Harley stood, baseball bat in hand, above a cowering man. Bricks of cocaine surrounded the two, and the Joker's laugh rang out from the back room. He was busy making a deal with one of Gotham's most notorious drug lords. He had left Harley outside the room to guard the door. She had caught the man who lay in front of her attempting to sneak in, gun in hand.
"I don't know what you was planning," Harley said, "but you ain't goin' in there."
"I was just making sure the boss isn't getting screwed over," the man squeaked. "Please don't hurt me, Miss Quinn."
Harley smiled viciously and placed the tip of her stiletto heel against the back of the man's hand.
"Move and you'll have a brand new hole to go fuck yourself with," Harley laughed.
Suddenly, the door behind Harley crashed open. The man the Joker was doing business with ran from the room, followed closely by the green-haired man.
"We gotta get out of here, babe," the Joker said. "Someone tipped off the cops. They're on their way."
Harley nodded, and moved her heel from the trembling man's hand.
"Today's just your lucky day, ain't it?" Harley threw back her head, laughing as the man sighed with relief.
The Joker grabbed a brick of cocaine and stuck it into the pocket of his trench coat, just as the front door burst open. Batman stepped through the door, and from somewhere behind Harley, gunshots rang out. Batman dodged the bullets, and the room erupted in chaos. Men were running all around Harley, towards the door, fleeing from Batman. He, however, was focused only on the Joker. Before Harley had time to react, the two men were engaged in fierce hand-to-hand combat. In just a few moments, the Joker was pinned to the ground by his throat.
Harley leapt into action. She tumbled forward and delivered a powerful kick to Batman's ankles, making him lose his balance. Batman growled, jumped to his feet, and slammed Harley against the wall. He drew back his fist, but Harley only laughed.
"You wouldn't punch a lady who's expectin', would ya, Batsy?" Harley asked, her hand going to her stomach protectively.
Batman stared at her, surprised.
"You're pregnant?" He asked, staring dumbly at Harley's still-flat stomach.
Harley grinned and took the opportunity to duck out from under the black-caped man's arm. The Joker grabbed her hand, and the two ran to their car, a bright purple Lamborghini. The Joker roughly pushed Harley in through the driver's side, and climbed in after her. In seconds, they were speeding down the highway, laughing as they wove in and out of lanes, heading towards the hideout.
As the Joker pushed the gas pedal further, Harley let her hand drift back to her stomach. She smiled down.
"Someday, you're gonna join us when we play jokes, Little One," Harley whispered. "Right, Mistah J?"
"Sure thing, baby," the Joker said. "Give me a bump off this," he ordered, handing Harley the brick of cocaine from his pocket.
Harley carefully unwrapped the brick and pinched off a bit with the long nail of her pinky finger. She held it under the Joker's nose, and he snorted deeply.
The Joker shook his head, wildly, and smiled at Harley.
"That's the good stuff, baby," he yelled, punching the roof of the car and laughing.
Harley pinched off another bump and snorted it herself.
"Goddamn," she whispered, wiping away the trail of blood that ran from her nostril.
The Joker pulled the car into the underground garage beneath the hideout. He drug Harley out of the car and up the stairs towards the bedroom. Halfway up, Harley tripped, and the Joker scooped her up into his arms and carried her the rest of the way. When he reached the bed, he threw Harley down roughly, and began stripping off her clothes.
When Harley was free of her clothes, the Joker loomed over her. He ripped off his trench coat, exposing his tattooed, muscular chest. Harley bit her lip in anticipation, and reached out to touch the bulge in the front of the Joker's pants. The Joker slapped her hand away.
"Not yet, my pretty little toy," he cooed, squeezing Harley's face in his powerful hand. "Spread those legs for me, slut."
Harley obeyed the Joker's command. She watched as the green-haired man slowly unbuckled his belt. He moved as if to throw the belt down, but instead raised it high and brought it down on the exposed, porcelain flesh of Harley's inner thighs. Harley screamed, and tried to pull her legs together, but the Joker shot her a warning glare.
"Would you rather me use this on your face?" He asked, preparing to strike Harley with the belt again.
"No, Daddy, please. Stop!" Harley sobbed. "What did I do wrong, Mistah J?"
"I saw you take that bump. You know better than that. You had a goddamn PhD, Harley. It's not like you fucking forgot everything, you stupid whore."
"What are ya talkin' about, Mistah J?" Harely cried. "You always let me use a little."
The Joker snarled and landed one final blow from the belt to Harley's thighs. "Not when you're gonna have my kid, dollface," the Joker snarled. "You walk the straight and narrow path when it's my baby you're carrying. No drugs, no alcohol. If I see so much as an espresso touch your lips, this will look like a walk in the park. Got it? All that shit is bad for the baby."
"But you hittin' me ain't?" Harley fired back.
As soon as the words had left her mouth, Harley regretted them. The Joker grabbed her pale throat, his fingers digging into her soft flesh.
"You begged me to let you keep this little annoyance," the Joker said through gritted teeth. "The very least you could do is treat it right before it's even born."
The Joker released his hand from Harley's throat, and the blond woman coughed and tried to sit up. The Joker smiled and shook his head.
"Oh, I'm not done with you yet, my little Harley Quinn."
The Joker pushed Harley back on the bed and roughly spread her legs with his knees. He undid his pants, and pressed the hot, hard flesh to Harley's bruised thigh. Despite herself, Harley moaned. The pleasure intermingled with pain made her instantly wet. The Joker noticed, and smiled.
"On your knees," he ordered, slapping Harley's ass when she obeyed.
The Joker slipped two fingers inside Harley, and felt her warm wetness. Satisfied that she was ready, the Joker thrust inside of Harley, the tip of his penis hitting her cervix. She moaned underneath him, and began rocking her petite body back and forth. The Joker growled, and slammed Harley's head onto the bed. He thrust in and out of her for a while, then roughly flipped her over and plunged back inside of her.
Harley moaned in ecstasy, and scratched at the Joker's back, drawing blood. In retaliation, the Joker bit Harley's breast, leaving a distinctive bruise. His metal grills felt cold on Harley's nipple, and she shivered as the Joker nipped at her sensitive skin.
Harley came with a loud moan, and the feeling of her walls spasming around his cock was enough to send the Joker over the edge. He grunted as he came inside of her, and pulled her hair until she screamed in pleasure and pain.
The couple collapsed on the bed, sweaty, bloody, and exhausted. Harley curled up against the Joker, her head on his chest. She cringed when her thighs touched, and the Joker gently pushed a blonde curl away from her face with his thumb.
"You know I only hit you when you deserve it, right Harls?" He asked, stroking her hair.
"I know it, Mistah J. I just wish I was better at not makin' you angry," Harley replied, tracing the tattoos on the Joker's chest.
"So do I, dollface."
Harley lay still on the bed, her hand over her stomach. She briefly wondered how Ivy was doing, but pushed the thought away as quickly as it had came. It had been two and a half months since Harley had left the comfort of Ivy's home and returned to the Joker. Some nights, like tonight, she almost regretted the choice she had made.
Ivy's words often rang in her ear, and were especially loud on nights like tonight.
"A baby can't handle his kind of love!" Ivy had yelled, desperately trying to convince Harley to stay with her.
Harley was silent for a long while, working up the courage to ask the Joker a question. Finally, she took a deep breath and turned to the man lying next to her.
"Mistah J, when the baby gets here, you ain't gonna hit it or nothin', are ya?" Harley asked, clutching the comforter tightly in her hands.
"Of course not," the Joker replied. "We're gonna make sure he or she knows all the rules right from the beginning."
Harley breathed a sigh of relief, but the nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach refused to go away.
Meanwhile, in the Batcave, Batman sat in front of a large television screen, waiting for his call to Louisiana to go through. Finally, the blank screen filled with the image of a young woman.
"Amanda Waller speaking," the woman said. "Ah, Batman. Are you calling to let me know that you've captured my little escapee?"
"Not yet, but I'm close," Batman growled, his deep voice echoing in the near-empty room. "There is some new information regarding her that we need to discuss. It is of the upmost importance."
"Yes?" Waller asked, crossing her arms.
"Harley Quinn is pregnant. I assume it is the Joker's child. We cannot, under any circumstances, allow a child to be raised by these monsters."
"Of course not." Waller replied. "You just catch her, Batman. Leave the rest to me."
Batman nodded, and ended the call.
At Belle Reve, Amanda Waller sat behind her desk, deep in thought. Suddenly, a smile spread across her face, and she pressed a button on her phone.
"Lucille, bring me Dr. Kovack," she snapped at her assistant. "I believe I may have found a cure for Harley Quinn's…disobedience."