Pinky, Voltron & the Brain

A Crossover Literary Work of Shameless Fandom

By KittyLynne and The Bandit

Chapter 7

"What a waste of time and materials!" Witch Hagar lamented to her cat. "An exercise in futility! The workings of this vermin's mind remain a complete mystery to me, even though he can actually speak!"

She had spent the past hour acting as a pseudo-confidant to a mouse high on Anthraxian penathol. Alas, instead of vital information or even juicy tidbits of gossip, the mouse's ingestion of the costly potion had induced nothing but a speedy judgment on her part that somewhere a mouse village was missing its idiot.

Pinky snored and drooled on the tiny gurney to which she had strapped him. An occasional toot punctuated his snores, an unfortunate side effect of the potion that had been administered to him by his captress.

"He cares deeply for the Princess, but why is he constantly babbling about someone called 'The Brain'? There's no one residing in the castle that bears that title...unless it could be a reference to the brat that flies Green Lion."

Hagar circled the gurney and continued to mutter, half-aloud. "He doesn't know anything about the innards of Voltron, the Castle's defenses, or even the other mice that I don't already know. Perhaps he's a recent arrival and new to palace living? But how could he have gotten to Allura so quickly? He's a strange one- a laboratory experiment gone awry, or a discard of some kind; or more likely, he had the good fortune to be discovered and have those do-gooders rescue him from a castle exterminator."

The old witch scooped her cat into her arms, scratched behind the animal's ears with talon- like fingers, and then smoothed down the wiry blue fur; the feline's yellow orbs narrowed in pleasure at his mistress' deft touch. "Well, it appears our little captive's luck just ran out. Coba, my pet, you look hungry, would you like this tender morsel as a reward for your trouble in bringing him here?"

The cat purred his assent. The witch cackled dryly, and deposited her salivating familiar on the table next to the slumbering mouse. "He's all yours, pussycat. Bon appetit!"

Coba's fangs, so like his owner's, gleamed wickedly in the laboratory's dim light as he anticipated sinking his teeth into a rare treat: mouse sushi.

"Hagar! I must speak with you at once!"

For a moment, the imperious tone of the man entering her domain froze the sorceress and her pet in place. Then the witch sniffed with disdain, taking hold of her cat once more. It was prudent to hold on to Coba for the time being, or she'd end up throwing something at the arrogant donkey's patoot. How dare he come in here unannounced and uninvited, disturbing her private time!

The cruel looking but handsome son of King Zarkon strode toward her, dressed as usual in full battle regalia, the trademark bat-winged helmet firmly in place to hide the open secret of his receding hairline; the rest of the Prince's still luxuriant, snow-white hair trailed down his broad back and rippled in the breeze created by the movement of his hulking physique. His ochre eyes gleamed menacingly as they skewered the witch; Lotor's cheeks were darker than their customary light blue, and his sensually full upper lip was folded behind his lower one, both definite signs that the Crown Prince was not pleased.

He stopped in front of the sorceress, purposely towering over her hunched form in an attempt to intimidate her with his mass at least as much as she intimidated him with her dark magic.

Hagar confidently stood her ground. Shifting the kitty to her left arm, she casually reached for her magic staff-just in case he needed a reminder to respect his evil elder. Outwardly she smiled at Lotor, as if it pleased her to see him. "Prince Lotor, whatever brings you here today?"

Meh, as if she couldn't guess! Lotor had a virtual sonar system in his leggings when it came to finding out anything about that Arusian trollop!

"I heard from one of the drones that you have one of Princess Allura's prized pets in your claws, old woman. Why did you not notify me at once? You know I take a special interest in anything-" The Prince stopped his chastising of the hag to stare at the reclining rodent in front of them. "Yurack's balls, what sort of mutation is that? Hagar, have you been experimenting on the thing already? And without my consent?"

"Calm yourself my Prince, this is the creature's natural state." The witch informed him soothingly. "I discovered that he can talk, so I merely sent him into a state where I could ask him questions." She hesitated, then said in a very careful, very neutral tone, "it is unfortunate that despite his verbal ability, I have deduced that he is a complete simpleton. He holds no value to us, save that of a snack for Coba."

Annoyingly but not surprisingly, Lotor disagreed. "Not so, old witch! If he belongs to the Princess, then he is of great value, whether he knows anything about Voltron or not!"

Hagar scowled. "Sire, I really don't think-"

"Oh look, he's coming around." Lotor interrupted.

Pinky's eyelids fluttered and opened. He stared blearily at the ice blue features of the man standing over him, and as the identity of the visage registered, he sat up abruptly and squeaked. "LOTOR! NARF!"

The cruel looking man cut him off, confirming Pinky's worst fear. "I am indeed Crown Prince Lotor of Doom, and you are a prisoner of war! Do you understand?"

Pinky shrugged helplessly, his oversized eyes wide with fright.

"Do not attempt this foolish deception, we know you can speak the Common tongue, you did so with Hagar already." Lotor snarled, then smiled. "Come now, this doesn't have to be an unpleasant exercise. If you tell us what you know of the Princess Allura of Arus, I will release you, unharmed. If not, you will regret it for the rest of your short life. I am sure a lowly survivor of the gutter like yourself will know what to do to save his own skin."

"You're in love with the Princess!" Pinky blurted, totally throwing his interrogator off his game of intimidation. Lotor gaped, then quickly looked away, but not before the mouse had seen the Prince's blue skin darken to a deep violet shade, and his tormented expression.

"You are mistaken. She is merely a prize, and I want to add her beauty to my harem."

"Poit! Maybe that was what you wanted at first, but it's a lot more than that now." Pinky informed him seriously. "She's your dream girl, and you will stop at nothing to get her. You even saved her life a couple of times. Egad! You defied your father the King and turned down a marriage to another Princess because you love Allura and you want to marry her!"

The Prince's eyes opened wide. "This just happened this very day! How could your Arusian spies have known?"

"They don't." Pinky said. "I saw it myself."

Lotor was shocked. "You were on Arus! How could you possibly have-" He blinked, took a closer look at the mouse. Given how different this creature looked, it was possible that supernatural forces were in play. "Are you some sort of a seer?"

"Yes." Pinky nodded solemnly. "I saw it on my telly."

"What! Why didn't you tell me about that?" Hagar complained.

"Most probably because you didn't ask." Pinky said. "Poit."

"Does this telly tell you everything?" Lotor asked, after snickering at Hagar's chagrin.

Pinky nodded. "Pretty much. The rest I fill in with my imagination."

The Prince leaned forward. "So tell me, does Allura have feelings for me? Any at all? Does she talk about me? I would do anything for her, you know, I would lay my empire at her feet..."

Hagar shook her head. ~Of course. Instead of trying to extract useful info, we're getting another 'what about Allura, what about me, what can I do, I must have the Princess for my own' monologue. ~

As Lotor recited the litany of his unrequited love and delusional plans for marital bliss, the Prince's words became a faint 'wah-wah' sound in the background as the witch privately reflected the irony of the situation. Like the fact that if she still had use of white magic, she could've brought peace to the galaxy...or at the very least, whipped up a simple love potion for the besotted Prince and the object of his affections and give them a happily ever after ending. Not having to deal with Lotor's silly obsession was the single best incentive she ever had for considering letting her 'good self' out again.

Trouble was, the good side might decide to take control, and so she had never dared chance it.

Still, she was beginning to think it might be worth the risk as time went on. Lotor's speeches were mind-numbingly maudlin, and his obsession with impressing the Arusian blondie was keeping him off the throne... the old witch grudgingly tuned in to the scene before her and shook her head once again in disbelief as Lotor finished his passionate discourse- "And that's why Allura should be with me. And she will be mine, make no mistake about that!"

The Prince was unfazed by the embarrassing fact that he'd been rambling to a little white mouse. That the Royal Idiot wasn't discriminating about the manner of confessing his love for Arus' monarch was painfully clear; at this rate, he might just as well broadcast his weakness in all its variations on every viewscreen across the galaxy.

For his part, Pinky blinked at Lotor, amazed at finding someone who was an even bigger windbag than The Brain and even more obsessed over making far fetched plans that Pinky was sure wouldn't get him what he really wanted.

"So what say you, rodent? Tell me the truth about her feelings!" As Pinky looked anxious, Lotor added quickly, "It's inconceivable that she cares for that bombastic, mullet headed, white boot wearing, baby-faced commoner Captain Keith..." The Prince spat out his enemy's name like an epithet, and his hand rested on a sheathed dagger at his waist as he stared at his tiny prisoner. "I want to know how she feels about me! And I will know if you lie!"

The implied threat was more than obvious, even to Pinky, who gulped and grabbed his tail, twisting it between trembling paws. ~Egads, this must be how those three poor blind chaps felt just before the farmer's wife chopped off their wee bitty tails!~

So what to do? Lotor didn't want to hear a lie, but bad news could be equally fatal. But what could he say in this situation that wasn't bad and wouldn't be an obvious lie? The evil prince was capable of love- that was Lotor's one and only redeeming...well, if not redeeming, his one honest quality.

Princess Allura hated what Lotor was. She loathed him. But he was on her mind a lot...

Pinky decided he'd try to be honest without giving specifics.

"She talks and thinks about you quite a lot. She does have very strong feelings about you, Mr. Prince, Zort! Very, very strong."

The Prince's yellow eyes gleamed. "But not love. And I accept that. It's a fine line one walks between hate and love! If there's not love, I will settle for her abhorrence, for it is better to have earned that, rather than her indifference. She thinks of me, and she feels something! That means I matter!"

"Very true," Pinky said, not sure if Lotor was to be admired or pitied. "Insightful, you are."

"I prefer to be thought of as philosophic, it vexes my father." Lotor admitted with a smirk, while tapping his helmet with a forefinger. "And just think, rodent, there's even deeper stuff where that came from. Isn't that right, Hagar?"

~ How deep can you pile bat guano?~ Hagar thought with a silent cackle. "Indeed, Your Highness. You are a man of depth."

The Prince's expression turned reflective. "Perhaps if Allura knew about my intellectual side, she'd be more agreeable to our merger. If I show her I'm not just a handsome face, she may grow to appreciate me after marriage. Do you see this in my future, small one?"

Forgetting all about the dagger, and exactly who and what he was dealing with, Pinky said, "Well no, that won't happen, you know, because she's good and you are a bad man... and even when you try to turn good, it still won't work because you only do it to get her, and she loves another and feels that if you love her, you would be good for goodness' sake and wouldn't trick her or force her to-"

"Enough!" Lotor thundered. "Your prattle gives me a headache, although I am sure the Princess was unaccountably amused by it. Which means I now plan to see what Allura will sacrifice to get her pet back in one piece!"

"Petty blackmail? " Hagar grinned, her fangs glinting a brilliant white against her shadowed, leathery face. "Sounds like fun. May I accompany you to Arus to return Allura's lost pet, my Prince?"

"Why certainly, Old Witch! But first, you will do a small favor for me..."

The Prince leaned over and whispered into Hagar's ear- assuming she had one, no one on Doom knew for sure because a hood always covered her head. Witch Hagar's arm dropped in astonishment at what he said, and Coba fell to the ground with a startled mew. Tail twitching, he hissed and glared balefully at the Prince, who ignored the unhappy cat.

"Him? You can't be serious! He's too stupid, and flighty, and... well..." The crone shook her head and waved her index finger in a rapid, clockwise circle beside her head.

"I'm always serious! And as you well know, we have no others available to us at present!" Lotor barked. "Furthermore, using him will be a final, demoralizing blow to the rest of those insufferable Lion twerps! I command you to do my bidding, Hagar..." he paused to unsheath his sword, "...unless you'd like to take the rodent's place?"

"All right, all right, all right." The witch snapped. "Don't get your jock in a knot! I'll do it."

The Prince chuckled fiercely. "A wise decision."

As Pinky gaped at them with a fearful expression, Lotor's evil chuckle soon grew to a maniacal laugh, which bounced around the chamber. He glared at Hagar, who quickly joined in out of politeness rather than genuine amusement.

The mouse shuddered at the grating sounds, and covered his sensitive ears. ~I don't like this, not one bit. And Lotor's laugh reminds me of Acme's Dr. X, the one who does all the alien autopsies. Of course Brain said they were fake, but I know better!~

He gulped noisily as Lotor lifted him by the scruff of the neck. "But first, it's time for a chat with the fair Allura. Come, Witch."

They quickly exited the laboratory, leaving behind a disgruntled and hungry Blue Cat.

Back at the Castle of Lions...

"Incoming transmission from Planet Doom!" Coran warned the Voltron Force, Cheddar, and their sole remaining guest.

The Brain cast anxious eyes to the giant monitor, hoping for promising news.

The large view screen flickered and the hateful visage of Prince Lotor materialized.

"Hello Princess," he said smoothly. His eyes greedily drifted over her body. "So lovely. I always find the sight of you quite...stimulating."

Allura reddened in anger and embarrassment. "Lotor-"

Keith interrupted. "Cut the crap, Lotor, what do you want?

"The question is not what, but whom, Captain." The Doom Prince said coldly. "Peruse this- I possess one of the Princess' prized, perky pets."

~Great alliteration~ The Brain thought. ~Bat winged helmet and skull belt buckle. Wonder if he writes goth poetry?~

But idle speculation was forgotten in the instant the terrified features of Pinky filled the screen. The Brain gawked in dismay at the sight of his bound and gagged best friend and then glared in hatred and disgust at the smarmy Prince, an expression mirroring those of the humans around him. Cheddar quickly scooted over to lay a consoling paw on his shoulder.

"Antonio! Oh, are you all right?" Allura cried out.

Pinky smiled sadly and then vanished as Lotor reappeared.

"Antonio? My, such a refined name for such a bizarre creature." He mocked.

"You don't know the meaning of the word refined, you brute!" The Princess raged at him. "You are sinking to a new low, picking on poor defenseless mice! What's next? Pulling the wings off flies?"

"I think in a much larger scale than that, Allura my dear." The evil tyrant laughed. "Here's the deal- I will return, ah, Antonio, unharmed, if you agree to be my wife."

"What?!" Keith yelled, and lunged forward, but Hunk stopped him in his tracks with a restraining hand on his shoulder.

"Chill, Skipper. Losing your temper won't do anyone any good." The big man said calmly.

Silence fell as everyone stared at him in surprise, including Lotor.

"What?" Hunk asked. "Why are you all lookin' at me like that? Do I always have to be the hothead? Can't I be the voice of reason once in a while?"

A murmur of contrite phrases like 'of course you don't' and 'sure you can, nice job, Hunk' was heard until Lotor put a stop to it.

"I'm still waiting for an answer!" He bellowed, making his audience jump.

"Could you repeat the question?" Allura asked politely.

"I just asked you to marry me," Lotor replied, his expression softening. "If you would do me the honor of becoming my bride, Antonio will live in the lap of luxury as a royal pet to the Queen of the Denubian Galaxy."

Allura was not impressed. Her face darkened.

"Refuse me, and your mouse as you see him now will be history," the Prince added hastily.

The Princess gasped, her beautiful azure eyes filling with angry tears.

The Brain paled, no easy feat, as he was already white.

"Get lost, Creep!" Lance sneered. "This is a new low for you, threatening the life of a mouse to bargain for the Princess."

"I will not kill him." Lotor addressed the Princess, and totally ignoring Lance, knowing it was the one surefire way to aggravate the Red Lion pilot whose ego was almost as legendary as his own.

Lance took the bait. "Hey fancy pants, I'm talking to you! You can't just-"

"But if you do not accept my proposal, you will never see him again." Lotor went on, staring at Allura. "Is that something you can live with?"

"She doesn't have to live with it or you!" Lance yelled. "Try anything, and I will personally fly to Doom and-"

"Lance, be quiet!" Coran spoke quietly but his tone effectively silenced the Red Lion pilot's rant. "May she take some time to consider your request, sir?" He asked the Doom prince.

Lotor considered the request. "Of course."

"Thank you."

"She has ten minutes."

The Brain flinched. Ten minutes? Granted, it was longer than the usual commercial break, but how could they form a plan in ten minutes?

Oddly, Coran didn't seem upset or unnerved by the idea. The Brain's gaze narrowed. Was that a smile lurking beneath the mustache? Interesting. Maybe he had a plan. Maybe there was a secret weapon! Maybe there was hope!

Lotor's eyes had also narrowed at seeing the Royal Advisor's benign expression. "No tricks! I shall contact you when your time is up and you'd better have an answer!"

Coran severed the connection. All eyes turned to the Castle diplomat, who sat down and leaned back into the Ops command chair, in a thoughtful pose, fingers steepled under his chin. He was the Royal Advisor, battle tested and cool under fire. They waited, expectancy humming in the lines of their bodies, for the sage advice that would send them into action.

"Well." Coran said. "That escalated quickly."

"Get ready for stage two, Witch," Lotor growled.

"Aren't you going to wait for their answer, my Prince?" Hagar asked in mild surprise.

"I didn't like that smug look on old Bore-an's face," the Prince replied curtly. "Prepare the mouse!"

Pinky swallowed hard as he was placed on the transporter pad. Whatever the two Doomians had planned for him, he was sure it involved heaping helpings of discomfort and woe.

As a shower of sparks suddenly shot out of the shower- head- shaped device above him, he tried to run, only to find himself glued in placed by the lazon beam shining down upon his head. The next plan was to pass out, but he was distracted from that as he looked down at his feet, which seemed to be growing to an immense size.

He looked around, and found himself on eye level with the Prince, who was watching him with narrowed eyes and compressed lips. He was as tall as Lotor! Which could only mean one thing -they were making him into a giant sized mouse! Which normally would have been quite a spiffy and grand idea, except that this was Lotor and Hagar's plan, which meant they intended to use him to hurt his friends in some way.

No matter how neato it was to be large, no matter how spiffy he looked, he could never abide using his size to bully someone. It was, as Brain would have said, a completely and utterly unacceptable option.

Pinky clenched his paws as he continued to grow. He was unbearably scared, he couldn't stop the process, but he had to hang on, had to keep the essence of who he was, some vestiges of memory, no matter what he became. His gaze returned to his feet once more. The claws on his toes were huge, which prompted the memory of a lullaby, one his mother had squeaked to him when he was a newborn. He began to sing it, hoping it would bring him the means to hang on as well as some comfort as bolts of lazon beamed from the massive nozzles that surrounded him on all sides...

I have a magic toe-o-nail,
I keep it on my foot,

It's always there when things get rough,
or when they go KA-PUT!

It has the cutest cuticle,
Free of all disease!
As toenails go, it's really quite

Ex-tra-ordin-ar-y...

To be continued!