The morning sun shone on Austria's face. The sunshine warmed his face but also annoyed him so he was drifted out of his sleep, slowly and surely. The more Austria regained his consciousness, the more he noticed this one thing: Silence. The ringing in his ears was completely gone! Austria felt relieved. He went to bed late yesterday because of this whole awful trip to the hospital after this failed performance. Austria didn't dare show his face in public for a while. Falling on the steps did hurt but his pride was very fragile as well. Austria lifted up his arm. There were some light bruises on it. He could only imagine how many bruises, if it was possible, his pride had. As Austria flumped his arm back down, he felt as though something sliced his heart and poured cold water on him. He lifted his arm and flumped it down again. No sound. He couldn't hear the sound of the duvet being hit by his arm! Austria panicked and started to hit the mattress violently. Hungary came running in to the room.
"Austria! What are you doing?!" Hungary exclaimed.
Austria stopped hitting the mattress as he saw Hungary stand in front of their double bed. Hungary had a shocked and worried expression on her face. He could see she was exclaiming loudly, but he couldn't hear a thing she said.
"I can't hear!" Austria yelled.
Hungary immediately stopped talking. She was shocked by what Austria said and by the volume of his voice. She never knew Austria was able to yell so loudly! Austria crawled to the end of the bed and gripped Hungary's waist. His grip was not hard but it was still firm, as if he was going to drown or something.
"I can't hear the ringing in my ears, I can't hear your voice, and I can't hear myself talk!" Austria panicked more and more.
Hungary was stunned at the sight and by the actions of her husband. Never in her whole life has she seen him so panicky. He was always so calm in scary and pressuring situations, like wars and economic crisis. But now he looked like a child whose bad conscience broke and was ready to confess all bad things he has done. Hungary gripped Austria's upper arms. Unlike Austria's, Hungary's grasp was harder.
"Really?! You can't hear anything?" Hungary said and she was getting a bit panicky as well.
Austria looked sadly at Hungary as she spoke. Her mouth was moving, but there was no sound. Austria pressed his face to her abdomen. Since Hungary didn't receive any answer to her question, she decided to do a final test.
"Austria, do you like cake? Do you speak German? Is it alright with you that Prussia sneaks into our room and fuck me every night?"
She felt really bad for asking the last question but since he didn't react at all on anything, it was a solid proof: Austria was now completely deaf.
"
Austria sat by the saloon table with a cup of coffee in his hands. He was still in his pajamas and despite holding the coffee cup for a while; he drank nothing from it. He looked around the room rapidly as if he suddenly ended up in a completely unknown place. How could complete silence be so awful? Out from the window he saw how the trees and the bushes were blown by the wind. Many children thought the sound of the wind was a scary sound but to Austria it was even scarier to see how the wind blew without a sound. He even wanted the ringing in his ears back. The sound was torturing and annoying, yes, but at least it was a sound…
Hungary patted Austria's shoulder. Austria turned his head and saw Hungary carry a notebook in her hands and a sad expression on her face. She wrote in the notebook:
"I think we must go to the doctor" Hungary wrote.
Austria shook his head.
"No. I don't want any confirmation of my deafness; I know my condition perfectly well!" No matter how loud Austria yelled, it was still quiet as death.
"Maybe something can be done" Hungary wrote.
"I strongly doubt it. If nothing could be done for the tinnitus, how can something be done for the deafness?"
Hungary was about to write something but Austria put his hand on her writing hand.
"I don't want to communicate with you like this, Hungary. I want to hear your voice again; I want to hear everything again. I don't even know if I speak correctly, I can only feel my throat vibrate and my mouth move but I can't hear my words. Who knows how long it will take for me to lose the ability to talk. But does it matter? It's not like I need it anymore anyway…"
Austria rose up from his chair and walked away. Hungary remained seated by the saloon table with Austria's now cold, untouched coffee on it. Hungary had the feeling she had to go after him but let it be. Austria was in the state of shock and despair; she had to let the situation sink into him a bit. But would he be able to? How was it like to become deaf if you were a musician?
"
Austria, now out of his pajamas and in casual wear, stared at his piano. He was on the verge of crying.
"I can never play again" Austria thought.
Austria found a little bright spot. He could still hear his own thoughts, well, kind of. But his inner voice was not enough. Austria loved music and now he wouldn't be able to hear it anymore. How Beethoven managed to compose music deaf was beyond him, the thought of making music without being able to hear sounded impossible. The joy of making music and the whole point of doing it was because of the sound. How could his life chance after just a day?
"I guess it's goodbye to this" Austria thought and turned around.
After closing the door to his music room, he walked in the hallway and opened the exterior door. He had no idea where he was headed to; he just felt like he needed to walk. He could walk as long as he wanted to but there would be no place to find his hearing.