Oh my Oz, I am SO SORRY this is horrendibly late! I am a lazy person.

I still don't own Wicked or Our Country's Good, though.

Enjoy!

Chapter 8

Kalidah

I didn't want to be a hangman. Oz, I didn't even want to commit any crimes! Yet, here I was, in the Badlands, exiled, far away from my home in the Western Glikkus. If only I had never left it! I originally wanted to go to Shiz, but I couldn't get a scholarship. So, I decided to go to the EC. I got a job there, as a transporter of goods from Quadling Country. If I hadn't been at the port to QC on Highsummer 14, in the 17th year of Ozma the Billious' reign, maybe I wouldn't have had to go to this disgusting place.

What happened was this: I was at the port, loading some boxes of shoes onto my trunk. My two friends, Tip and Mombus, were visiting me, and we were just chatting, minding our own business. But then, we heard a commotion. A wagoner from Qhoyre had gotten into a fight with one of my colleagues over carrying charges, and soon enough, all of us were involved. I threw a couple punches, just so I wouldn't look stupid, but I didn't kill anyone. But, they picked five people out of the crowd, and I was one of the five. Lucky me, right? They asked me who started the fight; they told me I had two choices: hang or give the names. What else could I do?

For my troubles, I was sent to the Badlands, with Animals, murderers, rapists, witches, and whores. And all of them developed a hatred for me once I became the hangman. Even Elphaba Thropp, the saintly green angel, spat me off with her friends, Upland and Mordam. I'm afraid I might have to hang Mordam one day …

That night, I visited Lieutenant Tigulaar in his tent. As I approached, I could hear him praying to the Unnamed God. "And please keep my darling Sarima and our dear boy, Irji, alive and well." As I entered, he was about to kiss his wife's picture, but, hearing me, he jumped in surprise. "Kalidah! What in Oz name are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry, sir," I said. "I didn't mean to disturb your prayers. I myself say a hundred every night, and two hundred on days when …" Ozdammit, I was babbling. "I'll let you finish, sir."

Lieutenant Tigulaar sighed. "What do you want, Freeman?"

"The green girl's your whore, right?"

"What?!" he exclaimed, choking on his drink. "No! I don't have whores!"

I backed off. "To be sure, of course! But, I have to tell you – she can be cruel. Her and her friends, they attacked me today!"

He raised his eyebrows. "Attacked you?"

"Yes, sir!"

"Physically?"

"Well … no. But still! I don't deserve such abuse! What did I do wrong?"

"Kalidah, go back to camp," Lieutenant Tigulaar said impatiently. "I'll see you in the morning." But I would not give up.

"You know why I wanted to be in your play, Lieutenant?"

"I don't know and I don't care."

But even so, I told him the story of that fateful day at the port to Quadling Country, and the fight that started, and how I gave the names so I wouldn't be hung. "What would you have done?" I asked him. "If they said, 'Hang or give the names'?"

"I wouldn't have been in that situation, Freeman."

"Oh, of course!" We sat in an awkward silence for a little bit. "I didn't want to die, Lieutenant. 'Cause I'm not sure where I'm going when I die. That's why I can't die! Not until I'm sure."

"That's very understandable, Freeman, but how does that connect to you wanting to be in The Recruiting Officer?"

I sighed. "I want respect; I want to be loved! The women here don't want me. All they do is hiss and spit me off!" Lieutenant Tigulaar looked sympathetic, so I decided to tell him my greatest wish. "Lieutenant, I want to be an actor."

Thanks for reading!

Cheers,

Elle Dottore