Chapter 4:
AN: Thank you guys for your reviews, follows, and favorites. I really appreciate the support this story has been getting.
She was back, finally, after months JJ was back in the BAU. She was back to working with the people she loves. As she stepped out of the elevator, she took in the atmosphere. People were rushing in and out of the bullpen, her colleagues were all huddled around Morgan's desk looking at something and a smile made its way to her face. She missed this.
Garcia was the first to look up from Morgan's laptop, she smiled and went rushing over to JJ. "Oh, my sweet gumdrop, you're back." She said as she hugged JJ. The others quickly followed suit, greeting and embracing her. It was like they hadn't seen her in months, which in a way they hadn't, sure they hung out as often as they could, but there was something about working together that made it feel like she was returning home.
Hearing the commotion from below, Rossi and Hotch came out of their offices. They both watched the scene for a moment, Hotch's lips turned upward slightly in a way they rarely did anymore. After a moment they both walked down to greet JJ. Once everyone had settled Hotch spoke, "JJ, I thought you weren't coming back until tomorrow?" He asked with everyone nodding in agreement.
"I was, but I wanted to surprise everyone, and stop Pen from trying to throw a party." JJ explained getting a slight frown from Garcia before she perked up.
"Oh sweet pea, you're a profiler now. You should know there is no way to stop me from throwing you a party." Everyone laughed at this. They spent a good part of the day catching up, although they had gotten together a week prior.
The rest of the week past with no problems and soon enough JJ was settled back in and it seemed like she had never left at all. On Friday JJ and Garcia decided to have a girl's night, they didn't want to go out so they went to JJ's house. AJ and Henry were staying at Reid's for the night and the girls were having a good time when Garcia finally brought the Reid situation, "What's going on between you and Spencer?"
JJ was thrown off by this question, "What do you mean, Pen. He's my best friend." She told her sounding thoroughly confused.
"Come on Jayje, everybody can see that there is more than that between you guys."
"There is nothing going on between us." JJ told her firmly but with the look she got from Garcia she let out a sigh knowing there was no getting out of this. "Fine, I like him, I've had a crush on him for years. But I'm not ready to go back out into the dating world."
"JJ it's been three years, don't you think Will would want you to move on with your life and try to find someone to be happy with? You can't just be alone and miserable for the rest of your life sweetie." For once Garcia was completely serious as she spoke."
"Can we talk about something else, I don't want to have this conversation now. I told you that I'm not ready can you please just respect other people's privacy for once." Silence followed JJ's outburst.
"I know I try to pry a little into your life, but JJ if I don't do it you will just stay silent and let everything just stay stuck inside. You always do that and that is not the way to heal from it, it makes things worse. No one is allowed to hurt you like that, especially not you. You've been hurting inside for years, I can tell. You don't get to do that to yourself when you have a family that wants nothing more than for you to be happy and healthy, a family that will do anything to help you. You can't just keep everything locked away like this, you need to talk to people. JJ, I know opening up to people is hard but you have a family full of people who love you and would never judge you for anything you feel. Just please talk to us, talk to me." By this point, Garcia was crying and JJ was close to doing so herself.
They sat in silence for a few minutes and Garcia was scared that she had overstepped her bound this time, when finally, JJ spoke, "I can't lose another person I love, I just can't." JJ's voice cracked as she explained what she was feeling.
"Sweetie, you won't lose him or anyone else." Garcia told her but before she could finish JJ cut her off.
"You can't say that. You don't know what is going to happen especially in our line of work. Things happen, and I can't go through this again. Every man that I have ever been in love with, like really in love with, I've lost them. Penelope, I can't lose Spence."
"JJ, you can't be afraid to love. I know things have been tough throughout your life, especially your love life but you can't give up because you're afraid of getting hurt. You can't run from it, I know you Jayje, and you are way too stubborn to give up. You need to hold onto hope because everything happens for a reason and things will work out for you."
There was silence for a few minutes as both girls tried to get their emotions under control. Finally, JJ spoke, "I never told you what happened to Anthony, AJ's dad?" she asked quietly. Penelope just shook her head. "It happened the day I found out I was pregnant. I told him over the phone and he rushed into his car to come to my apartment." JJ let out a shaky breath before continuing, "He was hit by a drunk driver, he died on impact."
"I'm sorry Jayje." Garcia told her quietly.
"It was one of the hardest things I've had to deal with, and the only thing that held me together was knowing that I had a piece of him in me. Those boys of mine are the only reason I'm still here, they're the reason I'm where I am. I can't go through that kind of loss again. I don't know what will happen if I try to love someone again. What if I lose someone else that I can't live without?"
"Honey, I know it hurts. I know it can be scary, but you can't focus on the what if's in life. If you do that you stop living. You turn into a robot, just going through the motions of everyday life and you can't do that to your boys, you can't do that to yourself."
Garcia pulled JJ into a tight embrace as she said those words. A single tear ran down JJ's face as she relaxed into the loving hug.
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Spencer had just put Henry to bed and walked back to the living room to play one last game with AJ before sending him to bed. The chess board was already set up and AJ was waiting for him to sit down. "You ready to lose, Uncle Spence?" The boy questioned in a teasing tone.
"Just for that, I'm not going to let you win like I normally would." Spencer bit back.
"You haven't been letting me win, I would have noticed that."
"Of course I have; don't you think it's suspicious that you've won every time." Spencer told him, trying to make his voice sound sincere.
"Whatever makes you feel better, Uncle Spence. I get that you suck at chess but there is no need to lie about it." AJ gave him a small smirk as he continued their playful banter. They both laughed as they started to play the game.
"So, what's going on between you and mom?" AJ asked as he moved his knight.
"What do you mean?" Spencer asked, thrown off by the question.
"Well, it's obvious that you like her. So I guess what I'm trying to ask is are you going to try to ask her?"
"AJ, it's not as simple as me liking her. I don't know if she likes me back, or if she is ready to be involved in a relationship. Plus, she has you and Henry to think about."
"Uncle Spence, don't take this as an insult, but for a profiler you are so oblivious to things like this. The way you two look at each other, it is obvious that you both have feelings for one another. As for her not being ready, I don't know either but I think she is scared. I think she doesn't want to love someone for fear of losing them and I think you can be the person to show her that she doesn't need to be scared. Henry and I love you, I get that you guys might not want to confuse Henry but you can't just not try if this could be something great." They both stayed in silence for a moment as Reid contemplated AJ's speech.
"Checkmate." AJ told him as he stood up from the table and made his way to the guest room that had become his and Henry's he stopped halfway there and turned around, "You know, I think the most excited I've ever been was when I found out you and mom were going on a date." With that he walked into the room and softly closed the door.
Spencer stared in wonder at the door which held two of the people he held dearest behind it. He cleaned up quickly and headed to bed himself. He wasn't sure what he was going to do, but he wanted to try to talk to JJ about it in the morning. He went to bed with a small smile on his face as he thought about the family that had become his own.
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The next day, the doorbell rang at a little after ten. Spencer answered it to see JJ smiling at him. "Hey Jayje, the boys are eating breakfast. Do you think we could talk, in my room?" Spencer asked nervously.
JJ smiled softly and nodded, she hoped this was about what she talked about the previous night. "JJ, I, well um…" Spencer stuttered over his words as he tried to express the feelings he had been keeping in for so long. "Jennifer, I have had feelings for you for a long time and I really want to be with you. I know you might not be ready for a relationship, but I'm willing to wait for when you are. I understand if you don't want to try this I just really needed to tell…" his rambling was cut off by lips colliding with his.
Reid was surprised at first, but returned the kiss quickly. They stayed like this for a while, until they both needed to breath. Reid looked at her with a slightly confused yet happy expression, "Your right, I might not be ready for a relationship. I'm going to be honest, I'm scared to try, but Spence, I care about you so much and if I'm going to try to move on and date someone, I really want it to be you."
Reid smiled and was going to go in for another kiss, but a small gasp and the look on JJ's face stopped him. "What's wrong Jayje?" he asked softly.
"What about the boys, I can't do this if they aren't ready and I really don't want to confuse them." JJ said softly as she berated herself for just now thinking about this.
Spencer let out a soft laugh before looking at JJ, "I don't think you have to worry about that, AJ is the one who talked me into actually talking to you about this instead of just hiding it like usual. You know Jayje, you have two really amazing boys." JJ smiled as she looked out the slightly opened door at her oldest son trying to help feed his baby brother without making a mess. This time when Reid went to kiss her she returned it happily.
A few minutes later they exited the room and walked into the kitchen. Henry immediately yelled and held his arms out for his mommy. AJ smiled as he looked between her and Spencer. "So, how was your day yesterday, AJ?" JJ asked him while picking up her youngest.
"It was good, but Uncle Spence killed Queen Margaret and Charlie, my noble steed." JJ looked over to Spencer for an answer.
"He named his chess pieces." He told her with a small laugh.
"So are you guys, you know…" AJ awkwardly tried to ask the obvious question. He smiled when they both nodded.
"You can't tell anyone yet though buddy. We are going to wait a little while to tell people." JJ told him in a somewhat stern tone. He gave her a quick nod before hugging both of them with a big smile on his face the whole time. He wasn't ready for another dad, but he was ready for his mom to find someone she would be happy with.
AN: AJ and Garcia to the rescue. I figured that if someone was going to try to talk JJ into trying it could only be the wonderful Garcia. So what did you guys think, was it good? Did I rush into it a little fast? Let me know any reviews, good or bad are appreciated. Thanks for reading.