HONEY FOUR

Poor Sophie, shivering and afraid, walked through the Haunted Forest. Supposing that ghost came? She knew the gypsies could be vengeful, for after the young gypsy girl who had been seduced by Prince Caleb's grandfather had drowned herself, the Prince's younger brother had been kidnapped. The gypsies were prime suspects and nobody knew if the young prince was dead or alive. She always thought this must be Prince Caleb's secret heartache and that was what made him a little – well, insensitive – at times. Little did she know that Prince Caleb's reaction had been "One less to share my sweets and comics with."

Meanwhile, Prince Caleb had spitefully decided that, seeing as Big Mac hated exercise, not to mention frosty weather and ghosts, that he would order Mac to have a midnight jog with him. Mac had long since fallen behind and had been abandoned by his master.

Sophie struggled on and had a basket full of firewood when Elle had said to Honey:

"Observe and be amazed", and had disguised herself as an old woman and made Honey invisible. Elle hobbled over to Sophie:

"Oh my dear, where did you get all that firewood from? I've nothing for my cold hearth."

Sophie wasn't in the mood for old ladies but felt pity for this one. Forcing a smile, she handed over her basket.

"Please take mine!"

Elle materialised as her true self, snatched the basket, and shouting:

"Sucker!", vanished in purple smoke.

"That weren't nice!" gasped Honey.

"I know it weren't – wasn't! It was payback for being mean to Ethan."

Just as Sophie began to weep, round the corner jogged Prince Caleb himself.

"Why, it's the little peasant girl! No – don't curtsey, dear. How are you, little peasant girl?"

"Very sad, Highness. My stepsisters threw my invitation into the fire today for a horrible joke."

"Don't fret, pet. I shall put a block on every credit card they try to use to buy themselves pretty things for my reception. And it's not a problem about the invitation…"

Sophie smiled in relief.

"… A smart girl like you can always steal another one. Well, got to go. My nice warm carriage is parked just up there. Watch out for the wolf!"

And off jogged the Prince, leaving Sophie even more despairing than before. She heard footsteps and wondered if it was the ghost.

"Sophie!"

Ethan was running through the snowy forest, carrying warm boots and a cloak, plus a huge basket of firewood.

"Those two b*tches told me what they'd done to you! I'm sorry I wasn't there, but at least I can help you get warm and make sure you get home safely."

"Oh, Ethan" Sophie smiled, "I met Prince Caleb in the woods just now! He was jogging like a normal person, so you see, he's not snooty!"

"He met you and then left you freezing? He could have helped you a bit more!"

"Don't be nasty, Ethan. He was probably trying to get some time to himself."

Ethan raised his eyebrows.

"He's lovely, Ethan! I've just lost my heart."

"You've just broken mine. Again" thought Ethan.

Sophie struggled into the cloak and boots, and Ethan took her arm. Suddenly there was a thunderclap in the middle of the snow, and the smell of brimstone. The loathsome demon Meyer stood there. Sophie fainted in Ethan's arms.

"Young man, you should not put up with this treatment! You're as handsome as the Prince is – and far more People-friendly. Why not let me cast a little spell to make the young lady love you… all I'd want for it would be your soul."

Ethan knew pure evil when he saw it.

"Get back to the hell you came from!"

"So you refuse my help?" asked Meyer.

"I do!"

"Then DIE!" yelled Meyer. Ethan waited for the pain which never happened. He shrugged.

"Unpleasant turn of phrase."

He carried Sophie home tenderly.

"We're off again" Elle told Honey.

"I'm charging you for a new top; you've pulled me collar all out of shape."

Off they went again, this time landing on the roof of the cottage near Morcara, where they had a perfect view through the windows.

The bandits were home. Crafty, Sneaky, Grabby, Snatchy, Stealthy and Lightfoot had had a productive day. They'd robbed three coaches, sold the jewels they'd nicked to a reliable contact, and then, after taking out the necessary expenses for food, heating, etc, had left the rest of the money on the doorstep of an orphanage.

Suddenly they heard a movement above them. Out came their swords.

"Whoever it is in that loft, come down and face us, or we'll come and get you!"

A young man with dark curls and large blue/grey eyes descended.

"I'm sorry. I needed somewhere to shelter."

"And for that, you'll die."

The young man threw his head back proudly and waited to be stabbed. It was reasonably obvious that he was unarmed.

"He's got guts."

"Yeah, I'll spill 'em!"

"Look" said Lightfoot, also known as Patrick Spiller, "Do we need to slay him? Couldn't he join us instead?"

"Right, stranger. What's your name?" asked Snatchy, whose real name was Josh Griffiths.

"Benjamin."

"Okay, Benjamin. Your life depends on the answers to this quiz. Question one. You are part of a band of bandits and you rob a coach, taking people's jewels and purses. Do you spend the money on your own pleasures or give it to those in need?"

Benjamin, who had been brought up the right way and had values, said:

"Give to those in need."

"You are out doing a job when one of your comrades is captured. Do you leave him to die and take his share of the food or go to rescue him from his captors?"

"Rescue him."

"You rob a coach in which there is a beautiful but helpless young girl. Do you have your evil way with her, or let her go free?"

"Let her go free."

"You rob a coach in which there is a handsome but helpless young man. What do you do then?"

Benjamin knew this answer might cause his doom but he had to answer honestly:

"Flirt with him a little, and then let him go free."

"Finally, do you support Queen Constance of Morcara?"

Benjamin, fortunately, had visited one or two inns on his journey and knew how to answer:

"I do not. I repudiate Queen Constance and her wickedness."

Cheers from the other six.

"Five out of five correct! Pour him a drink and set a place at table for him! You are now officially our seventh bandit! But you must have a nickname. All bandits have nicknames!"

Lightfoot laughed.

"Well, considering where he came down from – Lofty!"

He ran outside, poured a mugful of icy water from the pump, poured it over Benjamin's head and cried:

"I christen thee Lofty!"

Honey, who was really tired and was hoping it might be time to eat, had to see two more things before she was allowed her rest.

First of all, a middle-aged peasant woman was saying to her pretty daughter:

"Rita, darling, I'm sorry to send you out in this weather but poor Granny Tess is seriously ill and needs these treats and the medicine."

"It's okay Mum" said feisty Rita Freeman, and she pulled her red cape closely around her, "I should be back by midday tomorrow; I'll stay over with Granny till it's light again."

"Keep to the path and don't stray and you should be safe from the wolf."

Rita kissed her mum's cheek and off she went.

The second thing Honey saw didn't look so pleasant. A beautiful but cold-looking woman was speaking to a large ornate mirror:

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?"

The mirror replied, which made Honey go tingly all over with fear.

"Queen Constance, you are fair all right,

But fairer far is Lily White."

"My stepdaughter!" Queen Constance broke some crockery to feel better, and then summoned her Huntsman, Iain Dean.

"You-you can't mean me to- oh, Madam!" he babbled in horror after what he'd heard.

Queen Constance passed him a casket.

"Bring me her heart back in this."

"Ugh, that's vile! Like on a TV Medical programme!"

"You either do it or tomorrow you're hanged in front of my kingdom and denounced as a traitor. You'll not be contributing to your dear old daddy's pension then, will you?"

With a heavy heart, Iain went out to do murder…