Seeing Black- Chapter 4
I woke up and stared at the clock… 8:15 it read… it was a Monday but spring break so I got up and went to get changed. I took a shower and changed into black high waisted shorts, and red bustier, with a black leather jacket, I put my hair into a really messy top knot, and minimal amount of make-up. When I was done it was only 8:45 and I wasn't hungry, nor in the mood to get hurt by jack again. So I grabbed my acoustic guitar from the corner and went out onto the balcony, and took a seat.
Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'll be the one, if you want me to
Anywhere I would've followed you
Say something, I'm giving up on you
And I am feeling so small
It was over my head
I know nothing at all
And I will stumble and fall
I'm still learning to love
Just starting to crawl
Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
Anywhere I would've followed you
Say something, I'm giving up on you
And I will swallow my pride
You're the one that I love
And I'm saying goodbye
Say something, I'm giving up on you
And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
And anywhere I would've followed you (Oh-oh-oh-oh)
Say something, I'm giving up on you
Say something, I'm giving up on you
Say something...
I sang, one of my own original songs ((not really but I don't own that song)) I had started writing a new one, titled 'end up here' ((I do not own end up here))
Boy I was watching you move
Sorta checking you out
Loving what you do boy we oughta paint the town
You can watch me get to it double roll and lean
Make up your mind if you're liking what you see
Don't' want no flowers, don't buy me no gifts
I need somebody who can take care of this
I'm loving what you do cause I know you do it well
You got your game tight real smart I can tell
[Chorus:]
Please don't play that usual game
The type to put out your flame
I-I-I, I dont want to shed a tear
I-I-I, I didn't want to end up here
Could you gimme that dust
That you throw right 'round
Give me that stuff make you wanna get down
I-I-I-I didn't wanna end up here
That's my song that's not finished… I was going to start writing more, until I heard clapping behind me, I turned around to see maddie and kenzie, I laughed and smiled, and so did they… I tapped the chairs next to me, and they took the and hint and came to sit. "hey girls. What's up?" I asked them, "well, nothing really, I think the real question is, what's up with you? What's with the, not to mention beautiful, sad songs?" maddie asked me, I shrugged, "I… don't know, just thinking, I guess" I said, with a long sigh at the end, "could all this 'thinking' be about a certain brunette boy…" maddie nudged me, as kenzie winked, and I laughed, but turned back to a straight face quickly. "yes. But I don't think I'm thinking about the same boy you are" I said quietly, and they both looked at me questioningly, "you know what?" I smiled, "just forget it, we'll talk about it some other time." I finished, smiling again as they both did the same, smiling. "so, what sports do you girls do?' I ask them, "well, we both dance and do karate, our entire family does karate, you know, for self defense.." kenzie says smiling, "oh, really?" I say excitedly, " I dance and do karate too, I used to do gymnastics also, before we moved here, so needless to say I'm a bit of an acrobat too" I say smiling, "what are your favorite dance styles? Mine are lyrics, hip-hop, and acro" I smile "mine are lyrical mainly, and tap" maddie says, "mine are acro, jazz, and lyrical" kenzie says, and we all smile, "what belt are you Kim, In karate.." kenzie asks me "I'm a second degree black belt, what are all of you? Like the entire family." I ask, "well, I'm also a second degree black belt, kenzie is a brown belt, trying for her black belt in 2 weeks, brett is 4th degree, harry is 3rd degree, the twins are green belts, and jack is a 5th degree" maddie listed, "damn, so no wondeer, his dad says he's strongest, he's better than his oldest brother?" I ask, as they both nod. "well anyway, I guess we'll continue this later, but for right now, what do you girls say for a dance?" I asked standing up out of my chair, as maddie and kenz did the same… (( watch?v=PTn8LZ5tE9E if you want to see it… its just an improv, but add a 3rd person in your mind, and that'd be it)) "hey, I'm going to go get something to drink" kenzie said, "I'll be back in a bit" she finished, exiting the room, as me and maddie made our way back out onto the porch, and sat down, breathing a bit heavily. After she caught her breath, "so, care to explain why you were thinking about jack earlier…" maddie asked, raising her eye brows at me, as I turned away… 'I don't know.. I mean I cant help but feel that I really, really like him. Like even through the scars, I still feel the electricity when he puts his hands on me" I reply, quietly. "wait, back up." she says, me turning to face her, "I cant help but like him?" I ask, "no… too far… what do you mean, scars? Or when he puts his hands on you?" she asks worriedly… I guess she knows what jacks capable of, so I pull my jacket off, and you can see most of my back, which has purple and black bruises, scratches and scars on it… I feel her slide her hand across it lightly, she starts to say something but I cut her off, because I didn't feel like hearing it, not right now… "so, what's his deal anyway? Why does he have this cold hard shell around him?" I ask, "well…
Maddie's pov- flash back
I was sitting on the couch, when I heard the door slam, I turned around and saw jack, tears streaming down his face, I get up and try to go after him, "jack… jack, what's wrong!" I yell after him, "I'm done, I'M FUCKING DONE TRYING TO LOVE OR PROTECT ANYONE! I NEVER ASKED FOR ANY OF THIS!" he screams at me, running to his room, I give it a few minutes before I go after him, I knock on the door and try to go in when I realize its locked, this is how I learned how to unlock doors, I walk in and see lying on his bed, blaring music, I tap his leg, he opens his eyes, and takes his headphones off sitting up, "what's wrong Jackie?" I ask, probably giving him my sad glossy eyes, I do to my dad when I want something, "look madz, (his nickname for me) I'm sorry for yelling at you" he says sadly, crushing me in a hug, we were the only ones in the family who had this bond. "what happened?" I asked again, pulling away from the hug. "they killed her madz… they killed Ali." he said, tears threatening to fall again. "it's all my fault madz, I shouldn't have brought her into this." he sobbed. "Jackie, it's not your fault. Your only 14, what could you do." I say, straitening his face to look at me. "I could've-" he started but I stopped, "done nothing. You couldn't do anything to stop it so would you please stop blaming yourself. Please Jackie, I cant see you like this anymore. You're the strong one" I say now crying, I really loved Ali. He tore his eyes from mine, "no madz, you cant cry and have your way with me this time. I'm never loving anyone again. Ever." his voice getting loud again, "I'm only protecting you, kenz and the twins from now on. The rest could-" "jack don't say it." I warned him, but he did anyway, "the rest could die for all I care. You kenz and the twins are the only ones I'll ever love and protect again, and I promise, I'll keep you girls safe." he says, coming back over to me again, pulling me up to another hug, kissing my cheek.
Kim's POV- present time
Maddie finished her story. "so Kim, that's my story, what's yours?" she asked me, finally looking at me. "I think, that's another story, for another time." I say. "ok… well, I think you should go tell my parents about what jacks been doing to you (yes, I told her) how the hell is he supposed to be your protector when all he does is hurt." she asks, but before I could answer we heard another voice, "Kim. A word please" maddie and I turn around to see jack, his face looked upset, but more anger than anything. I stand up.
This should be fun