Chapter 3

Fiyero

The night before the first audition for The Recruiting Officer, I was awake in my tent, reading The Oziad and trying to write a letter to my darling Sarima, but neither of those things were a success. Yes, my mind was preoccupied with the upcoming auditions, but I also heard … something. Laughter. Distant, but still, distracting. It sounded like a woman; it was a high pitched cackle, like an old hag, yet somehow I could tell that the woman was young. Could it be Pfanee Mordam, the thief? No! She never laughed! It was the green girl, Thropp, of course! What a unique laugh …

"Fiyero?"

"Huh?" I nearly jumped out of my skin as I turned to see Nessa sitting in the outskirts of my tent.

She grinned. "Hope I'm not interrupting anything. May I come in?"

"Oh, of course! Please do!" I hastily moved some junk out of her way as she rolled in. "You hungry? I have some biscuits …"

"No thanks, I'm not all that hungry," Nessa said thoughtfully. "You have a journal, don't you, Fiyero?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I wish I had the patience for a journal. It would fill volumes, volumes! My travels with Captain Diggs … Oh, I know he's the governor now, but I still just call him plain old captain. He likes that." We shared a smile. Once in a while, Nessa just had to vent, and I had to listen. "Boq has gone silent on me again. I try to tell him that he should be grateful! I saved his life, you know?"

"I know."

"He was arrested in Restwater for stealing two golden candlesticks. He was going to be hanged, but I got his name put on the transport list. I was already deposed at this point, but I still had some influence. But every time I try to remind him of that, he says he doesn't care. Eighteen years old, and he does care if he lives or dies!"

I tried to change the subject. "You know, Nessa, I think Boq would be good in the play."

She looked absolutely horrified at the idea. "With Pfanee Mordam? Glinda Upland?! Sweet Oz, Fiyero, do you think I am mad?! I don't want him looked at by all those women!"

"Then, how about a small role? A servant, perhaps?" One must try to be reasonable with Nessarose Thropp, if at all possible.

"Would he be noticed?"

"Not in the least," I said confidently. "Nessa, you know I'm going to try out your sister for the play as well. I think she would be good for Silvia."

"I don't have a sister." It shocked me how sincere she sounded.

I sighed. "Come on, Nessa, she may be a criminal, but she's your sister! Your elder sister! Can you at least acknowledge her?"

"Father disowned her, actually," Nessa said coldly. "So therefore, she's not my sister. And this is the last time I'm talking about this. Fiyero, I saw her last night."

"Elphaba?"
"No. Manda Backker." And this was another thing about Nessa. She was a bit of a schizophrenic.

"You hanged her a month ago, Nessa."

"She had a rope. She's come back. She wants Boq, I know! That's what she said on the day she was turned off: 'Boq wants me,' she said. 'He'll always want me.'"

"You should keep these things to yourself, Nessa."

Then I think she realized that she had said too much. "I'm sorry, Fiyero. I think I'll go now. It was good talking to you, though. I like you. Do you know how rare it is for a man and a woman to have a completely clean friendship? I like what we have."

"I'll see you tomorrow, Nessa."

"See you."

My first prospective player the next day was Yackle Long. She was an older woman, sort of a mother to the other women in the colony. And she was a whore. "I heard you was asking for some women, Lieutenant," she cooed, as if she was still out on the street. "Well, here I am!"

"You don't understand, Long," I said patiently. "I would like some young women to act in a play."

"Oh, you don't want young women for your peculiars, Lieutenant. They don't know nothing." She leaned into my face so hard that I could smell her awful perfume.

"No, I would like some women to play certain parts in this play." That was a poor choice of words, it turned out.

"Oh, I can play, Lieutenant. I can play any part you like!" Oz, what had I signed up for? "You know, we all thought you was a magecull."

"A what?!"

"A prissy, a girl. You having no she-lag on the way here. On the way here, maybe you was motion sick. But three months here? And now you want many women at once? I'm very glad to hear that, Lieutenant! You just let me know when you want Yackle. Old Shitty Yackle." She walked slowly away, moving her hips as she went. Well, that was pointless.

About a half hour later, Avaric Tenmeadows bounded into my yard. "Hello, Mr. Tigulaar!" he exclaimed. "I call you Mr. Tigulaar as one calls Mr. Garrique Mr. Garrique."

"I've seen you in the wagon."

"Different circumstances, Mr. Tigulaar. Best forgotten. I was a gentleman once, a pickpocket, the top of my profession. Then, my fortune turned, the wheel. You're doing a play, I hear!"

"Yes, I am. Tenmeadows …"

"Ah, I have seen many plays in the Emerald City! You could call me a theatre expert. Oh, how I miss the hoi ploi of the EC! Mr. Garrique, ShenShen Wadding. He was so cruel to her, and she was so pale!" Oz, did this burnt out place impair people's ability to get to the point?!

"Tenmeadows, I think you would be good for the role of Worthy. Do you want it?"

He acted like I had just offered to make him the Ozma Regent. "Oh yes, Mr. Tigulaar! Yes, let me perform on your stage! Let me feel the thrill of a play about to begin! But I see ladies approaching. Our future Waddings! Ladies!"

Tenmeadows did a vast bow, but I barely noticed. The two ladies of whom Tenmeadows was speaking of were Glinda Upland … and Elphaba Thropp.