Here's a super-long chapter to reward your patience! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Hogan's Heroes.

Katie stood next to Newkirk in the Kommandant's office. Well,she thought. How am I going to get out this?

Colonel Klink, his eyes narrowed, glared at the pair before him. The large Sargent of the Guard – Katie thought Newkirk had called him "Schultz" – stood silently off to one side. The only person who seemed out of place in the drab room was a member of the American Air Force. Katie shifted and glanced his way. Maybe he can help.

Colonel Klink was not in a good mood. The surprise inspection had led to the shocking discovery that one of the prisoners – his prisoners! – had escaped. Fortunately, one of the search patrols was able to recapture the escapee before anyone else – namely, General Burkhalter – found out. However, much to his surprise and consternation, the guards returned with an extra prisoner in tow.

A woman! Klink thought irritably. What is she doing here? None of the possibilities that passed through his mind were appealing.

She should be at home, not cavorting with prisoners! He flared. Another thought struck home; he growled in annoyance. For that matter, why can't I get a woman of my own?

For his part, Hogan was not happy with Newkirk. He could understand being capture – it was a risk they took every time they went outside the wire – but he should have known better than to be caught with an underground contact.

And if the Gestapo had caught you, you'd be dead! Hogan thought. I might be able to get you outta this.

The Kommandant eyed the errant Englishman in frustration. "Just what were you thinking, Newkirk?" he said. "No one escapes Stalag 13!"

The corporal simply shrugged. "I'd just thought I'd give it ta whirl," he replied, keeping his voice carefully neutral.

Klink then snapped his eyes to his American counterpart. "And you knew nothing of this?"

Hogan shook his head. "I'm just as surprised as you are," he said, choosing his words carefully. The German colonel merely shook his head in exasperation before he turned to face the lone woman in the room. "And what is your role in all of this?"

Katie lowered her eyes, assuming the role of an intimated German civilian. "I vas just going for a walk."

"But the cemetery is a long way from town!" Schultz pointed out.

Katie blinked very slowly. "It vas a long walk."

"Baaaahhhh!" Klink threw his arms up in the air. "You two were up to something!" he accused before he leveled a steely gaze upon the American officer. "And you were behind it all!"

Hogan, seemingly unruffled, merely shrugged. "We're all tired, sir," he said reasonably. "You could just send them to the cooler. Tomorrow-"

"Noooo, Hogan, I cannot do that," the Luftwaffe Colonel interrupted. "Not until I find out vhat these two were doing in the woods."

Katie sighed. "I vas supposed to meet someone," she confessed. Newkirk and Hogan both looked at her in surprise.

"My boyfriend. We-we vere going to elope. He's leaving for the Russian front at the end of the week. Nobody knew about it; we were going to go to the next town to do it. But he didn't show up." Katie took a deep breath, like she was about to cry. "We had planned to meet in the graveyard. I thought the Englishman was my boyfriend," she looked at Newkirk. "But he's nothing but an Allied pig!"

Newkirk winced. Ouch.

"When I heard the gunshots, I got frightened and ran." She shrugged and looked down at her scraped knee, which was starting to scab over. "I got caught anyway."

Schultz emitted a loud, watery sniff. "That is such a sad story!" he exclaimed before he leveled a stern stare at the RAF corporal. "And you were such a naughty boy! Bothering this nice, innocent lady."

"Schultz!" Klink yelled. "Be quite!" A deep frown appeared on his face as he turned to his next target. "Is this true Newkirk?"

Newkirk shrugged again. "More or less," he said with a trace of feigned embarrassment on his face. "We didn' get ta talkin' much, with your guards shootin' at us an' all, an-"

"Newkirk?"

"Yes sir?"

"Shut up."

"Yes sir."

Colonel Klink merely shook his head before he turned back to his newest prisoner. "Where are your parents?"

"In Berlin," she replied.

"Do you have a job?" Klink asked, seemingly bored with the whole conversation.

"Yes sir. I work for Major Steiner. I'm his secretary."

The Kommandant's eyebrows popped up in interest. "Steiner, did you say? Major Hans Steiner?"

Hogan's eyes suddenly narrowed at this new line of questioning. "Where are you going with this, sir?" he asked, his face openly curious.

For once, Klink ignored him while he bored in on his target. "Would you say that Major Steiner gets angry easily, Fraulein?"

Katie's face looked thoughtful. "Yes, I suppose he does."

"Mmm. And were you planning to go back to work after you," Klink made a gesture with his hand. "Eloped?"

"Well, I was planning to, sir."

Hogan spoke up. "Klink, this is all just a big waste of time-"

Klink held up his hand for silence. "How long would you have been gone?"

"Only a few days. Until Friday." Katie suddenly realized something. "You're not going to tell him, are you?"

"Aw Klink, let 'er go," Newkirk blurted. "She wasn't doin' anything wrong. I escaped and ran into her-"

Katie spoke again over Newkirk. "Herr Kommandant, I need this job. I don't have enough money to-"

Klink cut her off. "Well my dear, you should have thought of that before you eloped." He wagged an accusing finger in front of her face. "Take them to the cooler!"

As the twosome were being led away, Hogan looked at the German officer. "Sir, was all that really necessary?"

Colonel Klink shrugged. "Major Steiner is . . . arrogant," he admitted. "Unfortunately, he has connections." He moved over and smiled conspiratorially at the American Colonel. "However, if his secretary was in trouble . . ."

". . . it would be embarrassing for him," Hogan finished, understanding. "Too bad she doesn't work for Burkhalter," he quipped. "You'd be a General for sure-"

"HOOO-GAAANN!" Klink yelled. "Your services are no longer needed. Dismissed!"

"Then again, it may be a trap," Hogan continued, casually ignoring the outburst. Klink looked at him curiously.

"How so?" he asked.

"A test of your abilities as Kommandant," Hogan explained. "Major Steiner probably wanted to see if you could recapture one of your own prisoners. He probably had one of his men help Newkirk escape just to embarrass you."

Strangely, the idea made sense to the Kommadant. Almost. "And his secretary?'

"She just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time," the American went on. "Really, sir, now that you've foiled Major Steiner's plan, the only sensible thing to do is to let her go. To show them that the iron fist of Colonel Klink can be compassionate." Hogan shrugged. "Something to think about."

With that, Hogan threw a salute at his now-thoughtful German counterpart before he made his way out of the office. Great, just great, he angrily mused as he calmly walked across the camp. Newkirk should have known better! And if we don't get that girl out of here, we'll be in a lot of trouble. A long sigh escaped from his tight lips as he pushed open the door to the barracks. Still, I'd better make sure she's okay . . .

For his part, Klink mulled over Hogan's idea for several minutes before pushing it aside. The temptation for revenge was just too strong.

I'm going to call him right now! He thought as he reached for the phone. What's that American phrase? Whoever laughs last? An evil grin passed over his face as he dialed a certain telephone number. We'll see who's laughing now . . .

Katie gingerly cleaned her knee by the small sink in her while going over what just happened. The life of a spy was exciting in more ways than one.

Major Steiner will probably believe the sob story I made up. He doesn't really care about my social life anyway, only as long as it doesn't interfere with my work. She snickered. If only he knew what my work really was.

Just then, she heard the odd sound of stone grinding on stone. She watched in disbelief as part of the corner wall suddenly moved to reveal an opening. The Allied spy eyed it warily.

Now what?

Suddenly, a cheerful man's face popped out of the hole. "Oh!" she said, slightly startled. "Hello."

"Hi ma'am!" The strange man – obviously an American - grinned. "The name's Carter. Andrew Carter. Colonel Hogan wants to talk to you. If you'll follow me . . ." With that, he disappeared back into the hole. Katie stayed where she was, momentarily unsure of what to do.

"Well, are ya comin'?" the man called out. Katie sighed.

"Hang on." She made sure that the makeshift bandage was secure before following the man into the unknown. To her surprise, she was able to stand up just beyond the opening. The strange closed off the cooler entrance before flashing her a silly and, (if she didn't know any better) cute grin.

"This way, ma'am," he said. "The Colonel's expecting you."

The tunnel itself wasn't very long. Along the way she saw actual room carved out of the dirt. She looked around wide-eyed. What is this place?

Two men – Newkirk and the American officer – awaited her in one of the large earthen rooms. The latter regarded her curiously before welcoming her with a tight grin.

"I'm Colonel Hogan, senior POW officer of this camp," he explained. "Are you alright?"

"What?" asked Katie, who was too distracted by her surroundings to focus properly. She quickly snapped back to attention. "Oh, yes. Everything's fine."

"That was some story you made up back there mate." Newkirk said admiringly. "It sure fooled Klink, that's for sure."

Katie smiled. "Thank you. I haven't had to spin one that fast in a while, actually." She paused. "Oh, and my apologies about the "Allied pig" comment."

Newkirk smiled and blushed. "Aw, it's awright," he replied softly. "I knew you was just doin' your job."

Hogan briefly rolled his eyes before he turned his attention to the new arrival. "We're going to try and get you outta here," he said flatly. His brown eyes fixed her with a stony stare. "Fortunately, you're lucky it was our guards that found you two," he chided. "If the Gestapo had found this . . ." he held up the red notebook. ". . . we'd all be dead."

"Well gee, sorry Colonel," said Katie, looking contrite. "I was just following orders. If I had known we were goin' get caught, I'd-"

Colonel Hogan waved off the rest of the comment. "Forget it," he growled. But even as he said the words, he smiled; Katie had the impression that he wasn't really mad at her.

"Now all we have to do is help you escape." He threw a cheeky grin at the blonde woman. "After that, first class all the way to London." To his surprise, Katie shook her head no.

"Why would you do that? I haven't been discovered, and the Underground hasn't been compromised anywhere. I'm staying."

"You sound pretty confident that the Major won't uncover you." Hogan replied. "If he finds out what you've been doing it's the end. For all of us."

Katie merely snickered. "The Major is only concerned about his job," she explained. "I've been working with him for the past two years and he still hasn't suspected anything."

"Gosh. You're really lucky." Carter said. Katie smiled at the overly friendly man.

"Luck has nothing to do with it."

Just then, a colored sergeant ducked out of a nearby tunnel. "Colonel, we've got trouble," he said. "Klink just got off the phone with the Major. He'll be her first thing tomorrow morning."

"That's just great!" Hogan flared. "Lady, you've already caused me enough trouble-" He was about to say more, but was cut off.

"The Major doesn't scare me Colonel." Katie looked defiant. "He's just going to want to talk to me and then he'll take me home." Katie sighed. "Just get that Little Red Book back to me as soon as possible." She eyed the nearby ladder. "Does this lead to your barracks?"

"It sure does!" Carter exclaimed. "We've got tunnels to all the barracks – "

"Carter, are you tryin' ta give away all our bloody secrets?" Newkirk growled menacingly before he focused his kind voice on their female visitor. "Naturally, I'd be happy to show you around . . ." he offered.

"No thank you. I can find my own way." Katie smiled dazzlingly at the assembled men before her hands reached out to grip the rough wood of the ladder. She paused, then turned around. "And no looking up my skirt, either!" she cheekily added. With that, she ascended the ladder and disappeared into the barracks.

"It's a hard war, isn't it?" the Colonel said, his now-impressed voice filling the small chamber. Kinch snorted. The Englishman merely gave a soft sigh of his own as he threw a wistful glance toward the empty ladder.

"That it is, sir," he said. "That it is."