A/N: Here's the chapter I promised, it's also my contribution to Smut Sunday. Hope the smut does the day justice.
Rae left for the airport and Beca soaked in the quiet as she laid in bed. She figured that since she was awake she would start the day with a shower then take a walk to Central Park. She really enjoyed it there and maybe she would be able to finish the song she had been writing for Jesse. She also remembered that she still needed to purchase his gift. She was going to bite the bullet, sure it was a huge expense but Jesse was worth every penny.
An hour later, Beca put her phone and ipad in her purse and headed to Starbucks for a coffee and a muffin. Part of her was starting to feel really guilty for extending her trip but the other part told her that it was perfectly ok to be selfish. The internal battle was starting to wear on her.
After breakfast, Beca hailed a cab and told the driver where she wanted to go. When she got to her desired destination she smiled knowing that Jesse would love his gift. When she walked in she was immediately greeted by a very friendly gentleman named Smokey. He was a big, burly, intimidating looking guy covered in tattoos and facial hair but he was just as sweet as the day was long. He showed Beca around and asked if there was anything in particular she was looking for. She told him she had an idea of what she wanted but she would know for sure when she saw it. They continued to chat as they walked around that's when Beca spotted exactly what she wanted.
She told Smokey that she was going to look around for a bit longer and would let him know when she was ready. Beca found a few other things for Jesse and when she was satisfied with everything she selected, she found Smokey to make her purchases. Smokey told her that he would gift wrap the smaller items and have them shipped to the store in Louisiana along with the large item she purchased and that everything would be ready for her to pick up when she got there in a few days. Beca was super excited and couldn't wait to see Jesse's face when she gave him his gifts.
Her next stop was Central Park. She wished that she had her guitar with her but was sure she could make do without it. She could tweak everything once she got home. She found a bench that wasn't occupied and sat down. While the park was great she wished she could smell the flowers and the grass. There was definitely something to be said for country living and even though it was nothing like home, it was a beautiful afternoon to be outdoors enjoying the day. Beca took her ipad from her purse and got to work.
Jesse woke up excited. Beca was coming home and he couldn't wait to kiss her. It had been and entire week since they had seen each other and he decided that a week was simply too long. He woke up early and got to work. He wanted everything to be done when she got home so he could spend the rest of the day with her.
That afternoon when Tripp pulled in the driveway Jesse could hardly contain his excitement. He missed her so much and it was taking everything in him not to run out of the stables and toward the car but he couldn't because as far as he knew her parents still didn't know about them. He also knew she would want to go inside and shower before she made her way to the stables to see him.
An hour later, Beca still hadn't made it to the stables he sent her a text. "Hey! Don't you forget about me. I'm down here anxious to see you. XO!" He never got a response but figured she decided to take a nap after her shower. A few minutes later Rae walked in and Jesse immediately knew that something was wrong. Rae never stepped foot in the stables.
"Hey Jess!"
"Hey. Where's Beca?"
"Umm...she...uh, she...she asked me to give this to you." Rae said as she handed Jesse the envelope.
"What's this?"
"I don't know. She didn't tell me. She just asked that I give it to you." Rae watched as Jesse opened the envelope and read the letter. "Are you ok?" she asked.
Concerned he asked, "I think the more appropriate question would be is Beca ok?"
Rae nodded. "Yeah, she was fine when I left her this morning."
"So, why did she decide to stay?"
"All she told me was that she needed some extra time."
"But why?"
"Jesse...I wish I knew, but she didn't tell me."
"Or did she tell you not to say anything to me?" Jesse asked angrily.
"She didn't tell me...I swear. All she told me was that she wasn't breaking up with you and that she would be home on Monday."
"Ok fine." Jesse said as he started sweeping the stables.
"Jesse, I'd tell you if she said anything else."
"Yeah ok. She'll be home Monday...whatever!" he yelled.
"Jesse, don't be like that. She's not going to hurt you."
"It's fine Rae. It just hurts to think that I might not be enough to make her come back."
Rae walked toward Jesse and put her hand on his arm to gently turn him. "She loves you so much and I promise you she's coming home. If I believed for even one second that she was doing this to hurt you, I'd punch the shit out of her myself."
Jesse laughed because he knew that Rae wouldn't risk breaking a nail to punch Beca not to mention that fact that she didn't have the balls or the gumption to do it."
"Are you gonna be ok?" Rae asked.
"Yeah, I'll be fine. I just want her home."
Rae hugged Jesse. "Believe it or not I do too even though she gave me shit the entire time we were in New York." She said before walking back toward the house.
"I have no doubt she did." Jesse laughed. "I'll see you around."
"See ya Jess!"
It was easy for Jesse to hide his true feelings from Rae but he couldn't hide them from himself. Beca was the reason for everything good in his life except that now she hadn't come home. He hated feeling like a needy sap, but that's exactly what he was. He not only wanted her, he needed her...she made him whole.
He made his way upstairs. He needed to work out his frustrations and his speed bag was about to get the beating of a lifetime. He removed his shirt and boots before putting his gloves on. He pounded the bag unmercifully, cursing New York and all the things it had to offer Beca that he couldn't. He cursed her parents for sending her, for dangling the carrot in front of her for just long enough that she wasn't going to come back. He cursed Rae for being the messenger. He cursed Beca for not being honest with him and for leading him on. And he cursed himself for being such a fool. Maybe it was time that he found someone who would truly appreciate and love him for everything he had to offer.
He couldn't believe he was thinking these things. He loved Beca with his whole heart and he couldn't turn his back on her, not now, possibly not ever. He had to give her the opportunity to explain herself and why she decided to extend her stay. He became so angry with himself that he swung his leg around to hit his heavy bag. He continued to jab and hook the bag until he got into a good rhythm. He gave the bag one hell of a fight, he grunted and yelled as he pounded the bag until he was exhausted. When he finally had enough, he slid down the wall and mentally beat himself for allowing such poisonous thoughts to enter his head. He had to believe she was coming home. He didn't have to be sweet when she got home. He could be as mad as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest if he wanted to. What really upset him was that he really didn't care if being mad would hurt her or her feelings because she obviously didn't care about him or his feelings. She was off in New York living the high life while he was at home suffering and wondering if she was actually going to come home on Monday as promised. He had to find a way to keep himself occupied over the next couple of days and if beating the shit out of his heavy bag was the only way to do it, then so be it.
Beca finished the song and put her ipad back in her purse, satisfied that it said everything she was feeling. Then she decided to do something that would totally gross Rae out... she got a hot dog from a food truck. She laughed knowing Rae would rather eat dirt than to eat something off a food truck. When she was finished she made her way back to the hotel to change clothes so she could go for a run at least that was her intention. When she got to her hotel room she made the mistake of laying down "for just a minute" only to wake up several hours later. It wasn't like her to nap but the entire week had been exhausting both mentally and physically and it was finally catching up with her, for that reason she decided to stay in, order room service and watch a movie.
As she laid in bed eating a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato basil soup she watched 'The Notebook'. It was probably by far the worst movie she could have chosen to watch because the longer she watched the more she thought about Jesse and when she thought about Jesse she ached to be with him. She wished that she had only asked her dad for one extra day but since she asked for a couple she planned to suck it up and make the most of it. She planned to get to the airport early on Monday in hopes of getting on an earlier flight. She was anxious to get home.
Beca got to the airport early and asked to be put on standby. She was excited when they called her to the desk to let her know that she would be able to get an earlier flight out. Unfortunately for Tripp, that also meant that he would be unable to pick her up from the airport like he planned. So just like he did when the girls needed a ride to the airport, Tripp gave Jesse some cash and asked him to meet Beca.
Normally, Jesse would have been excited to have the extra time with Beca but her being gone the extra couple of days only served to piss him off. He wreaked havoc on his heavy bag, if he wasn't working, he was beating or kicking the shit out of the bag. He had been stewing about her staying in New York since Rae gave him the letter. He knew it would all melt away the minute her saw her but he willed himself to stay strong and stay mad. She hurt him by not coming home on time, then she hurt him further by not taking his calls or responding to his texts and he planned to call her on the carpet about it. It was one thing to be all of those miles away, it was something completely different to ignore him.
Jesse drove 45 minutes to the airport and continued to stew not only about everything Beca had done, or not done but because he agreed to pick her up. Why couldn't he just tell Tripp that he was too busy to go? Why? Because he was weak to Beca and her charm and no matter how pissed off he was he missed her terribly. He ached to hold her, to be close to her.
He saw Beca standing at the curb side pick up, when he pulled up he told himself, "This is it...be mad." Jesse got out of the truck and walked right over to Beca and without saying a word, he took her suitcase and walked back toward the truck. Beca figured he was in a rush because he didn't want to block traffic and that he would give her a proper hello once they were in the truck and on the way home. She threw her carry-on in the back seat and climbed into the front seat to sit next to Jesse. They rode in silence most of the way, the only noise came from the radio and the road. Beca was sure he was upset because she hadn't come home a few days ago but she didn't think he would be like this. Finally after about 30 minutes, Beca just couldn't take it anymore.
"Hi." she said as she ran her hand up his thigh.
"Hi."
"I missed you."
"Yeah."
"Yes, I did." she said sweetly kissing him on the cheek.
"Ok." Jesse said shrugging his shoulders.
"You ok?"
"Yep."
"You sure?"
"Yep." he said as he tapped on the steering wheel in time with the music.
Choosing to ignore his pissy mood Beca said, "I got everyone gifts while I was in New York."
"Ok."
"Yours had to be shipped so it's going to take a few extra days."
"That's nice."
Beca was getting tired of his very short, clipped answers. She turned to face him and said, "You gonna tell me what's wrong?"
"No."
"So, I'm just supposed to guess?"
Jesse chuckled, "If you want."
"What the hell Jess?"
Taking a deep cleansing breath he said, "You promised to come back."
"I did come back!"
"After you ignored me for 2 days!"
"I sent a note."
"Yeah... thanks for that." Jesse said as he pulled into the driveway.
"I needed some time to myself. Is that such an awful thing?"
"No, it isn't but would it have killed you to respond to a text or answer the damn phone?"
Feeling embarrassed Beca mumbled, "No, I guess not."
"Is that all you have to say?"
"What do you want from me?"
"I want you to keep your word."
"I did. I came back didn't I?"
"Yeah, after you shut me out for 2 days."
"You told me to go! I didn't want to...remember?"
"I said that when I thought you were coming back."
"I. AM. BACK!"
"For what?" he said turning to face her. "The rest of your things? For Luke? Tell me Beca, what did you come back for?"
Jesse's words cut like a knife and Beca felt like she had been punched in the stomach. How could he ask her that? "You're an asshole!" she said her eyes filling with tears as she slapped him across the face. She grabbed the door handle before turning back to look at him. "I came back for you. I came back for us."
Jesse knew the second he mentioned Luke that he shouldn't have. He knew that Luke was a hot button issue with her but he wanted her to hurt as badly as she hurt him. He reached across her lap and shut the door.
"Jesse...Let me go!"
"No, I won't, not until you let me apologize and explain." he said as he took one of her hands in his and put his other hand on her knee. Beca let go of his hand and crossed her arms protectively across her chest. She sat quietly looking out the window crying hot, angry, hurt laced tears as Jesse continued, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. You have to understand my position. You stayed in New York and I thought I lost you. You sent me a short note which basically told me nothing. How was I supposed to know what was going on with you when you wouldn't even talk to me? I understand your need for some alone time, but with a simple phone call, all of this anger could have been avoided."
They sat quietly for several minutes before he said, "Beca" and reached over to gently hook her chin with his finger and turn her face toward him. "Beca, please look at me."
Sighing she looked and him and barked, "What!"
He kissed her gently, rested his forehead against hers and said, "I'm really very sorry."
Pulling away she said, "You can't just kiss away what you said. That was a low blow and you know it."
"I know... and I'm so sorry that I said it."
"Jesse, I thought of you every minute of everyday I was gone. There wasn't a single thing that I did that I didn't wish you were right there with me."
Rubbing the back of his neck he said, "Well, now I feel like a ass."
"You should. I stayed a couple of extra days not because I couldn't make up my mind, I stayed because I know I want you. I want us and I want what we have. I know that I'll never go back to New York with dreams of being on Broadway. Being on Broadway was my childhood dream, but you, you're my dream come true, not Broadway."
Jesse didn't know what to say. Beca told him everything he wanted to hear and more. "Really? Is that really how you feel?"
"Yes. What it all boils down to is, yes, I love Broadway, I always have and I always will. It will always hold a special place in my heart, but my heart belongs to you and at the end of the day Broadway won't keep me warm at night. You will."
Jesse couldn't hold himself back anymore. He hadn't kissed her properly in over a week and the first thing he did when he saw her was to pick a fight. He took her face in his hands and he kissed her like his life depended on it. He missed her more than words could ever express. He missed all the little things about her. Her smell, her smile, her snarkiness, her surliness...he missed everything about her and he wanted nothing more than to show her just how much he missed her.
When breathing became and issue, he asked her, "I'll make you a deal?"
"A deal?"
"I don't want you to give up Broadway..."
Beca cut him off, "What are you trying to say?"
"What I was trying to say before you interrupted was I don't want you to give up Broadway or your love for it, soooo I promise that I'll take you to New York once a year. We'll stay as long as you want. We'll do whatever you want."
"Are you serious? You would go to New York with me?"
"I would go to the moon for you and with you."
"Thank you." she said hugging him tightly.
"You're welcome baby. I really am very sorry about what I said."
"I know you are. I hurt to hear you say those things." she admitted as she ran her fingers over the cheek she smacked. "I'm sorry I hit you."
"Don't be. I deserved it."
She gave a little chuckle, "My dad & I spoke while I was in New York. We came up with a plan to deal with the Luke issue."
"And?"
"I have to meet with John tomorrow."
"Good...hopefully, whatever y'all came up with will work and we can put this whole mess behind us."
"Agreed."
"Whatcha say we get out of the truck and get your stuff inside?"
"Yeah... I need to shower off all these airline germs. People on planes are disgusting and have no idea what personal space is."
Jesse laughed. "Those people sound like your friend Amy."
"Yeah, exactly like Amy!" she said as they walked in the house.
Beca went up to her room and began to unpack while the tub was filling up. She was so glad to be home but nervous because she knew she wanted to play the song she wrote for Jesse. She shook her head willing the nervous thoughts from her head. She laid out all of the gifts she bought while she was away then removed all her dirty laundry from her suitcase and sorted it so it could be washed.
After bathing, she applied fresh make-up and towel dried her hair before looking for something to wear. She chose her favorite pair of Miss Me jeans and a cute v-neck t-shirt. She put her boots on, grabbed her guitar and practiced the song she wrote. She wanted to play it at least once before she put her entire heart and all of her feelings on the table for Jesse. Sure, he'd heard her sing before but he never heard her sing a song to him. She wrote this song for him, this was different, there was a lot riding on it. After tweaking a couple of things she was finally satisfied that it was absolutely perfect. She took her guitar and made her way to the stables.
When she walked in Jesse was hard at work, music blasting through the speakers and of course, he was shirtless. She missed watching him work, the way his muscles rippled as he moved, the way he grunted as he threw bales of hay but most of all she missed him. He was everything she wanted and more, she couldn't believe that she had ever entertained the idea of leaving all of this for the confines of the stuffy, concrete jungle.
Sneaking up behind him, she wrapped her arms around him and kissed his warm, sweaty back. He turned around in her arms and kissed her passionately. He put every ounce of what he felt over the last 10 days into the kiss. They were really taking a chance, anyone could walk in on them. Jesse pulled out of the kiss just long enough to say, "Upstairs." before he started pushing her toward the stairs. When they reached the stairs, Beca gave a hop, Jesse picked her up, she wrapped her legs around his waist and he ran up the stairs to their secret hideaway.
Once upstairs, clothes and limbs started flying until they were nude. Jesse immediately took her mouth hostage before he backed her against the wall. He missed her and he planned on showing her just how much. He kissed a fiery trail from her mouth, along her jaw and down her neck. She wrapped her right leg around his waist inviting him to touch her, to take her. When Jesse's fingers finally entered her core he couldn't believe how wet she was. He had hardly touched her. He rubbed circles on her clit and her forehead met his shoulder as his touch made her weak. He whispered in her ear, "baby, you're wet...so wet." She lifted her head to look him in the eye, hoping her kiss would tell him just how much she needed him in that moment. The kiss was searing, hard and filled with desire. He reached down to grab her other leg and wrap it around his waist before he took her hard and fast. There was no romance in the taking just pure want and desire but he'd make it up to her later. Right now was about filling their need to be with one another. As they rode the wave Beca collapsed against his body, if there was a way for two bodies to literally become one they had just found it. He tightened his hold on her before carrying her over to the bed and laying her down gently.
His hands and mouth quickly started roaming her body, setting her skin on fire again. There was no time for rest, he was ready for round two and there was no stopping him. They had a ten days to make up for and by the looks of it they were going to make up for all ten in very short order. She moaned as he sucked gently on one of her breasts, the fingers on his right hand pinching her left nipple while the fingers on his left hand found her clit again. He was multitasker and a damn good one at that. There was so much going on, her body was ablaze, she was over stimulated and she was finding it hard to catch her breath but she didn't dare tell him to stop because it felt too damn good. He began to kiss down her chest to her stomach, that's when he saw it. He paused as he ran his fingers over the skin of her hip bone. He looked at it carefully, kissing the healing skin then continued on to his desired target.
She moaned as his tongue danced along her folds. His mouth was magical. He gently nipped and sucked her clit causing her to moan and scream loudly, her legs shaking more and more with each wave. She was beginning to feel like she was pretty well spent but he wasn't anywhere near finished. He moved his way back up her body paying special attention to the skin on her right hip. He gently kissed it and ran his fingers over it before moving further. He sucked and nipped at each of her breasts, leaving a small mark on each. He kissed his way up her neck, along her jaw and back to her mouth. Her moans and cries were getting louder and he needed to quiet her. He kissed her gently, sweetly and she could taste herself which only served to turn her on more. As soon as she was quiet, he put their foreheads together and looked longingly into her eyes before thrusting into her, soliciting another loud moan. When she closed her eyes, he brushed his thumb along her cheek and said, "open your eyes baby...look at me." When she opened her eyes, he kissed her cheeks, mouth and the tip of her nose before saying, "I love you." He was showing her how much he missed her and how much she meant to him. Breathing was becoming a serious issue. "I... I love ... love you." She managed to get out before another wave hit her and she knew then that she was done she could literally feel her insides shaking. There was no way she could go another round, not right at the moment. Luckily, Jesse wasn't far behind her and as he collapsed next to her on the bed, he pulled her into his side. He kissed her on the top of her head and pulling the blankets up over them before falling into a deep sleep.
When Jesse woke, he pulled the blankets down to get another look at the healing skin on her right hip. It was a tattoo of an apple with a bite taken out of it, sitting cockeyed on top of the apple was a cowboy hat and a banner that wrapped around the apple that said, "Cowboy take me away". He wondered what it meant. He knew she'd tell him but he'd wait for her to wake up. As he looked up at her he realized she was awake and watching him.
"Hello gorgeous."
"Hi." she breathy.
"Sleep well?"
Taking a deep breath she said, "Mmm hmm. You?"
"Better than I have in the last ten days."
"I'm sorry."
"So...you gonna tell me what this is about?" he said pointing to the fresh tattoo.
"It's one of the things I had to take care of after Rae left."
"One of the things?"
"Yes...one."
"What else did you have to take care of?"
She sat up despite his protests and grabbed her guitar. Walking across the room she sat in the chair, guitar in her lap and began to play. The only thing covering her nude form was her guitar and her hair that was draped over her right shoulder. Laying on his right side, leaning up on his elbow he watched as she played.
"I said I wanna touch the earth
I wanna break it in my hands
I wanna grow something wild and unruly
I wanna sleep on the hard ground
In the comfort of your arms
On a pillow of bluebonnets
In a blanket made of stars
Oh it sounds good to me I said
Cowboy take me away
Fly this girl as high as you can
Into the wild blue
Set me free oh I pray
Closer to heaven above and
Closer to you closer to you
I wanna walk and not run
I wanna skip and not fall
I wanna look at the horizon
And not see a building standing tall
I wanna be the only one
For miles and miles
Except for maybe you
And your simple smile
Oh it sounds good to me
Yes it sounds so good to me
Cowboy take me away
Fly this girl as high as you can
Into the wild blue
Set me free oh I pray
Closer to heaven above and
Closer to you closer to you
I said I wanna touch the earth
I wanna break it in my hands
I wanna grow something wild and unruly
Oh it sounds so good to me
Cowboy take me away
Fly this girl as high as you can
Into the wild blue
Set me free oh I pray
Closer to heaven above and
Closer to you closer to you
Closer to you
Cowboy take me away.
Closer to you"
He got out of bed and walked toward her. Kneeling down he reached up to wipe the tears as they escaped her beautiful sapphire eyes. "Thank you. I love it. I love you." He said, kissing her gently. It was in those moments, as she sang the song she wrote for him, that he discovered the meaning of her tattoo. It meant that she had taken a bite of the big apple but most importantly it meant that she wanted him and only him. New York was no longer what she needed or wanted out of life. New York was but a brief memory of what might have been had her love affair with Jesse never happened.
A/N: "Cowboy Take Me Away" was written by Martie Seidel and Marcus Hummon and recorded and performed by The Dixie Chicks. For the sake of this story, I said that Beca wrote the song herself.