Chapter 21

Blood and Tears

D.P.O.V

I jerked a wake from yet another nightmare. Fuck. I rolled over to get closer to Angel because it was cold but I only found more cold. Then I remembered all the blood and the growls and then I rolled back over squeezing my eyes shut to prevent me from seeing anything of the past. But even as I squeezed them shut I felt hot,salty tears run down my cheeks.

I got up and sat there on ou- my bed damn it and then I got up and stumbled over to the bathroom I looked in the mirror and saw how pathetic I looked. My hair was wild, I had deep bags under my eyes and they were red from my past two days of crying and lack of sleep I was shirtless with my necklace flopped around my neck I only wore a two day pair of plaid pajama bottoms.

I felt my eyes flick around and stopped at a razor. It was old and coated in blood, old blood. I found it in Angel's jeans when I went through her stuff. I walked cautiously over to it like it would bite me. I picked it up and felt the rough blade as I cleaned the blood off it and held it in my hand I closed my hand and felt the razor slice through my palm.

I welcomed the pain as distraction to my metal pain. Then I slowly walked down the stairs to Bobby's house and slipped out the front door. I sat on the swing next to the porch and stared at the sun starting to rise. As I sat there I opened my palm to reveal the razor and my bloody hand.

I stared mesmerized by the crimson beauty as I got up and walked back in and up the stairs to my room. I locked the door and sat down on the floor instead of the bed. I gripped the razor more tightly and drew it across my left wrist not deeply but enough for me to feel and bleed.

I felt pleasure for every time I drew the razor a cross my skin now I knew why Angel would cut herself only It got rid of your mental pain but it gave you pleasure and made you feel so better. I hid the razor in a draw as I knew somebody would find it elsewhere. I dug through Angel's closet finding her favorite black leather jacket and held it in my arms sitting on my bed I let out a few tears and fell asleep.

I woke up groggy and noticed a pain in my left arm I gently moved over Angel's soft Vanilla scented coat and saw my disheveled arm. I then remembered the pleasure and pain I caused myself and slightly smiled. I slowly sat up and got dressed slowly. I was in a pair of scuffed jeans, the combat boots I left untied and just threw on a long sleeved shirt

I didn't bother with anything else I went down stairs. I went down into the dining room were Sam was feeding Harley and flinched at the sight of the familiar purple flecks and face but I put on a fake smile as I walked in. "Dada" I heard Harley squeal to me as she babbled on non scene. I smiled at her a real smile and ruffled Sam's hair as I passed him.

I heard Bobby leave the house as I reached into the fridge for some water. I pulled it out and after giving Harley a kiss on the head and hugging Sam for the last time I went up to my room for the rest of the day. At about 2 a.m I snuck out to the woods by Bobby's house and were we buried Angel.

I know that we should've burned her but I just couldn't bear it to let her go. I keeled in front of her and let out a sob that I had to keep in these past two days. I sobbed and screamed as I let all my pain come out. I then I pulled out the razor out of my pocket. I set it at my wrist and said "Angel baby I love you and-" I let out one last sob as I pushed the razor deeper into my wrist and tore past muscle and did the same thing on the other side I curled up on the grave and sat there bleeding out.

My life, Angel's life they both ended in blood and tears.

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End