Ch. 4: Remember The Time?
Two days later, after meeting Rachel and Gar in the bookstore, Tara was now reading each page of her chemistry book intently, simultaneously taking notes as she reviewed. The quiet atmosphere of the library allowed her to focus extremely well-that is until a flash of cobalt (or was it navy?) blue caught her eye when she cut it. Tara couldn't help herself as she pushed her seat backwards and decided to investigate what had attracted her attention. She ended up in the same aisle as the flash, uttering "Raven?" in question.
The girl turned around-gulp-and revealed Rachel, the girl whom she had met the other day. To Tara's surprise, Rachel only smiled when she looked up towards her new friend. "First time I've ever been confused for a superhero. It feels it sort of weird, but then again you seem to do it a lot. Tara, was it?" She laughed lightly, bringing up how Tara had confused Gar for BB. "So why Raven?" Rachel asked her new friend as gathered her books and followed Tara back to her study table.
Tara pulled her chair out, sitting down with a sigh, "You just remind me of her. You do seem nicer, but then again I heard she's not allowed to express emotions. Because of that, she comes off to many as cold, when really I think she doesn't know how to interact with others." Rachel only nodded at Tara's speculation towards the rather reclusive Titan. "I heard that as well. That's all right, I'm honestly flattered. You reminded me of an old flame of Gar's from a while back, which is why I glared at you when we first met. Poor guy got his heart broken three times, each going back to the same little floozy."
Tara batted a loose stranded of her blond hair out of her eyes, looking down but not at her books. This girl sounded a lot like herself. Rachel must have seen the distraught look on her face, for she asked, "Do you want to talk about anything? I'm not supposed to be meeting up with Gar for a couple of hours…" Tara looked up, noting the compelling sincerity of the girl's posture. Well, wasn't easier to deal with your sins if you preached them to another person? Tara sure hoped so, as she took in a deep breath. "About almost a year ago, I betrayed some of the best friends I would ever have…"
And so, Tara proceeded to tell Rachel about what she had done to her friends (well, at least the gist of it. She left out the parts about her friends being the Titans, how she used to be Terra, and of course, the ever constant conversation starter Slade).
When Tara had finished she asked breathlessly, "So what do I do? I can't obviously attempt to go back to them, especially the boy's who heart I broke numerous times. I see them constantly and also wonder, 'Do they hate me? Can I ever be one of them again?'" Tara watched as Rachel took a moment to gather her thoughts. Her eyes hadn't left Tara as she recited her story, moving her hands to match her facial expressions and the words that escaped her lips (Tara had thought she had seen a glint of gold in them, but was sure it was just the faulty lighting). Rachel still hadn't looked away from her new friend's face when she started to speak.
"Before Gar and I were together, he used to get on my nerves to no end. And every single time my patience with him wore thin, I'd explode and leaving him to ponder his actions. Not too soon after this, he'd come find me and apologize always wholeheartedly and never half-assed. For whatever divine reasoning, I had developed an uncanny ability to forgive him." Her voice was amazingly calm, a small smile turning up the corners of Rachel's lips.
"Because of this, I was eventually able to forgive the girl for leaving him-had she not I wouldn't have him with me at all. Now while I was able to forgive her for abandon my beloved, I still have a passionate resentment for breaking his heart and leaving him nothing but shattered for 3 weeks." Rachel's eyes seemed to flash red again, but Tara simply dismissed it as the lights as she had done before.
"Afterwards I came to realize that I and she were a lot of alike (much to my distaste). We both had issues getting close and trusting others, more or less of a broken past that we played off with our own impressions of what we wanted to display to the world (mine being books and her was acting like one of the guys while keeping her girlish nature), and most important, though I had not realized my own feelings at the moment, loved the same funny loving prankster." Tara nodded, understanding why Rachel had gotten so mad at this girl for abandoning someone she obviously cared about deeply.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is that while betraying your friends may have hurt them deeply, you've given them plenty of time to heal and consider your reasoning for your actions. Now all you really need to do is come to terms with your own guilt and forgive yourself." Tara said nothing as she let what Rachel had told her sink in.
It was during this talk that the girls had linked hands out of a matter of trust and friendship, when Tara had begun to fiddle with Rachel's ring. She turned it twice to the left and then three to the right, suddenly causing it to glow a white light. Tara sat stunned as Rachel faded from her view, only to reveal the Teen Titan Raven sitting before her. "For the love of Azar…" was all the dark Bird said under her breath.