Ch. 15 Opening

A few days later, Savannah was stable and back home. Things had somehow fallen back into a sense of normalcy...for them. Eliot walked into the bedroom to see her painting her nails. It was one of the habits she attached herself to after the Academy went down. It was one of the activities she missed out on, so she did it once a job was over, and removed the polish once a new one started, a new color each time. At first, he couldn't stand the smell, but she was always so content. She was getting really good, too, creating tiny works of art on her nails. Because of it, the previous Christmas, they'd gotten her an expansive collection of acrylic paints and canvases to make larger works of art.

"Hey." She looked over, bright-eyed and more herself, the Savannah he knew, than he'd seen her in weeks.

"Hey. How ya doin'?"

"Good." Her tone sounded genuine, but he saw her unconsciously reach for her side. Everything went fine except she now had a pretty gnarly scar over her ribs. She'd say she didn't mind, but he could see the hate in her eyes when she thought about it.

Eliot's mind swam with thoughts to avoid bringing up the questions he wanted to ask until the opportunity really arose. He sighed heavily. "What's the weather like tonight, do you know?" she asked out of the blue. He just stuttered and shrugged. "Let's go to the roof." He nodded. She grabbed a hoodie, took his hand and pulled him along. When they got to the roof, she sat down quietly and pulled her knees to her chest. He sat next to her, and they sat in silence for several minutes.

"I've never been with a man before," she finally.

Eliot felt a sensation of both tension and relief as the conversation he'd been waiting for began. "I know."

"At all. Never kissed one, never even had a boyfriend."

"I know."

"I don't know...if I'm ready to breach any of those firsts."

He put his hand over hers. "I know."

She leaned into him. "Things are over between Dani and I." Eliot started to repeat himself again, but it wouldn't come out. "Things were over a long time ago," she pressed He stayed silent. "We lacked closure for a while, but it's not an issue anymore. She doesn't hate me, and I don't feel like a jerk...in respect to her."

"You're not a jerk."

"That thing with Parker wasn't meant to hurt you. It's just that my feelings for you were really confusing for me. I thought girls were my thing. I'd never even had a male celebrity crush. And Parker was struggling with this whole intimacy thing. No one had touched me since Dani and it'd been over ten years."

He gave her hand a squeeze and leaned into her. "I get it. I'm not mad. I had no right to be."

"Yes, you-"

"No. You didn't do anything to me. We both could've told each other about our past relationships; we both could've stepped up and said we felt something. We didn't. You don't owe me anything." Then he hesitated. "I mean, you feel something, right." She nodded and returned the favor of staying quiet. "I don't know what all Sophie told you. Aimee was a girl I grew up with, and we were engaged. Long story short, work got in the way, and she married someone else. That's when I became the notorious ladies' man. About eight years ago, she was part of a job we were doing. Her husband had walked out on her, and like you and Dani, we lacked closure. During that job was when we got it. She and I both knew she couldn't stand to be with a guy who worked the way I did, and I was going to retire any time soon. So that was that. And we were both okay with it." She smiled. There were more questions, but the most pressing ones were done. She pulled one of his arms around her. He perched his chin on top of her head. "I know you're not ready. But I like knowing that there's something to look forward to."

The next day, they were in the gym together, the first time in weeks. It felt good. Savannah seemed to have this addiction to working out. When he first noticed it, Eliot was concerned, but oddly Parker had an explanation when he made mention of it. "She had to keep moving for years. Habits like that don't die; you just make them into something else. We were criminals who started using our skills for good. Savannah was already, so she channels the energy into working out."

Today seemed a little rough for her though. When they were sparring, she was slipping up, leaving her left side open because she was so focused guarding her right, the injured side. She was avoiding working on her core, leaning wrong when she used the machines. He noticed she had even been sleeping differently as well. She slept on her back the same, but instead of the left arm on him to make sure he was there, it was gripping her injured side.

He watched as she sat on the floor, taking the obligatory fifteen minute break. She wasn't paying attention to him. She lifted her shirt and just stared at the wound for several minutes. He saw her eyes get glassy. "Is the pain getting worse?" He knew it wasn't, but he was trying to ease the truth out of her. She just shook her head. She sighed, and it looked like she kept trying to say something.

He pulled himself off the hyperextension bench. It was a thought he'd seen rolling around in her mind since they were in the med lab. "You want to finish the treatments."

She looked up at him, brow furrowed in shame. She gave a short nod. "It's ridiculous."

"No, it's not." He sat down next to her.

She shook her head emphatically. Her voice cracked as she spoke. "Why would I want to go through all that?"

He looked her in the eye. "Because you could've died. And going through the rest of the treatments could make you stronger, so that you don't have to go through that again."

She pulled her knees up to her chest. "So you're telling me I should do it?"

He shook his head. "I'm not telling you you should do anything."

She started rocking back and forth. "So you don't want me to do it?"

"I'm not telling you to do or not do anything."

She nudged him with her shoulder. "I'm asking your opinion Eliot. I'm here because I don't want to make these decisions by myself."

"My opinion is that I want you to do what makes you happy. There's good and bad in both decisions."

"I should talk to Dani. She kept saying I was a special case. I know it's possible to finish, but there's probably going to be different side effects."

He nodded and patted her shoulder affirmingly. "That's a good idea."

She let her leg relax. "What's with all the 'whatever you pick' stuff with you lately? Is this some weird guilt side effect because you think the accident was your fault?"

"No, that was your clumsiness and obsession with blowing things up," he joked. He surprisingly didn't feel guilty anymore, not the all-consuming guilt. Savannah had survived, and it really could've happened to anyone.

"So what is it?" she pushed.

"Because I wish I had someone to tell me it was my decision and that they supported me."

"The decision affects you, this team."

"Does it really? I mean, you don't do it, nothing changes. You go through it, you're what, physically stronger, maybe even mentally. Maybe there's a transition period, but we've had plenty of transition periods. People made decisions that drastically changed this team. This, compared to those, is not a big deal for this team, just you."