Hanji burst into his office only five minutes after his arrival.
"So, are you giving the cutie anything?"
"No."
"Leviiii…"
"No."
"You're serious about this?"
"Yes."
"So, what was in that black tote bag then?"
"What?"
"You thought I wouldn't notice if you hid it on your side? I'll admit my dear, you are too muscular for your petite size, but you're not thick enough to actually hide it with your body, y'know."
Damn. I should've taken the long route around Nanaba's office instead of walking in front of Hanji's. Shit. Don't they have myopia and astigmatism, how did they even… A fucking hawk when it comes to messing with me, I swear to god, a fucking hawk.
"Hanji."
"You bought him something."
How do they even know that it was something for Eren… Argh.
"I bought something. It does not mean I will be giving him a gift today."
At first, it seemed that Hanji was going to throw a fuss but then they narrowed their eyes and stared at his face for a few silent seconds only to burst into a giggling fit.
"What?!"
"Oh you'll be giving him that present alright."
"What the—"
Hanji winked mischievously and turned to leave.
"Oi! If you're planning anything, I swear to god—"
"Levi, Levi, Levi, I'm not gonna be doing aaaanything. You will be doing it all on your own."
"What?"
He was puzzled. Sure, he had bought the thing. Damn, he had even brought the thing to the office. But he was still uncertain if he wanted to give it to Eren. Why were they so sure of it?
"You just have the look you know."
"The look?"
"Yup."
"The look of what?"
Hanji gave him the once-over in response and then chuckled one last time before leaving, without any further explanation. It fumed him and he felt a dozen suspicions arise in the recesses of his mind. What the hell…
Despite the black bag sitting under his desk that made him feel slightly perturbed on a regular basis, the day passed by relatively problem free. He took more toilet breaks than usual but the multiple staring contests with the mirror in the restroom did not shed any light on 'the look' Hanji was talking about. He also took more tea breaks than usual, passing by Eren's cubicle on his way to the cafeteria, and stole (more) glances at Eren's desk which seemed to amass more and more trinkets and gift bags as the day went on. Around his fourth tea break, he even saw Jean leaving a humorous – a very offensively humorous – birthday card on the desk, seizing the opportunity that Eren was away.
Even the fucking horseshit. Great.
Now he was the odd man out. The surly manager who blatantly ignored the birthday of his very own subordinate, who was apparently the sweetheart of the whole goddamn office.
Levi collapsed on his chair, loud groans escaping him inadvertently, and wondered exactly what made him so insecure about the brat. He was not like this about anything or anyone else. Why was this… so scary. There I said. It's fucking scary. Shit. What the fuck is wrong with me? I've never been intimidated by anyone in my whole life and now—
His depressed eyes shot open in panic as he discerned the figure of Eren standing in the hallway, messenger bag over one shoulder, various gift bags in his hand, chatting idly with someone. He approached closer to the textured windows of his office and peered from the sliver of clear glass at the edges so that he could observe better. Eren was speaking with one of Hanji's interns. He was fully packed and with a quick glance at his watch Levi realised in horror that it was already afternoon. Surely Eren would not stay late on his birthday. Maybe in Valentine's but not on his fucking birthday. Obviously he has plans. An easily angered punk or not, Eren had always been overtly social – quite unlike Levi on that aspect – so he certainly had friends who wanted to celebrate this special day with him.
Shit.
Levi turned back to his desk in hurry and shut his mac's screen a little more harshly than he intended, quickly grabbed his own messenger bag and the black tote. He hurried outside his office and came to the sight of an empty hallway. Fuck.
He could not run. He never ran in the hallways. Doing it now would garner too much interest from his colleagues and he could not allow that. Hence, he only briskly walked, consoling himself with the knowledge that even if Eren had taller legs, his stamina still sucked – Levi fondly remembered that one time back in January when the elevators in the building were not working and Eren had to take the stairs like everyone else, moaning and breathing hot and heavy every time. Levi might have assigned more tasks for him that involved running around to different floors day. Might have. He snorted at the memory despite his carefully veiled rushing.
When he turned the corner towards the waiting area of the elevators, his fast pace instantaneously morphed into a normal one and he internally thanked to his strict workout routine for not breaking any sweat nor having his breathing tempo increased. Eren was there across the space, leaning his back onto the wall while waiting for any of the elevators to arrive. The moment he saw Levi, he smiled. Sincerely surprised and happy. The gesture tickled Levi's insides in a funny, pleasant manner.
The little shit and his fucking adorable smiles.
He put all his willpower into maintaining the neutral line of his lips, taking tight control of the reins to disallow any curvature up or down that could give Eren the wrong (or the right) idea. He nodded in acknowledgement instead and uttered the first icebreaker that came to him, without thinking:
"Leaving early today, I see…"
What an astounding conversation opener. Congra-fucking-tulations.
Eren's smile wavered a tiny bit for a single second but Levi was observing said young man too keenly to miss it and he recognised the reason of the tremor as Eren raised the gift bags hanging from one of his wrists;
"Yeah, it's my birthday today, so…"
Nice. Great job. Now he thinks you forgot his birthday. But isn't it better? Wouldn't it be weirder if he thought you remembered? But he did remember your birthday, asshole. But fuck, my birthday is on Christmas, how on earth could you even manage to forget that? Shit. Why does this brat throw me off so much? Look at him trying to keep his smile… Oh no, no, he is looking down. He is disappointed, isn't he? He's fucking disappointed that I don't 'remember'. Shit. What do I do? What do I say? He'll be the death of me… Eren fucking Jaeger will be the death of me, I swear to God.
His stoic expression stayed intact despite the turmoil of conflicting emotions that erupted inside him. One of the elevators rang like a hymn of salvation. Eren lifted his gaze and moved over to the metal doors sliding open, Levi following him. The elevator ride took exactly seventeen seconds. Levi counted each and every one as a distraction from Eren's broken smile and ruminating eyes and his own tragic incompetence in communication.
Why does he have to look so sad? He got presents and stuff from everyone in the office for fuck's sake. Why does it even matter if I give him some crap or not? I suck at gift giving anyway and he knows it.
Another ring and doors sliding open, they took their steps out and Eren's pace was slightly faster than usual, which Levi dejectedly realised to be a result of Eren's eagerness to leave his company behind. Then, the words broke free of his mouth without his better judgement or actual calculation; it was as if his soul's reflexes were triggered, a last attempt at salvaging the situation.
"I know."
Eren's quick steps halted and he turned, looking clueless and surprised and thus absolutely charming to Levi.
"What? Did you… did you say something to me?"
Did the brat really not hear it or is he faking it to hear it once again or maybe he heard but did not get it? Whatever. I already said it; once was humiliating enough, repeating it won't change that fact.
"I said 'I know'."
"You know what?"
"I know that it's your birthday today."
"Oh."
Silence. Okay what do I do now? What do you say? Uh… Oh. Of course, I guess?
"Happy Birthday?"
Perhaps he should have avoided using the questioning tone, regardless, after a second of bemused quiet, Eren laughed. He laughed. He laughed and a hundred different uplifting, joyful, inspiring images, scents, touches, and songs intertwined into the sound that Levi perceived. The sincere chortle of Eren Jaeger felt too good to fit into a single delightful analogy or sensation. It required dozens and dozens of them.
"Thank you, Levi." He said after finally letting go of the laughter that shook his body. Levi was almost sad not hearing the sweet sound anymore but the satisfied, gleeful smile that Eren's lips inherited was equally gratifying and stunning.
"No problem." Levi replied and it was probably an extremely awkward thing to say but he had always sucked at human interaction and Eren surely knew that fact – if not from before, from the many weeks they spent working together.
When they started walking again, side by side, Levi happily noted Eren's pace to have slowed down considerably. Then Eren's feet came to a complete stop right the moment they were out of the entrance, which earned a puzzled look from Levi.
It was raining. No surprise there; the weather report had said it would rain. Heavy showers were whipping the asphalt of the road and the cement blocks of the pavement with vigour. They were sheltered for the moment by the protruding small roof of the fancy entrance but Eren stood before him, gazing miserably at the downpour – visibly and sorely lacking an umbrella.
"You didn't bring an umbrella?" Levi asked as he casually took out a compact one from his messenger bag and opened it. He did not even walk or use the public transport, but the entrance to the underground garage he parked was two blocks away and he was readily equipped for the short walk, always.
"No…"
Levi snorted. Some things never change.
"Don't laugh."
"I'm not laughing."
"You snorted."
"Well, it is funny."
"Yeah, I'm an idiot right?"
"No but you are clumsy."
Eren peered at him with rather large eyes then smiled again. God fucking damn it, stop smiling so much; I'm too young to die from cardiac arrest and you're too old to beam nonstop like that.
"I use this app y'know? For weather. I actually check weather now, like every morning before I leave for work."
"Wow. How so grown-up of you."
Eren stuck his tongue out in response but quickly pulled the pink muscle back into his mouth upon realisation of his mistake; his cheeks immediately donned a shade of pink. Shit, he's so fucking cute. Does he have to be so fucking cute?!
"Yeah. Definitely grown-up of you."
"Uh, Levi… C'mon. I'm trying my best here."
Levi took a few steps forward away from the safety of the ornamental roof above them and turned to face Eren, his umbrella keeping him dry from the stubborn rain.
"So, why do you not have an umbrella with you then?"
"Well the app puts these really nice icons right? Like a tiny umbrella if it'll rain or glowing sun and whatnot. It's on my home screen too! So it's the first thing I see when I take a look at my phone. Pretty nifty."
Levi raised a haughty brow, though not bored with the pointless conversation they were having at all. Still, he was unsure where Eren was going with this.
"Turns out my wifi was down this morning… It was still showing sunny weather of yesterday. Didn't realise that till I arrived to the office."
Eren shook his shoulders in an "oh well whatever" sort of way and grinned goofily.
"You do realise that you're taking the bus, the stop is three blocks away, and you're gonna be drenched thanks to that and maybe even get ill and all the crap people gave you for your 'special day' will be ruined, right?"
"Levi, manners! They're not crap!"
He hugged the bags hanging from his hand as though they were his dear offspring and glared at Levi half seriously. Levi smirked at the cheeky sweet sight. Shit. Shit. Shit. Too cute for his own good, shit.
"Come on brat."
Levi lifted the umbrella higher – much higher than what was necessary to keep someone his size dry and hoped Eren would catch the implication. Eren did not.
"Um… come on what?"
He sighed.
"I'm offering you my umbrella."
"Oh you're gonna walk me to the bus stop?"
"Yeah so that you can stay dry for now but still be turned into a marine animal on your way home after you get off the bus."
"Ugh, yeah, true, I have to walk like four blocks to get home from the stop. Wait, what do you mean?"
"I mean I'll drop you off home."
"But I live on the east side of the University; you can't just walk there!"
"And that, genius, is why we contemporary humans use a vehicle called automobile."
Eren frowned for a second then smirked, "So you're offering me a ride?"
"If you don't get under this umbrella within the next five seconds, I'm not. My arm is killing me here."
Eren chuckled before hurrying towards him and under the umbrella.
"You're lying."
"Lying about what?"
"With the amount of muscle you pack, your arm will not be killing you just because you're holding an umbrella a little high."
"It is interesting that you notice my muscle structure but not my sarcasm, Eren."
The said young man flushed and timidly drove his eyes away, which Levi found unbearably alluring. Shit. Shit, indeed.
The walk to the car park was silent afterwards but it was not in any way uncomfortable. Quite the opposite. The sound of rain muted most other ugly noises of the city and let a nice smell permeate the streets that so often stank. As long as he could stay dry, Levi actually did not mind rain. Thus he let himself enjoy the short walk, Eren's warm body so close to his, their shoulders touching now and then, fresh scent of rain and the rhythm of Eren's soft breathing.
Even when they got to the car, apart from Eren telling Levi his address and rather loudly sniffing the inside of the vehicle, which caused Levi to huff smugly for he knew it was the ever present clean smell that attracted Eren's nose, they did not speak. The peaceful silence never disturbed Levi until they were halfway to their destination, when he came to the realisation that he really wanted to give the present he bought to Eren… but how? How do you exactly give a birthday present to your ex with whom you are not really friends but not really strangers either? Is there a specific protocol to this? Are there particular words I should be using? Or is there a rule that says you shall not give your past lovers gifts?
Oh fuck.
This would be all so easy if they were still friends. Why did he have to cut all contact with Eren back then? Though, something deep in his gut told him that otherwise it would be simply too hard. He had feelings for Eren, even when they had gone their separate ways – he could not deny that. But doubtlessly, it had not worked out. Maintaining contact would mean maintaining those lingering embers of attraction and intimacy and that would screw both their lives and happiness a lot. They would grow bitter about each other perhaps, which was something Levi had dearly wished not to happen. It did not happen at the end, but that was partly thanks to them knowing when to stop and to actually, fully stop. It had been a tough decision but one he never regretted.
But now…
He simply wondered how could things turn out if they had been only friends since the beginning. He simply wondered if things had changed enough for them to not fall into the same pits of doom. He simply wondered… how, just how the hell could he get rid of the sentimental shit in the black tote bag in a way that would allow the transfer of the aforementioned item to Eren's belonging without creating any uncomfortable tension between them.
Wow, that sounds hard.
And overly complicated.
It's a fucking snow globe, old man. Just a snow globe. You're not giving him a Rolex.
Unlike the first blissful half, the second half of their quiet journey to Eren's home was spent in mute agony for Levi. He overanalysed the situation and being aware of that fact did not prevent him from engaging in the said act. By the time they arrived, he was honestly tired. Absolutely frustrated. He could not wait for Eren to get out of his car so that he could drive back home, take a relaxing bath, brew a nice up of tea, and leave the unwarranted anxieties of this game of flirting – Is that it? Am I trying to flirt with Eren? – behind him.
Albeit the car having come to a stop a whole minute ago, Eren did not budge from his seat. The rain had slowed down considerably and they were literally four metres away from Eren's building. Was the brat that afraid of the trickling raindrops? Levi did not think so but he could not explain Eren's reluctance to leave either so he was about to offer lending his umbrella when Eren spoke.
"Thanks, for the ride, really, thank you. I actually got a cold like two weeks ago and I'd definitely catch it again if I got drenched. Plus I know the guys prepared me a surprise party at my place so coming in all wet and drained of energy would suck big time."
"No problem."
Eren smiled to him then. Even though there was no reason to smile at him. It was only a ride and Levi wanted to think that he would make the offer for any other teammate as well. And that any other respectful manager would do so too, for Eren. So why? Why is he smiling at me?! I'm a moody fucker who didn't even give him a birthday present for fuck's sake. Even Jean gave him something and I didn—
"Hey," he called in a heartbeat when Eren's hand moved to the door, his debilitating worries suddenly evaporated into thin air with the instinct to do something, anything before the other left. Eren looked back at him, obviously expectant despite himself – it was so clear on his face, he was full of anticipation, God, why is he so transparent all the time? It makes ignoring him so fucking hard. I just can't.
"I," Levi tried but he was not sure how to continue. "I got you something"? "I got you a present"? Eren's increasingly confused yet hopeful eyes were not helping. Shit.
He sighed, deciding that he did not really need to say something, after all, and reached to the backseat, grabbing the black tote, carefully extracting the tastefully gift wrapped item inside and then offering it to Eren without a single word.
Eren gasped.
God, he is cute. A huge fucking dork but cute.
He took the gift almost hesitantly but his gaze conveyed the buzz he was feeling perfectly well. He tried to open it gingerly at first but after about five seconds, he impatiently ripped it apart which led to Levi breathing an amused puff. Once the shining snow globe was out of its golden cocoon of decorative paper, Eren gasped again.
"Levi…"
It was said in a whisper and sent a chill down to each and every bone in Levi's body. Eren could be loud when happy but in moments of true joy or affection, he would grow silent and… and give these tender smiles which would be reflected in his eyes wonderfully – exactly what he was doing right at that moment. Levi felt his breath hitch at the sight; just how could Eren become so fulfilled and delighted by only a snow globe? In that moment Levi fondly (and fearfully) realised that probably a Rolex wouldn't make Eren as happy as this considerably less expensive item did.
Oh God, what am I doing… Why am I giving him… this…
"Thank you," Eren said, without tearing his content gaze away and Levi felt himself drown in that gaze, in those bright orbs of swirling green and blue, hope and mirth, grace and dare – he could not stop staring back, captivated in that maelstrom and the only conscious thought that could survive in his mind was the desire to kiss Eren. Kiss those merrily curved up lips. Kiss those happily crinkled corners of his eyes. Kiss that relaxed patch of skin between his thick eyebrows. Kiss that tiny old scar still marring his otherwise flawless chin. Kiss him. Just kiss him.
He could not.
He swallowed harshly and suddenly in pain despite the serenity Eren was still beaming over him. He took a moment to calm himself down and smiled back in return; a much smaller one, a much more guarded one – it caused a flash of elation in Eren's eyes regardless and he felt a bit guilty for not smiling more for Eren, if it would indeed make the brunet so obviously happy.
"No problem."
Eren chuckled silently and nodded before clumsily wrapping the snow globe once more and then slipping it into one of the gift bags he was already holding on his lap.
"Drive safely on your way back, Levi."
Levi hummed affirmatively, feeling too many emotions at once and a little out of it for actual words or comebacks. Then he watched Eren. He watched as Eren got out of the car. He watched as Eren dashed towards the building. He watched as Eren took a glance back at the car and smiled once more and held up a hand and waved – waved at him. Then he watched as Eren entered the building and disappeared from his sight.
The tense muscles of his shoulders relaxed but the cramps in his stomach only got worse.
Fuck. I'm so fucked.