"Murph," Miss Hanley had dismissed the class but she called Murph Cooper back and handed her the paper bag, "Your grandpa let us wear them, Stephen and I. I cleaned them at lunch, they're good to go back in the truck."
"Thanks, Miss," Murph said quietly as she took the bag. Murph had not spoken in class all day. She hadn't really participated in class for years, preferring to study on her own and answer only when asked questions, but Miss Hanley hadn't asked her any questions that afternoon.
"It's ok you know," Miss Hanley spoke, "it was good of your grandpa to come in but he didn't need to, I already knew you were destined for bigger things."
Murph looked up at her teacher and felt her heart beat hard in her chest, "you're not mad?" she asked in surprise, "'cause I won't finish school."
"Come off it, Murph, you finished last year, you've already done all the past papers we can find. No, I'm not mad, just a little sad that's all." Murph screwed up her face and looked at her teacher with raised eyebrows. "Sad for you, Murphy, that you won't be with the other kids any more, and- and sad that you won't be with your family so much, you're still very young," she reminded her.
"We can't all live at home forever." Murph made a throwaway remark and then swallowed and looked at her teacher, "I didn't mean," she started, but Miss Hanley raised her hand.
"It's ok, I know what you meant," she smiled softly. "Don't forget your family though, ok?" she told her a little more seriously, "they'll miss you more than you'll miss them."
"There you are, Kidder," Murph's grandfather stood in the doorframe of the classroom, "you in trouble again?" he asked, a wry joke from the old man and Murph smiled and walked to him, she hugged him, "what's this?"
"Just thanks," Murph said quietly and she looked back at her teacher, "thank you too, Miss Hanley, don't be sad for me, I'll be ok."
"Go start up the truck, Murph, I'll be there in a minute."
She nodded and left.
"I gave Murph the masks," Miss Hanley told him and she smiled up at him, "thanks for earlier, I don't think I said thanks, I was too stressed," she laughed a little, "Stephen James is taking a sternly written note home to his dad as well as your riddles."
"That's all right," he smiled and then he walked into the room a little further, "Miss Hanley," he said her name in a more serious tone, more serious even than when he had arrived that morning and they had first started speaking about Murph. She looked up and wondered what he was going to say, what else was there to say? "I know you'll think I'm a fool, but I guess, well, I've looked after my kids and my grandkids now all my life, I don't mean to pry, but, I just wanted to know, you are looked after, aren't you?"
"What do you mean?" she asked awkwardly, "financially?" she looked down at her clothes and wondered how tatty she looked to make people think she had financial difficulties.
"No, no, nothing like that, I mean, do you have a- a partner or like a roommate, someone you live with?"
He was asking in what was obviously meant to be a causal tone but she blushed and felt embarrassed all the same. "I'm ok on my own," she assured him.
"You shouldn't be on your own, not in this world," he said firmly. "I'm sorry," he shook his head, "I don't mean to be your grandfather as well." He paused and asked, "Did Cooper, did he never ask you out?" he tried.
"No," Miss Hanley answered quietly.
"I'm sorry about that," Donald sighed, "I told him he should."
There was a pause and Miss Hanley wondered what she was supposed to say to that. "Good job he didn't," she tried. "It's ok, I'm ok on my own, really," she told him again and she smiled.
"Your dad wouldn't want you on your own, Carrie," Donald told her.
"That's enough," she said firmly and she covered her mouth and looked up at him, "I'm sorry," she said quietly, "I- I know you mean well, Mr Clark, but please, just stop."
"I'm sorry," he apologized, "I don't- that was cheap, I'm sorry," he agreed, "I just, I thought you were still with your mom, I didn't know she'd gone, I've been thinking about it all day." He laughed, "Shows how much I've got going on in my life," he tried to make her smile but she didn't. "I'm not sexist, I honestly don't think anyone should live on their own, that's all," he finished quietly.
"I know," she said quietly, "I know, I just- I feel like I've had this conversation a hundred times. I do have friends I could move in with or –or they could move in with me, but they're all couples, everyone's a couple. I'd be a third wheel. And as for the other option," she shook her head, "I don't want to fall in love or any of that, I don't want to risk it." She looked up at him, "if I was with someone- if I got pregnant... I'd never forgive myself for bringing a child into this."
Donald didn't answer immediately, he knew he'd crossed lots of lines but he came clean as she had. She was a schoolteacher through and through, she hadn't minced around it, she'd told him the reason like it was a fact in a book and not something deeply personal at all. "I understand," he said quietly, "Tom and Murph, they're my life, but I think about Jane, their mom, and I'm glad she's gone. I'd never say that to the kids, not to Coop either. I guess you've got to have some perspective to think like that... I knew what life was supposed to be like. You're a teacher, you know it's not supposed to be this way."
"I'm sorry I snapped at you," she said quietly.
He waved it away, "it's good to get angry sometimes," he told her and he smiled, she smiled too. He paused then said, "Well, I'm glad you've got lots of friends. I'd best be off now, Murph might try driving herself home, I'm not letting that happen again."
He walked back out of the classroom door and Carrie followed him, "Why'd you tell Coop to ask me out?" she called after him and Donald turned and smiled.
"You know why," he told her, "You're smart, you're kind and you're pretty, not many like you about." He turned and carried on walking until he left the school.
