"You remember when daddy used to take us out here when we was kids?" George asks handing Sheldon a beer
Sheldon takes the beer and sits it down beside him not even bothering to open it. They are sitting on the rickety dock of the lake their father used to take them too. The dock had been weathered twenty years ago, now it looked down right condemned. That hadn't stopped George Jr. from walking to its edge and sitting down with his case of beer.
"Yes, some of my most traumatic memories were forged at this godforsaken mud hole." Sheldon tells his brother,reluctantly joining him on the edge of the dock.
Sheldon was nervous,with his brother, at first he thought they were going to fight. Then is brother made him get into the car and refused to tell him where they were going. Sheldon was worried that he might drive him down to Mexico and abandon him. The tension did not ease when he saw where they were heading. When he was young his father had tried in vain to teach him how to fish. He would take George and him out to this tiny man made lake and attempt to make him be outdoorsy. Most of the time he would take a book with him and read while his brother and father fished. Sheldon remembers that the last time they came his father had tossed his calculus book in the lake .
The memory taking a sepia tinted quality, over twenty years ago now but he can still hear the roar of his fathers voice.
"God damn it, Sheldon get your fucking nose out of that sissy ass book! How can I teach you to be a man when alls you want to do is stare at numbers all god damn day!" Sheldon can almost feel his father looming over him, smell his unquie scent of stale whiskey, tobacco, and brut aftershave.
"Numbers are not sissy, I have no intention of ever becoming a man like you, I am going to be a man of science. In that case this book will help me more than learning to eviscerate an earthworm with a hook and try to catch a micropterus salmoides."
"You know what? you little shit, catch this." With that his father ripped the book from his hands and tossed it unceremoniously into the lake. He can still remember how it lay on top of the water for a second waiting to be rescued. Then how when he laid flat on the dock and stretched out to try and reach it, how it sunk down. He did not cry, he never cried but he did not speak another word until they were home. His father claimed he felt horrible about it, on the way home they stopped at Wal-Mart and he bought him a Action figure.
"That's odd, those are some of my best memories, Me you and Dad bonding out here." George says taking a deep gulp from his beer.
"Maybe that's because Dad actually liked you, the only reason I was there was because mother made him take me. Then the only reason she made him take me is so she could go have girl time with Missy. After the laser fiasco I was not allowed to stay home alone."
"Oh yeah, you almost burned the shed down! Dad liked you, hell he liked you more than he liked me in the end. Used to always tell me what a screw up I was, why couldn't I try to be more like you. I mean by the time he died, I was eighteen and you were fourteen, I was still trying to graduate high school and you had a college degree. I had gotten my first misdemeanor and you were working on becoming a doctor. " George tells him draining his beer and popping open another one.
"Maybe in the end he saw the error in his judgment but when we were children I assure you it was the other way around. Why don't you have friends like George? Why can't you play peewee football like George did? George never tries to build high powered lasers in the shed." Sheldon says bitterly, shaking his head.
"Drink a beer, you'll feel better." George says handing him another one that Sheldon sets beside the other one.
"I don't drink." Sheldon tells him.
"Why the hell not? You mean to tell me that you ain't ever had a drink before?" George asks.
"I never said that, I choose not to imbibe alcohol as a general rule. For your information I have been drunk five times, each more unpleasant than the last."
"Well, you're about to make it six! Humor your old brother OK ? This is how men hash out their problems!" George yells slapping his brother on the shoulder. Sheldon looks at him and sees he is not going to relent.
"Very well, cheers." Sheldon says opening up the beer and clinking it against his brothers.
Amy sits nervously in the back of Marys car, she hopes Sheldon is OK. Any had wanted to leave to find them immediately but Mary was in no hurry. In fact Mary seems to be taking an extra long time getting ready on purpose. Amy tried to call Sheldon but to her dismay his phone was still in the bedroom.
"Don't be worried, sugar! Them boys are just fine!" Mary says catching sight of Amy's worried expression in the rearview mirror.
"If you say so." Amy sighs,
"Don't worry." Ayden tells her reaching out a chubby hand to her, his baby lisp making the 'R's sound like 'W's.
"Alright Ayden, I won't." Amy tells him. Mary pulls into a shopping center and pulls in front of a nail salon "Why are we stopping?" Amy asks concerned.
"I don't know about you but my nails need a fixin'. With the family dinner tonight and the funeral in two days I am going to need a fresh coat of paint on these suckers." Mary says getting out of the car.
"Good, idea Mama, I can't remember the last time I got these nails fixed. Look at this one, I just about plucked it clean off, worrying so much." Missy says holding out her pinky finger with a pouty look. Missy opens the back door and releases Ayden from his car seat.
"What family dinner? What about Sheldon and George?" Amy says aggravated.
"Well all the extended family is all coming over tonight for dinner . We haven't had all the cousins together in a real long are all dying to met Sheldon's lady friend that we have been talking so much about." Mary tells her
"If Sheldon is still in one piece by dinner tonight." Amy grumbles.
"Oh honey, like I said they are going to be just fine! Maybe hashing things out a bit will be good for them. Now come one and get your nails done with us and quit a fretting." Mary says disappearing into the shop, Missy following after her. Amy sighs, if you can't beat 'em join them she thinks to herself getting out of the car.
"Mama, what do you think of this color? Hot candy apple?" Missy asks holding out a bottle of red nail polish.
"Well sugar, that's just fine if you want to show up looking like a harlot. Red ain't no color for a funeral." Mary tells her.
"This one then Mama?" Missy says holding out a bottle of black, laughing.
"Now, you quit your fooling around, at a funeral you wear nude or light pink, a respectful color." Mary tells her selecting her color and sitting down.
"I would hate for my nails to be disrespectful." Missy says handing the girl a bottle of pale pink nail polish. Missy sets Ayden on the floor beside her and hands him a board book from her purse. He sits down quietly and begins reading it, he really is a remarkably well behaved child. Amy picks out a nice nude color not wanting to disobey Mary.
"Do you get your nails done often?" Missy asks her looking at Amy's hands. Truth be told it has been awhile since she pampered herself with a manicure. Amys nails were clean and neatly trimmed but not polished. Really if Penny did not invite her out to get one it was not something she thought about.
"Not very often, I had never gotten my nails done before at all prior to my meeting Sheldon." Amy tells her.
"Really? Sheldon never struck me as the kind of guy that would care about a girls nails." Missy says.
"Oh, he isn't, in fact once I got them painted silver on a whim ,and he made me remove the polish because my nails were to distracting. No I was speaking about how without Sheldon I would have never met Penny. She is the one who first convinced me to go with her to a salon."
"Penny, is such a nice girl! I call her all the time to check up in Shelly, although now I suppose I should be calling on you." Mary tells her.
"I liked Penny when I met her, she was a real sweet girl. Better than those other weirdos he was hanging out with. Is he still friends with that tiny little boy that kept hitting on me, and that other one that can't talk to girls?" Missy asks.
"Yes, although Howard wouldn't be hitting in you anymore, he is married to my friend Bernadette. Raj, the other one, can finally speak to women, he actually has a steady girlfriend." Amy tells her.
"Well that is just more proof that the lord answers prayers!" Mary tells her.
"Let me ask you another question, and I hope you don't take offense." Missy says to Amy.
"What?" Amy asks wearily.
"Why are you dressed like that? Its 'bout a hundred degrees out there and you are dressed for autumn in the north." Missy asks.
"Yes, well, my mother used to tell me that conservative layers were a girls best friend. Although truth be told I am regretting my choice of nylons today." Amy tells her, feeling her legs already getting sweaty and itchy.
"You know what Mama let's take Amy shopping! Find her some stuff more appropriate for June in Texas!" Missy says excited.
"That is an excellent idea! I have been worried the girl might swoon from heat exhaustion at any minute." Mary says
"No, that's not necessary, besides we got to find Sheldon and George." Amy says annoyed.
"Oh pish posh! We got some time, it will be fun." Mary says.
"Let us have a little girl bonding time, and let them have some boy time!" Missy tells her.
"But what if they are killing each other?" Amy asks incredulously
"Honey, we would have heard sirens by now!" Mary tells her laughing, and Amy does not know if she is joking or serious.
"That's a comforting thought." Amy mumbles succumbing to the will of the formidable team of Missy and Mary.
"So I was hooking up with this broad , her name was Crystal, she was staying in Decatur Georgia. Really sweet girl, nice tits, could have brought her home to mom, all that shit. I only pass through Decatur about twice every month, if I am lucky. So I also had this little slice in Louisville Kentucky, not nearly as hot, kind of trashy really, but I pass through Louisville more often…"
"One question?" Sheldon interupts "Why are you telling me this?"
"I was getting to the point, you see the broad in Louisville was a little sneaky thing. Got into my pants while I was sleeping, found out about the girl in Decatur. Called her a cryn' told her everything, and now I ain't got anyone. That was a month before Memaw died, my whole life is going to shit."
"Maybe you should not have been having coitus with two ladies at once. Then it seems your problems would be minimized by a great deal."
"Yes Captain Obvious! That's what I am saying! Shit! I thought maybe Crystal was going to be the girl I married. Mama is always getting on me to settle down, tie down some stakes. I just went and fucked things up like I usually do."
" I can't imagine the hassle in trying to juggle two women. For that matter, I can't imagine ever wanting another woman ,Amy is the only girl I have ever dated. " Sheldon tells him draining the beer in his hand to take the sting out of his admission.
"So you were a virgin before her? You were a little old but hell, good for you, maybe if I could'a married my first, things would be different. Angela Holmes, she was the whole package ,of course they don't let you get married at fifteen years old!"
"I am still a virgin." Sheldon tells him popping the tab on another beer. George spits out his beer and wipes his mouth.
"What the hell Sheldon! You got to get on that !What's the problem, Amy making you wait til you put a ring on it? Is she real religious, I can see it she looks the type."
"No, if anything Amy has been pursuing the physical side and I have been putting the brakes on. Amy views on religion are the same as my own, another reason we are so compatible with one another."
"Not that damn compatible! Have you ever thought that maybe you just don't like girls and that's why y'all aren't doing it? At this Sheldon gives him a look of pure contempt.
"Or does your willy not work? You got the erectile dysfunction or something? You know that they make pills for that now. I got a guy can get you some stuff from Mexico make it stiff for a week." Sheldon drains the rest of this beer and rounds on his brother.
"I like girls very much, and virility is not the issue!" Sheldon says angrily.
"Well what is the issue ,brother?" George asks.
"You know sex is not the answer to everything, it seems to have brought you nothing but trouble! Not that it is any of your business, but Amy is the only, person, thing, or object that I have ever been sexually attracted too! I think that says a lot more than rutting on her like an animal, exchanging bodily fluids!" Sheldon says hotly.
"I am just saying a good rutting, might do her some good. Loosen her up a bit! Why did you even met a girl ,if you had no interest in doing what girls are there for doing?"
"As far as meeting her, my friends signed me up for online dating, then blackmailed me into a date with her. I was so mad at them, I thought I would never forgive them for putting me in such a foolhardy situation. Now I don't think, I could thank them enough for bringing her to me." Sheldon says hanging his head.
"I still don't know why you even want to keep around. Just cut her loose let her find another online dude that wants to give her some ." George tells him.
"George, I know this might be hard for you to understand, as you equate the act of coitus as part and parcel with love. So I will try to explain it to you the best I can, though sometimes I don't understand it myself." Sheldon pauses unsure how to voice what he is feeling. Unsure whether he should voice what he is feeling. George does not deserve an explanation, but the alcohol is making him bold.
"I'm all ears man, and all we have is time." George says urging him on.
"I love Amy, she is as much a part of me, as anything about me now. I love her so much that it scares me. I did not think that love existed before her. I spent my whole life thinking all forms of physical contact were repellant. Before I met Amy I could barely shake someone's hand without finding it abhorrent." Sheldon feels like he is rambling now but there is no stopping now. Sheldon takes a deep breath and continues.
"Then I met her and she broke through all of that. We hold hands, we hug, we kiss, and yes eventually when I am ready we will have coitus." Sheldon tells him.
"Oh man! that is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard! Give me a hug!" George wraps him up in a bear hug, Sheldon pats his back awkwardly, waiting to be released.
"See looky here ,sugar! I told you there was nothing to be worried about!" George releases Sheldon and stare up at his mother stupidly.
"How did you know where we were?" George asks.
"Cause honey, you are just like your daddy. This little fishing hole is where he went a' running off to when things got bad. Also just like your daddy I see that you have been drinking more than your fair share." Mary says surveying the scene, the dock is layered in empty cans. "And I know that Sheldon did not help you with any of this."
"Actually mother, I helped a great deal." Sheldon says getting unsteadily to his feet, he staggers over to Amy noting the change in her appearance. "What, happened to you?" he asks.
"Your mother and sister took me shopping." Amy tells him, she does not think that the change is that drastic. She purchased a couple of items a lighter black dress for Saturday and this little number, a deep purple sundress. It is a lighter material than she normally wears, with more cleavage than she is used to showing. Amy is also wearing a loose knit cropped summer sweater for modesty.
"It looks good, very pretty, it just makes you look different." Sheldon tells her his voice wavering.
"Good Lord in heaven! Did you get him drunk George!" Mary says angrily.
"This is not his first time getting drunk! This is his sixth time getting drunk so you can't be mad!" George tells her.
"I don't care if its his hundredth time! You know the boy has a delicate constitution!" Mary says.
"You got that right, better let him ride with the windows down and be prepared to go through the carwash." Amy tells her.
"OK here's what we are going to do, Missy you drive George and his truck back and I will take the rest on home." Mary tells her.
"I want to go with mama!" Ayden wails grabbing on to Missy's leg.
"Honey there ain't no room in Uncle Georgie's truck for your seat."
"That's OK Missy, little bugger can ride in the front. I will ride in the bed, might help me sober up a bit." George says already staggering to the bed of his truck.
"Fine, I don't think that's the safest place but what do I know." Missy sighs getting the car seat out and transferring it into the truck.
"Alright Mister, get in here." Amy says ushering Sheldon to the passenger side of Mary's car and opening the door.
"No, I want to ride in the back with you!" Sheldon pleads, sounding every bit the petulant toddler that Ayden had.
"I thought you got carsick in the back?" Amy mumbles to herself shutting the door and moving him to the back of the car. Sheldon settles in and leans against the window his face smushed against the glass.
"Alright kids! All buckled in! Let's go!" Mary says firing up the car and backing out of the gravel parking lot. The car swivels around ,she turns to get out of the lot and Sheldon hastily rolls down the window and vomits noisily.
"Told you, that you would need a car wash." Amy tells Mary.
"Does he get like this often?" Mary asks
"Oh, no! I have only seen him like this once, right after he stopped studying string theory." Amy reassures her.
"I'm sad." Sheldon says flopping his body sideways onto Amy's shoulder.
"I know Shelly bean! We all are, we all miss her something awful." Mary tells him looking in the rearview mirror.
"Amy make me feel better." he says sitting up and burying his face info her chest, reminiscent of yesterday,only Amy is missing her protective layers. His face is buried in the flushed skin of her chest. His warm breath caressing her sensitive flesh, it feels intimate. Too intimate too be happening in the backseat of his mothers car. Amy brushes her hand against his hair and he looks up at her. "I love you, Amy " he tells her.
"I love you ,too." Amy tells him.
"Aww, y'all are just too sweet!" Mary calls from the front trying to wipe a tear from her eye without being noticed. This is what was missing from her memories of his adolescent she thinks. With Missy and George it seems like she was always carting them from one date to another. Watching them shyly hold hands through the rear view mirror, stopping back seat make out sessions. Sheldon never did any of that, she carted him from lecture hall, to lecture hall, watching him bury his nose in a book. Even though he is drunk as a skunk it is nice to see her little boy loosened up. Sheldon sits up, its like he momentarily forgot they were in a car driven mother.
"My tummy hurts." he says resting his head on Amy's shoulder again.
"Not surprising, you did not eat any breakfast and you have been drinking beer in the hot sun all morning."
"I know, I had three whole beers, George forced me! That's how men in Texas hash things out." Sheldon tells Amy solemnly.
"Well we need to get you home and let you rest, the day is not over yet." Amy tells him but he is already dozing off against her shoulder.