A/N: I'M BAAAAAAAACK! OH MY GOD. ITS BEEN THREE YEARS. I'm a horrible awful person. I have no excuse.

Now, I know you don't want to hear yet another disclaimer, but I have to. If I don't say that I'm not C.S. Lewis, some poor fool is going to believe that I am, and then some scary men in nice black suits are going to come take me away. And you wouldn't want that, would you? No, because that would mean no more chapters!

Oh by the way, as a way of getting back into writing this, I went through all the previous chapters for this story and did some editing. It's nothing major, just some grammar revisions. You don't have to reread them if you don't want to, none of the major plot points have changed. But since its been three years, you might want to anyways.

Also, this story has officially been published on AO3 under the username eliren. So is my other story, Connected.

Chapter 9

Edmund could be a very hard man to find when he wanted to be, Caspian reflected as he strode through the halls. After Caspian had told him of his interest in that backhanded fashion, Edmund had insisted that he wasn't hungry and had slipped away before Caspian could stop him. Caspian couldn't have that. Edmund hadn't had solid food in 5 days! Sure, they had managed to get just enough into him while he was in his coma to ensure his continued health, but it wasn't near enough to help him regain the weight he had lost while in his world.

But, recognizing the stubbornness in Edmund that was a fundamental part of the man Caspian loved, Caspian knew that getting Edmund to come down to the kitchens with him when he didn't want to would be nigh on impossible. So instead, Caspian was bringing the kitchens to Edmund. Ok, not the whole kitchen. But certainly a very sizeable meal, with enough food for two.

A servant had attempted to carry the tray for him, not accustomed to the king collecting his own meals, but Caspian was not king for nothing. His word was law, literally. He had gotten a general location for Edmund out of a guard, but he was proving harder to find than anticipated.

Then suddenly, Caspian saw a lone figure on one of the balconies facing out towards the sea. A very familiar figure, indeed. He turned on his heel and threw open the glass doors and called out, "Edmund!"

xXx

Edmund had to get away. He couldn't look at Caspian's happy glowing face any longer, as he talked about the person he loved. Yes, it was wonderful to be back in Narnia, but he needed a little while before he could feign happiness at Caspian getting into a relationship. The wound was too raw right now. The look on his face as he spoke about them… it hurt.

He didn't know where he was going as he walked blindly through the halls. All he knew was that it was away. Soon, he realized that he was blinded not just metaphorically by hurt, but literally by tears. He brushed them away angrily but they just kept coming.

He didn't even know that he had gotten his hopes up about Caspian in this way. He's always known that Caspian could never return his feelings, but something about this just set it in stone, and it hurt like nothing else.

A breeze made Edmund stop in his tracks. Had he accidentally made it all the way outside? He wiped his eyes clear of tears once more. No, he was still in a castle corridor. The breeze was coming from an open glass door, leading out to what looked like a gorgeous balcony.

Edmund walked, almost hypnotized by the view of the ocean off the edge of the balcony, placed on the edge of the cliff as it was. He barely remembered to close the doors behind him so Caspian wouldn't discover him until he was ready to face him.

There were two beautiful lounge chairs placed strategically to get the best viewpoint out of the already perfectly placed balcony, and Edmund collapsed into the nearest one. As he did, he let out an involuntary groan of relief as his feet got to take a rest. It seems that he had been walking longer than he realized, blinded by his pain and his thoughts as he was.

His feet were yelling at him for it now, and as he looked down at them, he noticed they were in very familiar shoes. Not the ones he had been wearing back in London, oh no. These were the same boots he had worn upon the Dawn Treader. Not just similar ones, but the exact same ones. How had these come to be here? Had Caspian… brought these back with him? Why would he do that?

This thought made him take a closer look at what he was wearing, he hadn't taken note of it before, because he was so captivated by Caspian's presence that he couldn't even think of anything else. Once again, the clothes were familiar. They were the ones he had worn when on the island where Eustace had been turned into a dragon. He closed his eyes as he let the memory of that day rush over him.

He remembered Caspian's desperate call of his name as Eustace carried him off to show Edmund his message written in flames. Caspian had sounded terrified, as he watched Edmund get carried away, perhaps forever. He hadn't thought much of it at the time, concerned as he was that his cousin had been turned into a dragon. But now he wondered, would Caspian have searched for him? Obviously yes but for how long? Eventually Caspian would've had to move on with his quest. Just to indulge himself though, he thought of what might've happened if Caspian refused to stop looking, spending forever tracking down the dragon that had taken him, going mad with grief…

No. These thoughts were just as foolish as the thoughts about Caspian saving his clothes just for him. Caspian was a practical man. He saved the clothes because they are very fine quality and surely could be used for any number of other people who are around his size. And as for what might have happened, well. It didn't, did it.

Edmund shook off that and all other such foolish thoughts and got to his feet. He walked over to the railing and just breathed in the salt scent of the ocean, allowing it to calm him. He was so grateful to be back here. He was just scared that at any moment he would be ripped away again. He couldn't leave; this was where he belonged.

Suddenly, Edmund's stomach growled. Oops. Perhaps he shouldn't have been so hasty to run away from Caspian and his offer of food earlier.

He gave a sigh and resigned himself to hunger for at least a little while longer and looked out upon the blue sea once more and –

"Edmund!"

Hearing his name called when he thought he was utterly alone startled him far more than he was willing to admit. He whipped around, automatically reaching towards his belt, looking in vain for his sword. But thankfully, he didn't need it.

It was Caspian.

xXx

As Edmund whipped around in surprise, Caspian opened his mouth to tease him about being caught off guard like that. But then he got a closer look at his face, and the words died on his tongue. His friendly smile dropped off his face, because Edmund wasn't just red in embarrassment. No, he had been crying.

He walked closer, quickly setting the tray down on one of the chairs and then continuing on towards Edmund.

Caspian grasped his shoulders and said softly, "Ed, what's wrong?"

"N-nothing." Edmund stuttered.

"I know you don't cry without reason. Please tell me what it is so I can fix it. Are, are you unhappy to be here?"

"No! No, of course not. I love it here and to be back is a dream come true."

"But…?"

"But, I don't see why. Why am I here? You don't need me. And how long until I get ripped away again?"

"Edmund…" he started cautiously. "Forgive me for saying this, but I think maybe you have got this backwards. Judging by your appearance when you arrived, I think perhaps this time it isn't Narnia who needs you but you who needs Narnia."