Bonus scene, several weeks later on the train heading home:
Jim and Artie settled into their seats, glad to be at last starting out on the long trip back to America, glad especially that Artie's gunshot wound had healed up nicely with only minor scarring. As the pair gazed out the window watching Pterovnia slipping away behind them, they thought over their recent adventures here in the Old World. And Jim remembered something.
"By the way, Artie, you never did explain why you nearly had a conniption fit over the name of that Carpanian baron."
"Um… You, uh, you mean Baron Von, er, Stuppe?"
"Yes, that's the one. What's so funny about him?"
"We-ell… You wouldn't, uh, happen to know any Yiddish, would you, Jim?"
"Not a whole lot, no. Why?"
"Because the name, er, Stuppe — well, it's a Yiddish word."
"All right. What's it mean?"
His face gradually turning bright red, Artie finally said, "Something I'd, uh, rather not explain. Especially since there happen to be ladies present."
Jim looked around. "Well, present, yes. But the only ladies around are all the way over there at the far end of the car. They won't overhear us."
"Sorry, Jim. I refuse to talk about this with ladies present, and that's that."
A few minutes later Jim looked around again. "Well, how about that, Artie! All the ladies have left the car for now. So what does Stuppe mean? Sounds like it might mean 'stupid.' "
Artie squirmed in his seat, then turned to stare at the area the ladies had previously occupied, willing them to come back and rescue him.
"Come on, Artie. I told you before, even if they were here, the ladies' seats are too far away for them to overhear us. So just go ahead and get it over with. Tell me what the word means!"
Artie winced royally. "Seriously, Jim, as long as there are ladies in existence on planet Earth, I don't wanna explain what that word means!"
"O… k…" said Jim slowly. "A Yiddish word, you say? Fine, the next time we run into a rabbi, I'll just ask him to explain it." He picked up a newspaper and started to peruse the front page.
Instantly Artie clutched Jim's arm and stared at him in horror. "A rabbi! Great jumping balls of St Elmo's fire, Jim, don't you dare go ask a rabbi about the Yiddish word for sex!"
FIN
Author's note: Thanks go to Nydiva for supplying me with the real meaning of Stuppe (like Jim, I thought it meant 'stupid') and thus inspiring the final joke here.