First things first, i'm sending out a thanks to all of the wonderful people who encourage me to keep writing this story! I've loved the reviews i received, many of them have given me ideas and/or smoothed out my story process.

Secondly, i'd like to say that to you people who send a review solely for the purpose of telling me my story sucks... Please tell me why it sucks. I'd like to improve my writing skills, and if you dislike the plot tell me why. Because if you're just telling me it sucks for no reason, you're just being an asshole. And to you assholes... Go fuck yourself, preferably with a traffic cone.

Lastly, i feel the need to mention two special reviewers who are always a pleasure to hear from. To Skeek622, and Kunoichi of the Moonlit Night, an extra special thanks! You two are awesome.

NOW! On to the riveting fourth chapter of Naruto the Conqueror.

2 Years Ago

"I just want to know one thing Boss. Why? Why would you ever return to THEM after all they've done to you?"

"Takamashi, Is It so difficult to understand? My precious people live over there..." Naruto's grin darkened maliciously, "More importantly, they forced me from my own home. They think they've beaten me. I refuse to let that stand. I will return someday, and the land that rejected me shall bathe in blood."

"Ah. I like the way you think Boss."

Present Day

The leaf village was in chaos. Most of the police force was drugged, and the rest were either missing or confirmed dead. A few dozen high-ranking civilians had been abducted in the night, taken from their homes by the most gaudily dressed Ninja since Naruto. Merchant shops and houses had been destroyed, seemingly at random. Some were owned by the rich, and others by the poor. Even the WAY they'd been destroyed was odd. The entire area was warped, bending and reshaping into massive spikes. Sarutobi was known as "The Professor" for his advanced knowledge on jutsu, but even he had never heard of something like this. A prison break had occurred that same night, with no leads as to who had done it, aside from the guards statement that, "He was a really smelly, dirty guy who talked in a heavy accent." Fortunately the prisoners released were all low-ranking, with very few being even A-ranked. The final numbers were 36 C-rank, 19 B-rank, and 2 A-rank. None were particularly dangerous, mostly foreign spies who had bad luck, and who's info would be drastically outdated. As such, no great effort was being expended to hunt them down. Finally, a handful of graves had been robbed. When Sarutobi first read this report, he almost choked on his morning coffee, fearing that someone was preparing an Edo Tensei. But none of the burgled bodies were even leniently considered "Powerful" and many were civilian-born Ninja of no real importance. The kind of Ninja that never grew up to realize how dangerous their job was, and died shortly after leaving the village. It was sad, but it happened.

Every bit of this screamed "Orochimaru" The convoluted, obscure plans, the odd targets that made no real sense, even the prison break for foreign shinobi. All it was missing was a perverted cackle.

Deep in thought, Sarutobi was puzzling out these odd events when Naruto burst into his office, "Hey Jiji! I got a favor to ask."

"Naruto, at least knock before entering." The elderly Hokage sighed in exasperation. "Alright boy, what's the favor?"

"Weeeeell, i never got to finish talking to you last night, and i was wondering if you could make me a Ninja of the village and give me a clan." Once again Sarutobi almost choked on his coffee.

"WHAT? Naruto, with how long you've been gone... I know you defeated Izumo and Kotetsu last night, and i admit your skill with wind chakra is impressive, but you need more than that to gain clan status. Although..." Remembering the boy's considerable wind manipulation skill, and the fact that he had yet to tell the boy about Ninja requirements, he decided to give him a chance. Scribbling on the back of a rejected bill, the Hokage stamped it "Approved" and handed it to Naruto.

"Here Naruto, with this you will be able to participate in the Genin exams. They should be happening in a month. If you pass, you'll become a Genin and be placed on a team with two others under the supervision of a Jonin. No individual under the rank of Jonin may hold clan head status. So once you finish the Chunin exams and Jonin exams, I'll be more than happy to grant you clan status."

A delighted Naruto rushed from the room, heading off to train. Sarutobi smiled, hoping that he could reveal Naruto's true heritage soon. That boy deserved some fortune in life. If he took after his father... No, Sarutobi refused to think like that. Naruto would be fine, and the curse his father suffered from would stay gone. Sitting back in his seat, the Hokage enjoyed his coffee, free of interruptions as he pondered the future.

Over the course of one month, Naruto attended class at the Shinobi academy. From the first day he learned two important things. The first being that most of the so called "education" was utter garbage. Seriously, you're preparing children to face life or death situations, and somehow teaching about history for half the day was important?! Insanity. Second, was that every single person in the class suffered from a serious mental problem. Honestly, why would anyone bother to instruct these fools? Looking over the class, you could count the students who wouldn't one day snap and murder somebody on one hand. Of course, the somebody in question would be an unfortunate ally.

Looking over the class, Naruto counted off the "Problem students" as anyone with half a brain would put it.

Let's see; Fangirl, irrelevant background character, boy who i'm beginning to think is a werewolf, boy who never talks and wears a serial killer coat/shades combo, fangirl, another irrelevant person, i think that guys a fanboy, super quiet creepy girl with pale eyes who keeps watching me when she thinks i'm not looking, fangirl of the pink-haired shrieking banshee type, suuuuper lazy guy who even snores the word "troublesome", pudgy friend of the "troublesome" guy, some emo-looking kid who appears to own more hair care products than ALL his fangirls, about a dozen other's who have no skill whatsoever... Damn, those people are more likely to hit THEMSELVES with anything than an opponent! His scathing analysis finished, Naruto did the only thing he could.

Pray that he was teamed up with the fat kid and the slacker. Those two were the only ones he could be sure wouldn't end up killing him, or getting him killed.

The teacher interrupted Naruto's frantic prayers to announce the paper test portion of the Genin exam. It was a disturbingly stupid test, whoever thought book knowledge mattered in a fight had obviously never been in one. Naruto didn't even bother answering a single question.

The second test was on the three basic jutsu, which were surprisingly useful and surprisingly never used by senior ninja. Heh, maybe if Izumo and Kotetsu had made some illusionary clones before fighting they would have won. When his turn arrived, Naruto used the Body Flicker Technique, replacing himself with Iruka's headband, with Naruto appearing on top of the scarred Chunin's head. For the Transformation, he created a perfect copy of werewolf-boy's dog Akamaru. Finally Naruto reached his problem area... The Clone technique. When Naruto first started practicing, his clones always came out oddly formed or sickly looking. With a few pointers from his odd-smelling friend Yotoma, Naruto realized he was using massive amounts of chakra in forming the clones. But try as he might, he couldn't utilize such a miniscule amount of chakra with his massive reserves. Once again Yotoma had stepped in and helped, adding odd shaped characters to Naruto's fingers to forcibly limit the chakra pushed through Tenketsu. Each shape was on a fingertip, and was a pentagram with oddly blocky letters forming circular borders around them.

"Clone Technique." Naruto called out, pushing chakra through the seals. With a POOF the room filled with smoke, and almost a hundred illusion Naruto's filled the room.

"So what's next?" A hundred perfectly replicated Naruto's replied.

For the final parts of the practical exam, the students had to demonstrate weapons throwing proficiency, then participate in a spar. Naruto easily achieved top marks in throwing, as the ability to use wind chakra made missing almost impossible.

In the spar, the civilian born shinobi were swiftly and easily decimated by the basically insane clan shinobi. The one exception being the lazy guy. Other than him, the clan families were actually pretty impressive. Aside from the blonde bimbo. The lazy guy was pathetic, but Naruto had seen people like him in the southlands. People who lounged about because they expended their energy rapidly in combat, whether through speed, strength, or sheer thinking power. The lazy guy, Naruto could respect for that. After all, Ninja are SUPPOSED to hide their true capabilities! Not flaunt them for all to see like a certain hair-gel enthusiast emo. The girls name was Ino, and she was a big time fangirl for emo boy. Even coming from a clan, she had no real skill in anything at all. Disgraceful.

As fate would have it, Naruto ended up facing her in the next match. Being the bimbo she was, she shouted about "True love" or some such nonsense, and how she was going to beat him. Or something along those lines, Naruto droned out after her first three words. No use killing his brain trying to process anything out of that mouth.

The match ended in .762 seconds. An academy record. Naruto had a relaxed combat stance, with chakra steadily building in his feet before the match began. Thanks to some lessons with Takamashi, the sadistic camo wearing nut, Naruto was more than proficient in utilizing his lower body in combat. As a Ninja, this represented a huge advantage. Instead of punching he simply kicked and spun, freeing his hands to cast jutsu while fighting. But against Ino he didn't even need jutsu. The instructors announced the match begin, and Naruto vanished. Appearing in front of his airheaded opponent, he spun, kicking her feet out from under her. Before she could hit the ground, he stomped firmly on her abdomen, knocking the wind from her, and knocking her out in one fell swoop.

Sasuke smiled, and licked his lips. This boy was definitely powerful! If he could beat him, he would be one step closer to killing his brother.

Naruto was creeped the fuck out, he could feel hair-gel boy eyeballing him, and when the boy licked his lips Naruto could sense it. Needless to say it scared him. WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUCK, he has ten thousand fangirls and judging by that look on his face he's coming on to me! Why life, WHY?

Fortunately for Naruto, Sasuke was his final opponent. Sasuke had a big speech prepared about his victory, the superiority of the Uchiha clan, his brother, his life, his dreams, his aspirations, his bathing habits, his dietary beliefs, and many many many other expositionary things that Sasuke (Being a self-obsessed douche) flt everyone should know about him. Fortunately for all involved, Naruto interrupted him, "YO! Stop eyeballing me! I don't swing that way!" Comprehension escaped Sasuke for a moment, before he realized what Naruto meant, and rushed forward to show him who was the elite Ninja!

It was shown, very quickly, that Sasuke had no chance. Naruto blocked every punch, every kick, every move, using only his feet. The entire time his arms were folded across his chest. The fangirls waited with baited breath, as Sasuke became infuriated that Naruto was only toying with him. Breaking combat rules, he performed three handsigns, and shouted "Fire Release: Great Fireball". Leaning back, he held a folded finger in front of his mouth and readied his most destructive attack, completely oblivious to all the students who were in it's path.

Naruto was infuriated, not only that he would break combat rules, but that he would put innocent lives at risk just to feed his ego. Dashing forward with chakra enhanced steps, Naruto reached Sasuke just as he curled his lips to blow the fireball. Spinning, he sent a chakra enhanced foot smashing into Sasuke's jaw, shattering the jaw, cracking teeth, and trapping a VERY dangerous fire technique within it's casters mouth. The fire came, and blazed forth through sealed lips, scorching Sasuke's oral cavity. The fire's would have probably killed the boy, but Naruto was trying to make a good impression on the village. Rushing through hand seals, he cast the same basic technique he'd cast to show Sarutobi what he knew. "WIND RELEASE: GALE CONTORTION!" manipulating the fire chakra in the boys mouth the same way he'd manipulated that origami paper in Jiji's office the night he'd arrived, Naruto used wind to funnel it out of his mouth and into the air. Releasing the fire, he sighed as it fell apart in the air.

Immediately, Naruto stepped to the side, so that the instructors could treat the boy who burned himself. The fangirl brigade glared at the boy who harmed their hero, although all of the REAL shinobi were aware of the fact that Naruto had saved them from Sasuke's attack. Among these were Ino, Kiba, and shino.

Shino was impressed that the boy would go to such lengths to protect classmates. His bugs would have protected him of course, and he may have been able to dodge the attack in time, but his respect for the boy grew.

Kiba stared in shock at the classmate who had tried to use such a destructive move in a training environment. His clan was a clan that held loyalty above all else, and seeing someone go out of their way to protect the few who couldn't protect themselves marked him as one to keep a close eye on in the future.

Ino was... Confused. She knew full well that she couldn't have dodged that attack. She also knew that if it had hit her, it would have killed her. After the ease with which Naruto not only defeated her crush, but saved his life with some weird wind jutsu, Ino began to wonder if she had hooked her love to the wrong individual...

As Mizuki rushed off with Sasuke's unconscious body, Iruka gave the class their headbands. "Now class, you've passed, but tomorrow you will be assigned a Jonin-sensei, who will decide whether or not you deserve to become Genin. Meet back here at 12 sharp! Class dismissed." Then he body flickered away to check on his injured student.