The door was slightly ajar again; so he let himself in and he actually sighed in relief when he saw all of Tony's furniture and stuff there and found the place neat and well-ordered, just the way Tony kept it.

The question now was what would he find if he looked for the younger man or how could he make up for what he'd said?!

The place looked empty again; just like it had when he'd first walked into it that... How long ago had he been there?

"Tony?" He called out and walked straight to the bathroom, where he'd last seen his agent and when he opened the door, he once again felt his heart clenched in his chest. Tony was there again; this time alive, if the rising and falling of his chest was anything to go by; because his eyes were closed and his head was leaned back against the wall. But he was there; the man he'd thought was gone forever was once again there and to Gibbs it was the thing that mattered the most.

He was back to square one, though; not knowing how to fix the thing he'd broken with his words; but at that moment he actually loved square one, because it meant Tony was alive and Kelly and Shannon had never hated him and Abby and McGee were alive, too and everyone else was right where they were supposed to be.

He still had his doubts about what he'd seen and experienced, but even if it hadn't been real, it'd been damn scary and he didn't want to experience it again and he had to admit that he'd seen things during those hours that there was no way his subconscious could've made up; believing was the easiest option right now and because of that, he was glad to be back to his old life.

He still didn't have a plan on how to take his words back or how to make the younger man actually believe his life mattered as much the others, if not more; because knowing DiNozzo, it was the internal damage that he always hid that'd be the hardest to fix. Still he needed to do something and decided to let his heart lead him for once. Without knowing what he was doing, he knelt beside his sleeping agent and pulled his head to his own chest.

Tony woke up instantly and tried to push back, but Gibbs only moved a hand to his back and held tighter. "Thank you. Thank you for being alive. Thank you." Despite his usual approach to things, he found himself murmuring those words aloud.

Tony's struggle quieted down for a second and Gibbs knew the younger man must be really confused, trying to figure out what was happening; pulling back only slightly, Gibbs stared him in the eye. "Thanks." He repeated.

"Boss?" Tony sounded uncertain and even a little bit frightened; not that anyone could blame him. Throughout his whole life, Tony'd never been hugged like that; by anyone; and now Gibbs of all people was doing it!

"And don't ever do that? You hear me?" Gibbs sounded almost broken, not really paying attention to how his uncharacteristic words and actions were scaring his agent.

"Do what?" Tony's frown deepened. Taking a look around, he was surprised to find himself in the bathroom and then suddenly the events of the previous night came back to him and he quickly pushed himself away from Gibbs. "God, Boss, you OK?"

Gibbs grabbed Tony's shoulder, not letting him get away. "I am now. But you're not allowed to do that again."

"Do what? Goddammit, Gibbs!" Tony growled; he was really worried now; had Gibbs finally lost it because of his grief? It sure seemed like it; he wasn't making any sense.

"You're not allowed to wish for death; to wish to trade your life for my girls or for anyone else. EVER. Is that clear?"

Tony's eyes widened and he paled.

"I'm sorry, Tony. I'm sorry for the things I said... last night;" He had to pause to remember when he'd said those things to Tony." but I didn't mean them. Your life is worth so much more. And the world is a better place with you in it. Dammit! Do you have any idea how many lives would've been lost if you haven't lived to this stage? Don't ever let me or anyone else make you think you're expendable or less worthy than other people."

Tony was sure Gibbs had lost it now; the man was apologizing repeatedly and he was using so many words to show he cared and... And he was openly showing he cared! But what scared him the most was that he didn't know how Gibbs had found out about his wish. Maybe him sleeping in the bathroom after his visit to Gibbs' basement was a clue, but he was sure even Gibbs shouldn't be able to know the exact things that had gone through his head; the wishes and the prayers.

"You listening?" Gibbs' sounded desperate.

Almost without his control, Tony's head moved, but instead of nodding, he was shaking his head.

Gibbs was surprised. "I broke you, didn't I?"

"Gibbs... What? You... I mean, you're not OK!"

"I am." Gibbs smiled slightly. "For the first time in years I actually think I am and..." He paused and held Tony's gaze. "It's thanks to you."

Tony was dumbfounded. He really was sure he was dreaming this; that or Gibbs was dying! "You dying?"

That actually caused Gibbs to burst into laughter; "No; I'm not." Shaking his head, he added, "And neither are you. That clear, DiNozzo? You can't die on me; not in the field and not here wishing for a chance to give your life up for my girls. You're needed and wanted here. Things happen for a reason." He said, repeating Kab-something's words and he was pretty sure he heard an annoyed growl in his head, as he once again failed to remember the angel's full name.

Raising an eyebrow, he waited for the younger man to give an indication that he'd heard him.

"DiNozzo!" He sighed when the younger man just stared at him.

"You're...-" Tony trailed off, unable to verbalize what he was thinking.

"I mean it." Gibbs said slowly. "And..." He paused; this was why he didn't talk much; he kinda sucked at this communicating thing with grownups. When he talked about things other than the job, he either screwed up like the previous night, or he sent the listener into shock because he couldn't bother with preamble. "Just tell me you heard what I said? I know I can't expect you to forgive and forget just like that, but-" He sighed. "You got what I said?"

Finally, after God knew how long, Tony's head tilted to the right and he said. "Uh...OK. Yeah." Tony still couldn't get what was happening, but he knew what the right answer was and he knew he should give it at that moment, until he could process the whole thing later in peace.

The corner of Gibbs' mouth went up. "Thanks."

"Would you stop? I didn't do anything." Now Tony sounded annoyed. "I don't know how you know about that wish, but I'm here and your girls are not."

"And I'm glad for that." Gibbs said firmly and before Tony could die of shock, he added, "Listen to me! I'm thanking you because you've always stood by my side and tolerated my temper no matter what and even after everything, you still put me and my needs ahead of yours; but you shouldn't do that; because you're more important and I mean it."

Tony wanted to point out that something was wrong, because Gibbs was talking way too much, using way too many words; but he couldn't even utter that; because not only was Gibbs talking too much; he kept thanking him and saying that he was important and maybe after the previous night, it'd be expected, but still, this much? Never!

"You think I've gone crazy, huh?" Gibbs chuckled as he leaned against the wall.

Tony nodded his head, knowing that his eyes were conveying the feelings anyway.

"I thought so, too." Gibbs shrugged. "But I don't care. All I know is that things could've gone down terribly wrong, if you'd died young and my girls had lived. So, I'm OK with the status quo."

"Oookay." Tony finally uttered, still sounding unsure. "Uh, thanks." He added after a second, feeling like it'd be inappropriate not to show any gratitude after so many things that the older man had said.

"Don't thank me for stating the truth, DiNozzo." Gibbs sighed. "You believe me, though, right? That I didn't mean those things?"

"I... Of course, Gibbs." Tony shook his head. "I knew you were in pain; I was never mad or upset; I just wish I could do something."

"Well, first of all, you should be mad and upset; but just know that I care and I'm glad you're in my life and that you've saved my life in more than one way. You've saved many lives that would've been lost otherwise. Second, you do help; by just being there and by just being you. So thanks."

Tony smiled finally, a small one, but a warm and real one; it reached his eyes and softened his features and totally warmed Gibbs' heart, too.

"Uh, can we, um, can we take the rest of this conversation to the living room?" Tony looked around uncomfortably.

Gibbs grinned. "Fine with me. I do like your living room with all those furniture and everything."

Tony raised an eyebrow. "Seriously, Boss; have you... Sorry for asking this, but have you taken anything other than a huge amount of alcohol?"

"Just a very hard headslap from the Guy above." The older man smirked at his own cryptic answer and enjoyed it when Tony eyed him suspiciously and went to the kitchen to turn on his coffeemaker, muttering things under his breath and shaking his head every few seconds.

Looking around the neat room, once again, Gibbs sighed with relief and then looked up. "Thanks." He mumbled quietly, because he had meant it when he'd told Tony that for the first time in years he actually felt fine and at peace. He'd learned to appreciate what he had and that apparently things happened for a reason. He'd never believe that terrible reality for his girls but he now knew that nightmare or not, he was glad that it was over and he understood that by wishing for the impossible -or well, the near impossible- he was giving up on what he had at the present and would lose it for something he wasn't sure what it was and it just wasn't fair to the others or his girls or him.

And hey, Tony was alive and still muttering incoherently in the kitchen; so yeah, he was fine and grateful for the first time in years.

"Hey, DiNozzo!" He called out as he eased himself into the comfortable couch. "Did you save a young woman and her child from a speeding car, back in 1991?"

The sound of mug falling from Tony's hand, crashing against the hard floor and a shocked 'what the-... How-?!' were all the answers he needed!

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The End...

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A/N: Yeah, that's it for this one. Let me know what you think?

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I don't own the show and its characters and all mistakes are mine.