Chapter 7

Promises

An ancient relic. That was what his father had called it. An ancient relic from a time long gone. What it was exactly, Morap Bendar couldn't say. He had never seen anything like it. Not really. It looked a bit like the gems on his mother's jewellery, but not quite. It looked rougher than the stones his mother wore around her neck on special occasions. But still, this stone attracted him like nothing else did and Morap couldn't walk past his parents' bedroom without pausing to look longingly at it. Just like he did now. He was standing in the doorway, arms hanging limply at his sides and staring at the dresser on which the stone was lying on display like the trophy of a conquest from a different time.

Morap had never been to a museum, but he felt like what he was feeling now must be similar to what his mother had told him about seeing a painting in real life for the first time and being pulled towards it. It had never been this strong before. This urge to go into his parents' bedroom and touch the object, to which he had no right. And yet... if he was only going to touch it, surely his parents wouldn't object! After all his father wanted him to invest more time in the Empire's and also the First Order's history and this stone was obviously part of that history. Meelan Bendar had given it to his wife about a year ago, after a successful business had been concluded with one of the organization's trading partners. The stone had been a gift to his wife Nataleeh, who had put it on display in their room immediately. Morap had been allowed to touch it then and ever since, for some strange reason, he felt like it called to him. This piece of natural art, this historic object of white crystal, was calling for him, like no inanimate object ever had and today it was stronger than ever before.

Tentatively Morap set foot in the room, slowly making his way past the bed towards the dresser. With every step he took, he felt like he slipped more and more out of his body and though the sensation chilled him to the bone, he couldn't stop. He wouldn't stop. Not until he held the crystal in his hand. Morap kept staring at it. At the rough, glassy crystal, which couldn't be bigger than the nail of his thumb. His eyes were burning and his heart seemed to have stopped as he stood before it, feeling the strange tingling sensation in his fingertips. Slowly he reached for the crystal and when he touched it, he felt a pleasant warmth spread from his fingers, to his arm and then through his entire body. He couldn't help himself. Quickly he closed his hand around it and lifted it off the display holding it in place. It was his! Or at least it felt like it was. His and his alone. It was as if an invisible bond between himself and this crystal had been established and it terrified him beyond anything he had ever experienced. How could anyone be this attracted to an inanimate object! It was just a thing after all! And yet... to Morap it felt like he had found something that had been missing from his body – no, his soul! His very being seemed to tremble as he looked down at the crystal in his hand. It was cold and yet warm at the same time and it fit snugly in there like nothing ever had. Not even the pencils he used to draw with. They were an extension of his hand, but this thing felt like more. He felt like this thing, and he couldn't even begin to explain or even understand it, might lead him somewhere else.

Suddenly there was an emptiness inside him, which made him ache for more, though he didn't know what exactly this more might be. He was afraid. Afraid of the void in front of him. Afraid of what was going on, of what was happening to him and yet at the same time, he felt a calm spread through him like he had never felt before. As he heard his mother entering the main room next door and her voice calling out to him, he quickly slipped the hand, which was holding the crystal, into his trouser pocket.

"Morap?"

He slowly made his way towards where her voice was coming from. She was standing at the table, her swollen belly barely visible underneath the sweeping dress she was wearing. She was looking down at the drawing he had been working on. It was lying on top of the datapad he should have been looking at before going to the kitchen unit to drink a cup of water. He hadn't been able to resist looking at the crystal as he had passed his parents' open bedroom door though. He shouldn't get as sidetracked as he did, he knew. But he constantly did, and he couldn't help it.

Nataleeh looked up, as he approached her, a wide smile on her lips. Her dark brown eyes were twinkling, almost mischievously. "You'd better not let your father see that you've been drawing again instead of studying. You know how important he thinks it is that you learn about the Empire's history." She winked at him and Morap let out a relieved sigh. He was glad that she understood, at least to some extent that he needed to do other things which had nothing to do with his father's business.

"I'm going to put it away later," he assured her smiling and holding on tightly to the crystal in his hand. She didn't know about his interest in the crystal and he wouldn't tell her either. Not now anyway. Not until he had found out what was going on here. "Can I go outside?" The question was obsolete of course. In the afternoon the children on their base usually met outside and the adults even encouraged this. Exercise, to them, was just as important as formal education.

Nataleeh nodded, picking up the drawing of the Askija herself. "Go ahead, and please say hi to Embee for me, won't you?"

Nodding, Morap tried to appear as nonchalant as possible as he turned around and made his way to the door. The crystal was still warming the palm of his hand while remaining cool at the same time.

"I've got you, rebel scum!" Embee, who was called Mara Blanche by all but him, was barely able to contain a smile, as the bigger girl threw her to the ground. Morap only glanced up quickly, when he felt Embee's eyes on him. She was grinning broadly now, as always unable to keep a straight face in this game of "Rebels and Warriors" the children on base liked to play. Morap himself had never been particularly fond of this game, but he participated often enough. Two people chose teams and then the two leaders tossed a coin to determine which team was going to represent the Empire and which team the Rebel Alliance. Morap didn't like these military games, though he'd never say as much to his father, who would be very disappointed if Morap ever said this aloud and the last thing Morap wanted to do was disappoint his father.

The first round of the game was over and the teams were regrouping on the lawn. Morap heard their excited talk more than he saw them. He wasn't paying attention to them, just kept sitting there with his back against his favourite tree and looking down at the crystal he was holing in his hands, shielding it from view as best he could. If someone saw him with it, there would be questions, and he didn't want to talk. He only wanted to look at it. To hold it tight and to feel this strange, ever growing and yet satisfying emptiness inside of him.

He only looked up, when he heard someone approaching him on light feet. There, standing in front of him, in her white shirt with the dark trousers, every child on base wore, was Embee, her black chin-length hair, tousled by the game. Even though she was three years younger than he was, she usually managed to get him to do things he wouldn't usually do. She was the only one, apart from his father, who managed to get him to play the other children's rough games.

"Don't you want to come and play with us?", she asked, her hands on her hips, accusing him of being a spoil sport just by looking down at him.

Morap shrugged, but held on even tighter to the crystal. "Not today," he answered and instead of questioning him further, Embee sat down next to him, her criticism apparently forgotten in an istant.

"What do you have there?", she asked. Of course she had noticed that he was holding something and of course she wanted to know what it was. Shaking his head, he pressed the hand holding the crystal to his chest.

"Hey! Kayla! Bendar! Aren't you guys coming?" Yujeen Cateer, a boy roughly Morap's age, had turned around to them and was now walking in their direction. Morap sensed that this boy wanted trouble. They had never gotten along, but somehow, today, Morap didn't feel like confronting him. Not if it meant that he might reveal his secret discovery. Yujeen wouldn't understand, he'd try to take the crystal away from him! At the very thought Morap felt a knot form in his throat.

"Just leave us alone!", Morap told him, when Yujeen was so close that he didn't have to shout. His father didn't approve of shouting as means of defence, he knew. He was surprised at how firm his voice was, when he didn't feel strong or confident at all. But Yujeen didn't stop. He kept walking towards them and the closer he got, the more Morap felt his heart rate pick up. He jumped to his feet and, ignoring Embee, walked straight towards the forest. He didn't turn around, just kept walking, past bushes and infinitely high trees. He heard Yujeen call out for, him and started running. He didn't want to be with the other children, didn't want their company or their stupid games and most of all, he didn't want Yujeen to take the crystal from him. The boy was so much bigger than him. So much stronger and so determined to prove himself. To prove to everyone who met him, that he was stronger and more capable than anybody else and Morap hated him not for that, but for being everything Morap was not.

Only when he felt like his lungs would burst, when he had to fear that the crystal would slip through his sweaty hands, did he stop and with a groan, and collapsed onto the grass. He had never gone this far into the forest, at least not alone, though he felt like he had been in this very place before. Maybe in a dream?

This happened occasionally and he thought that maybe it had something to do with his love for drawing and imagining scenes, even when he was sleeping. He recognized the tall trees, the lush, dark green grass and the purple flowers all around him. He even remembered the sound of the rustling leaves overhead and the feeling of the last rays of sunshine on his skin. Trying to catch his breath, Morap closed his eyes tightly. Trying to find differences with the scene around him and the dream would only cause a violent headache and he didn't want that. He knew that running away from a potential flight, with nightfall so close at hand, would get him into trouble, but he couldn't focus on that either.

Morap took one deep breath. His hair was sticking to his forehead and he brushed it away, feeling the rough edges of the crystal on his skin. He had never experienced the urge to run before. To be alone with something and do absolutely nothing with it. There was nothing you could do with a thing like this one. He swallowed hard and let a wave of empty warmth wash over him and he felt engulfed by something, which seemed to contain everything in his surroundings and something strange and unknown even beyond that, though he couldn't put a finger on what it was that he felt. There was a sudden weight, pressing down on his chest. A weight, that had no outward appearance. A sadness, mixed with joy he had never felt before. Blinking, he opened his eyes and wasn't at all surprised to feel tears slide down his cheeks. Barely able to suppress a whimper, he sat up slightly, when he heard footsteps. Embee. Of course. She had followed him, though he couldn't say for how long he had been lying here.

Morap let himself fall back into the grass and closed his eyes again.

"Morap!?" She hadn't seen him yet. Her voice was full of fear and that was something he couldn't stand. She shouldn't be afraid, not when there was no real reason to be.

"I'm here!", he called out to her, but didn't open his eyes. He already heard her crashing through the underbrush and then lie down in the grass not far away from him.

"What do you have there in your hand?", she asked softly. "Is that why you ran away?"

Morap took another deep breath and opened his eyes. He didn't exactly mind her asking these questions, he didn't even mind her company. Far from it. She was his best friend, despite their age difference. "Yeah...", he mumbled and turned around, so he was lying on his stomach. Embeee was lying in the same position, not far away from him, propped up on her elbows, her dark blue eyes almost sparkling in the reddish sunlight. She was smiling encouragingly.

"Is it a holo?"

Morap forrowed his brow and pulled his hand forward and when he saw the green glow emanating from inside his hand, his heart missed a beat. His eyes wide open, he stared at the crystal, now glowing brightly green. Suddenly there was a lump in his throat and he was barely able to breathe. How did this happen! Only moments ago the crystal had been clear, and now it was glowing from the inside, bathing his skin in an eerie light and still he didn't feel the urge to let go, to just let it fall to the ground to be lost amidst the growing grass.

"May I?" Embee said, seemingly unafraid of what was happening and she stretched out a tentative hand towards the crystal Morap was holding. "What is it?", she asked breathlessly, gently touching the crystal's surface with her fingertips and brushing Morap's hand with hers. He suddenly felt a wave of affection for her and he took her free hand in his as if this was the most natural thing to do. It was, somehow, but this time it was different.

"I don't know," he whispered. "I've never seen anything like it." His hand held on even tighter to hers and all of a sudden he was unwilling to let go. There was something in this touch he could describe even less than the thing that had happened with the crystal.

"Where did you get it?" She looked from the crystal to him and raised an eyebrow, suddenly looking a whole lot like her mother, who was his father's right hand and kept to the rules like few others on base did. Sadrina Kayla was truly one of the most devoted officers in their operation, or at least that was what his father always said. Morap always thought that was because Embee's father had been killed by the rebels, but he had never asked Embee about what her mother said about Dopheld Mitaka, though Morap remembered his father talking about him with something like pity in his voice. All of this, all of those thoughts about the First Order, the Empire, their operation and the other children on the base, which were so different from Morap, didn't seem to matter anymore. All that mattered were Embee and her support. And Morap knew that she supported him. Knew it, like he knew that the sun would rise the next day.

"I want to get married to you, when we grow up," he said bluntly. "If that's okay with you." Saying these words felt weird somehow, but he knew them to be true. She was his friend and moreover she was a girl, and what other conclusion but marriage could there be? For a moment he could almost sense another dream coming, but the feeling vanished as quickly as it had come.

Embee laughed out loud, showing a gap between her teeth. "Okay," she said, lowering her hand and leaning over to kiss Morap on the cheek.

Morap nodded. This was settled then. He looked down at the crystal and gave Embee's hand a tiny squeeze, when a sudden, deep rumbling noise, made him flinch. His eyes met Embee's and they both thought the same thing at the very same time.

"Was that...", she began and Morap nodded again. He quickly got to his feet, stuffing the crystal deep into his trouser pocket. Embee's hand still clutched in his, he slowly approached the place where the sound had come from. Careful not to break any twigs underneath their feet, they passed the tree line and made their way towards the sound, which was now joined by quiet wailing noises and then there was silence. Morap looked down at Embee and saw immediately that she was just as nervous as he was, though neither of them was willing to go back to their clearing. This might be the chance of a lifetime. Morap could already see the shimmering tail and he'd be damned if he walked away now. His heart beating wildly in his chest, he crouched down on the forest floor, Embee next to him doing the very same thing and together they crawled closer to the place where the sounds were coming from. Ahead of them, their view obscured by lush, deep green ferns, they could see the Askija, its head and tail the only bodyparts protruding from the crack in the rough wall of stone, which stretched around their part of the valley in an almost perfect semi circle.

Morap had never seen one of them this close before and he stared at it with his mouth open. Embee's hand lay lightly in his now and he knew, that she was staring at the creature with the same fascination as he was. The Askija, he knew, could be dangerous. He had seen it catching prey before, after all. But this one wasn't dangerous. He knew that much, though he didn't know how. Somehow, all of a sudden, the world seemed to have come into sharper focus, and he was more aware of his surroundings than ever before.

The green and blue specimen in front of them laid down it's pointed head on the soft grass and suddenly a wave of hot, smelly air hit Morap's face, as it sighed on contentment. It's purple eyes blinked in the sunlight, before it opened its sharp beak with its pointed teeth and yawned loudly. Only now did Morap see that the pointed end of the snout around the nostrils was covered in glistening scales, which were obscured by more and more silky feathers the further the skin stretched out towards the eyes. Morap was sure that he had never seen anything as beautiful in his life and was just about to whisper this observation into Embee's ear, when three minute creatures came crawling from underneath the Askija's wing, screeching in shrill voices, their white scales and feathers shimmering brightly in the sun. Morap clasped a hand over his mouth to stop himself from gasping. It was a female! A female, circling the valley and their base every night and bringing up its young in this very place.

Morap quickly glanced at Embee, when one of the young tried to jump over one of its siblings, but its feet caught on the other Askija's snout and it fell face down into the grass. Barely able to hold back the laughter, Morap bit down on his lower lip.

The mother's head snapped to attention and Morap felt a sudden cold wash over him, when he heard the snapping of twigs behind him. The person hadn't reached them yet, but whoever it was, would do so very soon. "Morap!"

The boy flinched and jumped to his feet, pulling Embee with him, and slowly made his way backwards, as the Askija's eyes suddenly darted into their direction. Morap felt his heart sink and he quickly pushed Embee behind him. It was as if time had stopped. As though the universe had ceased to move around them and a trembling, unlike anything he had ever experienced took hold of him, as the Askija slowly made its way out of the cave, protecting its young with its body and apparently sensing the danger the intruders posed. Morap's breath quickened and he felt Embee stumble, behind him, as his father crashed through the underbrush.

Meelan Bendar's face was flushed, glistening with sweat and his eyes were focused on the creature approaching the children with a blood curdling snarl, her sharp teeth bared, the eyes sparkling with something, which made Morap want to turn around and run. Before he knew what was happening, before he could act, the Askija was crouching down low, ready to pounce and attack with its knifelike claws, when a bright red beam of light broke through the air, hitting the Askija right between the eyes. It collapsed without a sound on top of its young. Morap let out a scream of protest, as he felt like a rip had just gone through his very soul, cutting so deep, that it was as if the laser beam had just sliced through his very being, forcing him to crush the tiny beings beneath him.

Hot tears were streaming down his face, as his father's hand whirled him around on the spot, forcing him to look into the face of the man he never wanted to disappoint. An icy fury seemed to take hold of Morap. Didn't his father feel it? This emptiness? This terrible nothing, stretching out in front of them.

"Are you alright?" Meelan's eyes were wide and even though Embee was quietly sobbing next to Morap, Meelan only had eyes for his son.

No, would have been the honest answer. No, he wasn't alright. His father had just killed one of the most beautiful creatures in the galaxy, forcing its heavy body to crush the innocent which it had meant to protect from an enemy it had no chance of defeating. "Let go...", he whispered, unable to focus on his father's face and trying to break free of his father's iron grip.

"Morap!" Meelan's hands were both on his shoulders now, shaking his son with a force, which made Morap stumble. Morap looked at the ground, unable to look his father in the eye. He had killed. Killed, when it could have been avoided.

Sighing, Meelan finally let go of him and the silence growing between them, only underlined the sudden quiet in the forest. The lack of high pitched screeching.

"Are you alright, Mara Blanche?" His father's voice was soft, but Morap heard the tension he was trying to cover up.

A quiet sniffling sound, was all the answer Meelan needed.

"General!?" A panicky woman's voice reached them, before black, muddy boots entered Morap's field of vision.

"They're okay, Captain," Meelan said, his hand still holding Morap's arm as if he'd never again let his son go.

From the corner of his eyes Morap saw his father pat Embee's cheek, before her mother fell to her knees in front of the girl to wrap her tightly in her arms. "We've been looking for you forev- Oh my... General?"

Morap slowly lifted his head to see Captain Kayla's eyes widen in shock as she spotted the dead animal. Morap quickly looked down at the ground again. At his father's boots amid the green grass, which should have been splattered with blood. He could still smell the ozone from the laser beam in the air. Could still feel the rumbling within the depths of the forest. The darkness creeping up on him.

"We should take them home," Meelan said, his voice firm. "It's getting dark." He straightened up again and put his hand on Morap's shoulder. Morap felt Embee's eyes on him, but he didn't look up again to meet her gaze. He couldn't. He didn't want her to see him cry like a baby.

The walk back to the base didn't take as long as Morap would've thought it would, though the weight of his father's hand on his shoulder made him wish it were already over. He couldn't even look up at this man, who had surely saved his life, but had also destroyed other lives in the process without even the slightest sign of hesitation. Without even sparing a second to think about the consequences of what he was doing. As inconspicuously as possible Morap wiped his teary eyes with the sleeve of his shirt, which was now smudged with grass stains and earth. He couldn't hold back a suffocating sob, when the grey building came into view and his father stopped in his tracks.

"See you tomorrow, Morap!" Embee's voice wasn't as cheerful as usual, but it made Morap look up nonetheless. She was smiling slightly at least. That was something, he thought, but her mother grabbed her firmly by the arm, pulling her towards the side door leading to the living quarters of officers.

Morap lifted a hand, waving unenthusiastically at her. He was sure, that he wouldn't be allowed to see her for a while. When the door had closed behind them, he finally managed to force himself to look up at his father again. His face was still wet with tears, but he didn't mind.

"What were you thinking?", Meelan said quietly, and the calm tone of voice was harder to take than outright anger. His father was very good at this sort of thing. At making him feel bad without raising his voice even a bit.

"I-" How could he even begin to explain? About the crystal? About his curiosity? Morap shoved his hands into his trouser pockets and shrugged. "I was just curious, that's all."

"Curious..." Meelan snorted disapprovingly. "Do you even realize what could've happened out there? To you? To Mara Blanche?"

"Embee and me would've been fine if you hadn't shown up!" There it was again. This anger fighting the resignation and he couldn't hold it back any longer. "You killed her! Her and her babies!"

He could see his father fight for countenance, could see the nostrils flare, but for once he didn't care.

"Why couldn't you just-"

"Morap!" His father's sharp voice cut through the air, freezing Morap in place. His eyes were as cold as Meelan had never seen them before and he fell silent, though his hands were trembling in his pockets. "I don't want you to do this ever again! You endangered yourself, but also someone else without any need! One of your friends on top of that!"

All of a sudden all tension left Morap's body and he slumped back against one of the trees. He just couldn't stand upright anymore. His knees felt weak and he slid down the rough bark, sitting down on the grass, which was cold and damp by now. But he didn't care. Not one bit. He shrugged. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, though he wasn't. Not really. He wasn't sorry about running off. Not sorry about getting a chance to discover this strange thing about the crystal he was still holding.

As his father knelt down in front of him, Morap looked up again, and when he saw that his father's eyes had softened somewhat, he felt tears pricking behind his own again. Of course he knew, that his father had only meant to protect him and Embee. He hadn't had time to consider the fact that he might kill the Askija's children in the process of saving his own son.

"Good." Meelan said, nodding. His voice had become somewhat softer as well. "Why did you run off anyway?"

Morap shrugged, unable to tell his father that he had stolen his mother's crystal as well. "Embee and I wanted to play on our own." It was a lie, but he could live with that.

Sighing, Meelan sat down next to Morap and put an arm around his son's shoulders. "I was really worried about you, you know?" Morap nodded slightly, unable to say anything in response. "But I must say I'm kind of glad that Mara Blanche is such a good friend to you. Even after today she wants to see you again tomorrow."

Morap looked up at his father, but before he could ask, Meelan had shaken his head.

"No, you're not going outside for the rest of the week, my boy. You're not getting rewarded for what you've done today. You can't just run off into the forest to play with your friend, as you should very well know." Meelan was directly looking at him, and though his expression was stern, there was a softness in his eyes, which made Morap's insides clench.

"She's not just my friend!" Morap declared. "I'm going to marry her one day!"

Meelan's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "I'm sorry, what?"

"You heard me!" Morap said decidedly and nodding to underline what he had just said. "She's the best and I love her!"

The light chuckle coming from his father was the last thing he had expected and Morap wrinkled his brow in response. His father was laughing at him! That was beyond unfair! "Don't laugh!", he said angrily.

Meelan ruffled his hair and pulled him closer, his strong arm almost choking him. "You're nine years old! Don't make promises, you don't know you can keep."

"I'm almost ten!" Morap protested. "I know what I'm doing."

His father laughed quietly. "Of course you do."

A/N: Sorry this took so long: I was really busy with schoolwork and so has my betareader. Thank you for your patience and a huge thank you goes out to my friend AuroraLynne, who drew a wonderful picture of Morap and Embee 3