"Okay, I'm here and I've got chocolate, what's the emergency?"
Levi scrutinised Hanji through narrow, drowsy eyes before leaving the door open to stomp back to the sofa in his living room. Hanji huffed loudly before going in and closing the door behind them.
"My precious crab. You were fine and giddily drunk just yesterday and what's the problem now? Please don't tell me it's the Mr. Thirty blues again? I'm telling you, you don't even look a day older than twenty-fi—"
Hanji couldn't finish their word when a partially opened, nicely gift wrapped item was thrown on their face. They grumbled and threw the box of chocolate in return to Levi who skilfully grabbed it despite his obvious hangover and rotten mood.
"What's this?" Hanji asked as they ripped the colourful wrapping apart to take out what's inside which turned out to be…
"Yes! I knew someone else would finally realise how irresistible ugly Christmas sweaters are on you! Finally! The day when I meet a kindred soul. Who's this person? I should congratulate them! And I love it! I bet it'll look adorable on you…"
Levi angrily chewed the too-many pieces of chocolate he had stuffed in his mouth as he spoke so his voice was muffled beyond recognition. Hanji still heard the keyword loud and clear though:
"Eren."
"Eren bought you this?!"
Okay, why the fuck did I think asking Hanji to come over was a good idea when we already spent half the day yesterday together, shit. The goddamn banshee.
"Don't yell…" He whined – shit, I'm tired, "my migraine is banging me like a fuckton of bricks and… God!" He punched the sofa hard before lying down and curling into himself, barely occupying one half of the large furniture… "The fuck do I do?"
"What do you mean what do you do? Okay, firstly, you tell me what exactly happened…" He glared at them but they beamed happily, unperturbed, "and while you explain, I'll go brew you some camomile tea and get you some Advil as well?"
At the mention of tea, Levi felt like singing hymns to his unsavoury saviour but swallowed the urge to pander to Hanji's ecstasy and bribery, "mmm fine, whatever…" he mumbled instead with fake nonchalance; they were surely aware of the falsehood of his indifference because they snickered silently.
"So?" they shouted a few seconds later from the open kitchen area and Levi closed his ears with his hands.
"Volume control, Hanji, fuckin' volume control. My head is killing me…"
"Uh yeah, okay, so what happened?"
"Oh nothing! After over twelve hours of sleep, I woke up painfully sober, once again conscious of my ending career in mortality… I was being a miserable 'middle-aged' man by myself, wolfing down the left-over birthday cake for breakfast. Then the doorbell rang and I thought, 'fuck, what did the wacky weirdo forgot again' and yelled 'what the fuck you want' as I opened the door... Only to meet with Eren Fucking Jaeger, smiling timidly and handing me a gift with trembling, freezing hands before saying he's got to go and he just wanted the leave the shit because apparently he's going away to his sister or something for holidays. By the way who decided he gets a week of PTO?! It's been only a few months since he started the job…"
"First of all, it was you who approved his vacation when he said that his sister asked him to join her in Cali for the holidays. I was shocked too and admittedly you were high on caffeine – it was right after your overnight trip to Germany, I think you were really jet-lagged… I even remember you almost smiling. It was definitely weird."
"Fuck…"
"Did he actually call his own present 'shit' though?" Hanji asked incredulously as they returned and handed the cup of heavenly smelling tea and the two aquamarine capsules to Levi, who sat up a bit and took them carefully.
"No… He called it 'a little something for your Birthmas'. A little something. A fucking little fucking something, why the fuck would you fucking give a birthday or Christmas or fucking 'Birthmas' gift to your fucking ex who just happens to be your fucking boss now?!"
"Wow, say 'fuck' one more time and I think you'll beat your previous record."
Levi attempted his best at a murderous side-eye but in his frail and sulking state he knew that he merely looked pathetic than threatening. He huffed loudly from his nose, not unlike a spoiled sullen child much to his own dismay. Then he swallowed the pills and took a sip from his drink.
Mmm… Yes. Yes, this. I don't need a boyfriend. I don't need sex. I need tea. Tea is the fuc— the best... Oh fuck it, tea is the fucking best.
"Look," Hanji sat close, their arm dangling from the backrest of the sofa, "he wanted to give you a present, what's the big deal? Most people in the office give you little trinkets for your 'Birthmas'."
"Yeah and they do it in the office. He came to my home. I don't even know where the hell he got my address from…"
"Oh…"
"Oh? 'Oh'?! Hanji! I'm gonna drown you in this cup of tea, how can you pull such crap on me?"
"Don't blame me! It was weeks ago… I thought he needed to send something to you for work or something, you sometimes work from home and in between trips—"
"Don't lie to me. You're too much of a genius to assume such bullshit."
"Okay, fine, I thought maybe… That maybe he wanted to hit on you, send you flowers or something. He didn't seem like a creep either, so I thought it wouldn't be risky."
"Flowers? I'd—"
"Stab him with them. Or at least attempt to. Miraculously even manage it. Or at least threaten him with it. Probably just make him eat them? I don't know! Whatever, you evil dwarf! Don't you think you're being overly protective?"
"Overly protective of what?"
"Of yourself and him."
Levi sighed into his cup and took a big mouthful of the delicious liquid, unwilling to respond to the painfully truthful enquiry just yet. Hanji had dropped some rose petals to the cup which added a nice aroma that pacified his agitated nerves. He was secretly grateful for his friend's care but the meddling in his private life annoyed him. In fairness though, he was the one who let Hanji in on that aspect – literally invited and let them in; he wasn't sure if that was the best idea, but alas he had no other friend to discuss these kinds of matters with. Well, Erwin, maybe? Oh hell no, fuck, definitely not Erwin. He'd go all psychoanalytic on me. Nope, not discussing love or sex with Erwin ever again.
He closed his eyes and let himself be lulled by the enchanting scent of the tea, pushing away the awkward memories of that one time back in their undergrad years when he had opened up to Erwin. He concentrated on there and then and the clouds of disquiet that shaded and smothered his flimsy sprouts of hope.
"I just… I don't know. I don't know what he wants. This is…"
"Scary?"
Hanji's tone was soft, the questioning word uttered almost in a whisper, careful to not rouse Levi's defensive layer of denial. He did not reply and instead rested his head on the armrest of the sofa, half kneeling and half lying with the cup still in his hands. Nevertheless, the awkward position did not even occur to him as his mind erupted in memories of the past and possibilities of the future. He knew the answer to the query – Hanji obviously knew it as well. It was the said knowledge that brought forth a deluge of ideas and musings which swallowed his consciousness in whole and he lost himself in a daze of "if"s and "maybe"s. Relationships were difficult, especially so if you had not dabbled in them for a long time; remembrance of past failures, not only with others but specifically with Eren did not help flame any kind of optimism inside him. Still, the hope… it's one relentless bastard.
Hanji leaned in and gingerly took the half empty cup from him and placed it on the coffee table in front of the sofa before scooting closer to the smaller body of his friend and rubbing his nape and shoulders lovingly.
"You know… The fact that it was not the right time and place for you two then does not mean it will be so now. This… this thing is always scary no matter what. Moblit practically adores me and has endured my antics for over a decade and even I feel insecure or scared at times. It doesn't mean it's not worth it though. In fact, it just means it's likely worth it…"
Many silent seconds passed and Hanji seemed content with not receiving a response but inside Levi analysed each word again and again before, almost a whole two minutes later, he mumbled,
"You really… think so?"
"Yeah. And if it doesn't work out… Well, tough luck. I'll always be here for you my li'l Grumpy Bear."
Levi turned his face to stare at them and saw a kind smile on his friend's face; not the usual maniacal grin. He could not help but snort at the stupid nickname then.
.
.
.
.
.
"This was a bad idea."
"Eren… you already gave him the present."
"And I shouldn't have. Shit. Why did I?! Why did you not stop me?"
"Because you told me in advance to not stop you in case you got scared the last minute."
"Ugh…"
"Eren, for the love of God, you've been ruminating over this for three weeks since you bought the thing. It's already done. Just let it go… Focus on the fact that we might be late for our flight, maybe?"
"Don't even remind me that… Shit. Mikasa will kill us."
"Kill you. I'm not sacrificing myself because you could gain enough courage to give Levi his Christmas gift only at the last minute, the same day we're flying to LA!"
"So you'll just throw me under the bus? What a best friend you are Armin Arlert, I never knew."
"Survival trumps all, Eren. Survival trumps all."
After at most five seconds of silence, Eren couldn't help but once again break under anxiety and regret,
"You should've stopped me."
"Eren…"
"He hated it. God, he hates me. He glared at me so bad."
"From what I remember he glared to everyone, all the time."
"That's just how his face is… This was different than his normal glare. This was like for-real-glare. 'I'm pissed at you, you piece of shit' glare."
"Why would he be so angry for receiving a present?"
"I don't know! Maybe because he guessed it was a Christmas sweater…"
"Am I missing a point here? Surely it's not the most… exquisite gift but why would it miff him?"
"Well he hates Christmas sweaters."
"What? Why did you buy him one then?"
"Because they look so goddamn cute on him? They do, trust me, when we were together I once saw a photo of him wearing one and he was like a grumpy cat covered in festive cheer… It's just irresistible."
"I think you are doing this flirting thing wrong."
"I'm not flirting with him."
"Sure."
"No, seriously, I'm not."
"This… None of this makes sense."
"Okay, sure, he said multiple times that he hates them when I begged him to try one on, but he still had quite a few of them in his closet, so he must not despise them so much? And I mean… I saw the thing and I knew it would be amazing on him. I just… I just had to. Don't you ever get those moments? You see something and you know it would be the perfect match for a… Um…"
"For a… what? Boss? Ex-lover?"
"Ugh… Armin, do you have to make this so hard for me?"
"I'm not making it hard for you – you are making it hard for yourself. You were hitting on him."
"No, I was not. I was—shit. Was I? Does that count as…? Oh fuck, it does count as hitting on him, right? What did I do?! How will I face him when I'm back to work?"
"I cannot believe y—"
The shrill of Armin's mobile phone caught both their attention and they stared at the phone like an abomination, an omen of the End Times.
"It's Mikasa."
"I can see that from the Caller ID."
"Eren, take it."
"Why am I taking it? She's calling you!"
"I'm driving."
"You can talk from the speakerphone."
"Eren."
"I'm not—"
As soon as Armin's phone stopped ringing, Eren's started, much to his horror and Armin's almost automatic response by accelerating the car further. Eren gulped visibly and then took the call.
"Oh hey Mikasa, yeah we are on our way to the airport… Huh? No, no worries. We'll make it… Yeah… We were delayed because… Because there is a lot of snow."
Armin gave an accusatory glance against the feeble excuse, to which Eren silently mouthed "it is not a lie – there's snow" while pointing outside with his free hand, only for Armin to shake his head in disapproval as a response.
"Yeah don't worry Mikasa, we'll definitely—"
"Eren…" Armin's face paled and voice trembled with fear, "It seems there is an accident on the Main…"
"Fuck, are you kidding me?! Huh? No, no I wasn't talking to you Mikasa… Um, so, now hypothetically speaking if we indeed missed the flight…"