his own tongue. Ranma of course, rammed Genma's tongue back in. Genma then covered his mouth and writhed in pain. "OOOOOOW! What was that for!?" Genma moaned in a hand-muffled, pain stricken voice as he rocked back and forth.
"You see, folks? Genma here made off with our cart and broke it, which drove my dad to commit ritual seppuku out of sheer anguish for his lost and broken cart. That left me crying to the point of wanting revenge, so I took it upon myself to use his spatula, and toss the raging sea in over itself with it. All part of my quest to become the best okonomiyaki chef in all the world!" Ukyo proclaimed accusing Genma of what he had done.
"You enemy of women, take that!" One of the girls growled as she and the rest of the angry mob proceeded to pound the living shit out of Genma's ass. "See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!" Ranma called out as he took off through the window in the heat of the moment. "Hey, come back here, jackass!" Ukyo snarled as she, too, jumped through that same window. Ukyo already found herself looking around for Ranma because he had bolted out of her sight.
Ranma found what looked to be Kululu in his espionage androsuit, dragged the Keronian in disguise, and kicked him into the fracas going down in the shed. Kululu accidentally groped Akane in his stumble into the shed, causing her to scream in agony. "Hey, you! You're even worse than the fat one!" Another girl screeched. "Kukukuuu! I absolutely, unequivocally cannot see what's so bad about what I'm doing now." "GET HIM!" Kululu found himself getting chased out of the shed taking a turn opposite to Ranma's direction.
As soon as Kululu tripped on himself, the angry mob of girls encircled and beat him to a giant, amphibian pulp with any manner of found objects made into blunt weaponry. "Oh, yeah! That felt good." "That'll teach ya, you pervert!" The girls called out as they left Kululu for dead on campus. Kululu swore to himself that he would exact his revenge on Ranma for this humiliation.
Surprisingly, however, he found his androsuit battered, but still very intact. "Whoa, Kulu-san, you're a mess!" Nabiki cried out concerned for her blackmailing partner in crime. "Don't worry about me, I'm about to do something much worse to the faggot who pushed me in." Kululu sneered darkly as he replaced his broken glasses for a fresh pair. "That would be Ranma, by the way. Simply because he wanted someone to get that angry mob off of his case." Nabiki remarked as he motioned to get Kululu in androsuit back up on his feet. "Be careful out there, Kulu-san." Nabiki smirked as she returned to class. "You, too, Nibiru-san." Kululu replied as he limped his way back into his car.
Out near the swimming pool, 8:40 am
Ranma was out searching for the bent spatula, only to unbend it and toss it over to Ukyo. "Say, why are you being so nice all of a sudden?" She inquired confusedly. "Hey, I'm only doin dis jus cause I wanna take my punishment like a man, and you're the only one to do it." He stated as he sat down to brace himself. "So that's it, then, you want me to make you pay for what you did to me, HIYAA! YAA! YAA! HAIIIIYAA!" Ukyo screeched as she repeatedly whacked Ranma with the spatula for a good 5 minutes until he was unconscious.
"That should do it." She heaved as she left him another okonomiyaki letter for Ranma to read upon recovery. [Say, Ranma honey. Let's just let bygones be bygones, ok?] The letter read out. "You know what I hafta say bout that? Well I would like to keep my promise of of caring for you fer the rest of my life, but the catch-22 is that I've been engaged to someone else. She goes by the name of Akane." Ranma though out loud as he heard a faint "Ranma!" from Akane.
Ranma motioned himself back up on his feet, Akane read the letter out loud, eventually shoving it into Ranma's face and dragging him by the wrist. She dragged him all the way to the shed and slammed the door. Ranma removed the okonomiyaki from his face and ate it all up. "Whaddaya know, looks like old pops got up and left on his own." Ranma quipped. "What's the hell's the matter with you, Ranma!?" Akane shot towards Ranma.
"I dunno! Another fiancee, perhaps?" He retorted flatly. "Well, I kinda hafta feel for you." Akane murmured in a considerably more hushed tone. "Why is that?" Ranma queried still feeling a little defensive. "How do I put this? Well, it's because I lo-" Akane said when she was interrupted by Genma with a "Did you say that you love Ran..." *KABOM!* "MAAAAAAAAaaaaaa..." "STOP FUCKIN BUTTIN IN ALREADY!" "YEAH, THIS IS BETWEEN ME AND RANMA!" They both exploded in rage as they booted Genma's sorry ass high into the stratosphere.
"Ooooooh geez, I can't believe some people." Ranma pouted. "Well, do you want to know why I'm way more jealous than you are?" Akane offered as she locked the shed door next to her. "We'll, go on, Akane, why is that?" Ranma inquired. "Well, It's because I love you." Akane replied tenderly as she slowly closed the gap between them. "Whoa, that's deep." Ranma shuddered at the thought of Akane behaving the way she was towards him. "Hey, Aka-Aka..." Ranma stuttered as Akane motioned her chest in between Ranma's arms.
"Go on you pervert, touch me!" Akane giggled playfully after having parted her lips with Ranma's. {W-WHAT THE HELL!? Did, she just, kiss me!?} Ranma's thoughts raced around already wanting to make sense of what just transpired. His hands shifted around her breasts, with his fingers stroking the round surface. In letting go a short while later, he realized something else that wasn't nearly as startling; her chest wasn't as flat as it looked. After all that, Ranma and Akane couldn't help but stare at each other for a while.
"Well, we're keepin that one between ourselves." He proposed. "Agreed." Akane replied before she was carried by Ranma bridal style in his exit from out the hole still present in the shed. A few minutes later... "RANMA SAOTOME!" Kuno snarled as he stomped over to the shed door. "Prepare to suffer thy divine punishment at the blade of the blue thunder of Furinkan high, Tatewaki Kuno!" He exclaimed carnivorously as he slashed the lock open and kicked the door in.
All that, only to walk into an empty shed where Ranma and Akane had their intimate encounter. "That vile sorcerer must have used an invisibility spell or something." Kuno mused as he scoured the shed for any signs of life. He ruffled a tarp, and slashed the shelving unit it covered thinking that it was Ranma. That caused the unit to collapse on Kuno, and that would explain his sudden disappearance for the entire duration of the school day.