"Are we off again?" wailed Honey.
"We are. Off to Tartford Manor."
Elle grabbed Honey's collar and off they went to observe what was happening in Tartford Manor.
Big Mac, Prince Caleb's long-suffering servant, had delivered all the invitations to the Grand Reception and was now sitting at home with his feet in a bowl of water and some of Jez the Trickster's Healing Salts. (The next day Big Mac would have itchy soles.) Sophie had thought they wouldn't let her accept her invitation, but they did.
"Are you going to put your invitation away safely?" Alicia asked Sophie casually.
"Oh, yes, I'll do that" Sophie replied, reaching out for the precious invitation.
"Because, otherwise, some cow might just…"
Alicia snatched up the invitation and flung it into the huge kitchen fire. Louise gave a gasp of mock horror and then howled with laughter. Sophie was too hurt and stunned to even weep. A pain began to spread across her heart.
"You wouldn't have done that if Ethan had been home" she said angrily.
"But Ethan isn't home! The Workhouse brat is multi-tasking today over at Farmer Garcia's."
"But guess what, Sophie? For the arrogance of thinking you could even go to that reception, tonight you'll go through the Haunted Forest and gather sticks for firewood."
Sophie thought of the ghost of the Haunted Forest, reputedly the undead form of a gypsy girl who had drowned herself in what was rather vulgarly known as "P*ss Springs" by the locals. She thought of the tales she'd heard of the killer wolf that roamed the other end of the forest near Morcara. And she didn't care. Better to die in the forest than have to live a life thinking that it might just have been her who Prince Caleb chose. What a fool she'd been to even dream.
"Put a curse on them two sisters and make them die!" begged Honey.
"Don't tell me what to do, trainee, or you'll lose your lunch break. Now fasten your seat belt… or your collar. We're off again."
Honey sighed.
Jack had reached the summit of the beanstalk and found a wonderful mansion. Hey, maybe the owner wants workers! I can get myself a job and get back into Mum's good books" he thought. He knocked on the door. No reply. He tried again. No reply, and as far as he could see, no bell to pull. He shoved the door in temper, and it swung open. He wished he had a CV on him.
He walked through the passage into a beautiful sitting room filled with art treasures.
"Oh, wow, look at them!"
"WHAT are you doing in here?" asked a deep voice. Jack turned round to see a very tall man.
A giant, he thought, and he's going to eat me.
"Please, please don't eat me! I wasn't going to steal anything."
"I know. I can tell who are thieves and who have come with other reasons. But please don't insult me; just because I'm tall doesn't mean I'm a giant. Added to which I'm a vegetarian so I find that most offensive."
"Sorry."
"Why are you here… oh, don't tell me! Another one!"
The very tall man slapped his thigh in glee.
"You got paid in beans by Jez the Trickster, didn't you?"
Jack nodded like a child who's been reprimanded.
"Well, the least I can do is offer you a bite to eat. You like vegetarian?"
"It's – er – good."
Jack liked his meat but a free feed was a free feed.
"Do you have any jobs you want doing round here?" Jack asked hopefully.
"Well, I could do with somebody cleaning this place. But beware the trick harp. It was given to me by my uncle Rick who has a mean sense of humour. Every time some poor soul picks it up to clean it, it starts playing spooky chords and screams that it's being stolen. Three domestic staff have quit already."
"Ah, I'm used to loud shouting; I've got a bossy mum. I won't quit – if you give me the job."
"You can start Monday."
"Brilliant."
"Wine?"
"Er… better not, Sir. I've got to climb back down that beanstalk."
"No you haven't. I'll send you back in my daughter's hot air balloon. She's into all this steampunk stuff. Always inventing things. But this is a nice gadget of hers. Right, let me get your contract for you. You drink up."
"Thanks, Sir. What's your name by the way?"
"Oh yes it would be good to know that if you're working for me. My name's Henrik Hanssen. This is Hanssen Mansion. Oh… if you're going back by balloon, I'll give you some grub to keep you and your mum going till your first pay day."
He suddenly yelled:
"JAC!"
"H-how did you know my name?" Jack began to ask. But a beautiful flame-haired young woman came into the room.
"This is my daughter, Jacqueline, known as Jac. Jac, meet Jack. He's starting work here on Monday."
"Did you warn him about the harp?"
"Of course."
"It's awfully good of you to give me a job, Sir" Jack smiled.
"Not at all, lad. I always love a chance to give Jez the trickster a smack in the eye."
"I'll go and get the balloon ready" Jac grinned and gave Jack, who was a handsome lad, a special flirtatious smile.
Jack decided it would be a very bad time to tell her he was gay.
While all this was happening Prince Dylan was crossing through from the North to the more Southern regions. He'd just had lunch at a pleasant inn – Dervla had scrounged a sausage as usual – and now he was on his way again.
Suddenly Dervla gave a sharp little yap.
"You can't be tired, we've been in that inn for two hours" Dylan reprimanded her.
Yap! Yap!
Dylan looked down.
"It's only a little frog; it's more scared of you than you are of it."
Yaaaaap!
Dylan looked down crossly and saw that, strange as it seemed, the little frog was gesturing to him.
"What? I don't speak Frog."
The little frog pointed to its mouth.
"Oh no" Dylan gasped, "You're not wanting me to kiss you?"
The little frog nodded. Dervla was wagging her tail.
"Oh this is ridiculous but thankfully I've got some mouthwash in my saddle bag… and if it will shut you up…"
He scooped up the little frog and kissed it on its mouth. It wasn't as horrid as he thought, but there was suddenly a blinding flash and the frog vanished. A pretty young woman with red hair – yes, another one! – stood before him.
"I'm giving up Dandelion wine" sighed Dylan. The young woman laughed.
"I'm real. I was enchanted by the terrible demon Meyer who turned me into a frog because I wouldn't sell him my soul. My name's Princess Robyn."
"Prince Dylan."
"Hello there. May I travel on with you? Where are you going?"
Dylan replied:
"I've been sent by my father to seek a bride."
Princess Robyn beamed.
Dylan said gently:
"But I don't want a bride. I'm actually gay."
"Well could we be friends anyway?" asked Robyn cheerfully.
"Sounds reasonable. Dervla likes you."
"She's a darling. Prince Dylan?"
"Yes?"
"Why don't you become engaged to me anyway? That'll stop you being nagged by your Dad for a while, and we could be really good friends. We can keep finding excuses to put off the wedding and we could travel about a bit before you go home."
"That sounds like a plan."
He helped Robyn into the saddle and they rode off in a South Westerly direction.
"Why did you bring me here if they solved that one all on their own?"
Honey asked.
"I wanted you to see how nice it is when things work out for themselves. Now we're off again… to the Haunted Forest."
Honey began to wail but her protests went unheard by Elle as they whooshed across the night sky.