By the time we're done with training for the day, I'm exhausted and the rest of my friends are even worse off. In fact, they're so tired that their backhanded comments about Levi have stopped, which I'm thankful for. It had been a long, long day between Levi's unending orders, his complete dismissal of me, and all of the things I had to listen to them say about him without being able to talk back.

No one talks to each other throughout dinner.

When we head off in different directions for bed, Armin gives me a gentle pat on the back and says, "Goodnight, Eren." Mikasa gives me a profound look, telling me that she's still worried about Levi harming me.

"I'm good, Mikasa," I smile. "Really. Night, see you guys tomorrow."

I walk to my room as quickly as I can manage, wanting to wash up and change. Levi always wants me to clean up before I come to his room. I can understand why. If I had grown up in such filth, feeling so dingy and inadequate all the time, I would try to stay put together, too.

I hurry into my room, strip my clothes off, and wash up, using the lukewarm water from the bucket I brought in this morning and the fresh rag I took from the laundry on my way back from dinner. I'm sore but I know that I'll be back to normal soon and I'm not letting some sore muscles get in the way tonight. I make sure to wash all the smelly parts really good—I don't want Levi to have anything to complain about.

Tonight's the night. I've been waiting and waiting for over a month now.

As soon as I'm fresh and clean to Heichou's standards, I pull on a new shirt and trousers. At the door, I peer out to make sure that no one is still roaming about the halls. All clear. A smile creeps up on my lips as I slip out into the hall and walk to Levi's quarters.

He answers the door shirtless, with just a pair of soft, sleep pants on. His hair is wet and muffed up. Just got done washing. I don't wait for him to say hello or invite me in—he gave me enough orders already today. I grab his head, one hand on each side and walk him backward with my kiss. It's a deep, strong kiss that sets Levi off guard. I can tell by the hitch in his breath and the way his hand comes up to touch my tummy for just a moment before flying backward, in search of something to lean on so he won't fall back on his ass. I steer him to the bed and crawl on top of him before breaking the kiss.

"Eren," he breathes, sounding surprised.

"Tonight," I say, pulling my shirt off again, over my head in one smooth motion. Levi's eyes flick over my chest and down to my stomach before coming back up to meet my eyes. "I'm ready. Come on, let's do it tonight."

Something tightens in Levi's jaw as he thinks it over. He's been stalling all this time, holding me off from going all the way because of the timing or the next day's training or my age or a headache or or or

"Tonight," I say again and I kiss any objection away from him. My hands traipse down his arms and onto his hips, lithe and strong underneath me. I sink my thumbs into the soft spot against the inside of his hipbones just he likes it and when he groans I feel a shiver of pride run through me.

"Ok, Eren," Levi whispers, pushing me off of him a bit so he can roll onto his side. The way he looks at me—honest and open, no heichou, nothing cold, just my Levi—I can't help but smile. "If you're ready."

"I am." I kiss him again, soft and sweet, letting my nose rub up against his and settle there, eyes closed, when our lips part. "Teach me how you like it."

"I never liked it."

That surprises me. My brow scrunches up and I search his expression for more explanation but he just lays there watching me with a pleasant expression. "But you said that we…" How do I phrase this right? "You said that we did things in the past."

"And you said that didn't happen for you yet."

"Yeah, but you didn't enjoy it? When we did it? I want to learn how you like it so I can do it right for you when I go there."

Levi licks his top lip and looks away for a moment. "When we did it, I penetrated you," he says frankly, looking back into my eyes.

I blink two or three times. "Ok, let's do it," I finally say. The idea makes me…nervous, but I can't let him see that. I can see that he's just as nervous to do it. Been nervous all month.

Levi sighs. He reaches up his right hand to brush my hair back from my forehead. "You're a child, Eren. Don't you see the problem I'm facing here?"

"But I want to do it," I assure him with a cocky little smile. "Besides, you said ok already so we're doing this." I shoot my hand down between his legs and grab playfully at his balls. Shit. I realize, running my fingers delicately over his cock. He's not even hard. Must be really worried.

As if it's an apology, he explains, "I don't want to hurt you, Eren. I don't want…to accidently take advantage of you somehow. Like—" His eyes go vacant and he shakes his head. When he speaks again it's so quiet that I have to stop moving my hand to hear him. "After what happened to me, you know. I don't want to hurt you, Eren."

The breath sucks right out of me. How could he even compare those two situations? Enough is enough of that. Gotta squash it. I pull him close to me again—as close as can be—until I can feel and hear the beating of his heart inside his chest. "You're not Kenny. You're Levi Heichou, and I love you and I want this and I want it with you!"

And with that my mouth and my hands are on him and over him—down his neck and his chest, our fingers intertwining—until he moves with me, until he moans into the crook of my neck, "Ok, babe." I trace the tip of my tongue down the line of his abs, stopping to suck at his belly button.

"Tch."

A soft little laugh comes out of from between my lips and onto his belly. Then my gaze shifts downward. "Can I?" He nods down at me and raises his hips up from the mattress so I can slip his pants down. My hands are trembling a little when I grasp him again—not because I don't know how this works. I've done this a hundred times on myself and Levi's let me take him in my mouth before, after days of begging. I don't know why I'm shaking. Maybe because I know where this will end up and that will be new.

I start tentatively. Usually I just swallow him up and try to give him as much pleasure as fast as I possibly can so that he won't get bored of me, but this time I want to take my time. I want to reassure him in every way that I want this—that I'm not just doing what he wants.

I lick a slow line up, from the back of his balls to the tip of his cock, hands on his thighs feeling him breath through it. "Mm, you good?"

A nod and an exhale is his answer.

I form a soft circle around the head with my lips and suck gently, letting the silky warmth of the inside of my lips tease him for a bit. At the same time my hand goes to work massaging Levi's balls. "Shit, Eren," he says, so I take him into my mouth fully and listen to the words change into a deep groan of pleasure. He's hard as a rock by now.

"Yeah, there you go," I encourage him, giving him a lippy little nip. I've gotten good at giving head over the past few weeks. He taught me well. I suck at him harder, bobbing my head up and down in a twisting motion along his length, just how he likes, making sure to keep my lips firm. He's thick but not terribly long and I almost never gag on his length. And if he does get into the back of my throat, I have to be careful not to gag by accident—he hates that. Reminds him of Kenny—I'd bet—though he hasn't said so out loud to me.

Another groan from Levi and I'm hard and throbbing painfully in my trousers. I raise my head up, letting his length slip out of my mouth. Before I get up, I plant another kiss on the tip. I know I must be flushed with need by now because my whole body is hot and desperate for him. That look in his eyes, the sexy haze of pleasure that comes on over his normally stoic countenance—it's perfection. "Heichou, will you touch me? Please?"

Levi props himself up on an elbow and bends forward to meet me. He kisses me again, gently massaging my tongue with his own before pressing his lips closed again. My eyebrows raise in surprise. He normally doesn't kiss me after I go down on him.

I feel his hand before I notice the movement of his shoulder. His thin fingers always feel amazing, touching me just right, making the world get small until there's nothing left but his eyes watching me—even through my clothing.

"You're really hard," he says. Obvious.

"I've been hard for awhile."

"Before you came over?"

"A bit."

He's kissing my neck—behind my ear—his hand slips under my waist band and his grabs my throbbing length and starts to stroke it firmly up and down. "Were you hard during training today, brat?"

Levi does something so amazing that I can't answer him right away. I just shake my head against him and grit back a moan.

"No? But you were thinking about it all day, right? Planning that ridiculous entrance."

"Ahhh, yeah," I manage, trembling into his hand. His lips are pulling on my earlobe. "Been wanting this for a month, now. You know that." His thumb brushes hard over the head of my cock and I can't contain that moan anymore. "You've kept me waiting a long time, asshole," I say, nearly beaming as the pleasure starts to completely take over.

With strong hands, Levi gently pushes me down onto the bed, freeing me completely from my pants as he does so. I'm naked, I realize vividly for the first time. I'm completely naked and he's staring at my body with those eyes.

He's going to fuck me.

"Levi—"

He raises an eyebrow when I break off and pauses in his ministrations. "Hmm?"

It's fine, Eren, you're fine. I assure myself. "Nothing. Keep going."

He doesn't buy it. "Are you ok? Did I do something?"

"No, keep going," I say forcefully, bucking my hips up into his hand. He does as I ask but he watches my face carefully for a moment. It's only when I moan again that he looks back to what he's working on. As he bows down to use his mouth, I feel pleasure simply from the anticipation. That Levi Heichou would do this for me…It's still surreal. And when I really feel him, his hot, sexy mouth—that pouty, mean mouth, snapping out orders at us all day—I melt into the bed.

"Ohhhhh Levi, oh my god."

He does things that I don't even understand how to do, not even in theory. I'm seeing stars almost at once. He must know that I'm too close for comfort because he pulls his mouth off and spends a few minutes mouthing at my balls until even that is too much.

I've never felt this much pleasure before. Not from any of the times I've touched myself. Not even from the times Levi and I had gotten this far before. This is different. I look down my chest with sex-hazy eyes to see Levi Heichou kneeling between my knees, nibbling on his lip as he pulls his head back and smiles at me.

"Good?"

"Yes, oh god, fuck yes."

I watch him nod. "Ok, babe," he says for the second time tonight. Yes, tonight's different. He's letting go 100% tonight, I can feel it. All of the other times were guarded. This is him. "Can I touch your ass?"

"Yeah." Yeah. Yes. Do it. I move my leg a bit so I can rub at his erection with my shin. That makes him close his eyes for a second. His hand moves down slowly, fingers ghosting over parts of me that no one has touched before. When his middle finger traces over the tight ring of my asshole, I swallow hard.

The finger touches me more securely now, going round and round in little circles, massaging the area until I relax a little. With his other hand, Levi is back to lightly pumping my cock, just enough to keep me hard.

Suddenly he makes a little face. What? I don't ask, I don't say anything, I just wait. After a moment, he wipes the pre-cum from the tip of my cock and carefully smears the sticky moisture onto my little hole. The feeling is odd. I must have shuddered a bit, because he asks again,

"Good?"

"Yeah, I'm ok. Keep going."

Levi makes the concerned face again and gently but forcefully pushes the tip of his middle finger past my puckered entrance. "Oh," I gasp, surprised by the feeling. We make eye contact and, oh, how deeply he's watching my expression for any sign of doubt or change in consent. "Feels weird," I say, curving the corner of my mouth into a nervous smile.

"Yeah…I don't have anything to use for you," he grunts. "Does it hurt?" His face is so open, so prepared for the "Yes! Stop! Don't touch me!" that he nearly looks like a child again. "Maybe we should wait until another day. I can find something to—"

"Fuck no!" I wriggle myself further down the bed, essentially impaling myself on Levi's finger. His face twists up in surprise. Shit it's weird. I can feel just how sensitive and smooth my inner muscles are for the first time—compared to the weathered skin of Levi's finger inside of me. He wriggles his finger gently, slowly pulling it out and pushing it back in again.

It doesn't really feel good, but it's not bad either. The hand that is still moving lazily along the length of my cock is nice and reassuring. I decide to focus on that feeling as the finger slowly works my ring of muscles into relaxation.

And then, just as soon as I'm starting to get used to the feeling, Levi pulls his finger out and takes his other hand away. "Here, turn over," he says with a light pat on my thigh.

What for? I reluctantly do as he says, careful not to appear reluctant, and settle back into the bed, lying face down with my arms folded up under my chest. I dislike this at once. My erection—now painful—is smooshed between my body and the bed, and I feel like an idiot with my bare ass hanging out for Levi to stare at.

His hands are touching my butt cheeks at once, kneading them in firm smooth motions that spread me apart. I stare at the pillow in front of me, eyes wide. "Good?" Levi whispers now. He has leaned down and kisses the small of my back.

I can't speak, I just nod.

"Oh!" I gasp when I feel it. He has spread me open with his hands and is licking my asshole in long strokes, and then circular ones, and then his tongue—wet and warm—presses into the opening! "Oh." I don't know how this feels. It's too new. With his thumb, Levi pulls my hole open a bit more, allowing his tongue to dig in even deeper.

I didn't think I liked it, but when he stops for a moment, I realize that I do. "Hump the bed," he instructs in the more intimate version of his Heichou voice that I get from time to time. A deep red flush takes over my face at the idea. I can feel myself burning up with embarrassment, but I do what he says, slowly rocking my hips into the sheets as he goes back to worshipping my hole. All at once, the feeling gets better.

"Ooo," I say, a confused little moan but it must encourage him because I feel the point of his chin against my balls when he nods. His thumb pries me open even wider, slipping in deeper alongside the soft flesh of his tongue.

I wish I could see it.

Then again…maybe I would be too embarrassed to handle that.

I keep on humping the bed as he instructed me too, letting the embarrassment pass and instead replacing it with the pleasure that is starting to build up between my legs. His tongue is growing on me, and despite the pinching pain I feel as his thumb goes in as far as it can, it feels pleasant too.

Levi removes his thumb and takes a minute to massage my balls once more before working two fingers into me. "Woah," I say warily, feeling him wiggle his fingers back and forth, stretching my hole wider and wider.

"Relax," he says, a sort of kind, quality to his voice that I haven't heard much before. It's his middle finger and index finger. Suddenly his middle finger goes in deep and touches something that makes me jolt forward.

"What the—"

"Good?"

I have to think about it…but yeah…"Yeah, good," I say, surprised. That felt really good. He does the motion again and my mouth falls open in shock. It's amazing.

Levi chuckles softly behind me, his other hand rubbing my thigh. "There's a spot in there that feels good. I'm glad I found it so fast." And now that he found it he doesn't let up, his middle finger keeps on rubbing at the spot while he works his ring finger into me as well. It's a stretch and I have to grit my teeth for a moment—more at the oddness of it than the pain.

"Still feel good?" Heichou asks, leaning down over me until I can feel his naked form against most of my body. His fingers keep on working me open, and his erection presses into crook of my ass and my thigh.

My breaths turn shaky. This is fast. This is new. I crane my neck to look at his face and find him watching me expectantly. "Yeah, feels good." I'm normally more of a talker, I realize, but it's hard to speak now. I smile instead and close my eyes when he brings his other hand up to caress my face.

"Still want to do this?"

I have to think about it for a moment, but not for too long. Of course I want it. I'm ready. Just because I'm nervous doesn't mean I'm not ready. "Yes, Levi, I'm ready. I've been ready for so long now," I breathe. "I love you," I say, groaning deep as his finger strokes the spot more firmly than before. "I love you so much, all I want is you."

"You have me, Eren," he says, and I hear the smile in his voice for once. He slips back off of me and takes his fingers out. "Roll back over, babe." I obey, rolling onto my back. My erection stands up, angry and red against my stomach. Levi bends to give it one last good pull before he grabs his own cock. It takes him a moment to line things up, and I can feel my heart chugging madly with the anticipation. The blunt, spongey head of his penis presses up against my loosened hole, but he doesn't push it in.

Instead, he bends over on all fours to kiss me again. "Good?" he asks when we part. Long strands of straight black hair tickle my forehead.

"Good. Go for it."

He penetrates me in one slow, smooth motion. The stretch is shocking. I can't breathe, I can't think. The only thing in existence is the thick, hard cock that is pulsating inside of my body. My expression must be terrible because Levi bows his head down, his forehead falling on top of mine.

"Fuck…" he groans long and slow. "Shit, sorry."

"I…I'm fine," I choke out. Holy fuck. I didn't think he was all that big before, but he feels absolutely massive inside of me. It's an impossible stretch, every breath is a challenge.

I hear him whispering over me, "Try to relax. It'll get better."

I nod absently, trying to focus on inhaling. It's hard, but it happens. Relax, relax, I tell myself.

"Can I move a little?" Levi asks. But then, with an audible wince, "Damn, Eren, relax. You're squeezing the shit out of me."

"Fuck, sorry." I'm trying desperately to relax but I don't know how to control those muscles—not like this. It hurts. I'm hurting him, too. Shit. He's inside of me.

"Eren."

I'm fucking this up. He's being gentle, he's doing it right, we took our time. And I'm fucking it all up because I can't relax. Calm the fuck down, Eren! Why does it hurt so bad? Oh my god, oh my god.

"Babe." Levi's sharp tone snaps me back to what is before me: him, naked, his thin, muscular arms holding me close, his pale, sweaty body pressed into mine. And his face, touching me, kissing me, saying, "Kiss me, kiss me, Eren, you're ok."

I do. I kiss him so long that I almost forget the intrusion into my body. He lets me go on kissing him as long as I like for once, and when I finally stop he says, "We can still wait if you want. I can stop."

"No," I whisper into his hair. I'm more relaxed now. I can do this. "I'm ok, now. Just…go slow."

He doesn't do me the disservice of asking a second time, he just nods and says, "I'm going to move now."

I brace my hands against Levi's chest as he begins to pull out. It's terrible. A strange scraping feeling that makes me a little nauseous. "Hang in there," he says encouragingly, reaching down to touch my cock again. I had gone almost completely soft at the initial shock of penetration, but before long he's got my erection back and it's starting to get better, just like he said.

I don't know what to say or how to feel yet, so I ask him a little weakly, "How is it?"

"Tch," he huffs out flicking me a quick glance before realizing that I'm serious. "Shit, Eren. It's—" He shakes his head. "You feel fucking amazing, babe. It's been so long," he groans, fucking into me a little harder than before as the pleasure starts to take him over. I grit back a noise of pain. Despite his constant attention to my erection, I'm still hurting pretty bad. "Gotta find it again," he says, starting to change angles. When I buck up and cry out in pleasure, he smirks at me and I go crimson. "There you go."

The head of his cock is so much thicker than the tip of his finger was. Another hard grind against my prostate and my eyes roll back into my head. "Oooooo Levi, fuuuck." His hand goes to work even harder on my cock, now fully hard and throbbing. The mixture of both pleasures has my head spinning in a matter of seconds.

I can feel myself falling apart stitch by stitch, become putty for him with each and every thrust. I see him watching my waist with a hungry expression, and realize that I'm fucking back onto him. I don't care. I can't think. I've never felt anything like this before.

"Go ahead and cum. I'm close," Levi grits, picking up the pace even more.

My hands are grasping, searching for anything to hold onto. They land on his biceps and I squeeze down hard, gasping with every thrust as my hips bounce wildly off of Levi's pelvic bone. All it takes is one flick of his thumb over the tip of my penis and I'm cuming into his hand with a muffled cry, burying my mouth in the muscle of my shoulder to keep from being discovered. A second later Levi pulls out of me and spurts hot, white fluid all across the heaving flat of my stomach.

We're both out of breath when he collapses into bed against my side.

Neither one of us speaks for a long time. The only sounds are those of our breathing returning back to normal. My asshole feels funny—sort of stretched. I wonder, somewhere off in the back of my mind, if it'll go back to normal.

After several minutes, once I'm snuggled up into the spaces of Levi's body, he asks one final time, "Good?"

"Amazing," I breathe against his neck. With my eyes closed, it feels like I'm floating.

"Everything you hoped it would be?"

"Much more."

It's my final, settling, contented sigh minutes later that must give me away, because Levi says, "Don't be falling asleep yet, brat. We have to clean up first."