Hi everyone!
Here's another chapter, now I'm gonna take a break and spend a few days with my family. Happy Easter!
I know I'm really cruel sometimes, but Blaine is not a bad guy, he just said the wrong words. And now he's suffering.
Kurt felt really badly in the next few days. After his talk with Blaine he walked for hours in the night before returning home and he cried himself into sleep. He thought it'll be better with time but it just got worse. He decided to go back to work, so he had less time to think about the baby.
Blaine tried to call him a million times but he never answered his calls and avoided the text messages, too. Blaine wrote that he was sorry and he wanted to talk to Kurt but the man was still angry with him. He couldn't believe Blaine said those cruel things.
He was sitting in his office, trying to come up with a good idea for his next article when his phone beeped again. He sighed, knowing very well who the text was from.
Please, forgive me.
He sighed again and deleted the message Blaine sent him and turned back to work. It was hard to concentrate with his memories from that night coming back into his head, so he decided to take a break and get himself a cheeseburger. All he was able to eat in the last days was cheeseburger. He knew it wasn't good, it wasn't healthy, but his baby wouldn't let him eat anything else.
When he went back to work almost an hour later, there was a bouquet of roses on his desk. He read the card and shook his head. Of course it was from Blaine. It was like after their first break-up. He got flowers and dozens of texts but it didn't make anything better. He tore up the card and threw it into the litter bin, wishing that he could just so easily get rid of his feelings, too.
~ o ~
"Man, you look like crap. What happened?" Sam asked as he stepped into Blaine's apartment that evening. Blaine called him the previous day, asking him to go over.
Blaine sighed and shook his head. He knew he had to talk about what had happened, that's why he called Sam but he wasn't ready. He made the biggest mistake of his life a few days ago, when he told Kurt that he should get an abortion. He regretted his words in the moment he said them but it was already too late. He tried to call the other man, sent him texts and flowers, but Kurt wouldn't talk to him. And he was right.
"Just sit down, I'll tell you everything. Do you want a beer?" Blaine asked tiredly. Sam nodded, so he went into the kitchen to get them beer from the fridge, then he walked back into the living room, handing a beer to Sam.
"Okay. So tell me, what happened?" Sam asked again. He only saw Blaine in this state twice, just after his break-ups with Kurt.
"I made a huge mistake and I don't know how to make it good" Blaine answered.
"I'll help you, just tell me the details" Sam said.
Blaine took a deep breath and he started talking. He told Sam everything from the beginning. He told him about the wedding's day, about the last weeks with Kurt in his life again and about the horrible night only days ago. And he told him what he had said to Kurt. When he finished what he had to say, Sam remained silent for minutes.
"I know I'm an asshole but please, say something" Blaine pleaded, his memories with Kurt in the bar coming back again.
"I don't know what to say, dude. How could you be so cruel to him? It's your child, too" Sam answered, not looking at Blaine.
"I know and I'm really sorry. I want to make it better but Kurt woouldn't talk to me. You have to help me" Blaine said and wipped his tearful eyes. Sam looked up finally.
"Do you know where he lives? Maybe you could go there and apologise. I don't know if Kurt will forgive you but you have to try."
Blaine nodded, considering Sam's words.
"I don't know exactly where he lives but... but he still works at Vogue! I could go there and..."
Sam cut in suddenly.
"I don't think it's a good idea. What if he didn't tell his boss about the pregnancy? You can't cause more trouble."
"But what can I do then?" Blaine asked desperately.
"What if I visit him tomorrow and ask him to have lunch with me? Then we can go somewhere and you join us" Sam said after thinking about their possibilities.
"Yes! That would be really great" Blaine said, finally showing happiness. He could make it. He just had to have a chance to talk to Kurt personally and make everything better.
~ o ~
Sam went to talk to Kurt the next morning. He and Blaine decided to meet in one of Kurt's favourite restaurants – Blaine hoped Kurt still loved the place – and that Sam will send him a text when they're on their way.
Sam reached the floor where Kurt's room was and quickly accosted a nice woman who helped him find the man.
"Hey, Kurt" Sam said as he stopped at the door. Kurt looked up from his work and his eyes widened in surprise.
"Sam? What are you doing here?" he asked and stood up to greet the man.
"Well, I stay in the city for a few days and I thought it would be great to meet you" Sam answered. Kurt raised an eyebrow.
"Wow. I never expected you to come and visit me" he said. Sam was Blaine's best friend, they even lived in the same apartment for a few months but they didn't meet in the past few years.
"Yeah. I just... I thought that we should go out for lunch. You know, we never had the opportunity to get to know each other" Sam smiled. Kurt glared at him for a long moment.
"Sam, we went to the same school for two years. And then you lived in our apartment, remember?" Kurt asked. Sam looked confused.
"Did we really... Oh, yeah! But, you know, I was busy then. But I'm here now! So do you want to have lunch with me and tell me what happened in these years?" Sam asked and he really hoped that Kurt would say yes because he was out of explanations.
"Yes. Why not? I need a break. I'll just grab my jacket, okay?" Kurt asked and went back for his jacket. Sam waited for him at the door and quickly sent a text for Blaine to let him know everything was fine.
"Ready?" Sam asked, putting the phone back into his pocket.
"Yes" Kurt nodded.
Persuading Kurt to go to the restaurant Blaine chose was harder then Sam thought. The man didn't want to go far from his workplace and Sam didn't have a good reason why they had to choose that restaurant when there were plenty of them a short way off. He told Kurt a lie about his fear from unfamiliar places and luckily, the man believed him. When they reached the place, it was past noon and the restaurant was full but they could find a free table. They sat down and ordered their drinks.
"So what are you doing here?" Kurt asked.
Sam looked up in alarm, completely forgetting everything but Blaine's request, and almost told Kurt everything Blaine had planned.
"I... what do you mean?" he asked.
"Why are you in New York? I thought you hate being here" Kurt answered.
Sam sighed.
"You know... I just needed some change. So I came here to visit my old friends" he said.
"Did you talk to Blaine?" Kurt asked. Something wasn't right with this visit and he had an idea what.
"Uhm... Yes?" Sam said hesitantly.
"Did he ask you to come and talk to me?" Kurt asked and when Sam didn't answer, just looked away, he got really angry. "I can't believe you..."
"Yes, I was the one who asked him to help me." Kurt looked up to see Blaine stepping to their table. "But it's my fault, not Sam's. He just wanted to help."
Kurt jumped up.
"And you thought I'll talk to you if you ask Sam to bring me here?" Kurt almost shouted.
"I think I should leave. I have to... be somewhere else" Sam murmured and left quickly. He couldn't help more and didn't want to be involved in this fight.
"We have to talk about this, Kurt" Blaine answered, trying to stay calm.
"No. You made it clear you don't want the baby" Kurt replied, grabbing his jacket and ready to leave. Blaine grabbed his arm.
"I want this baby, okay? I know I said something I shouldn't have and I'm really sorry. You have to believe me" Blaine said desperately. Kurt shook his head and tried to free his arm from Blaine's grip.
"Let me go" Kurt hissed.
"Please, let's just sit down and talk about it" Blaine pleaded.
"No" Kurt answered and finally freed his arm. He left the restraurant fast with Blaine following him.
"How can I make it right?" Blaine asked as he tried to catch up to Kurt.
"You had a chance and you screwed it up" Kurt yelled. He took other two steps when he felt a sudden pain in his stomach and he had to stop.
"What's wrong?" Blaine rushed to his side.
"I... I don't know" Kurt groaned. "It hurts."
"Kurt... you're bleeding" Blaine whispered, watching the bloodmark on Kurt's pants.
"No... please, no..." Kurt said, feeling the tears in his eyes as he stared down at his bloody pants.
~ o ~
Kurt almost started biting his nails, he was so nervous. They were in the clinic, waiting for Sebastian or somebody else to finally say something. Blaine stayed at his side but he didn't care. All he wanted to know was if his baby was fine. But he had a bad feeling. He knew bleeding during the pregnancy always meant something bad and he didn't want to lose his baby.
"It's gonna be okay" Blaine said quietly, squeezing Kurt's hand.
"Maybe you're lucky and it's a miscarriage" Kurt whispered, looking down. "Then your problem'll be solved."
Blaine sighed and let go of Kurt's hand.
"Could you just stop? I didn't think it seriously. I didn't think at all" Blaine said. "I just... I freaked out, okay? I work with children every day, I see how bad they can be."
"You work with teenagers" Kurt pointed out.
"I know but babies aren't better. They cry and eat and cry and shit and cry..."
Kurt sighed and cut in because he couldn't hear more.
"I know what a baby is like. I know it'll be hard at the beginning but it's our child you're talking about" he said. Blaine took his hand again.
"You're right. And I'll take it better, I swear, I just need some time to get accustomed to the situation" Blaine told him. Kurt shook his head slowly.
"If there's still a baby, you don't have to help me. I can raise it alone. I don't need your help" he said.
It was Blaine's turn to shake his head.
"I want to. I think we would be great parents" Blaine smiled, remembering the days they had planned to start a family together. "Do you remember when we talked about children earlier?"
Kurt smiled slighty.
"Oh, yes. We even agreed how to name our celebrity child. God, Fettuccine Alfredo?"
Blaine laughed.
"Okay, it's weird but I really liked it. The little Feta" he said, remembering how crazy ideas they had when they were younger.
"We won't name our child Fettuccine Alfredo" Kurt said with a smile but he saddened almost immediately as he thought about the situation they were in. "If we'll have the chance to name it at all."
"Hey, it's still here, I know" Blaine told him and squeezed Kurt's hand.
Blaine was ready to pull Kurt into a comforting hug when the door opened and Sebastian stepped into the room.
"Sebastian? What are you doing here?" Blaine asked in surprise.
"Not now, Blaine" Kurt said quickly and turned to Sebastian. "Is... is the baby fine? Is it still here?" he asked, his hand resting on his stomach.
Sebastian nodded and Kurt let out a shaky breath. His baby was alive.
"The baby is fine for now, but you have a haematoma, that caused the bleeding" Sebastian answered seriously. Kurt frowned.
"What do you mean for now?" he asked.
"The heamatoma is still there and there's a chance it'll cause miscarriage. All we can do now is waiting. I want you to come in every week to see if anything changed. If we're lucky it'll be reducing and maybe go away completely" Sebastian answered and it wasn't reassuring at all.
"What are the chances of having a miscarriage?" Blaine asked quietly and Kurt looked at him desperately. He wasn't sure he wanted to know.
"I would say fifty percent for the miscarriage but for the healty pregnancy, too. You have to hope it'll be fine" Sebastian said and for the first time in their acquaintance he seemed to be really worried about something.
"What should I do? Is-is there a medicine or something?" Kurt asked. He would do everything to keep this baby, he couldn't lose it.
"I'll prescribe you a medicine but I can't guarantee it'll help. I suggest you bed rest, too, and take it really seriously. You're only allowed to get up if you have to use the bathroom. Otherwise you have to stay in bed" Sebastian said and Kurt paled. He lived alone and had to work, how'll he be able to stay in bed?
"I... I'll do everything I can but I live alone, I don't have any help, so I don't know how I can keep the bed rest" he answered.
"I'll help" Blaine volunteered immediately.
"How? We don't live together and you have to work" Kurt said.
"I'll just ask for a few weeks off" Blaine answered as if it was the simplest thing in the world.
"Blaine, you can't..." Kurt started but Sebastian cut in.
"Enough! You can discuss it later but I have to remind you that I'm working now, I don't have time for your personal life" he said and handed Kurt a paper and some sonogram pictures. "Come back next Wednesday, we'll check on the embryo again. And don't forget bed rest" he said and left the room before he got more from the Blaine&Kurt bullshit.
"You think we can leave now?" Blaine asked and Kurt shrugged.
"I think" he said and got up from the bed.
Blaine helped him to get up as if he was death-sick and brought Kurt his clothes from the chair.
"Blaine, I'm not sick, I can make it alone" Kurt said and started pulling up his pants.
"You heard Sebastian, you need help" Blaine replied and handed Kurt his shirt. Kurt sighed.
"But not with dressing up" he denoted.
"Can we talk about this when we get you home safely?" Blaine asked and helped Kurt get his jacket and bag in spite of the man's protest.
"Fine" Kurt sighed. He was tired and really hungry, he didn't want to argue in the middle of the clinic right now. He wanted a shower and a cheeseburger, and a nap would be great, too. So he didn't say more as he let Blaine to lead him out of the room.
~ o ~
"Look, this woman wrote her heamatoma disappeared in two weeks and she had a healthy pregnancy" Kurt said as he showed Blaine the screen. They were back in Kurt's apartment, still arguing. Kurt didn't want Blaine there, he said he can manage everything alone but Blaine wanted to stay there with him to help.
"Yes, but she had her husband to help her. And look the next, she had to stay in bed until her 36th week and then she gave birth after two days. We don't want that" Blaine replied.
Kurt groaned and sat up. He already hated staying in bed.
"Look, I'm not sure I would be comfortable with you staying here" he said, not looking into Blaine's eyes. He didn't forgive Blaine for what he had said in the bar but he didn't want to hurt him. He just wanted to keep distance for awhile and if things work out, they can take a step forward.
"Then what do you want to do?" Blaine asked. "You have to stay in bed. You can't go out to do the shopping, you can't go to work, you can't even clean up."
"I'll call somebody" Kurt said.
"Who?" Blaine asked immediately.
"Dad, for example" Kurt said after thinking about it. He didn't really have friends to help him but he wasn't going to tell Blaine.
"And how do you want to work it out? You move back to Lima? Because I'm sure your dad can't leave the shop for months or even weeks" Blaine pointed out.
Kurt rolled his eyes and sighed.
"Then I'll ask somebody else" he said.
"Why don't you want me to help you?" Blaine asked.
"Because I'm still mad at you!" Kurt shouted suddenly. Blaine looked down guiltily.
"I already told you I'm sorry. I really am. Please, just let me show you I'm serious" Blaine pleaded. "Let's just try out if we can do this together for a few days and-and if you still don't want me here, I'll leave you alone. I promise."
Kurt stared into Blaine's eyes for minutes, thinking about the proposition. He really needed help and Blaine was willing to give it to him. And probably it was his only possibility if he didn't want to hire somebody.
"Okay" he said finally. Blaine's eyes lit up instantly. "But I have a few conditions."
Blaine looked surprised.
"Okay... and what would they be?" he asked.
"You have to sleep on the couch."
"Deal."
"You don't have to miss from work, I'll be fine for a few hours alone."
"I'll call you to check on you, but deal."
Kurt rolled his eyes.
"And the most important: we're only friends. We won't have sex again."
Blaine started laughing. Kurt raised an eyebrow because he didn't know what Blaine found so funny.
"Okay. Although I have to remind you that one, I wasn't the one who lured the other into that bed, and two, I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to have sex anyway" Blaine said, making Kurt blush.
"That-that wasn't my fault. I was lonely, we had a few drinks, and I didn't have to force you either" Kurt muttered, looking away. Blaine supressed a smile and got up from the bed.
"Okay, let's talk about something more important. I'm hungry and I'm pretty sure you are, too. So what do you want for dinner? I'll just go home for a few things, I can grab something on the way back." he explained.
Kurt didn't have to think about it.
"Cheeseburger" he said before Blaine could finish his sentence. "I really need a cheeseburger right now."
"Fine" Blaine smiled and grabbed his wallet on the way towards the door.
When he left, Kurt lay down and stared up to the ceiling, thinking. This situation's going to be interesting. And he wasn't sure if he was happy with it or not.