Got my charger back so I should be able to update the next chapter with a little more ease. Again I own none of these characters
Sheldon has been awake for a while staring at the glow in the dark stars on his ceiling. He remembers the day his mother hung them up, May 20th 1986. Quite frankly he is surprised that they still have their luminosity after all these years. When Sheldon woke up it was from a vague fuzzy dream with a deep sense of contentment. Unsure why he felt so happy til he looked down and saw the dark shiny head of Amy Farrah Fowler resting on his chest.
The events of the previous evening come flooding back and he thinks about each moment in delicious detail. Never so happy to have an eidetic memory as now.
Sheldon is still shocked that he ,to quote Leonard, "had it in him." Sex had never interested Sheldon, it was never something that he thought about. When he was at the age when his hormones were supposedly flying Sheldon was occupied with learning. Sex was just never brought to his attention before living with his first room-mate.
Ryan Kwan had been the impetus for such stringent requirements on the room-mate agreement. The guy had made Howard Wolowitz look like a discreet gentleman in both decorum and manners. The man was constantly assaulting him with a barrage of inappropriate inquiries to his proclivities. Sheldon thinks back on the first conversation that they had after he had moved his things in.
"So do you mind if I have girls over?" Ryan asked.
"Why would you have girls over? Like as a study group? I suppose with enough warning that would be acceptable." He told him.
"No man! I mean to you know." he then made a strange clicking noise with his tongue and wiggled his eyebrows.
"I most certainly do not know what you mean."
"Are you gay? Because it is cool if you are with me." Ryan had asked
"Am I gay? I am not happy in particular now, but I am prone to periods of whimsy just like anybody else." He had known what he meant, his brother had called him that thousands of times. He had learned though if he played coy with the meaning of a phrase, the subject was often dropped
"No, I mean do you like to sleep with dudes?" Ryan persisted
"In college I briefly shared a dorm room with another fellow. Strange though one night while I was working in the lab he packed up all his things never to return again. From then on I was able to have a room to myself which suited me better."
"No, man I mean do you like to have sex with other guys?" Ryan persisted.
"Oh, you mean am I a homosexual?" If he was going to be asked about it might as well use the correct terms.
"Yes."Ryan says exasperated.
"No, I am not."
"So you go out with girls?"
"I am finished with this conversation as it has started to circle. If you must have guests over, please submit to me in writing a formal request before inviting over any."
Sheldon had been so embarrassed by that conversation, it was the first time he was asked directly about his orientation. Being teased about something was much different from being asked flat-out. The truth be told he thought about it so little he never thought he had to declare himself to be anything. It wasn't until his mid-twenties that he discovered you were meant to declare yourself as one side or the other like warring factions. People just did not seem to grasp the fact that he was a neutral party. That he viewed both genders the same, he wanted as little to do with both them as possible.
Then he met Amy and all of that changed, it did not happen all at once like flipping a switch. No Amy was cunning in her quest to win him over. Amy had quietly assimilated herself into his life. Crept her way in to the point that imaging life with out her was unthinkable.
Sheldon brushes her hair down with his free hand and she sighs in her sleep. Amy snuggled deeper into him ,her hand gently stroking his side as she does. The sensation of her breath combined with the gentle caress sends a thrill up his spine. Not to long ago contact like this would have made his skin crawl, with anyone else it still would. The first time Amy had touched him and he had felt the thrill of sensation it had scared him terribly.
The rush of ardor that came over him when he looked at her made no sense to him at first. He had tried to explain it away, it couldn't be desire, he had never felt desire before. The more conclusion's he tried to invent the more he circled back to the truth. That he loved her, and not only that he desired her.
For years he had tried to deny how deeply he felt for her, scared to give himself over to unfamiliar territory. Not anymore, losing Memaw had made him think about how tenuous their time on earth really was. Not that he thought Memaw would live forever but he had never accepted that he could lose her so soon.
Lose her and never get to say a proper goodbye, to tell her how much she had meant to him. Now he would never see her again, he would never receive another letter addressed in her spidery scrawl, never hear her call him Moonpie again.
What if ,heaven forbid, something happened to Amy? Certainly Amy was a young vibrant woman and in no danger of dying soon. Yet the world is full of unseen events. Amy could die in a car crash, she could catch a virus in her lab and never bounce back. The hypothetical thought of losing her brings tears to his eyes and be holds her close.
Sheldon drifts off to sleep again formulating a plan in his head. Sheldon thinks Amy is aware of how deep his feeling for her are but he is going to make sure that she is positive.
It is early, still dark out when Mary steps outside, she pulls a pack of cigarettes out of her robe pocket. The last time that she had one was the day that George Sr. died. Mary had promised herself then that it would be her last. Then she had bought this pack on the way home from the hospital after Memaw had passed. The pack had been in her purse for days untouched, until now. Mary lights one takes a deep drag and sighs, watching the smoke curl upwards to the sky that is slowly changing from indigo to lavender. Mary takes one more deep drag stubs it out , then takes the pack out crushes it and tosses it into the trash.
There is nothing in the world that ails you that can't be fixed with a good nights sleep and a strong cup of coffee. That's what her Mama had always told her at least. For the most part Mary had always found it, to be true. Last night Mary had been so upset she was sure she would have been able to spit fire.
Yet now not a trace of that anger lingered, she is wasn't happy but she wasn't mad. What Sheldon had said to her when he caught her in a compromising position last year had kept playing through her head. That boy was always acting so superior, talking to her about hypocrisy, who was the hypocrite now?
It is always hard watching your kids grow up she thinks, stepping back inside. Mary puts on a pot of coffee letting her mind wander as it percolates. What had she expected?It had been her own suggestion that had them sleeping in the same room. Yeah but you were mighty pleased when he came out asking for sheets for the trundle Mary argues with herself.
Shelly was a grown man now, it was so easy to still think of him as a 's feelings for Shelly had always been so complicated. In some ways he grew up so much faster than Missy and George. Shelly could do just about everything before they could. Hell ,the boy was in college while George was still in little league. Then in some ways he had stayed her little boy so much longer. Sheldon was just so innocent, it was nice not worry about that with your son that way. Not anymore, though, despite what he had told her the other day.
That was the other thing that had bothered her, it wasn't like Shelly to lie, the boy was a terrible liar. Mary supposed that everyone changed, but things around here were changing so fast it was enough to make her head spin.
Amy wakes up still snuggled on Sheldon's chest. Amy lays there quiet for a moment listening to the steady thump of his heart. Still trying to process all that had happened in such a short amount of time. Amy is feeling a strange mixture of elation and guilt that she has only felt once before in her life.
When she was younger her mother had forbidden from eating candy. She told Amy that it rotted the mind as well as the teeth. Then one day on her way to school she stopped at the store and bought herself a Snickers bar. Amy had dreamed about what it would taste like and it exceeded her expectations. To this day she can still remember the way the chocolate melted in her mouth, the feel of the caramel on her tongue, and the crunch of the peanuts. It was pure ecstasy, but afterwards Amy was with guilt. The rest of the day at school her stomach twisted in knots. Just thinking about what her mother would say when she found out. By the time she arrived home she was in tears, she had never gone against her mothers wishes before.
What she wouldn't give to speak to Penny or Bernadette now. Amy knows logically that she is a grown woman and that she can eat as much "candy" as she wants . Yet she still feels naughty, like she has done a very bad thing, and she doesn't know why. Then her mind starts racing in a million different directions, what happened now?
Amy feels the inexplicable urge to run away, she does not want to face what the morning might bring. Last night Sheldon was so affectionate, full tender touches and passionate kisses. Amy does not think she can go back to the way it was before. Never touching, stilted date night kisses. Now that she had a taste of what could be she wanted more. Even now she was afraid of touching him to much, afraid that when his eyes open he will ask what she is still doing in his arms.
Amy gets up cautiously trying her best not to wake him up. Once she is out of the bed he rolls over and hugs a pillow to his chest. Sheldon mumbles something in his sleep that Amy can't make out Amy sneaks out of the room and finds the bathroom already occupied. So she pads down the hall to the kitchen in search of liquid. Suddenly her throat feels desert dry.
Mary is already sitting at the kitchen table staring out the window at the sun just beginning to rise. Mary seems oblivious to Amy's arrival so it shocks Amy when Mary asks without looking at her.
"You want some coffee, honey?"
"I'm not a big coffee drinker, I'll take some tea if you have it."
"Kettle is in the cabinet with the pink tea towel on it. The tea is in the cabinet above it go ahead and help yourself." Amy gets the tea-things out, disappointed with the lack of selection. It makes her homesick for Sheldon's tea box back home with its neatly ordered rows. All Mary has is Tetley tea but Amy does not complain. Amy makes her tea and sits at the table with Mary.
"We are both up early aren't we?" Amy comments blowing on her tea trying to break the stifling silence. Amy does not know Mary well but she has never known her, so stormily silent.
"I thought you would be awfully tuckered out after your board game session in the tree house last night." Mary says stirring her coffee absently.
Amy turns bright red, tears sting her eyes, she is so humiliated. Amy gets up and heads out the back door wishing that she had somewhere to hide. That was Amy's coping mechanism when she got to mad or just did not feel like dealing with something she was out the door. Amy was not big on confrontation and running away was always the simpler solution. Amy sits down on a metal porch swing and let's herself cry. Soon she feels someone sit down beside of her and she looks up to see Mary.
"You don't mind if I sit a spell with you?" Mary asks.
"No."
"Well honey it seems like you are more nervous than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs, the way you shot out of that room." Mary tells her.
"I'm embarrassed, by my behavior last night." Amy tells her.
"I take it that carrying on in tree forts during family functions is not your something you normally do?" Mary says.
"None of this, is things that I normally would do." Amy says stiffly wiping her tears on her sleeves.
"What are you saying honey?"
"No offense Mary but I don't think this a topic that I feel comfortable discussing with my boyfriends mother." Amy tells her.
"We are practically family by now, don't you feel you have to hold anything back from me. I am an open-minded woman, think of my not as Sheldon's mother but as a friend. I am sorry if I offended you back thee but I was just teasing you honey I swear. I am just used to Missy who can take it as well a she dishes it out. I should have been more sensitive" Mary senses that the tears are about more than a comment about board games. Mary still feels terrible, she had expected some witty retort in return.
"Last night was my first time, and I am scared." Amy admits to her feeling satisfied to have the burden off her chest. Mary is floored this is a conversation she never expected to have and she handles it with a much dignity as she can muster.
"Sweetie there is no need to be scared, or ashamed. You are a grown woman and he is a grown man , you both are free to make your own choices in life. It is clear to me as the day is long that my boy is head over heels in love with you." Mary tells her wrapping her arm around her shoulder. Just then the door opens and Sheldon walks out wrapped up in his robe.
"There are my two favorite girls." he says beaming and Mary and Amy return his smile. "I have been looking all over for you, I just got some excellent news." Sheldon seems positively giddy.
"Whats up?" Amy asks curiously.
"Leonard and Penny are arriving today! Their flight gets in at three o clock!"
"Oh that's wonderful sugar, I was hoping your friend could make it" Mary tells him.
"Great we can go pick them up together." Amy say's faking enthusiasm, as much as she is excited for the arrival of her bestie in this unfamiliar territory. Amy is worried what the arrival of Leonard will do to upset the closeness she has found with Sheldon the past few days.