Nico

It had not been the best time to forget that there were other people on The Argo II. Once my crying had started to die down and I was just sitting shaking, head throbbing, I heard shuffles and whispers outside the spare cabin I was in. There was a light rap on the door.

"Nico, are you alright?" asks a rich yet gentle voice, which I recognised as Hazel's.

Ah. They heard everything.

"Are we allowed in?" she asked again. I could see the door handle slowly start turning and my panic level escalated.

"No!" I shouted. I regretted it afterwards.

"See, he is in there!" Coach Hedge said from behind the door.

"I never said he wasn't, I just said there was no reason why it couldn't have been an enraged banshee. It was a possibility," replies Leo.

"Why?" she screamed like a banshee.

My heart pounds and every beat is painful. Its sudden quickening is laborious. Anxiety grips and infects my chest and I can't keep up my need for oxygen with my breathing. I'm shaking more and bite back a sob.

No, they can't see me have a panic attack, they can't.

I see scenes of the dream. They are flashing and tormenting and burning themselves into my mind, provoking me to dig my nails into my forehead and lean over, eyes squeezed shut. I'm breathing heavily and rapidly, tears falling down my face again.

"Shhh!" Jason scalds Hedge and Leo. "Nico, it's me Jason. Do you want me to come in? Just me, everyone else will stay outside."

"Why would he want that?" asks Percy, baffled.

"Well-" Jason begins

"Let me try, I'm practically his brother," Percy buts in. I hear him pushing through to the front of the crowd of demigods.

"Nico, what's up? We heard a scream and got a bit worried. We also thought we heard a bit of crying. We just want to know if you are okay…" There was a pause. "Hey, if it was a nightmare, then I understand. I mean, who here hasn't has a demigod dream that made you wake up screaming?"

"I haven't-" Coach Hedge began but was cut off by an urgent chorus of "Shhhh" and "Shut up!".

"I mean," Percy continued "I remember an awful nightmare I once had. Terrible. Couldn't imagine one worse. I woke up howling like the apocalypse had come. It was where one day all my hair fell out and Annabeth had extra. She was Bigfoot and I was a baby rat. Kept me traumatised for weeks,"

Oh Percy…

You love my killer, Nico.

I rock back and forth, groaning, as if I do so hard enough I will hurl out of existence. I dig my fist into my chest like I want to crush my heart. I probably do. I can't help it and I cry out.

I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die.

When I think of being released a surreal calm washes through me but vanishes as soon as I remember that what is really on the other side is a different type of torture. I am trapped. The panic and pain rushes back with a vengeance. I breathe in but I can't breathe out and my eyes widen as I realise that my lungs have reached their limit. I fall onto my side and start gasping like a stupid dying fish. All the while Bianca's pain and hatred is boring into me and making my chest tighten and throat constrict.

Piper's voice rings through the hell.

"I'll use my charm speak! Allow us in, Nico Di Angelo!"

Leo giggles.

"You sound like an angry Mum,"

It has no effect, my mind is too deranged and scattered and even if it had I wouldn't be able to reach the door anyway. I feel darkness edge around my vision. I had never thought I'd have lack of oxygen or lack of exhaling it. I always assumed that if it came to that I would be drowning and Percy would save me.

Jason's voice blares through the group.

"I think I can hear him! We are going in, no waiting for permission,"

"Wait!" Annabeth says.

Now I feel less guilty about wanting to dislike her.

"It could be a trap, he could be being held hostage. Frank, go in first undercover to see and I promise you then we will go in,"

"Held hostage?" Jason asks, frustrated and incredulous.

"Do what she says," commands Percy.

"You want me to go undercover?" Frank says in surprise. "How?"

There's silence, probably Annabeth giving one of her looks.

"Oh,"

I can't really think now, my head feels heavy yet light at the same time. I can't even acknowledge to try and stop breathing at such a rate, it's an attack I can't fight. All I can feel is pure panic like it is part of me and can never be removed.

A fly crawls into my vision. It starts buzzing and suddenly it is growing larger and into a person and into…

Frank.

He looks at me in horror.

"Oh my gods come in here!"

The door bursts open and the heroes flood in.

Alec

I look out into the night with sad eyes. The night air is chilly, but it's refreshing. It is much better than sweaty hot duvet covers. I walk down the streets of New York. There are not many people walking by. What time is it anyway? I have no idea. I walk through a breeze. Goosebumps appear on my neck. Why didn't I bring my scarf?

Oh, yeah.

Magnus bought it for me.

"Just focus on why you came out here, Alec," I mutter and then scald myself for speaking out loud again- I really need to break the habit or Jace will never let me be.

I find that I have stopped outside a block of apartments. I look up and see it's Magnus'.

Bloody subconscious.

I stand there for a few moments.

Why aren't you moving? You know you can't visit, you're his ex-boyfriend. You've broken up, Alec. Broken up.

Yet I still stand there.

I shake my head in annoyance and turn away, bumping right into Jace.

"Woah, what the heck!?" I shout. "What," I begin "are you doing here?"

"What," Jace repeats "Are you doing here?"

"Stop answering questions with questions,"

"Stop stalking your ex-boyfriend," Jace replies. "I knew about your obsession with calling and texting him but this has gone too far."

Anger boils up inside me.

"I'm stalking? You are the one stalking me!"

"Alec," his voice and eyes soften. "I'm just looking out for you. Getting up going places in the middle of the night just for the sake of it isn't normal,"

"I'm fine!" I reply.

"Exactly!" Jace walk past me towards the door of the building. "That's how I knew that consciously or not you were going out for a reason. That reason- Magnus," He has his hand on the door handle. "Speak to him,"

I can't believe this is happening.

"Uh, no." I reply. Jace frowns.

"Why not?"

"Because for one, it's the middle of the night. And two, no matter what I'll say he will not take me back," I cross my arms defensively. "It is a waste of time."

"You never know," Jace says.

"I do know! You weren't there Jace, you didn't see how hurt he was…" I trail off and feel my face redden. I don't share my personal life like this easily.

"If you were so out of hope, then why did you keep trying to contact him through phone?

"I don't know!" I exclaim. I compose myself.

"You don't really know much about break-ups, do you?" I ask him.

"I don't need to. No one in their right mind would break up with me,"

I raise an eyebrow.

"What about all the girls before Clary?"

"They weren't exactly relationships per say…"

"Look" I interrupt "I don't want to know the details."

He fingers the door handle.

"So you are not talking with him?"

"No"

Jace sighs. "Okay, that's fine,"

I eye him suspiciously.

"You are not going to say that and just follow me again are you?"

"You aren't going home?"

I stick my hands in my pockets and breathe in a gulp of air.

"Well while I'm out here might as well continue to Rapheal's."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"I'd rather be alone, if that's okay."

"Sure. I'll see you in the morning…again," he grins.

"No following?"

"None."

"Are you sure?"

"We're parabatai, I wouldn't lie to you,"

"Thank you…" I smile back at him. "Now go before this turns into a cheesy opera."

Jace turns and starts jogging away, grinning.

I turn, my mood less gloomy now thanks to Jace, and walk until I reach the lair of the New York vampire clan. I stop at a lamppost outside the building to check if I still have a weapon at hand before I enter. Better safe than sorry.

I did not expect what happened next.