So sorry for not updating, you all must hate me. I hate leaving things unfinished so here is the final chapter.
xoxoxoxoxo
Ste couldn't get comfortable. He could sense Brendan in the room above him. He tried to fall asleep on the couch but it was no use. He needed to find out where he stood. Why Brendan was being so distant? The longer he stayed in Brendan's home, the more he convinced himself that Brendan just didn't want Ste's blood on his hands, which was why he and Anne had been so protective of him. But he didn't want that, he wanted Brendan to want him, to feel ….something for him. He knew he was being silly, to hope that a man like Brendan would think twice about him. Macca was right, why would someone as attractive and powerful as Brendan want a street rat like him, Brendan could have anyone he wanted.
Ste had decided he had depressed himself enough so he got up and pulled on his shoes; he was just unlocking the door when Brendan's voice broke the silence of the empty house.
"Steven, you leaving?"
Everything that he had been thinking about was reverberating round his head. He could feel his temper bubbling. Brendan had basically been ignoring him for weeks. Ste was sick of feeling like Brendan's plaything.
"You know what Brendan, fuck you. I brought you home and made sure you were ok, I have put up with you ignoring me for weeks, now that the excitement of sneaking about is done you're bored of me, so let me make this easy for you"
Ste slammed the door behind him and rushed back to his flat. Something inside him had snapped, he knew that he couldn't stay here. Staying here and knowing Brendan was near would break him. He knows he's in love, but he also knows that it's once sided. He calls Amy and tells her he's coming home as his heart continues to break.
Xoxoxo
He's back in Chester, sleeping in Amy and Pete's spare room. He's got a job in restaurant washing dishes for a guy he used to know called Tony. He's never felt more alone. When he's not working or playing with the kids he locks himself in his room.
He tried to rid Brendan from his thoughts. He could feel Brendan around him even though he was now in a different country. It was like Brendan was imprinted on his skin, not just his heart. He continued to ignore calls from Anne; he'd made his break he just had to stick to it. He couldn't tell Amy about it, he definitely couldn't tell Pete. The connection was there, Pete may not have seen or spoke to Brendan much in recent years but they had a history, he was too close. Ste found himself hating Pete, or more specifically his voice, his accent, it made it too difficult to avoid the memories he was trying to close himself off from.
So he shut himself in his room.
Xoxoxox
6 months later
From the outside life was good. He was now waiting tables instead of just washing dishes. He had his kids. Life was good. He told himself that, he told Amy that, he told Pete that.
There was a guy, not like that, but there was a guy. He came into the restaurant at least once a week. He was always alone, would always order the same thing. He was always watching Ste. He wasn't Ste's type, there was no attraction there, and if Ste was honest it put him a bit on edge. He was tall and muscular with floppy dirty blond hair. He never sat in Ste's section so they never spoke but Ste was always aware of his presence. Of the man's eyes following him as he went about his work.
One night when Ste was walking home from the restaurant, he got approached by two big guys, they barged straight into him and Ste, being mouthy, had to say something. Big mistake. The two guys turned on him and he was on the ground with one punch, the last thing he remembers is being kicked in the ribs before everything went black.
Xoxoxox
He groaned as he woke up, his ribs hurt like a bitch. Amy was right there, trying to get him comfortable, shuffling his pillows. He tried to lift his head and get his eyes to adjust but the pain was intense. Amy filled in the blanks for him. He was in hospital and had been for three days. Turns out that someone had found Ste and had called an ambulance. They also called 'home' from his mobile so Amy was at the hospital when the ambulance brought him in. No-one knew who had found him.
Xoxoxox
He was back home but on strict bed rest. He was bored. He spent the day watching daytime TV and playing on his phone. It's amazing how much time you can waste on social media sites. He was just dosing off when his phone beeped.
"Hey sweetie, heard about what happened, hope you are ok? Xxx"
It was Anne. He was frozen; he didn't know what to do. He missed her. But his friendship with her was so intrinsically linked to Brendan. It hurt to even think his name. Which in itself was ridiculous, they had never really had a relationship. Yes they had an immense connection, and the sex was incredible but it wasn't a relationship.
"I'm ok, still sore but at least I'm home now x"
He had to send another message, he couldn't help himself.
"How are you, hope everyone is ok"
His phone beeped again, the message only had one word, but that one word made him feel like a bucket of ice had been poured over him. All it said was "Steven".
Ste thought his heart was going to explode, it was only one word, Christ it was only his name, but there was only one person who called him that. It brought memories flooding back, the flirty way Brendan tilted his head to the side as he said it or the breathy moan of 'Steven' as Brendan climaxed.
It was like his body took over, he was Brendan's willing puppet, his heart beat was so quick Ste was sure his chest was about to explode. He text back 'Brendan'.
About thirty seconds later his phone beeped again but from a different number
'You ok Steven? It's quiet here without you'
Ste couldn't believe Brendan was texting him. It had been months, so long without him. His resolve broke as he text back.
Xoxoxo
6 months later
Ste was back at work, back on his feet. He had found some semblance of himself again. He was happier than he had been in a long time. He had his work, his kids and now he had a friendship with Brendan. It felt weird to think that. That he was friends with Brendan. They hadn't seen each other since Ste had left Ireland, but they text each other constantly. Ste refused to talk to him on the phone, knowing that his resolve would crumble if he heard Brendan's voice. He would not be able to control his tongue if they actually spoke, the outpouring of love that would follow and cause Brendan to close up again. He had decided that friendship with Brendan was better than nothing and he knew in his heart that he never stood a chance with a man like Brendan. So they text. They got to know each other again.
Tonight was going to be special. It was Amy's thirtieth birthday. Pete had booked out the restaurant and had organised a surprise party for her. Ste was in the corner watching the kids dance with Amy. He was happy but he wished that Brendan was here to share this with him. He felt his phone beep and he couldn't keep the smile from his face. He knew I was Brendan, but the text made no sense.
'Why aren't you enjoying the party? BB'
'I am, I'm watching the kids dance'
'Your face tells a different story'
Ste was confused, what did Brendan mean, how did he know? His phone beeped again.
'Look up'
Ste looked up and across from him stood Brendan and Anne. Pete had made his way over to them but just as he got there Brendan began to walk away. He walked towards Ste and before Ste could say anything Brendan leaned down and captured his lips in a chaste kiss. Ste couldn't help himself, as Brendan pulled back Ste linked his hands around Brendan's neck and pulled him close again. They shared a soft kiss a brush of tongues, it was slow and intimate. When Brendan pulled away Ste couldn't bring himself to open his eyes. If this was a dream he didn't want to wake up.
Brendan brought his hand up to brush a non-existent hair from Ste's forehead, a small smile gracing his lips. Ste opened his eyes and his breath rushed out of him. He couldn't believe this was happening. Brendan was just as gorgeous as he remembered. He looked over Brendan's shoulders and saw Amy, Anne and Pete all staring at them. Pete and Anne had knowing grins on their faces but Amy looked furious. She strode across the dance floor and pulled Brendan back by the elbow. Pete and Anne weren't far behind, with Pete trying to pull Amy back, but she was all fired up and determined to tell Brendan exactly what she thought of him. She didn't know the whole story; Ste could never bring himself to tell her everything.
Tony appeared behind them and guided Ste and the group into the staff room, away from the party. The room was quiet and for once Brendan looked a bit disarmed. He looked at Amy as if trying to decide what to do next. He smiled and said 'so you must be the lovely Amy?' That was it, Amy launched into a verbal attack. Pete and Anne tried to intervene but Brendan stood there and took it. She didn't look like she was stopping any time soon and Ste had had enough. He was done with being talked about like he wasn't even there.
'Aaaaaargh Amy stop, just stop'
Amy tried to say she only wanted the best for him, that she loved him, but Ste didn't want to listen, he couldn't listen. So much had happened in the last half an hour, his head was spinning. He turned to Amy,
'Listen Ames, I'm sorry for shouting ok, but please just stop, I don't even know what's happening and you screaming at me is not helping'
'But Ste he's a monster, he's not been bothered with you in months and he just turns up here expecting to kiss you and for everything to be ok, well it's not, you can't see straight when you're with him'
'I can't see anything when I'm not Amy'
Ste can hear Anne's intake of breathe behind him. He's suddenly aware of the intensity of not just what he's said, but the fact that he's said it in front of all these people and Brendan. Ste suddenly wanted to run from the room, what had he done. Brendan wouldn't take this well. Amy was dumbstruck, her mouth fell open and she had no words left. Ste was starting to panic but then something shifted, he felt Brendan take his hand in his and intertwine their fingers. Ste stared at their joined hands. He couldn't look up it was like he was frozen in time, he just wanted to stay like this, in his bubble, with Brendan holding his hand. Brendan wasn't the most tactile man outside of the bedroom and Ste wanted to savour this. But Brendan tilted his chin up and lent in for a chaste kiss.
Pete cleared his throat and moved towards the door 'let's go get a drink' and ushered Anne and Amy out of the room.
Ste continued to stare at Brendan, if this was a dream he didn't want to wake up. Brendan smiled at him and leaned forward to close the gap. This kiss wasn't like the others; it was like someone had turned the heat up. They pounced on each other, clothes flying off left, right and centre. There was a need, a hunger in Brendan's eyes. He lifted Ste's thighs and pushed him hard against the door. Ste wrapped his legs around Brendan's waist and soon enough Brendan withdrew his fingers and Ste could feel the pressure of Brendan's dick and as the head entered him, he let out a whine. He hadn't been with anyone since Brendan and getting himself off didn't prepare him for this. He knew he was tight but Brendan's head fell against his shoulder as he emitted the filthiest groan Ste had ever heard. It was carnal, it was quick and the climax was heady. Ste knew they needed to talk. The sex had always been the easy part of them, the attraction between them was intense but they had gone from texting to ripping each other's clothes off with barely any words exchanged.
As they went about getting dressed they couldn't keep their eyes off of each other, or their hands for that matter. Eventually they went back out into the restaurant and headed towards the bar. Brendan ordered a whiskey and Ste a vodka and coke. They lasted half an hour of small talk with Pete and Anne, Amy keeping her distance, before the made their excuses and headed back to Brendan's hotel.
It's awkward when the hotel room door closes. Brendan pours them both a drink. There's so much to talk about, but where do they start.
Ste decides honesty is the best policy; this is never going to work if he doesn't get everything off of his chest. If he continues to hide his feelings.
'I missed you'
Xoxoxox
It took two days. Two days of talking, arguing, crying (on Ste's part) and of course fucking, before they came to an agreement. They left the hotel and made their way to Pete and Amy's.
Pete and Brendan went into the kitchen while Ste talked to Amy. He told her that he was moving back to Ireland, he was going to help run Brendan's club. Amy predictably was not amused. But once they had talked it through and Pete had intervened, Amy agreed that Ste had to try. Even she could see that Ste hadn't been happy since he'd been back. She could see how much he loved Brendan, so she gave him a hug and told him he could always come home. At some point while Ste packed up his belongings she took Brendan to the side and made him promise to look after Ste.
Xoxoxox
After a long Saturday shift Ste emerged from the office and made his way over to the bar. What he saw there stopped him in his tracks. Brendan was sitting in a far off booth with a man. He looked familiar but Ste couldn't place him. He knew Brendan was no angel but he also knew he had been trying to step back from the more serious deals, and although he would never be completely above board he was definitely trying. That's why Ste had a bad feeling. He made his way across the dance floor and the closer he got, the more uneasy he felt. He realised how he knew the man, he flashed back in his life to the restaurant
"There was a guy, not like that, but there was a guy. He came into the restaurant at least once a week. He was always alone, would always order the same thing. He was always watching Ste. He wasn't Ste's type, there was no attraction there, and if Ste was honest it put him a bit on edge. He was tall and muscular with floppy dirty blond hair"
Why was he here, how did Brendan know him…Ste was about to find out.
He approached the booth and Brendan looked up, he had the good sense to look sheepish, if you could ever call Brendan that. Ste stands at the front of the booth and looks between the blond haired man and Brendan. The other man stands up saying "I'll leave you too it Brady" and walks away. Ste goes to sit down but Brendan stands up saying "not here Steven". He gets his coat and Ste follows him out of the club and back to their home. Brendan is quiet and Ste is doesn't know what to say, is confused as to why the man from the restaurant is here in their club and why he was sitting with Brendan.
Xoxoxox
Once they get home Brendan goes straight to the kitchen and opens a bottle of whiskey.
"Who is he Brendan, do you know him?"
Brendan walks over to Ste takes his face in his hands and kisses the breath from his lungs.
"Sit down Steven, promise me you'll hear me out and after that, I'll let you do what you want, you can leave, hit me, I won't stop you"
Ste feels gripped with panic. This is it Brendan has found someone else, someone better. Ste sits while trying to hold back the tears.
Brendan begins to talk.
"His name is Walker, Simon Walker. He's an old friend. I met his in prison years ago and we've kept in touch. It's not what you think Steven; I can see it on your face. I needed you safe. Macca started sending threats, he knew where you had gone and I couldn't let him hurt you, hurt you or the kids. I couldn't find him. I tried; I promise I never stopped trying to find him. But until I could I needed to keep you safe. Walker owed me a favour, so I called it in. He kept an eye on you, made sure you were safe. I needed you safe"
"It were him that called the ambulance and Amy for me weren't it?"
Brendan nods. He looks at the ground. Ste has never seen him like this before. He looks scared, like Ste holds all the power here, the power to make or break him with his next words. Ste moves across the room and cups his hands around Brendan's face. He whispers thank you and leans forward to kiss Brendan on the forehead.
Brendan looks shocked, like he can't believe Ste is still here, that he has forgiven him for not only interfering in his life, but have him followed and ultimately introducing Macca into his life.
But before he can get swept up in Steven still being here, he has to continue, if he stops now he'll never get it all out.
"I found him; well Walker found him two weeks ago. I had to Steven; he was never going to stop. I didn't do it directly but his blood is still on my hands. That's why Walker was here; to tell me it's done".
Ste reels back. He knew Brendan had a dark side but this, how could he get past this? Brendan moved closer.
"Please Steven, I did it for you, he never would have stopped and I couldn't lose you. I need you to be with me on this Steven. I'd rather live my life without you but knowing that you were safe than live in world without you in it. I love you Steven, I can't live my life without you"
Ste was frozen, he couldn't move. He stared at a spot on the wall as tears dripped off of his chin. His head was spinning. His decision now had the power to make or break both of them. He'd never felt more pressure. The weight of two people's happiness on his shoulders. He really didn't know what to do. He looked up and saw Brendan, his beautiful sapphire eyes and he realised, he could take whatever Brendan could throw at him, and he could carry them both, as long as they were together.
None died who didn't deserve to die.
Ste moved across the room and crawled into Brendan's lap. The kiss was slow and tender. Ste was frightened that they would shatter, that at some point something would come along that would break them. But he was determined to fight for them.
Brendan still seemed unsure. Ste couldn't figure out why, but then it dawned on him that something was missing. He pulled away from Brendan's kiss and touched their foreheads together.
"I love you too Brendan"
And that was it; Brendan threw him backwards onto the couch and ripped his top off like a man possessed. They had come so close to losing this. Brendan ground down onto Ste, his hardness rubbing against his black work trousers creating a delicious friction. Brendan got out of his own clothes and climbed back on top of Ste.
This was like never before, it was slow and tender. Every time Ste felt close to release Brendan would manoeuvre them. The change of position giving Ste a different sensation, always on the edge of climax.
When release finally came it was to the sound of whispered I love you's.
Xoxox
So that was them. They were together, everyone knew. Brendan was more open about his relationship with Ste. There wasn't the same confusion as when he was with Macca. Everyone could see why they were together. They challenged each other. The fought and they fucked. Ste ranted and sulked, Brendan went off and got drunk, but they always found their way back to each other.
Pete and Brendan rebuilt their friendship and even Amy came round in the end. She would always be wary; her best friend's happiness was so interlinked with Brendan that she feared what would happen to Ste if it all crumbled. But the more time she spent with them the more she realised that it wasn't all one way. Brendan was the same.
They loved each other. They completed each other.