Chapter 6

Family

With loud, clanking, heartbreaking thuds Beebee-Ate crashed down on the landing. Cursing, Poe rushed towards the droid, who let out a miserable, agonizingly slow sound, which was so close to a human groan, that it made Poe close his eyes for a moment. Kneeling down next to the droid, he felt his heart sink. Why on earth hadn't he seen to Beebe-Ate's sensors and fixed them as best he could. The droid, apparently disorientated, had fallen down the flight of stairs leading down from their apartment to the front steps, crashing heavily with its head on the white stone tiles.

"Hey, buddy", Poe whispered as soothingly as he could. "Are you alright?" Slowly turning the droid, so its head was up again, he saw the damage that had been caused and he felt his heart contract painfully in his chest before Beebee-Ate could even begin to express his dismay. The droid's sensor had cracked, not just once, but into what looked like a thousand tiny pieces. "Oh, kriffing hell...", he murmured as his hand patted the droid on the head. "I'm so sorry, I should've gotten your sensors fixed before now... " Why hadn't he? How could he have let this happen?

"Is everything okay?" Finn, still carrying one of the boxes, he had been about to take to the speeder outside, came running back in. "Oh no! Beebee..."

Poe looked up at him, as Finn set down the box on the ground and knelt down next to Poe and Beebee-Ate, whose head swivelled around wildly as if completely confused.

"Do you think he can be fixed?" The tone of voice in which Finn said these words made Poe's insides churn and Beebee-Ate beep downheartedly.

"Of course!" Poe said loudly. "I should've taken him to get repaired sooner..." He felt his heart sink even lower. What had he done? This droid was everything he had left from Morap, how could he have let this happen? Finn's hand on his shoulder did nothing to ease the guilt, which was making him almost dizzy. "He'll be fine, I guess...", he mumbled. "I'm going to turn you off now, okay? Don't worry, I'll take you to get repaired right now." With a sigh he looked up at Finn, after he had turned the tiny switch underneath the droid's head. "Will you be okay?"

Finn hesitated for a moment as realization hit him. He knew about Morap, of course. And he knew about Poe taking care of his dead boyfriend's droid after his passing. It had never played a role between them, but for some reason Poe felt like his emotional reaction to the droid's accident, had triggered something in Finn, which Poe had never wished to see there. Was it jealousy? Poe couldn't tell, but for once he was glad that Finn didn't know the role Morap still played in his dreams.

"There are only a couple of boxes left. You should go and get him checked out," Finn said quietly, putting an arm around Poe's shoulders. "I can manage."

Poe nodded slightly, kissing Finn on the cheek, and, lifting Beebe-Ate into his arms, he got to his feet, staggering slightly as he stood. He tended to forget how heavy the droid was and that he was out of shape as much as Finn. "I'll be back as soon as I can," he said to Finn, who stood up and picked up the box again.

He had taken Beebee-Ate to the mechanic, who was in charge of all the astromechs on the base on Chandrila. The Miralan going by the name of Lehcar had checked the Beebee-unit with a frown on his face, but her expression had quickly changed into one of astonishment. "Did you have him costum made?", she had asked.

Poe had shaken his head, telling her, that he had inherited the droid. She had apparently been wanting to ask who had built Beebee-Ate, a question to which Poe couldn't have given her a satisfactory answer. He didn't know. Maybe it had been Morap, who had built Beebee-Ate? Poe had never asked, though he knew that Morap's skill with any sort of tool was beyond terrible. Morap had been an excellent pilot, but a horrific mechanic. The very thought of him building a droid, a Beebee-unit at that, seemed next to impossible.

Lehcar's promise to get to working on Beebee-Ate as soon as she could, had made Poe feel sick to the pit of his stomach. This promise could mean everything and at the same time nothing at all, but he'd never give Beebee-Ate into the hands of someone he didn't trust fully and completely. Lehcar's abilities with droids was widely known among X-Wing pilots, though her schedule must be packed with droids she needed to repair and update. Since the war with the First Order had ended seven years ago, the Republic's navy had not been downsized further, but rather expanded as best they could, in case a new enemy emerged, but military funds had been low and new equipment was hardly ever bought, especially for the training base on Chandrila.

As Poe pulled up to the house, in front of which Finn's speeder was still parked, he felt a wave of relief wash over him. There was nothing he could do about Beebee-Ate right now anyway and worrying about spilt milk wouldn't get him, or Finn, anywhere. He'd just have to find a way, once and for all, to deal with this horrible feeling of guilt and get on with things. With a sigh, he realized, not for the first time, that he'd told himself this very same thing over and over again to no avail. At least, he thought, he still had Finn, who was probably waiting for him inside and even though they had their problems, and even though he was constantly worrying about his father's condition, he knew that things would work out. Somehow.

The apartment was as empty as it had been the day they had moved in and Poe felt a hundred years older looking at it now after they had made so many memories in here. Fights over things he couldn't even remember, nights spent watching a nonsensical thriller on the Holo-Net, hours which would remain with him for the rest of his days and which were among the happiest of his life. This apartment symbolized the years he had been allowed to spend with Finn so far. Time, which he wouldn't want to exchange for anything in the world.

And yet he had done just that. He and Finn were abandoning this place to live somewhere else. At this very moment it felt like a deep cut in his life, and then he realized that moving out of here actually meant moving on. Moving on to a future with Finn, which he would never have imagined he could have, ten years ago. And now here they were. About to embark on the next big adventure.

He found Finn lying on the floor in the very spot where their bed had been until the day before. They had taken it up to the house then and had slept on a mattress, which was now stowed away in the trailer behind Finn's speeder. Finn was lying on his back, hands folded over his stomach, his feet tapping against each other in a steady rhythm. To see him lying here like this, utterly relaxed, made Poe smile.

"Tired already?", Poe unable to hide the smirk in his voice and Finn elevated his head ever so slightly, so he could look at Poe.

"Don't talk to me about being tired, old man."

Smiling to himself, Poe strolled over to his boyfriend and lay down beside him, his head on Finn's chest. How often they had lain here together, staring up at the ceiling, immersed in talk after a long day of work, or a rather enjoyable time spent in each other's arms. Finn put his arm around Poe's chest, pulling him closer.

"I can't believe we're actually doing this," Finn mumbled. "Moving out."

Putting his hand on Finn's arm, Poe nodded slightly. "I know what you mean," he answered softly. "That's exactly what I was thinking when I came in here." Finn's soft skin under his fingertips was warm and eerily calming. Just touching Finn tended to have this blissful effect.

"What did Lehcar say about Beebee-Ate? Can she fix him?"

"Of course she can," Poe said, taking Finn's hand in his. For a moment it was, as if Morap's name was hanging in the air between them, but maybe it was just Poe's imagination.

"How long is it going to take?"

Poe shrugged, trying to shake the feeling of unease. "She couldn't say," he answered. "Too many droids to repair on the base at the moment." Finn's fingertips slowly made their way under the neckline of his shirt, so his hand rested lightly on Poe's chest, directly over his heart. As always being held like this, feeling Finn's chest expanding underneath his head with every breath the other took, was calming like nothing else could be. Poe closed his eyes, revelling in the warmth spreading through his body.

After the talk with his father, after they had abandoned the attempt at cooking and decided on ordering a hot meal from the droid service, Poe had gone outside to join Finn underneath the Force tree. They had lain there, looking up at the leaves dancing lazily in the wind much like they were looking up at the ceiling now and Poe had filled Finn in on what father had just told him. About the illness, his refusal to talk, or do anything about it. About what he suspected of Finn's past. Finn hadn't said anything at this revelation. Nothing. Not a word. For a seemingly endless minute they had just remained silent, until Poe had reached out to Finn, drawing circles on Finn's lower arm, enjoying the touch of his soft skin. Then Finn had started talking. About Poe. About Poe's father and about how they had to respect his wishes until Kes Dameron finally came to his senses and Poe hadn't breached the subject of Finn's parents again. Why Finn didn't want to talk about it, however, Poe couldn't even begin to understand.

"Beebee will be fine. It might just take some time. And I won't have to go to work for another week, so I won't be needing him." He immediately regretted what he had said, the moment the words had stumbled over his lips and he fell silent. It wasn't like he needed Beebee-Ate. He just needed the droid. Desperately. Beebee-Ate was a part of his past which he couldn't just erase, and not only because the astromech had been Morap's, but also because Beebee-Ate and him had gone through thick and thin together. They had worked for the New Republic, had fought alongside the Resistance, had been captured by the First Order and had helped the New Alliance destroy the First Order once and for all. No, Beebee-Ate was much more than just a droid, more than a tool he needed on his X-Wing. Beebee-Ate was his companion, his co-pilot and, as weird as it sounded to even think about it: Beebee-Ate had become his friend, as far as friendship between a machine and a sentient being could go. Of course he knew that the personality chip inside Beebee-Ate was the only reason Beebee-Ate behaved like he did, was as loyal as he was, but that didn't change the fact, that Poe and Beebee-Ate made one hell of a team and Poe had grown very, very attached to the foul mouthed, sarcastic droid.

"You'll miss him though," Finn added, almost helpfully.

Poe nodded. Yes, he would. He would miss the constantly beeping droid terribly. "Me too." He sighed.

"Only one week left to get settled. Doesn't seem to be enough."

"Finn?" Poe was glad that he didn't have to look Finn in the eye as he said this, but he held on tighter to Finn's wrist, just in case Finn really didn't like what Poe was about to suggest. "Don't you think we should go to Birken Six?", he asked quietly and felt Finn tense up underneath him almost at once. Had he already said too much? Probably, but Poe wouldn't row back, not when he felt that Finn finding out more about his family could be so very important!

Finn didn't speak for a while. For a moment Poe felt like the silence between them would turn icy cold, but still he made no attempt to break it. Finn had to say what was on his mind and Poe wouldn't do it for him.

"I don't want to continue somewhere, where I can't pick up," Finn murmured finally and Poe let out a breath. Not because he liked what he heard, but because Finn had brought up the courage to talk. Poe had always admired this about Finn. The ability to speak up, when the silence between them was growing thick.

Poe turned around, so he was looking at Finn, his hands on either side of Finn's body. Finn didn't look at him, just kept staring at the ceiling. "I'm pretty sure that you'll do just fine," Poe assured him, though he also knew that Finn had probably hoped that this discussion was over. But it wasn't. Not by a long shot. "I want to go looking for your family."

"I don't want that family," Finn said sternly and Poe felt like he could see the struggle on Finn's face. The struggle to force himself to look back at Poe. When he finally did, there was a tenderness in his eyes, which made Poe's insides flutter. A tenderness, which Poe had not expected to see there. Not now, anyway, when he was expecting a fight. It took him off guard. "I want a family of my own," Finn continued, touching Poe's cheek with his hand and gingerly brushing his hand through Poe's greying hair. Poe felt his heart miss a beat. What was happening here? "With you." Finn sat up a bit and pulled Poe's face closer to his. Before Poe could say a word, his lips were sealed by Finn's light kiss, which didn't make him want more but for time to stop. To stop this very moment, so he could savour it forever. But it didn't. Of course it didn't. Nothing ever did. "If you want that. If you will have me."

"Finn," he mumbled, unable to string any words to that one syllable. He remembered telling his father about this. About being with Finn forever. About marrying him. And here it was. That moment, he had been waiting for and which he had been dreading all those years, and he couldn't say anything, but Finn's name, whisper it over and over again, while he leaned over, kissing Finn's lips, his jaw, his brow, his nose. Every utterance of the name followed by a kiss.

Finn's giggling made him stop. "Is that a yes?"

Poe pulled back a bit, so he could look Finn in the eye. "Of course it is," Poe said quietly. "You know it is." A crooked smile spread over his face, as he reached up, to touch Finn's lips with his index finger, signalling Finn not to interrupt him. "But I want to go to Birken Six. I'm not saying that you have to bond with them, if we find them. It's not even certain they were ever there." Finn breathed in, obviously about to speak and Poe kissed him firmly on the mouth, interrupting Finn's attempt at protesting. "What I'm saying is," he continued, "is that we should go and check it out. How would you feel if our child ever asks you where you're from and you have to tell him, or her, that you had a chance to find out, but didn't?"

Finn's eyes narrowed slightly, but he seemed to be lost for words. Poe felt a smirk pull the corner's of his mouth upwards. He knew that he had won this argument. Finn's gaze was stern and almost angry, but he was apparently at an impasse, unable to argue or prevent this whole thing from happening.

"Fine!" Finn said, with an exasperated smile after what felt like an eternity. "But you have to promise me, that you're not making me stay there if I want to go home."

Poe nodded. "I promise."

A/N: So... what do you guys think?