Author's Note: It's Agent Carter premiere day, so treat yourself to some Peggy and Steve interaction before heading back to the canon universe.
Chapter 7
In the middle of the night, Peggy again found herself unable to sleep as she lay in her cot in the darkened room. This time the nightmare had been different-she searched all over a deserted laboratory looking for something that she couldn't find, becoming more and more frantic as she searched. Now that she was awake, she could explain the dream away as worry over Steve's recovery, but try as she might, she couldn't relax enough to go back to sleep. She could hear Reed's soft breathing from across the room and crept silently from the cot to avoid waking the other woman.
A small fire burned in the fireplace to warm the poorly insulated house against the nighttime chill, and it was the main source of light in the room. Peggy wrapped the blanket from her cot around her shoulders and moved slowly from the bedroom though her eyes were already adjusted to the dim light. She saw Parker and Belenko at the table looking over papers by the light of a small lantern and Steve seated on the couch by the fireplace with an open file folder in front of him. Belenko must have found clothing for him, as he now wore khaki trousers and a white shirt with the long sleeves rolled up. The wires protruding from his scalp were completely gone, and other than the shorn hair, Steve looked like himself again.
"May I?" she asked softly as she nodded towards the empty spot on the couch. Steve moved over to give her plenty of room before clearing away the scattered papers and returning them neatly to the folder. "What are you reading?" she asked.
"Soviet intelligence reports. Agent Belenko loaned them to me," he said, sounding uncertain whether he was allowed to read them. "I'm trying to get caught up."
"Studious as ever, I see."
"If you're having trouble sleeping, you can have them. I'm sure you'll be out in no time."
"And yet you seem to be perfectly awake."
Steve looked down at the folder, running his fingers across the S.H.I.E.L.D. logo emblazoned on the front. "I've been asleep for four years. What's your excuse?"
"Nightmares," she said frankly.
They had occurred fairly frequently among the men Steve had served with, and he'd certainly had enough of his own. "The war?" he asked.
"Sometimes," Peggy hedged, her eyes darting to Parker and Belenko. The agents showed no sign of listening, but whether they meant to eavesdrop or not, it was hard to disregard their training.
"So all these people report to you?" he asked, changing the topic to something more comfortable.
"Well, not Howard or Sergeant Dugan, of course, but the others do, along with a few more in Washington."
"I never thought much about what I might do after the war. I guess I wasn't entirely sure I'd make it home, especially not after Bucky…" he trailed off.
Peggy placed a reassuring hand on his arm. "When this is over, I'm certain there is a place for you within S.H.I.E.L.D. if you wish. Or did you plan to resume your stage career?"
Steve flushed slightly at the memory. "I think S.H.I.E.L.D. might be a better fit for me. I never liked all the fuss."
Peggy wasn't sure a fuss could be avoided when a great war hero returned from the dead, but she silently vowed to do whatever she could to give Steve what he wanted.
"Now that your agents are gone, will you tell me what's really bothering you?" Steve asked, interrupting her thoughts. Peggy glanced behind them to confirm that Belenko and Parker had left, likely for a perimeter check.
"As I said, nightmares. It's silly, really," she said, trying to dismiss the topic. She couldn't bear his concerned expression at the moment.
"It's not silly, Peggy. It was a war. You aren't the only person who can't sleep because of it."
"It's not the war most of the time, not really," she admitted softly. She looked up at him and steeled herself with a deep breath. "It's the day we took the HYDRA base in the alps."
Steve looked puzzled as he reviewed the events of that day in his mind, trying to figure out what had caused such trauma. Peggy watched him expectantly, too embarrassed to spell it out for him.
"Did something else happen after I..." he started to ask. Peggy just shook her head silently. "When I crashed Schmidt's bomber. Oh, Peggy, I made you listen to all of that."
"You didn't make me do anything. I just felt so helpless. There was nothing I could do to save you." She sighed. "I've relived that day hundreds of times. I suppose I have to keep reassuring myself that you're really here."
Steve gently took one of her hands in his, and Peggy stared into the light of the fire to force away the tears threatening to well up. She told herself it was the lack of sleep playing with her emotions.
"I was quite angry with you for awhile," she commented later, still staring at the fire with her hand still firmly enfolded within Steve's.
"I'm glad I missed that part."
Peggy arched a brow in wry amusement and finally looked back at Steve. He studied her as if committing her features to memory. Given his own enhanced memory, he didn't actually need to do that.
"You know, Howard once said you were more frightened of me than of any Nazi."
"I think the same could be said for most of the men in the SSR. And probably your agents, too."
"Perhaps," she replied noncommittally. She raised her free hand to her mouth to stifle a yawn.
"You should get some sleep."
"I'm fine," she protested as he moved his large frame from the couch to sit on the floor.
"How can you lead the troops if you're dead on your feet, Agent Carter?"
"You can't give me orders, Captain." Despite her words, she shifted to lie down on the couch and reposition the blanket over her. She was too tired to hide the wince as her ribs protested the movement.
"Are you okay?"
"Just a little bruised." Once settled, she took Steve's hand again and fell into a dreamless sleep.
Rested, fed, and resupplied, the team regrouped the next morning to plan a second assault on Laboratory No. 2.
"What went wrong last time?" Peggy asked, looking at Agent Parker.
"Only about half of the detonators went off. I don't know why." Parker didn't add his theory about sabotage in front of the larger group.
Peggy turned to Howard. "I don't know, either," he said. "They're usually reliable. Possibly a lot of radio interference in the room, but you'd think we would have noticed it on our radios. Or maybe it was user error."
Parker bristled at the implication. "Sam knew what he was doing."
"What if we used something immune to interference," Steve suggested. Peggy noticed he'd stayed off to the side during the meeting, so different from their planning sessions during the war.
"You mean timers? And risk blowing all of us up, too?" Howard scoffed.
"I'll do it," Steve offered. Peggy opened her mouth to protest when he locked eyes with her. "I have the best chance of success. And if something goes wrong, well, I'm more likely to survive than any of you."
"Just like taking out a HYDRA base," Dugan added.
"With only a quarter of the Howling Commandos and a severe lack of weaponry," Peggy pointed out.
"I can get us weaponry," Belenko said. "Matt can retrieve the explosives from our base."
"I'll go, too," Pearson volunteered.
"And Sergeant Dugan will accompany you, as well," Peggy announced. "I'm sure you must have learned something from Dernier."
"Yes, ma'am," Dugan replied blithely.
"Mr. Stark will accompany Agent Belenko. See if you can come up with something a little more intimidating than a pistol. Agent Reed, Captain Rogers, and I will check out the lab to see what changes they've made since our last visit."
"Peggy," Howard started to protest as he watched Steve with suspicion.
"We shall reconvene at 1600 hours-same place as before. Don't be late."
Parker, Pearson, and Dugan departed while Belenko hung back, waiting for Stark.
"Be reasonable, Peg," Stark pleaded. "We still don't know what they did to him."
"Then you'd better leave me plenty of tranquilizer darts."
The entire team reorganized on-time, each mission having gone according to plan. Howard's concern had been for naught, as Steve had seemed to be his normal self all day. He'd even devised a way to hook his shield on his back.
Stark and Belenko displayed their black market weapons haul on the ground. The quality wasn't impressive, but the quantity was. Stark had even managed to make a few improvements already. Dugan and Parker, who'd kept a very close watch on Pearson, had the explosives primed and ready to go. Only Reed was missing, as Peggy asked her to send a coded update to General Phillips.
"Agents Belenko, Parker, and Pearson will go in with the shift change and unload the explosives on the janitorial carts. Many of the scientists will be leaving at that time, and you should be able to get in unnoticed. Once the majority of the workers have left the laboratory, Belenko will trigger the radiation alarm. That's the signal for Captain Rogers and Sergeant Dugan to start placing the explosives."
"The radiation alarm will clear the lab," Belenko explained, "but it also triggers automatic doors to seal off the lab from the rest of the building. Mr. Stark will make sure we can get past them."
"And if that doesn't work, we can always blow our way out," Stark added. "But with timed explosives, the quicker we can get out, the better."
"Try for plan A, Howard," Peggy said crisply. "Agent Reed and I will assist Mr. Stark and keep the exits clear. You have twenty minutes to get into position."
No matter how many operations like this she'd been through, Peggy still felt a tiny flutter of nerves in her stomach. Armed and ready, the team filed out to reach their designated starting positions. Steve trailed behind, and Peggy placed her hand on his arm to stop him.
"Please be careful," she said, looking up at him and committing his face to memory in case she lost him again through some cruel twist of fate.
"You, too," he replied softly. "You said you'd teach me to dance, and I'm going to hold you to it." He held her gaze for a moment before tearing himself away and heading towards the door.
"Just don't be late," she called after him. Steve faltered and turned back, crossing the distance in two long strides. Before Peggy could ask what was wrong, he was kissing her. After the momentary shock, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. She felt a little breathless when he pulled away.
"For luck," he said before retreating to find Dugan.