Gray didn't feel so well about the whole thing.

He had been thinking about it for weeks – first, if it really was a good idea, then, how the hell was he supposed to do it, and finally, gathering up his courage to do so. And then he even managed to keep most of his clothes on for the whole day - that's how serious he was about it.

And he expected some reward for all his hard work, right? For her to be happy, at the very least. He expected she would smile and maybe cry a little, jump at him and throw him to the ground, hopefully not breaking his ribs but not quite being far from it, say some silly and wildly exaggerated things and such. And if she wanted to make out on the spot, well, he would probably oppose just a little.

What he did not expect in any way, shape or form, was the blank look and utter inability to process his words. He knew that she was easily distraught, but one would think that when he was finally to give her what she had wanted so much, she should be able to focus at least a bit, right?

Hopefully, she have been studying his note all the night and the morning, so when he goes inside the guild, he's gonna be surely thrown to the ground with the force of ocean, or something.

So he sneaked inside cautiously and making sure no child or animal is currently standing beside his back. Then he quickly found a nice, solid wall to support himself and waited.

One, two, three.

Nothing?

He looked around the guildhall, to see Juvia sitting at the table and waving shyly at him.

Well, okay. It wasn't exactly the level of enthusiasm he expected, but at least his bones were guaranteed to live on. He shrugged and went to greet her.

"Hey, Juvia," he said, as casually as he could, even though for some reason his heart was trying to go out through his throat.

"Hello, Gray-sama," she said, smiling in her usual way, even if a little more bashful.

He looked at her for a second, waiting for some kind of reaction, but when she just looked back, he started to feel rather stupid. Shaking his head, he simply sat beside her. Should he ask her about it, or..?

"What do you eat?" he asked instead. And isn't it a clever thing to say? Good job, Gray.

Juvia glanced around the things stuffed on the table. "So, there is this carrot bread," she said, "With carrot butter and crunchy carrot slices, then carrot soup with a carrot toast, a carrot muffin covered with carrot custard, carrot pancakes with carrot jam, carrot shake, carrot juice, carrot cocktail, oh, and a carrot." She took a breath. "Does Gray-sama want some?"

That was rather weird. "That's a lot of carrots, isn't it..."

"Juvia heard that carrots are good for eyes."

"And why would you need it?" He tilted his head to gave her a closer look, and she seemed to pale a bit.

"J-Juvia still... She still cannot read your note, Gray-sama..." She hung her head.

"Ah." So that was it - he was still in a square one, all work and no play. "But, you can read other things, right?" He picked up a new issue of a Weekly Sorcerer from the nearby shelf and opened it on a random page. "Here, read this," he said.

"Uhmm..." Juvia squinted at the magazine. "Lamia Scale's Lyon Vastia has been chosen by the public vote for The Most Desired Boyfriend of the month - "

"What? There truly must be something wrong with your eyes." Gray snatched the newspaper away from her and read it himself. "Oh... It's really written here. Unbelievable!" He gasped. "What do they see in him?"

"Well, Lyon-sama is quite hands - "

"Don't!" he said quickly. "It was a rhetorical question," he explained. "Anyway, your eyes seem to be okay."

"You're right," Juvia's face lightened up. "Maybe the carrots worked!" She quickly pulled his note from her pocket and stared at it, but then her shoulders slumped and she put it back. "No..." she said, all the energy gone."Juvia still cannot read Gray-sama's note... She is just seeing some other words."

"How come? What do they say?" Is that a game she tries to play with me? She didn't seem to be the one for games, though. Should he got worried about her then?

"They are nonsense... Juvia would rather not say."

He sent her a doubtful look.

She glanced at him, her eyes big and gleaming."Please don't laugh, Gray-sama, but Juvia sometimes see things that don't exist," she whispered conspiratorially, leaning towards him. "Like..." She looked left and right, as if checking something, then moved closer to him and spoke even quieter. "Once, she saw Lucy and Natsu-san making out, and..." She licked her lips. "Gajeel-kun and Levy-san kissing."

Lucky bastards. "And they weren't really?"

She shook her head. "When Juvia looked again, they were just talking casually."

He frowned at her. "Does it happen to you a lot?" What if she was ill? He heard about some brain bugs that -

"No, mostly when Juvia is... thinking about... um..." She hung her head and got all red. "No, nothing... It's nothing." She looked up to him and smiled weakly. "It doesn't happen often. Don't worry, Gray-sama."

"It's okay," he said, though it wasn't, really. What was he supposed to do now? He couldn't just give up so easily after all this hard thinking he had performed. Maybe different choice of words would help? But there were too many fearsome beings around, such as Happy and Mira.

"Come," he said, raising up and giving her a hand.

He led her out of the guild and to a tiny bridge over the river, where he knew not much people would be passing.

He took a deep breath, trying to calm down his stupidly racing heart. "It was that I wanted us to become a couple," he said.

His words just washed over her like before, though. She stared at him with round eyes, and then looked down to the water, shoulders hunched. "Juvia still doesn't know what Gray-sama says," she admitted.

Gray cursed inwardly. "But we talked normally before." Why was she only not hearing certain things? "Let me conduct an experiment."

She nodded hesitantly, and he leaned against the bridge's balustrade, studying her face. "Juvia, your eyes are like the fairest stars in all the heaven," he recited from some stupid play that Erza had made him watch once. Normally, such sappy things wouldn't pass through his throat, but this was for the science. How did it go anyway? Something like..."You're like a rose, regardless of thy name."

Juvia stared at him, terrified. "J-Juvia is..."

"Oh? You got that?" he wasn't sure if he should feel more happy or embarrassed.

She shook her head. "No... Juvia is sorry..."

"Hmm..." He could swear from her expressions that she was hearing this, though. "I think your magic is very impressive."

"Really? But Gray-sama's magic is more beautiful."

"Not as beautiful as you."

"Huh? What did Gray-sama say?" She looked confused again.

He pressed his forehead into his hand. "I said your deafness is rather selective."

"Ah," she hung her head. "So it seems."

He looked at the water for a minute. "Listen, Juvia," he hesitated. "It's not some kind of a prolonged joke, is it?"

"What? No..."

"Because if you're doing that to get us even after some of those rude things I might have said to you before... I totally get it. Ha, ha. I deserve it. Okay. Now can we get serious, because I'm starting to lose my nerves here."

"What rude things..." Juvia's eyes got round like plates. "No, Gray-sama... Juvia is not joking, nor would she feel the need to." She hid her face in hands. "She's so sorry," she repeated, her voice muffled. "Her brain is so stupid... And yet Gray-sama still tries to talk to her..."

"No, Juvia, hey... It's okay, sorry, I'm not really angry nor anything," he touched her shoulder and she put her hands down to look at him. "You are not doing this on purpose, are you."

She shook her head, and her eyes seemed sincere enough, and so sad he almost couldn't bear it. She wouldn't be able to fake something like that, or he didn't know her at all.

"It's okay..." He repeated. "We will somehow go around it. Like... Maybe..." He looked left and right to make sure no one is there, and then leaned down and kissed her, barely noticing his jacket flying off somewhere.

Juvia gasped, but didn't try to get away; in fact, she kissed him back, even if very shyly. Her lips were soft and sweet and she smelled like an ocean, and as her warmth encompassed all his body, he wished this whole messed up thing already ended. Only then he would get as much of her as he wanted - and he wanted a lot.

Right now, though, he let her go, and she took a step back, staring at him in confusion.

"G-Gray-sama..." she gasped.

"So," he said. It was going to end now, right? "Did you get it this time?"

"Did Juvia..." She glanced at him apologetically. "Did Juvia have something in her hair or..."

"You think I just pulled something out from your hair?" She kissed him back, for god's sake! How could she not realize what they have just done?

Juvia simply nodded.

"I've had enough of this," he said, catching her wrist and dragging her towards Porlyusica's house.

Juvia tried to protest, but he silenced her with a glance. He was not going to have it: there was clearly something wrong with her, a glitch in her mind, and it got him worried beyond words. And why was it only blocking his efforts? It was so unfair.

"Porlyusica-san!" He knocked decisively on her door. "Porlyusica-san! Please help us!"

The door opened with a crack. "You again?" Porlyusica glanced coldly at Juvia, who was just trying to hide behind his back, then turned to drill some holes in him. "Is there something wrong with your ears too?"

"I'm sorry to disturb you, Porlyusica-san," he said, "But Juvia here seems to have some nervous breakdown or something. I heard that - "

"I am going to have a nervous breakdown if it will go on like that," Porlyusica interrupted him. "Why can't you just leave her alone? I bet that would calm her nerves instantly. Now off you go."

"No, Porlyusica-san!" he put a foot through the door, so she wouldn't be able to close it. "You don't understand! She doesn't hear things I'm saying and - "

"Oh, and those things you're saying are so important."

That threw him off a bit. "Well, I..."

"I'll tell you something, boy: there's nothing wrong with her." She glanced at Juvia briefly. "Aside from the usual things, I mean. Now goodbye."

"But you should at least examine her, otherwise - "

Porlyusica sighed irately, then grasped his shirt and pulled him inside, slamming the door in front of Juvia.

"What? Wait," He protested. "There's nothing wrong with me. It's Ju-"

"Everything is wrong with you," she said, as she pulled him further into the house. "Sit here," she commanded, pushing him onto the chair. "And for god's sake, where do you think you're throwing that!?"

Gray followed the direction of her gaze. "Oh.. sorry," he mumbled, rushing to take his shirt off her candleholder.

"Why am I getting dragged into this," the woman muttered, getting a second chair for herself. Then she fixed her steel gaze on him. "The way I see it, stupid boy, is that: you reap what you sow."

"I – I what?"

"I don't have whole day for you, so you better focus," she frowned at him. "Have you not refused that silly girl countless times? Have you not ignored her when she was trying to approach you? There. You have it back now."

"How do you know - "

"All Fiore knows it," she sneered, her gaze making him press his back into the chair with all his might. "So what, she doesn't hear what you're saying, now that you're trying so hard to be nice? Such an ungrateful girl, surely something must be wrong with her, mustn't it?"

"Erm... That's not what I..."

"I didn't finish," Porlyusica raised a hand. "You should understand it's only logical for her. I bet she doesn't expect anything from you at this point. Not that at any point it would be reasonable, actually, but well, she's young, so she can err."

"Um... Porlyusica-san... but..."

She scowled, but didn't interrupt him.

"Basically, you're saying it's fate, or karma, or something like that - " he continued.

"Ah, so you're not completely deaf after all."

"So what am I to do?" He looked at her pleadingly. He didn't like it at all – nor did he agree with her assessment of his character – but she could be technically right about the whole thing. It was, after all, the only explanation he had.

"Oh, now you want advice?" She tilted her head. "What am I, your godmother?"

"Please, Porlyusica-san..." He leaned towards her, trying to catch her eye. "I'm really trying... I'll never be rude again. Just, please, if there's any way..."

She snorted. "Actually, there are two ways to go about it, I think," she said finally. "First: balance the bad things with good ones, and just wait, trying to get to her in every way possible. There's a chance you will be heard eventually."

"It sounds like it's gonna be long," he complained. "What is the second way?" Maybe some potion could help? Simple, elegant solution -

"Oh, it's way faster, and much better suited for such an impatient young man,' she said coldly, her eyes scorning him. "Just do nothing. Give up already."

"Porlyusica-san..." How could she suggest such a thing?

"All this romantic love thing, after all," she continued, drawling the words with revulsion, "Is just a glitch on your mind, preventing you from doing real work. Malfunction of reason."

"A... glitch?" he frowned at her.

She nodded. "Think about it. In the end, it serves nothing more than producing more people, and I doubt anyone would need that. Especially."

"Especially from me?" he guessed, resigned.

"Well, you said that."

So much for the shortcut. But he wasn't going to give up; this whole strange thing that was between him and Juvia could in no way amount to just that. He would not stop, and he would reach her in the end.

Even if it was just a glitch.

Thank you all for your lovely reviews! Make sure to let me know what do you think of this one ^^

Two more chapters to go; third one should be next Friday. Meanwhile, stay warm and wear your scarfs.