A/N: ~Happy New Year!~
~May 2015 bring health, happiness and good fortune to all of you. Make it count!~
~New Year, New Chapter...On with the show!~
WARNING: Do not read with a full bladder. I can't and won't be held responsible for pee soaked and stained items. LOL ;)
Just as expected, Judge Arceneaux convicted the three losers that burned down the Toussaint Plantation as harshly as the law would allow him to. The lead perpetrator, Elias Babineaux, was sentenced to 60 years hard labor without the possibility of parole. His anger and need for revenge would ultimately be the reason he would die behind bars.
For his part in the fire, Robert Aucoin was sentenced to 40 years in prison. He would be eligible for parole after 25 years. As for Pierre Dugas, he was granted a bit of leniency for his cooperation during the investigation and for his testimony against the others. It was explained that that while his testimony was appreciated, he could have come forth at any time but chose to remain silent. It was his silence that warranted a 25 year sentence. He wouldn't be eligible for parole until he served at least 20 years.
The three men were also ordered to pay restitution to the Toussaint family for the damage and loss of their family plantation home. While nothing could ever bring Shelby and Chloe back to them at least they could begin to rebuild their home and look forward to the future instead of having the charred remains serve as a constant visual to all that they lost.
With the trial behind them, it was now time to focus on the wedding; the day serving as the start of their new lives.
It wasn't long before Lucy sent out the 'Save the Date' announcements to anyone and everyone they knew. She largely ignored Beca's request for no "fuddy duddy's" at her wedding and invited everyone from the local librarian as she had a deep rooted connection to someone who once knew a man who had run for Congress to the Mayor as she played bridge with his wife's second cousins next door neighbor.
SAVE the DATE.…
Stop what you're doing and write this down
because in just a short while, wedding bells will sound!
It's taken some time to get things in place.
Finding the right colors and the perfect space.
Home is where our hearts are and home is where it'll be.
Make sure you're there to witness and see
alluring love, splendid style, rustic charm and absolute grace.
We've set the date, so get excited.
Grab your camera 'cause you're invited,
to our joyous celebration that's sure to be a blast
so get ready to shake your tiny little …
Hugs and kisses,
dancing shoes and lots of booze
we want to see you bust some moves.
So November 29th, please hurry up already
'cause Beca and Jesse can't wait to be married.
Lucy hated the announcements as much as she hated the wedding invitations and anything else that bore a peacock feather on it. The idea of using peacock feathers for the wedding had made Lucy cringe. She thought that it was hideous and so unbecoming for a girl of Beca's status in the community. The more Beca planned, annoying her mother was only partly unintentional, the more Lucy drank. She kept a bottle behind the crystal glasses in the family room, purely for medicinal purposes as Nora had found the short bottle of whiskey she had hidden in the laundry room. But the more Lucy drank the more Tripp got to help her relieve her stress, which he was totally in favor of.
Tripp was enjoying the fact that he and Lucy were becoming closer; the stresses and strains of the last few months ebbing away as the days and nights passed. It wouldn't be long before Beca was Jesse's wife and living in their own home. Their big house would be a lot quieter and a lot less full very soon. Not that Beca was a noisemaker, because she wasn't. She was a pleasure to have around when vulgarities weren't falling from her lips.
Beca's Bridal Shower
The day Lucy had been waiting for was here. She had meticulously planned the picture perfect bridal shower for Beca and since Tripp managed to talk the contractor into finishing the wedding venue on time; the extra bonus slipped into his back pocket well worth it, she was able to plan to have the shower in Beca's favorite spot, a sweet touch that hadn't gone unnoticed by the bride to be. She took the time to select the perfect hors d'oeuvres, pasta dishes and wine. For those who didn't want to drink, she took special care to pick a couple of different teas as well as sparkling and flavored waters.
Lucy chose not to stick with Beca's color scheme instead choosing to go with Tiffany blue and champagne because it would be classier. She picked out the most beautiful floral arrangements, linens and china for the event. This was a fancy affair; with starched waiters serving from silver platters and prim and delicately folded napkins holding ornately decorated name tags, it was the exact opposite of everything that Beca wanted.
Lucy spoke to Tripp, Charlie, Jesse and Jamie a few days before the shower and asked them to help the guests park the vehicles when they arrived before escorting them down to the venue. Since Tripp was determined to make this a day to remember, and not wanting or needing to spare any expense when it came to his first born, he purchased horse draw carriages to be used to take the guests down to the lake. This was a Sunday afternoon affair that was sure to be the talk of the town, Lucy was convinced of that.
Lucy worked with the staff on the finishing touches while Beca, Rae and Amy were in her room getting dressed and ready to go.
Beca wore a three quarter length sleeved black and white chevron print shift dress with a round neck that showed her ample cleavage while keeping respectable control of the girls at the same time. She accessorized with chunky red jewelry, belt and a pair of pointy toed red heels. She even let Rae give her a mani/pedi with the understanding that she wouldn't paint her nails "whore red". Rae laughed and agreed that an American manicure was probably the better choice.
"Well, what do y'all think?" Beca asked as she walked out of the ensuite bathroom and into her bedroom.
"Whoa Beca!" Amy said. "Lil Momma, you look hot! Like totally beer commercial hot!"
Beca blushed. She didn't see herself as 'beer commercial hot'... approachable hot yes, beer commercial hot... definitely not but she did love a challenge. "Thanks but I don't think my mother will approve."
"Screw Mom! You look fabulous!" Rae chimed in, nodding approvingly.
"Are you sure? I could change into something else."
Amy cleared her throat, "If you change I'll kick your skinny ass clear into next week."
"Thanks but my 'skinny ass' would like to just make it through today without killing my mom or one of her goodie two shoes friends." Beca said, beckoning the two out of her room.
Rae laughed. "Well, Amy has some fun games planned so that we don't all die of boredom."
"Lovely... now I'm scared to death." Beca said as they walked down the stairs.
As Beca walked out onto the porch, Jesse met her with hugs and kisses as well as his smiling, happy face.
"Wow! You look amazing!" he told her as he breathed in her familiar scent.
"Thanks. You don't think it's too much?"
"Not at all." he said kissing her cheek.
In that moment, she wanted more than anything to run back upstairs, change clothes, saddle up the horses and take off with Jesse but she also knew that the people in hell wanted ice water just as badly. So, she decided to humor her mother rather than missing the festivities especially since she didn't want to be skinned alive for being a no show at her own bridal shower.
Amy handed Jesse a box and asked him to load it into the carriage. "What's in the box?" he asked Amy as he placed it on to the back running board.
"Party games and props." she responded as she took her seat next to Rae and gave her an overly exaggerated wink.
"Now, I'm officially scared to death." Beca said as Jesse held her hand and helped her into the carriage. Jesse laughed and gave her a quick kiss before he took his spot to drive the carriage down to the shower; a ride that Beca wished was longer to prolong the arduous afternoon her mother had prepared.
When Beca and the girls joined everyone else at the shower, they were greeted by a member of the wait staff and each handed a mimosa and offered hors d'oeuvres. Even though the mimosas only contained champagne, Beca sudden thought that maybe the shower would be so bad after all. She was still glad she had brought the flask of whiskey that was hidden away in her purse, along with the compact and lip gloss that Rae insisted she bring.
Beca listened to her mother's friends as they congratulated her on her engagement and complimented Lucy about how wonderful everything looked. Of course everything was perfect, Lucy Robicheaux always planned picture perfect events, anything less would have been devastating.
Each of the round tables had beautiful floral center pieces that were surrounded by beautifully decorate candles and framed photos of Beca and Jesse that were taken throughout their childhood up to the present. There were also collages of Robicheaux and Toussaint family photos and of course, Beca and Jesse's engagement photos.
A major bone of contention when preparing and planning the shower was the shower favors. Lucy wanted to give each guest an engraved silver spoon because apparently all of the ladies she played bridge with collected silver spoons. Beca on the other hand, wanted something simple and understated. As she had done so many times before, she went to her Pinterest board and began pinning ideas. She decided on mason jars full of her favorite candy. So, of course, World War III all but broke out over it. In the end, Beca won the favor war. Lucy gave in since Beca agreed to let her "pimp the rest of party" however she wanted to.
On each place setting was a mason jar filled with Tiffany Blue and white custom M&M's. The M&M's had special messages such as "Beca said YES!" "Lucky Girl!" "Lucky Guy!" "Beca loves Jesse!" Some of the M&M's just had pictures of an engagement ring, wedding rings and horse shoes. On the lid of the jar was a Tiffany Blue and white fleur de lis print label that said "Beca's Bridal Shower". The final touch were the ribbons that tied the "Thank You for coming." tag to the jar.
Not long after everyone had finished lunch, Amy stood up as she tapped on the side of a champagne flute to get everyone's attention. "Good afternoon everyone! Mrs. Lucy asked me to be in charge of the games for today. I've come up with a couple that I think will not only keep everyone's attention but will liven up the place."
Beca shook her head but inwardly smirked. She had a feeling that whatever Amy had planned was sure to push Lucy right over the edge.
"The first game we're going to play is 'Pin the Macho on the Groom'." Beca watched in horror as Amy pulled a sheet off of a life size cardboard cutout of 'Jesse'. Lucy gasped. She was absolutely appalled. This was not the type of game that she asked Amy to organize.
"Where did she get that?" Beca asked Rae under her breath.
"Get what?"
"The cutout."
"Oh, we were at the mall and they were going to throw the Calvin Klein cutout away, so Amy asked if we could have it. When we got home, I found your favorite photo of Jesse, made a copy of it then we taped it on the model's face and voila… Jesse!"
"Oh my God! Remind me never to leave your two unattended again."
"Look! Amy even drew Jesse's tattoos!" Rae said excitedly. "Wait until you see what Amy has planned for the next game!"
"Swell." Beca said as she guzzled an entire mimosa straight down then motioned for the waiter to bring her another. When the waiter came to the table, Beca took a mimosa in each hand, promptly drinking both down before grabbing two more. She was definitely going to need more alcohol to get through the day.
By the time the game was over, cutout Jesse had laminated penises everywhere from his nipples down. And while Beca originally thought the game was silly, everyone genuinely seemed to enjoy it and the party seemed to liven up, with extremely relaxed guests talking to each other candidly.
After the game, Lucy decided it was time for Beca to unwrap her gifts. Beca and Rae sat in the two wingback chairs that were placed in front of the roaring fireplace. There was a huge pile of gifts to Beca's left that she had to unwrap. She received everything from wine glasses and punch bowls to utensils and monogrammed towels.
When she got to the last gifts and realized they were from Amy she was scared to open them for fear of what was inside. Turns out she had the right to be scared, Amy had hidden "hardware", "lube" and "toys" inside of a crockpot, rolled up in monogrammed tea towels and in a bag filled with lingerie.
"Dicklicious?!" Beca questioned Amy under her breath as she held the tube in her hand trying to shield it from her mother's bridge club ladies.
Amy winked, "Makes penises taste like red hots."
"Gross!"
"I thought you might say that so I got watermelon flavored too."
"Amy!"
Amy giggled. "The watermelon tastes like Jolly Ranchers. Mr. Man Candy will love it and you won't feel like you want to gag when the seed of life is spewed about your oral cavity."
"Jesus Amy, keep it down!" Beca hissed, feeling her face flush as the preacher's wife started paying extra attention to what was going on.
"Yep! Makes it easier to do that too." Amy winked.
"You're nasty. Just hide this stuff before my mother sees it and goes into cardiac arrest!"
"Aww… Lucy with the vapors is pretty damn funny."
"Amy!" Beca said through clenched teeth.
"Ok, ok… are you ready for the next game?"
"You're kidding? There's another game?"
"Attention everyone!" Amy called out before turning to wink at Rae. "We have one more game to play."
"Amy, why does my sister have a box with plungers and toilet paper?"
"Shh! You'll find out in a minute."
"Dear God... help us!" Beca said as she looked up toward the heavens.
Amy clapped her hands to get everyone's attention. "Everyone please look under your chair. If you have a star then you need to meet me on the lawn."
Everyone began looking under their chairs. Beca laughed when she saw that her mother had a star under her chair and knew that Amy did it on purpose. After everyone with stars was standing next to Amy, she began giving the instructions.
"Listen up people!" Amy bellowed. "On your star you'll see the a red dot or a blue dot, that will determine which team you're on. Each team will be given one box, one plunger and 8 rolls of toilet paper. Now partner up with someone on your team. Partners will stand on opposite sides, the plunger will be placed between the legs of one partner with the stick end pointing outward, while the other partner places the toilet paper between their legs. The object is to place the stick inside the toilet paper roll without using any hands, then walk back and drop the toilet paper roll into your box. The plunger will then be passed off to the next person on your team and so on. Neither player can touch the toilet paper or the plunger, except to place it between their legs. If the player drops the plunger they must go back to their starting point and try again. A dropped roll of toilet paper may not be picked up except by the paper holder. If the roll of toilet paper falls off the plunger or misses the box it must be left and the plunger person must go back for another roll. The team that successfully collects the most rolls of toilet paper in their box is the winner."
"Amy! You've got to be kidding... right?" Lucy asked her with a scowl on her face.
"No ma'am. You asked me to plan games, this is what I have planned."
"Please tell me the plungers are brand new and have never seen the inside of a toilet bowl." Lucy questioned.
"You know that each plunger has to be tested for quality control before it can be sold." Amy said very matter of fact. "What good is a plunger if it can't penetrate a wet bunged up hole?"
Frustrated, Lucy smacked herself in the forehead. Why had she asked Amy of all people to organize the games? Surely, Rae or one of the ladies she played bridge with would have been the better choice. Clearly, she was drunk when she made the decision.
Beca and Rae laughed at the expression on their mothers' face. Rae reached into her pocket for her phone to take a couple of pictures because no one would believe her without evidence. Lucy was absolutely mortified as she placed the plunger between her legs to practice her technique. She couldn't imagine what Bernadette from her knitting circle would be thinking about this. She gulped down her true thoughts to save face and not look like a party pooper in front of everyone and mentally calculated how many letters she would have to write to apologize for her daughters' friend and her antics.
While Rae took pictures, Beca texted her dad. "You gotta get down here now. You'll never believe what Mom's doing!"
"No, thanks. If I go down there your mother will rip my balls off and feed them to me. Take a video for prosperity!"
"Ewe Dad! You're gross! But we'll definitely take a video!"
Lucy looked around and saw her daughters laughing at her and nodded to the waiter to bring her over a mimosa. She was just about to take a second drink when she caught sight of M'Lynn and Bernadette giggling and swinging their hips as they placed their plungers between their legs. Lucy wasn't quite sure what to make of the usually overly prim and proper ladies who read the scriptures at Church currently battling each other with plunger handles. Lucy began to wonder just how strong the mimosa's were.
"You all right there Mrs. Lucy?" Amy asked as she took in Lucy's surprised face.
"I am Amy, thank you. I just want this over."
"There's a pretty sweet prize for the winning team." Amy winked. "And you never know, you might learn a few tricks for Mr. Tripp."
"A sweet prize, huh?" Lucy winked and was suddenly ready to give the game all she had at the mention of the word prize. No one could say that Lucy Robicheaux wasn't keen and competitive when there were prizes involved. "Any other clues?"
"Nope, that's all you're getting."
"Well then, that's all I need." Lucy said proudly as she turned her back and lifted her skirt, wrapping it neatly around her legs to make it look like shorts. "These kids think they're so damn smart." she mumbled to herself as she pulled the flask that was tucked neatly into her thigh high. She took a big swig and capped the flask as she wiped the back her hand across her mouth. She replaced the flask back in its hiding spot. "I'll show 'em."
"Ladies! Places please!" Amy yelled over the hen house of cackling women.
With one enthusiastic blow of Amy's college issued rape whistle, the game started. Finding it hard to race across the yard, the women were falling down in fits of laughter as they watched each other wince and waddle while trying to maintain some semblance of dignity and poise. But what was funnier, was seeing the tipsy women try to put the plunger handle through the roll of toilet paper and still look somewhat ladylike. With the mimosa's having had the desired effect, even the most agile of guests were struggling to get it right the first time.
Lucy was the last one for her team. "Ladies, this is how it's done." she said as she hiked up her skirt one more time and shoved the plunger between her thighs. She waddled pigeon toed across to meet M'Lynn who covered her lady parts with her hands for fear of being impaled with the handle of the plunger. It took Lucy three tries to put the handle through the toilet paper roll but when she finally did she threw her hands in the air, got a proud look on her face and said, "Boom bitches!" before turning around and facing her team.
Rae looked at Beca and asked, "Did Mom really just say 'boom bitches'?"
"Uhh, yeah she did." Beca said sounding shocked. "I think being around Amy has had an effect on her."
"The ol' Amy Southern charm huh!" Rae laughed as both girls watched their mother at the finish line, raising her plunger in the air like she'd found the last available turkey for Thanksgiving.
The winning team was high fiving like a bunch of high schoolers. "So Amy, what's this 'sweet prize' you were telling me about earlier?"
"Rae, can you hand me the prize basket?" Amy asked with a wink.
Beca stepped between Rae and Amy as the cloth covered basket was passed between them, "Let me see what's in the basket."
"Should we show her?" Rae asked Amy.
Amy laughed, "Sure, she'll know in a minute anyway."
Beca lifted the towel that was covering the basket, peered in and immediately busted out laughing. She should have known Amy would get raunchy prizes like this. She knew she was going to love seeing the reaction to these prizes!
"Ok ladies, gather 'round. Everyone is going to get a prize but the winning team will get a little something extra."
Rae began handing out the prizes to everyone and Beca enjoyed hearing the titters of laughter as they unwrapped their reward. Lucy was craning her neck, trying to see what was so funny when Beca stood in front of her, casually putting her hand on her hip and cocking her head to one side; she was desperately trying to keep a straight face, a look her mother interpreted as irritation.
Instead, Beca surprised her mother by leaning in and kissing her warmly on the cheek before whispering, "I saw the flask of whiskey you're hiding on the inside of your thigh. And if you don't want me announcing that my mother is a secret lush in the next church bulletin or telling Mrs. Connie from your book club that you've read the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy... and enjoyed it, I suggest you follow my instructions and close your eyes."
"Beca!"
"Eyes closed." Beca said and inwardly laughed as Lucy did as she was told. Beca made a mental note to use her mother's secret flask to her advantage if she needed to get her way with anything else having to do with her wedding.
Lucy gasped. She didn't think anyone had seen her. She opened her mouth to speak and Beca promptly filled the gaping hole in her mother's mouth with the eight inch sucker.
"Suck it Mom." Beca said giggling. "Hard!"
In an effort to save face, Lucy did as she was instructed. It was round and veiny and when she did as she was instructed by her eldest daughter and sucked it, she was rewarded with a mouth full of creamy liquid candy that tasted like vanilla bean. When she opened her eyes to see what on Earth was in her mouth and what she'd just swallowed, she realized she was sucking on an eight inch penis lollipop.
Beca winked and whispered, "Having fun yet?"
Lucy licked her lips, "It's nice and creamy, the vanilla bean flavoring is rich and silky smooth but it's not nearly as nice as your fathers." she whispered back, the combination of mimosa and whiskey making her braver than she would usually be. She loved the look on Beca's face; delighting in shocking her daughter with her comeback.
Meanwhile, the rest of the ladies were all comparing their penis pops. They were different colors, flavors and sizes. They noticed that all of the pops were circumcised until Grace made an announcement. "Mine isn't circumcised… I have a tip more candy than the rest of you." She said before keeling over with laughter.
"Mine is purplish and looks... well it looks bruised... or over used?" Margo from the bank commented as she held it aloft for the other ladies to see.
"What about mine? The thing is limp and leaking from the tip." Beca's cousin Jenny said, showing the green and slightly sickly looking penis to her aunt who recoiled and wondered how the 24 year old would know about something like that.
"Who got a mold of Luke Babineaux's junk?" Amy said watching as Beca threw her head back and roared with laughter.
"Mold is definitely the right word!" Beca giggled, thoroughly enjoying her mother opening and closing her mouth like a fish at her group of friends acceptance of Amy's prizes. "Oh no, wait, look at Miss Sally's, that's more like Luke's. It's under cooked and looks like a limp noodle."
The group of ladies turned to look at the Doctor's receptionist as she held hers quietly in her lap watching as it bent over in the middle and touched her knee. Rae felt a twinge of pride as she watched her sister take everything that was happening around her in good humor.
"The color hasn't been mixed properly on mine." Francesca, the local Kindergarten teacher said, inspecting her penis pop so intently she needed to place her glasses back on her nose to see it better. "Sorry thing looks like it's had some chafing to the base of it's shaft."
"Oh that's okay ma'am. Yours will have extra cream in the balls to help out with that." Amy said before they both collapsed in fits of laughter.
"AMY!" Lucy called out. "Do you have to be so crude?"
Without missing a beat, Lucy's friend Cindy told everyone, "Look! Mine has blue balls! Aww, the poor thing! Let me see if I can do something about it." She popped her penis pop into her mouth and sucked hard which had all the women holding their sides from laughing so hard.
Taking the candy theme even further, Amy started passing around sachet bags filled with pop rocks and M&M flavored condoms cleverly wrapped in shiny paper with the quote, "Melts in your mouth not in your hand."
"Thank you Amy dear." Vivian, Lucy's ninety three year great aunt, said accepting the small package pressed into her hand. She looked at the little blue tag, tied neatly with white ribbon, and muttered. "Oh dear, the youth of today have no place in their learning for spelling."
"What are you talking about?" Margo asked her.
"Look Margo..." She said, nudging her friend. "... the little tag says 'Thanks for cumming'."
"Maybe it has something to do with that texting thing the kids are doing nowadays."
"So glad I bought that book about Kamasutra last week. Between that and this penis pop, Bob and I are gonna have one freaky night." Karla announced proudly.
"Oh my gosh! What is that?" Rae asked Beca.
"What is what?"
"Kama... kama... never mind, I'll Google it?" Rae asked whipping out her phone and flicking through a couple of web pages. She began to laugh. "Oh my gosh! That looks painful!"
Beca and Amy fell out laughing. They had no idea what picture Rae had just Googled but they were sure that whatever it was it was wrong.
"Wait, my High School Principal is making shapes like that! Eww, that would explain why he is so much more mellow on a Monday! Gross."
"And that's why you shouldn't Google stuff." Beca said, trying to snatch Rae's phone from her. "Don't look at anything else!"
"That's medical marijuana! Dude, that looks like the plant in Principal Thibault's office. Perhaps he's really heightening his experience."
The three girls continued to laugh as the joyful shrieks of the ladies filled the chilly afternoon down by the lake. To Lucy's shock and delight, everyone seemed to really be enjoying their prizes and by the looks of things, there was going to be a lot of smiling, happy men in Natchitoches that evening.
Beca and Amy soon heard the guys coming down the gravel pathway to escort the ladies back to the main house. Lucy stood, wobbling slightly, and spoke warmly to the group.
"Ladies, when you have all finished playing with your penises… your escorts are here to take you back to your vehicles. If you would all like to form a line under the oak tree for shade, the boys will see you back to your cars safely."
The ladies began gathering their things and continued chatting among themselves. As they walked off talking happily with each other, thanking Lucy profusely and saying that that was one of the best afternoons they'd had in a long time, Lucy smiled. She had pulled it off. The perfect bridal shower for Beca filled with good food, family, friends and fun.
Lucy was gratuitous to make a mental note to send a thank you card to Amy for the shower games as they had certainly broken the ice for the afternoon.
A/N: This chapter is dedicated to Corinne (waatp). xx
"Faith allows things to happen. It is the power that comes from a fearless heart. And when a fearless heart believes, miracles happen." ~Unknown~
You my dear sweet, loving friend are indeed a miracle so I wish the following things for you as you recover:
FAITH to light the darkened sky,
STRENGTH to carry on,
LOVE to touch and heal your soul,
HOPE to grace the dawn.