Assassin Drones: The original saga
Silent Invasion Arc. De Arimasu!
By Alex Young
Aokigahara forest, 10:00 pm. May 11, 2002
It was a rain soaked night in the woods of what some call "the suicide forest," and a hooded Radon had been out stalking his prey ever since his arrival 30 minutes ago. He was clad in a forest camouflage hoodie to match his fractal cargo pants, as well as a pair of fingerless leather gloves. The boy hitman pressed his left hand against a tree trunk, combed the bark with his fingers, and felt a broken twig. He fingered the twig before realizing that his intended victim had been through here.
"These tracks are still fresh." He mused as he stared down at the footprints in the ground. After a while of scrounging about the undergrowth to the pitter patter of rain, he has sighted his target. The target was sitting down deeply contemplating suicide in writing what he had planned to be his last ever haiku.
"I am Yamada Musashi, I was wrong, and I'm sorry, Tanaka. Sorry for what I did to you and your sister, Kaneda. Now I must put an end to this myself." The target, Yamada, moaned tearfully before taking one last sip of sake. He raised his short sword draped in silk in his last moments. Alas, his ritual suicide would be cut short by a bullet to the brain as he had just plunged his sword into his gut. "Whiiiw, oughta scalp the poor bastard." Radon mused as he motioned to scalp and take a picture of his latest victim as proof of performance to his most recent client, Mukade.
At the Hinata residence, 3:00 pm. May 14, 2002
Natsumi was sitting cross legged on the bed communicating via Email on her laptop. [Tarantula3483 : Hey, wanna try something cool? Summerof88 : What r u talking about? Tarantula3483 : I'm talking about the ultimate high ATM. Summerof88 : I'd rather, not. Tarantula3483 : Aw c'mon! Don't be such a sourpuss just because I was talking about a weed high. Summerof88 : I was just expressing my disapproval in as polite a fashion as possible. Now buzz off!] The message screen displayed as she proceeded to block the user attempting to get her to try some marijuana through Email.
"Pothead!" She spat as she closed her laptop, put it away somewhere, and laid flat on her back to think over what had just transpired. In Fuyuki's room, however, our budding Romeo had just established a dress code structure for his daily outings with Momoka that he himself put into effect last Monday. In fact, the youngest Hinata was looking his handiwork over in a mirror in his denim shirt, white tie, and white dress pants.
He set it in a way so that he would be required to wear his white shirt, light blue shirt, denim shirt, or black shirt (all four can be worn at anytime throughout the week, in fact he had been wearing his denim shirt all week) on Mondays, all other shirts are to be worn with a white tie and white dress pants. He would be required to wear an earth tone tie and/or dress pants (earth tone dress shirts are optional, though he is to wear a white tie and/or white pants) on Tuesdays.
He would be required to wear either his white shirt with a black tie and navy dress pants or a navy tie and gray dress pants, his school shirt with any other tie and dress pants, or his black shirt with any other tie and dress pants (or he can just leave his winter uniform untouched, but only on schooldays, just like with Mondays, all other shirts are to be worn with a white tie and white pants) on Wednesdays.
He could wear any dress shirt, as long as either a tie or a pair of dress pants looks flush with it (his black dress shirt, denim shirt, light blue shirt, and white shirt can be worn on this day with any other ties and dress pants) on Thursdays. He would be required to wear any shade of blue, red shirts or his black shirt on Fridays. During the weekends, he could wear any color dress shirt as long as he wears a white tie and white dress pants though a more casual short sleeve polo shirt or a turtleneck sweater can be worn without a tie and dress pants (just not on school days) on any day.
This dress code strongly encourages that he wear a white and white pants at least once a week (specifically excluding the weekends, which already require that he wear a white tie and white pants with any dress shirt). All and all, Fuyuki is only required to observe this new dress code when going out on a date with Momoka (the observance of which is pretty much a non issue anyways given that he'd go out with her as often as possible) whenever she is available. With all that being said and done, he called Natsumi for her chaperoning, and went on his way with his older sister in toe.
At Yamada Musashi's burial site, 9:00 am. Approximately one week since Yamada was assassinated
[A bloodthirsty terrorist, an unknowing child abuser. Now a ronin on the verge of a mental breakdown. I guess it's only fitting to say that I had it coming.] The epitaph on Yamada's gravestone recited as his eldest daughter, Tanaka, wore a full mofuku kimono trying to make sense of what had happened with her father on that fateful night. The epitaph was actually his very last haiku that he wrote as a suicide note before Radon's bullet put a swift and somewhat merciful end to his life.
Tanaka wore a saddened, but tearless expression as she stared at the gravesite. "I guess that this was for the best, after all. Goodbye, father." Tanaka mused sadly because as harsh as her disowning her father was, she harbored no grudge against him (also known as tough love), and therefore did not wish for him to die. In fact, she only wished for him to use his ronin status as an opportunity to learn from his mistakes, and if possible, even atone for them.
All so he could lead a much better life so he would never go down the path that lead to trouble again. Through it all, what was done was done, and she along with her younger sister, Kaneda, can only grow up and move on from such a tragedy. After a short while of lamenting his death alone, Tanaka proceeded to return home figuring that she had handled this whole thing fairly well overall.
Near the upcoming school soccer match at Kissho Junior High's soccer field, 4:00 pm
Fuyuki and Momoka had been walking side by side along with Natsumi, and Radon (Alias, Ryota Shirotabi) as they proceeded to attend the game. Momoka decided it best to attend with Fuyuki knowing that it's not a flamboyant spectacle that make's the game, it's who she attends the game with (especially Fuyuki) that makes the game. Fuyuki wore a hand made white dress shirt with a small, light blue window pattern, an olive tie, and olive dress pants.
Momoka on the other hand, wore a lavender capelet over a matching cardigan and white western dress as opposed to the usual kimono. Ryota and Natsumi wore their everyday clothes attending the game along side the class couple. However, unbeknownst to Fuyuki and the gang, Ryoga Hibiki had been watching from the shadows, clad in what is essentially a short sleeve version of his usual golden yellow summer shirt. He also wore a very morose expression as he couldn't think of anyone but Akane in watching our Kissho class couple.
How Ryoga wound up near Kissho Junior High, you may ask? We can all leave that to his god awful sense of direction, hence, the nickname "Lost boy." {Oh, Akane. I can't help but think of you when I see those two schoolkids walking hand in hand. I mean, that should be the two of us, side by side, faithful to each other till the very end.} Ryoga mused miserably when all of a sudden, Ranma Saotome popped in much to his more than a little unpleasant surprise.
"Hiya, P-chan. What're you doin here?" Ranma chirped up as Ryoga emitted a short, sharp shriek in surprise. "D-Don't just sneak up on people like that!" Ryoga reprimanded stammering in embarrassment. "Aww c'mon, that ain't very nice! Well, then again, neither is THIS!" Ranma cried as he unleashed some seven to eight photos of Akane clad in an experimental type of bra designed for sexual intercourse, all during her voluntary photo shoot for the cover of the latest special explicit edition issue of The top lechers magazine.
"Tell ya what Porky pig, I'll stop followin ya around if you don't get a nosebleed from any of the pictures yer seein right now." Ranma proposed as Ryoga found himself rather unable to contain impending nosebleed. Ryoga wailed in perverted agony as blood rapidly gushed out of his nose. With that, the poor lost boy fainted as Ranma laughed all the way to the bank at this latest and greatest humiliation ever. After what was not some ten seconds, Ryoga flared up again, this time in pure anger.
"Laugh it up all you want, but you won't be when I'm through with you!" Ryoga growled as he slowly rose to stand erect with a dangerous glare aimed squarely at Ranma, with an even more dangerous vendetta to match. Ranma whistled casually until he suddenly switched to his fighting stance upon hearing Ryoga's most favorite catchphrase; "PREPARE TO DIE, RANMA! BAKUSAI TENKETSU!" With that, Ranma was quick to dodge and kicked Ryoga in the gut afterwards.
"Oh yeah, bacon breath. Look who's fuckin talkin!" Ranma scoffed as the two young combatants traded jabs, hooks, uppercuts, bitch slaps, crescent kicks, roundhouse kicks, bicycle kicks, and several other fundamental fighting moves leaping out of the alley onto the street adjacent to that on Kissho Junior High. Ranma leapfrogged onto Ryoga's head, and onto the balcony over that same alley. "Can't catch me, P-chan!" Ranma taunted as Mousse stepped up to the plate.
"Let me handle this!" Mousse cried as he launched a grappling hook with a chain into the railing, and propelled himself up to face Ranma, thereby joining the fray. "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR DAMNED MIND, MOUSSE!" Ryoga screeched as he rushed into the building wall to figure out how to get up onto the balcony. Mousse immediately came to blows with Ranma upon reaching the balcony railing.
Ranma traded hit after hit with Mousse just like with Ryoga, except Ranma flipped on his back, and knee launched Mousse into an apartment wall, thereby destroying it. "Smell ya later, Mu-mu chan!" Ranma called out as he jumped backward off the balcony railing. "You come back here and fight like a man!" A furious Mousse snarled in hot pursuit of Ranma as he, too, jumped off the balcony to unleashed a hailstorm of various weapons on a water tank below Ranma.
Ryoga suddenly burst through the wall next to the water tank. "Let's see how you like fighting as a girl, bakusai tenketsu!" Ryoga cried out as he pointed at the tank and stabbed it with his pointer as Mousse's weapons missed Ranma completely, impaling the tank within the same split second. With all that, the water tank exploded unable to contain the pressure, therefore this turned Ryoga into P-chan, and Ranma into Ranko. Mousse however had his glasses fall out of his face just before hitting the inside of the tank, thereby turning into Mu-mu, the white duck.
All and all, this latest battle looked to be straight out of a 1970's Chinese martial arts action film, minus the Jusenkyo curses. "Well gee whilikers, you two didn't hafta make me look all slimy and sticky and shit!" Ranko sneered after having realized that Mousse used balloons filled with gelatin mixed with rubber cement. "Oh man, gotta wash all this gunk off!" She spat as she strode in to the nearest bathroom to cleanse herself of Mousse's secret gooey glue trap.
After a good half hour's worth of washing and drying, Ranma stepped out clean of any sticky goo. Apparently, hot water helps in dissolving glue. "Aah, yes! That should do it!" Ranma exalted to himself in relief as he stretched out his arms, only to step in a puddle of cold water. "Aw, Christ. Just my dirty, rotten luck." Ranko sneered glowering at her still unconscious adversaries.
"Well, how do you do, oh pig tailed girl." Kuno greeted. "Never better, in fact, I'm just peachy. How're you doin, today?" Ranko deadpanned sarcastically as Kuno rushed by her side. "Oh let us come to the game, pig tailed girl!" Kuno declared as he glomped Ranko. "Will you cut it out!?" Ranko snarled as she nailed Kuno in the lower jaw, only to have him glomp her again immediately afterward. "I SAID CUT IT THE FUCK OUT!" Ranko screeched as she delivered a strong kick to Kuno's ball sack, thereby incapacitating him on the spot.
"Rrrghk! S-Sasuke!" Kuno hissed as he collapsed on the road doubling over in pain, which the pygmy ninja Sasuke rushed to his master's aid on a man powered ricksha. Sasuke proceeded to carry Kuno into the ricksha out of generosity. "Whatever, I'm goin home." Ranko shrugged as she turned around to walk away only to have Sasuke stop her. "W-wait! Ranma. I have but one request to ask of you." Sasuke pleaded. "Say, Sasuke. Howja know bout my Jusenkyo curse?" Ranko queried in confusion.
"Well, let's just say I've been watchinng your transformations day in and day out. I'm too afraid of what might happen if master Kuno were to discover to actually tell him. Oh woe is me." Sasuke elucidated. "I understand that yer keepin my curse a secret from Kuno, seeing as how yer a ninja, after all." Ranko responded. "Oh, I was about to ask you to get mistress Kodachi's full steel bra back for her." Sasuke requested.
"Tcheh, the old freak is at it again, hm? Whew my, how life never ceases to surprise me. I'll take it! If it means gettin her offa my case for the week." Ranko answered begrudgingly. "Thank you so much for your understanding." Sasuke replied as he saw himself and his master off to the Kuno estate. "Man, gotta wonder as to what I had gotten myself into." Ranko deadpanned to herself as she took her walk home.
Just outside the Tendo residence's dojo gate, 5:00 pm
Ranma stood at the gate thankful for a trip to a conveniently located public bath house. "Whew, thank god for public bath houses." He mused as he opened the door to the main foyer, upon which Ranma's nose twitched a little. "Fhooh, what reeks?" Ranma groused to himself nasally as he smelt what could be described as rotten eggs mixed with powdered iron.
He also heard an "Ooh!" coming from Happosai's room. Another "Ooh!" followed suit, this time a little more intense as Ranma crept up to Happosai's room. He slid the door open a crack to discover that Happosai, the grandmaster of anything goes martial arts, was masturbating to and on Kodachi's full steel bra! All that, even though the bra itself is covered in a paper towel to make clean up less of a hassle, seeing as how Happosai doesn't like the idea of women's underwear smelling like a man's bodily odor.
Aah yes! That's got to feel sooo good!" Happosai moaned in ecstasy too busy to notice Ranma glaring daggers at him solely out of pure disgust. "Yeesh, I shoulda known that it'd be him." Ranma retched as he reached for some firecracker bomb balls, struck a match, slid the door open, lit the fuse, rolled the ball in, slammed it shut, and bolted out of dodge to hear the fireworks going off. Happosai would drag his charred, scarred, and smoldering carcass out of the disaster area called his room with a scowl only he could ever contort his aged mouth muscles into.
"Eh, Ehow could you? You're gonna pay for that, Ranmaaa!" Happosai screeched as he bounded in Ranma's direction. Ranma of course, swerved past Akane, and got in behind her. "R-Ranma, what're you?" "Just trust me, a'ight?" Ranma interrupted as he pulled Akane's shirt up and flashed the incoming lecher with her breasts, much to Soun's apparent horror. "What the hell!?" Akane screamed as Happosai vectored in on her bra clad bosom.
Ranma seized this chance to bag the letch and throw a greenish colored bomb ball, tied it in a knot, and tossed the bag over the house wall. Ranma sped towards Happosai's room, grabbed Kodachi's two piece steel bra, and headed off for the Kuno estate, all without breaking a so much as a sweat. "Ehh, what was that all about?" Nabiki groused in utter disbelief as she couldn't make heads or tails of what just went down between Ranma, Akane, and Happosai.
"Say, daddy. What do you think of, oh, you and Mr. Saotome just fainted. Right, sorry." Nabiki quipped as she quickly made herself scarce from the area upon seeing the fainted patriarchs with an awful lot of mold snowing in the background. Just outside the Tendo residence, however, Ryoga and Mousse were skulking around in the shadows taking their chance upon seeing Ranma bound for the Kuno estate. "Now's our chance. Oh, and don't get in my way next time, Mousse." "You bet, we'll get him for sure." The two conversed as they gave chase after Ranma.
At the Kuno estate, a few minutes later
Ranma had just arrived in the courtyard and is headed for Kodachi's room. Ranma slid the door open, where Sasuke was waiting for him. "I trust that you have.." "Don't worry bout a damn thing, Sasuke! I got her steel undies right here." Ranma confirmed as he placed the steel bra in her room when Kodachi herself laid her hands on top of his. "I honestly cannot thank you enough for your selfless act of fetching my underwear for me wooohohohohoho!" She howled.
"L-Look, you got your undies, now can I please-" "Now now, don't be so rude, make yourself at home, Ranma darling!" Kodachi proposed as she escorted Ranma to the kitchen. {Christ almighty! Talk about outta the fryin pan and into the fire! All over a stupid pair of underwear!} Ranma spat regretting his smash and grab operation when he noticed Kuno charging at Ranma.
"Ranma Saotome! Say thy prayers and prepare to die by mine holiest blade!" Kuno snarled as Ranma broke free of Kodachi's hold with one flick of his captive wrist. "Lemme handle this." Ranma groused as he rushed to meet Kuno head on, when Ryoga blindsided him with a vicious left hand hook instead. "OUCH SHIT! WHERE THE HELL'DJOU COME FROM ALLUVA SUDDEN!?" Ranma snarled countering the lost boy's advance with a hook of his own.
"CEASE AND DESIST, RYOGA HIBIKI! RANMA SAOTOME DOTH BE MINE TO SLAY!" Kuno growled as a heavy steel ball concealing some senbon slammed Ryoga in the back, before opening up to unleash its lethal payload. Ranma dodged that one from Mousse who came at him with a pair of Chinese war swords. "WHAT THE!? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME, MOUSSE!?" Ryoga screeched as he, Kuno, and Mousse ended up coming to blows with each other more often than with Ranma.
"What in the? Fuck this shit, I am outta here! Goodbye!" Ranma snarled disgustedly as he took his leave to escape the Kuno compound. "Ranma darling!" Kodachi cried in despair before Sasuke knocked her out cold upon seeing Happosai armed with a freshly purloined super soaker water gun. "OH NO YOU DON'T, SONNY!" Happosai snarled as he hit Ranma with a water jet from his super soaker. "Oh no!" Sasuke cried as he rushed to douse Ranko with hot water. "HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT! You tryina scald me or sumpin?" Ranma spat in distaste.
"Whoa! Hey! Cut that shit out ya stupid old letch!" Ranma screeched. "That was for hitting me with a freaking Happo mold burst and ruining my sexy time, you ingrate!" Happosai screeched back as he fired his super soaker at Ranma, who had no trouble dodging its water jets. "One shot from my super soaker and you're toast, Ranma!" Happosai growled as he chased Ranma through out the labyrinth that is the Kuno estate building.
Eventually, both battles in the estate would converge into one five way free for all. Ranma took advantage of the chaos to get out of dodge, thereby reducing the number to four. The free for all would speed its way into the boiler room, where Ryoga and the others would heavily scar the boiler, causing it to expand under intense pressure. "Oh no! The boiler! GET OUT OF HERE, NOW!" Sasuke warned, but it was too late, the boiler exploded knocking the door that Sasuke slammed to try and contain the blast down effortlessly. "Oh. May master Kuno undergo a full recovery, soon." Sasuke lamented just before fainting in front of the ruined door.
Somewhere near the Tendo residence, 7:30 pm
Ranma was looking to be no worse for wear after this latest perverted debacle of rivals and fiancees on his return home, when he was confronted by the Tendo sisters. "You didn't have to pull a stunt like that to get at Happosai, Ranma." Akane said in a somewhat disdainful manner. "What else was I supposed to do? I was thinking on the fly, and besides, the old letch was gainin on me, so I had no time to think anout decency." Ranma defended citing how Happosai knows no boundaries when it comes to decency.
"Well Ranma, you really shouldn't just flash her the way you did." Kasumi scolded mildly. "You know, Ranma? I'll let you off the hook for that one." Akane paused for tension. "Is it because I love you?" Akane finished. "You don't mean to say..." "Does a bear shit in the woods, Kasumi?" Nabiki interrupted. "I think we should all know the answer to that!" Ranma stated to everyone else's shock.
"Let's all keep it between the four of us, alright? Don't want Pops marryin us off too soon." Ranma proposed knowing that neither he nor Akane are yet ready for the emotional responsibility that any marriage would entail. "Agreed." The sisters replied as they retired back to the Tendo residence. However, something else was shadowing them; one very angry P-chan!
Somewhere beneath a major public highway in the Juban area, 8:00 pm. May 21, 2002
Rip Rat and company were discussing Xiu Wong's latest report concerning Radon's recent activities. "Listen up folks, our superiors had just exhorted for us to find a certain young woman by the name of Xieng Tzu Lin, and kill her along with Radon and a squad of 10-15 members of her privately owned and operated paramilitary unit dubbed 'Lima Rho 345,' also known as 'Blood scorpion.' We'll show that little shit and the bastard that he's running with who's boss round here, Capicce?" Rip Rat debriefed.
"Hoo hah!" was the response. "Excellent, now let's head 'em up and MOVE 'EM OUT!" Rip Rat snarled authoritatively as the main rat pack scrubbed tire and tore straight down the path that they were assigned to take. As Rip Rat went on his way, however, he was blissfully unaware that a shadowy, hooded figure, about Happosai's size, stood atop a street lamp, watching the moon. "Well, Gial. I wonder what you and your little friends are up to with that super gun you're building?" It mused as it bounded off ahead of the main rat pack to a warehouse where Rip Rat believes that Radon and company are in, to see what is going on