I will be subtly mocking a great many people who deserve to be mocked in this chapter. If you are at all offended by the implications i make, remember that i just don't care : D

If any one person can guess all four of Orochimaru's guests (They are NOT from Naruto. Three are historical figures and the final one (the one in gold) represents a group) Guess all successfully, and you can name any woman in the Naruto universe, and Naruto will end up with her. Feel free to guess multiple times, and i wish you all the best of luck.

OH! And this is meant to replace Ch 4, however i decided to split the chapter into two parts. Hopefully i shall finish and post the second half tomorrow! Until then my lovelies!

Sarutobi sat in his office. Today was a good day for him. The sun rose outside of his window, lighting the majestic city of konoha and signifying the start of a brand new day. Today would be the worst day he had ever had. Seeing Naruto again had reignited a blaze that many thought gone for good. Sarutobi remembered why he had first taken his position, his mind gaining a clarity that years of depression and seeing the village torn apart around him by those it protected had stolen.

This was a mistaken old mans second chance, and it would raise Konoha to never before thought glory, or tear the nation he loved apart.

Speaking of tearing Konoha apart, a certain pale pedophiliac snake was wondering how he could do just that. Of all the hidden villages, Konoha was regarded as the strongest. So removing it would be no easy task. He would need all the allies he could get for the time when his plan came to fruition..

Sure Sunagakure, the village hidden in the sand, was willing to fight beside him. That was great. But the Kazekage was showing signs of uncertainty, he may need to be removed before too long. If that were to happen, the invasion would still go off without a hitch, but Orochimaru would be down one absurdly powerful ally. Everything would rest on the mans son Gaara, and the tailed beast within him. The tailed beasts were powerful, but uncontrollable, and if Shukaku chose to attack both sides it could be disastrous.

Which is why Orochimaru was seeking out old friends who might fight beside him. Hidden deeply beneath an unnamed mountain, in the center of a forest that not even Jonin could safely enter, and guarded by an army of stone soldiers, five kage level shinobi met in secret.

Orochimaru had been a part of this group since they had begun, and their bonds of friendship may just be enough to gather these five to his cause.

They sat in simple chairs around a circular table, each the leader of their own perverted warrior faction. Here Orochimaru pondered his "friends" and thought about what they would desire as payment to help his cause, if indeed they would help his cause.

To his right stood a man, who had once possessed the rich dark brown skin of a man from Kumogakure, the village hidden in the clouds. But through the mastery of a forbidden technique, his skin became a blotchy, disgusting shade of pale white. Even worse, this coloration was mostly on his face, shifting to a pale sand colored skin as it got further and further away from his face. His hair was like greased black ramen noodles, curled and shining. If you had said it looked like crude oil... You'd probably be correct. This man wore a glossy red suit, pale white gloves, and dark black shoes. He and Orochimaru had first met in a fight over the last copy of "Young Uchiha Bodies" magazine. Which Orochimaru had wanted for... Research. And he had wanted because... He was a kid at heart? It was kind of confusing with him.

Speaking of which, the man was currently dancing backwards across their meeting table. From time to time he'd spin and grab his crotch like his goal was to rip it off! All weirdness aside the man was a powerful ally, but one Orochimaru doubted would help him fight.

To the left of the Snake Sannin, was a man who's clan cast ninjutsu through a piece of wood infused with chakra. It was a technique kept solely inside the clan, and allowed the users to fire off rapid jutsu chains. They were unparalleled in the art of ranged combat, although this left their close combat skills with much to desire. Although this man had stepped far beyond his clan techniques, venturing into the forbidden techniques to destroy his enemies at any cost. It was rumored he had even achieved immortality!

Whatever his technique for immortality was, it seemed to require the sacrifice of ones nose and hair. This man was sickly pale, and always wore rich black robes. His followers wore the same getup, but added a silver skull mask covered in intricate engravings. They also all carried a tattoo of a skull, with a long fanged snake crawling out of it.

He and Orochimaru both shared a love of snakes, and the man had even taught Orochimaru a handful of words in the snake language. This man had always loved a good fight, he would definitely fight against konoha.

The final two in their group were old acquaintances, and neither of them were likely to come out and say openly their desires. IT as 50/50 either way whether they'd help or not. But if they did, the dancing man would join in too. He always did love being in the center of positive public opinion. And the mere thought of SEVEN armies all seeing him dance would be too much for his sense of showmanship to resist.

Of the two, one was tall, pasty and wore more gold on his robes than a king. He carried a tall golden staff, which he was more than profient with in combat. Although this man's strength was not on the battlefield, but in his words. He could instill a degree of loyalty in people to the extent that they would murder their own children if he but asked them too. This was no Kekkai Genkai, nor was it a forbidden technique. It was solely his own skill, and one he was a master of. Of the five, he was the weakest, but his followers were by far the most numerous, and they were willing to give their lives if he but snapped his fingers.

The second man had long, effeminate hair, and a face that looked sickly pale. His quiet grey eyes were deep in thought, and he seemed to not even be thinking about the conversation going on around him. He wore a black overcoat, grey vest, white dress shirt, and a black bow tie.

His father had been good friends with the gold wearing man, but his relationship with both his father and the gold man was a strained one at best. He was the youngest man in the group, and also the most fiercely intelligent. A brilliant tactician, and natural thinker, he often had the dull look of a man lost in his own thoughts. This led many to mistakenly assume he was dim-witted, or on a psychotropic substance. Both of which were outlandish lies. His mind was fanciful and confusing, and he fought using complex logical puzzle genjutsu, the type that very few were sharp enough to escape from.

He was an outsider to the group for two reasons, the first being his passion for creation. While the rest wanted to spread their agenda, or burn everything that didn't confirm with their desires, he simply desired to further his mind. He was an avid writer of poetry and fanciful stories, and had recently delved into a new art called "Photography" in which a picture was created without paints, using only light and paper. The second oddity about the man, was that out of every member of the group, he was the only one with an interest in women.

The man in gold spoke to the group, yet addressed Orochimaru solely. "Very well. We have heard your proposal, and we shall think it over. You shall have our answer on the day you attack konoha."

His speech finished, the golden man stood, signifying an end to the discussion. This meeting of the Dark pervert society was at an end. Only time would tell, but Orochimaru smiled, knowing that if even one of these men joined his assault, nobody in Konoha could stop them.

Naruto sighed, and slumped into a couch. Jiji had promised that if Naruto could pass the Genin exams with the highest rank in the classroom, not even the civilian council could stop him from becoming a Ninja. During his years in the south, Naruto had learned things that would probably place him at low-Chunin level. He was powerful, and a skilled fighter, but the southern regions didn't use chakra. As such, even basic chakra manipulation was unknown to the boy. All he had was Taijutsu, and although he didn't know the true name of it, he was an expert in Fuinjutsu. One of his friends in the south had trained him in an unconventional, but powerful, version of the sealing techniques called Lovushke v Rabote. Every seal utilized blocky lettering and a five pointed star shape. The shape's purpose was dictated by the lettering around it, and involved five minor points and one primary one. It was confusing as hell to learn, but very effective when mastered.

That being said, Naruto understood the need to be a well-rounded ninja. Well rounded ninja were best equipped to handle a large variety of situations. In places like Otogakure (Village hidden in the sound) and Iwagakure (Village hidden in the Rocks) they trained their Ninja to be individualized specialists. Then they grouped them into three man squads to minimize their individual weaknesses. It was efficient, and allowed the two nations to field large armies of Ninja. But their individual skills suffered because of that.

The first thing Naruto needed to learn was breaking a Genjutsu, and learning when one has been cast on you. He was a hopeless student in casting Genjutsu, with his absurdly high chakra levels.

Next he needed to learn the three basic academy techniques. The test at the end of the year was split into three parts, Taijutsu, Ninjutsu, and Genjutsu. The Taijutsu test was basic combat in a ranked fight system using only fists and feet. Jutsu were forbidden. The Ninjutsu test took the three basic academy techniques, and if you couldn't perform all three you would fail. The Genjutsu test was a test of your mental processes, in the form of a written test. Out of consideration for Ninja who lacked certain skills, one of your scores could be dropped from the test.

Since Naruto didn't care about learning every intricacy in the village's history, he decided to skip the paper test. The battlefield was the ultimate test, one where learned knowledge was forgotten in an instant and instinct took over. Book smarts would only get you killed.

Naruto had just begun training in the three academy jutsu, when someone knocked on his door. Investigating, Naruto found that it was Ayame, there to get him for their date. As of last night, they were an official couple. The village gossip mill had yet to find out, hell, they hadn't found out Naruto was BACK yet.

As if on cue, a loud yell "WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!" came from the direction of the council headquarters. As the gathered civilians tried to come up with some reason to have the fox demon executed, and Sarutobi tempered his patience and restrained from killing them all.

Ayame giggled, and after snatching Naruto's hand, dragged him around the village to see the sights. They saw a lot on their date. Naruto had been gone for so long, he'd never gotten the opportunity to enjoy the village as others could. When he was here everyone was more preoccupied with kicking the crap out of him, then being kind to him. Funny what being "dead" for eight years could do for your public image. Nobody had yet realized that he was the boy they had abused all those years ago. All they saw was two teenagers out on a date.

Ayame wore a crystal blue sundress, a gift from Sarutobi along with his best wishes. She cut a stunning figure out of her ANBU garb. At 5'3" Ayame was slightly shorter than most girls her age, but it didn't bother her like it did some people. The sundress enhanced her beauty, catching her curves perfectly, the gorgeous piece tailor made as a birthday present for her. Unfortunately the request was caught up in paperwork, so Sarutobi was a few months late in getting it to her. Their was no other dress like it in the land of fire, and Ino, the town gossip, was furious. She felt that a dress like that could help her seduce Sasuke, and since Ayame and the new boy in her class, he must have gotten it from her. She thought his name was Naruro or something like that, after all he wasn't Sasuke so she had no reason to learn his name. The ponytailed blonde slunk off, already plotting to get a dress like that from the mysterious blonde.

Naruto on the other hand, stood an even 5'5". He was tall for his age, and well built, the fighting style he practiced resulting in a toned eight pack. There wasn't a drop of fat on his body. His muscles were sleek and toned, as opposed to the sheer bulk muscle most taijutsu fighters idiotically strove for. As his combat instructor told him when he asked about training for big muscles, "Now boss why would ya do something like that? You ever seen those suckers move? Those big arms and giant legs don't do a thing but slow you down! And once they start a punch, they just can't stop! What the hell good does that do ya? A man who spends all his time training for strength... He's gonna die. Thats all there is too it."

Learning well under his tutelage, Naruto's body was built like a gymnast. A solid core for quick shifts in direction, powerful legs for rapid movement, lunges, and jumps, and the arm strength required to catch oneself, with the dexterity needed to control ones rotation in midair.

Ayame sent several glares towards Kunoichi who couldn't keep their eyes off her Naruto-kun. The sharp eyes of an ANBU informing them that it might be best to check out a different girls boyfriend.

Naruto wore his Ninja gear, having just gotten to the village yesterday he had not gotten the opportunity to purchase more clothes. Although Ayame liked how he looked, when she found out they were the only clothes he had she threw a fit. Dragging him to the nearest clothing store, she bought him several outfits before relenting and letting Naruto pick out his own clothes. Although Naruto was now a very wealthy individual, neither of them knew it yet. So Naruto promised to pay her back someday, and they took the clothes back to his place.

And so ended Naruto and Ayame's first date. With a heated and passionate kiss, Ayame walked out of Naruto's apartment, sending him a playful wink as she left.

She had had a crush on Naruto for a long time, and was ready to explore love further with the man of her dreams. But self doubt had wriggled into her thoughts, she feared that he might reject her, if she moved to fast. Or worse, that he might think she was a slut who did this with any guy. Ayame wanted Naruto to be her first and only, but she had no idea how to express this to him.

Naruto was leaning against the door of his apartment, wondering the same thing. Should he try and go further with Ayame? He felt like she wanted him too... And Naruto had always been a talented judge of character. But what if he was wrong? What if he screwed up everything by moving too quickly? All they'd done was kiss, not even a little light petting. Not even a grope.

Somewhere in the Ninja world, a certain white haired toad sage could sense a young couple in dire need of his books.