4
A/N: This chapter is a little longer than the others. But as I promised it is all Brandon and Callie.
Callie is walking along the beach thinking about everything that has happened in the last couple of days. She knows she has feelings for Brandon, and more importantly he has feelings for her. But the last time this happened didn't turn out so good. Why did everything have to go back to Liam.
Her life would have been so much simpler if they had never been placed in that home. Now since she had told them what had happened, she knew it was going to come back on her too. She just hoped that Stef and Lena would at least be able to keep Jude. She had no illusions about herself, she knew it was a group home for her.
She had become aware of Brandon walking several yards behind her for the last 15 minutes or so. What she didn't know was if she could trust herself around him. She knew he was the type of guy she could fall head over heals in love with. Hell who was she kidding she already was. Even though she has these feelings she is still scared, scared of where they could lead. Of what could happen if she gave in to them.
Could he really want to be with some one who is so damaged? His life had been close to perfect, how would she fit in? The only way for her to find out is to talk to him about it. She was sure that she needed to stick to her guns about them not dating, at least her head was sure. Now her heart on the other hand was trying to figure out a way to smack her in the back of the head.
"Brandon, do you plan on walking behind me the entire time?" She asks to the air, knowing full well he would hear her.
"No just until you decided you were ready to talk." He says back.
"Well guess I am ready."
"OK, tell me what do you want to talk about?" He asks.
"Why you are following me?" she asks.
"Cause I didn't want you to be alone right now. That and we need to be back in time for the meeting with Bill." Brandon tells her.
"I am alone Brandon. I have to be alone, for Jude's sake." She tells him.
"What does Jude have to do with you and me?" Brandon asks.
"Everything. It is Jude that I have to worry about Brandon. He is now in a good place and making friends. So I have to do everything I can to stay out of trouble so he can have what he deserves." She tells him.
"What about what you deserve?" He asks her.
"Maybe one day I will find someone to love me for who I am." She says.
"Why not now?"
"Haven't met anyone who I think I could have a future with." Callie says.
"Are you trying to say you didn't feel anything from that kiss?" Brandon asks her.
"What if I did? Do you think any thing can come from it? Because it can't, I can't. I have to think of Jude and what my actions may do to him and his chance at a normal life. So no Brandon I felt nothing from the kiss." Callie says.
"That's a lie Callie and you know it. I get the fact that you're scared, for you and for Jude. But you have to know, I would never force you into doing anything you are not ready to do. You would be the one calling all the shots in this not me. I am not Liam, do I want to be with you? Hell yeah I do, what guy wouldn't? Callie I know that you think you don't deserve me, but honestly, I am not sure I deserve you." Brandon tells her.
"Who said anything about me thinking you are like Liam?" She asks.
"It was implied. You said you trusted someone once and got raped. To me that is saying you don't trust me, that I will do what Liam did." Brandon says.
"How do I know you won't? He was all sweet to me as well. Paying attention to me, doing little things like a candy bar in my back pack, holding my hand when we watched a movie. He said nice things to me too Brandon. So how am I suppose to know if I can trust you? How do I know that one of the others won't run and tell on me for dating you? Can you say for sure they won't?" She asks.
"Honestly?"
"No I want you to lie to me. Yes honestly Brandon."
"Yes I can be sure they won't." He tells her.
"Can you? How do you know?" She asks.
"Simple we are a family. Which means we stick up for each other, protect each other. We keep the others secrets, even when we are mad at them. Well most of the time. Mariana did let that sex thing slip. But it was just because she was drunk and mad at Lexi for dating Jesus. Something I don't think you will ever do, so you are safe." He tells her.
"Sounds good, just about what Liam told me. We see where that went didn't we." Callie says as she looks away.
"Look Callie I am not Liam and I am tired of having to tell you that every time we talk. I think I have made it plain that I will not do the thing Liam did. Wasn't it me who helped convince you to talk to the moms? Come on Callie you have to try to trust someone some time, why not me right now?" Brandon asks.
Instead of answering Callie begins to walk again head down deep in thought. Brandon walks beside her staying quite. He knows she needs to think. But he decides to push his luck a little and reaches down and takes Callie's hand. She stiffens then pulls her hand away and quickly looks around like some one might have saw and is now on the phone ratting her out.
She continues walking and peeks at Brandon from time to time to see what emotions are on his face. She knows he wasn't trying to push her to hard but it had startled her a little. Now she regretted pulling her hand away, it had felt good to hold his hand even if it had only been for a couple of seconds.
Why does life have to be such a mess? Why does it have to be so hard. All she wanted to do was fall into his arms and let him hold her. To look into his eyes and see the love that she knows is there. Can she let herself be happy? 'do I dare to dream of being happy and then act on it?'
"Callie I understand. I will back off and leave you alone. The only way this would work is if we both want it. It can't be a one sided affair, well ok maybe in my own mind it would work." He says getting a smile giggle out of her.
"Think about me that much do you?" She teases.
"Every second of every minute of every hour of every day since I first saw you. To be honest I am seriously thinking about asking the moms if I can go to therapy. There has to be something wrong with me. Cause I can't stop thinking about you. Maybe I am becoming the stalker guy." He says trying to get her to laugh, he succeeds.
"You a stalker, yeah right. Something tells me it is just normal." She says.
"Yeah I thing you're right. I think it is normal for a teenage guy to think about a hot girl a lot." Brandon smiles.
"So you think I am hot do you?" Callie asks as she sits down on a bench.
"Yeah super hot. To hot to be interested in a guy like me." Brandon says deciding to take another trek.
"To hot for you, please. Brandon guys like you only want to date a girl like me to piss off their parents. 'look mom dad I brought home the trash.' So no I don't think I am too hot for you." Callie says.
"I am not sure Callie I think you are just trying to be nice and let me down easy. Most good looking girls that have any niceness in them do it that way. So they don't hurt my feelings, it is cool. You can just tell me I am to much of a nerd for you. I promise it won't hurt my feelings that much." Brandon tells her with a strait kind of sad face.
"Did you hit your head or something? The last thing I think is that you are a nerd. Brandon you're a nice guy, you're talented and not so bad to look at. Which makes it that much harder to resist you. By the way don't think I don't know what you are trying to do." She smiles at him.
"Well thought it was worth a try." He chuckles.
"It was a nice try, I will give you that. On someone else it might have worked to. But I have been around the block a time or two, so I have seen many things. Including reverse psychology." She says.
"Didn't think of that." He says shaking his head.
"I will give you one thing, you are persistent. Brandon I want to say yes, I really do." Callie tells him.
"Then do it." He says.
"Ok lets explore that scenario. Say I say yes and we start dating, then what? What happens if Mariana gets mad at me again? Would she get so mad she would report it? If she did report it would they just remove me? Or would they take Jude as well? What about Jesus would he turn us in? And again would they take both or just me if he did? Now the other aspect in this, what about the moms? What if they thought we were getting to serious; would they then ask for me to be removed from the house? What about Jude, they did say they considered us a matching pair. Then there is the obvious reason why this is a bad idea. What happens if we date and things don't work out? Can we still live in the same house seeing each other after we break up? Will that cause me to be removed, or Jude? Can you say for sure that if we start dating we will stay together forever?" Callie lays it out for him.
"Ok my turn to answer your question, at least to the best of my abilities." He says looking out at the water thinking.
"OK, I am waiting." Callie says.
"First neither Mariana or Jesus would report it. As for the moms. I think they already figure we are going to end up together. So going under that assumption, I would say they would be ok with it. As for us breaking up, never going to happen. But lets assume for a moment that we did, ok. I think we would be just fine in the same house. Yes there would be an adjustment period were it would be awkward and maybe even a little tense, that is to be expected. Still no one would be calling for you to be removed and we would eventually make it back to some kind of even keel. Again never going to break up, but no I can not guarantee we will stay together forever. I can hope and dream, but not guarantee it." He tells her.
"You believe all of that?" She asks.
"Yeah I do. Look Callie, I can't explain the reason I feel about you the way that I do. But what I realized is, there are no words for it. And when you have it you trust it, and you believe in it. Take a chance on it. And you're willing to sacrifice anything to keep it no matter what the cost. So this is me taking a chance, what about you?" He says.
Callie looks out at the water and stands and starts walking again with Brandon walking beside her. His words made sense to her. His arguments were as convincing for them to date as hers were for them not to date. He was wearing her down and she knew it, but this was a big risk for her.
They continue to walk for a while. Each running different scenarios in there heads both for and against them dating. Callie knows she shouldn't even be considering this at all. So why was she? What was it about this guy that made him so different than the others who had wanted to date her?
Could this really work? A part of her wants to really find out if it would. The other part of her says run fast, hard and far away! But she is not sure which is the strongest. The former seems to be winning out. The heart wants what the heart wants.
Brandon reaches out and takes her hand once again, this time she doesn't pull it away, and she hears a sigh escape from him. Truth be told she had wanted him to try again since they had sat down.
She knew it was stupid to give into this. To let her guard down and let herself be happy. But it was something she had wanted for a while now. What person doesn't want to be happy? What person doesn't want to fall in love, and to know what it was lie to be loved back? It was something any girl would want, she was sure that guys want the same thing. The more she thought about it the more she knew what the only answer she could give him was. She stops walking and as Brandon walks a little ahead of her before he stops and looks back at her.
"Callie, are you ok?" He asks her.
She doesn't answer him with words. She pulls him back to her and reaches up and slowly kisses him. He is so shocked at first he forgets to kiss back.
She goes to pull away and he realizes that he didn't really kiss back, there was no way he was going to let her think he had changed his mind. He reaches out and takes her waist and pulls her back to him and kisses her the right way this time. It starts out slowly, tentatively at first. As it continues it gets deeper with more emotion and feeling in it.
People walking by smile as they see the couple kissing, some remembering what it was like to be young and in love. Some wanting that to happen in their lives. Some just reveling in the obvious feelings these two have for each other.
The kiss slows and then stops all together. They pull away from each other but neither breaks contact with the other. They lean their foreheads against each others. Neither wanting to open their eyes, scared it was just a dream.
"What was that?" Brandon asks.
"Duh, I think it was me saying yes." Callie chuckles.
"Yes?!" He asks.
"Yes." She says nodding her head.
"YES!" Brandon says a little to loud.
Brandon saying it that loud makes Callie a little nervous so she kisses him again to stop him for yelling again. This time the kiss starts out of urge and again turn emotional. Brandon runs his tongue along her lower lip asking for permission. Callie opens her mouth slightly and Brandon slide his tongue into her mouth as their tongues start a dance of their own while their lips dance to another tune. Again the kiss slows and stops. This time she talks first.
"Maybe we shouldn't be screaming at the top of our lungs while in public." Callie laughs at him.
"Sorry maybe you are right." He says.
"You think." She smiles opening her eyes for the first time since the first kiss.
"Yeah. So what next? I mean I know what I want to happen next, but do you want what I do? I am not talking about sex Callie so don't look at me that way. I want to know is this just us having benefits, or is this more than that?" Brandon asks.