I don't own Durarara.

Warning: Yaoi (boy x boy). Profanity.

"What are you doing?" Shizuo asked him.

Izaya turned surprised to hear he was not alone.

Quickly he grabbed the shirt on his bed and put it on.

"Who let you in? It's very impolite of you Shizu-chan not to knock before entering a room, but then again politeness has never really been your thing," he said, doing his best to sound like he didn't care that Shizuo caught him.

The blond didn't say anything for a while, just watched him before leaning against the doors entry way.

"Your sisters let me in and your mom told me you were in your room. Why aren't you going to school?"

"Ah~ Didn't know I had to report to you every time I missed school Shizu-chan," he answered, or more like evaded.

He didn't need to tell Shizuo why he didn't go to school.

The blond wouldn't understand what was happening to him. He would probably laugh if he told him the truth and that really wasn't going to help how he was feeling.

"Iza-"

"Don't worry Shizu-chan I'll definitely go tomorrow. So no need to be such a worry wort~," he interrupted not wanting to hear the blonds voice. He didn't want to see the blond, it was a reminder of how disgusting he was now.

Izaya could see that he was angering the blond, his body was stiff and tense, while his hand were bunched up on either side, no longer leaning against the entrance of his room.

"Listen Shizu-chan it was nice of you to come here and all but-"

"Shut up," the blond whispered.

Hurt by the response, Izaya felt anger well up within him.

"And why would I do that? This is my house Shizu-chan so if an-"

"I told you to shut up!" Shizuo said, as he looked at him angrily. The blond walked closer to him and he went on defense, taking out his knife and pointing it at the blond with a cocky smirk.

"Now, now Shizu-chan. I'm really not in the mood to fight, so just go away," he said, but that blond didn't listen, just moved to where he was. He didn't drop his hand with the knife and when Shizuo was right in front of him, he pressed the knife against the blonds chest.

They both stared at each other, one angrily looking at the other and the other doing his best to hide the emotions that were eating away at him.

"Why are you running away from me? Is it because of that-"

"Maybe I just don't want to see you Shizu-chan. Maybe I don't want to see that ridiculous pitiful face you give me because you feel sorry for me, but I don't need your pity. I'm fine," Izaya began to ramble. His hand holding the knife began to shake, he began to shake as every emotion began to crack the longer the blond stayed.

"What the fuck are you talking about? The only one that's pitying you is you, Izaya. Do you really think I care that you look a bit different now, cause I don't," the blond said, his anger no longer present.

Izaya laughed and moved the knife from Shizuo's chest to his neck.

"Yes you do. Everyone looks at me differently now, not because they can see it, but because they know what happened. This scar is imprinted, not only on my body, but in my whole being," Izaya said with a smirk, watching as the blond tried to deny what he said, but he didn't let him.

He just kept talking.

"Don't be an idiot Shizu-chan, even you know that ever since that day happened, everything changed and that includes our relationship." Izaya dropped his arm and moved to sit on his bed, exhausted by these feelings.

"Let me see," the blond said. Izaya looked at him, shocked at what the idiot said.

"No," he said.

Shizuo looked at him and once again moved in front of him. Izaya tensed up when the blond toppled him over and hovered above him.

"I want to see," the blond said once more, one of his hands moved so that it could go under his shirt and Izaya panicked.

He grabbed the hand and held on to it with as much power as he could.

"S-stop you brute," he said, his voice cracking.

Shizuo didn't listen, he was able to break free from his hold and the hand went underneath his shirt.

Izaya stiffened before he began to push Shizuo away. Of course the blond was stronger, so it was all in vain, but it didn't stop him from trying. Tears began to well in his eyes as the hand began to go further in, feeling his abnormalities and unraveling his insecurities.

"Izaya, what are you afraid of?" the blond asked. Izaya looked at him and pleaded him to stop.

He felt pathetic, but Shizuo was the one person he didn't want looking at his body.

"No," Shizuo said, and the blonds hand caressed the skin that was taut and delicate to the touch. He looked away tears streaming to the side and hair covering his face.

"Izaya... Look at me."

He didn't.

Everything was being bared open, and he was trying to block it out, pretending that Shizuo wasn't touching his default. Feeling his mistake.

He felt his shirt being to pull up and he snapped.

Shizuo wasn't going to see it.

He began to struggle, but the blond kept trying to pull his shirt up. Then he remembered about the knife he left next to him.

He grabbed it and this time slashed the blonds cheek with it.

Shizuo stopped and looked at him.

Izaya looked at the blond briefly wondering what face he was making, and if his tears were still streaming down his face. At the moment he was to afraid of being fully exposed and all he could think of was to stop the blond from seeing.

Sure the blond felt his scarred skin, but looking at it was worse.

He should know, he obsessively looked at it in the mirror all the time. Disgust and hate dominating every thought when he looked at his deformity.

"If you scarred me, would you let me see it?" the blond asked seriously, but it only managed to anger him more.

"Fuck you!" he spat.

His knife moved once more, slashing the other cheek and he hated that Shizuo didn't do anything. He allowed the cuts, probably because they were superficial and wouldn't leave that much damage, but he was sure that the blond would let him stab him and not care.

Why?

He was definitely crying now.

Izaya could feel his body shaking as sobs came out and he felt frustrated when the feel of his tears streaming down made him aware of his failure to mask his insecurities.

Shizuo grabbed the hand with the knife and took the knife away from him. He threw it to the side, but not once did the blonds eyes leave him.

He hated it.

So he hid his face with his hands and tried to stop his sobs.

Izaya felt the blond kiss his hands, before he pulled them away from his face. He looked the blonds face, a bit of blood streaming down each cheek and it made it look like he was crying, but those eyes were dry and full of strength.

Shizuo wasn't going to let him go deeper into depression, he knew that.

Still he didn't feel like he deserved the blonds love, strength, and concern.

Not when he was so pathetically self loathing.

"Izaya... Let me see, please."

He felt exhausted, his mind kept telling him to stop Shizuo from seeing, but he felt tired of running away and hiding. And he missed Shizuo.

His warm touch and the closeness they use to have before his accident.

So he nodded, closing his eyes as soon as his shirt was lifted up.

Izaya tried not to cry again, but shook afraid at the gaze he knew was giving him. He could feel those honey eyes looking at the big scar on the side of his stomach and insecurities kept playing with his mind.

He was waiting for Shizuo to call him disgusting or to be grossed out and leave him there heartbroken and scarred both physically and mentally.

Shizuo didn't do either.

The blonds lips caressed his scarred skin and his eyes flew open. Shocked that the blond had just kissed him.

Shizuo looked at him with a smile and chuckled when he began to blush.

Once more the blond kissed his skin, one hand moving to play with his nipple and a whimper escaped his lips. Izaya closed his eyes enjoying the feel of Shizuo's hands and lips on his body.

He shivered in anticipation when the blond began to undress both them. Izaya looked at the blonds nude form, a bit of envy came to him as he watched the flawless skin, unlike his.

Shizuo must have noticed his insecurities because the next words he said were completely cheesy, but hit him hard.

"Your beautiful, everything about you," the blond said, hovering over him and daring him to deny him.

He looked away before telling him to shut up in a playful way.

They kissed.

Slow and with passion that left them breathless. Their bodies rocked slowly together, making them crave more, but wanting to take thing slowly and to relearn each other.

Izaya's absence had probably hurt his blond lover, but Shizuo understood why.

Now the blond was showing him that he didn't need to run away or hide from him cause he wouldn't let him.

Shizuo began to prepare him until finally Izaya was a moaning mess and asking him for more.

"Shizuo" he moaned, his hips thrusting into the fingers within him.

Izaya was close, but before he could let go, the blonds finger were taken away and even though he wanted to scream at Shizuo for not letting him finished, he didn't deny he wanted the blond in him.

The blond lined himself again his entrance and he wrapped himself around the blond, afraid that he might leave. The first thrust left him breathless and a bit in pain, but he welcomed it.

He missed this and Izaya hated that he left it for so long.

"Are you okay?" his lover asked him, voice strained with the need to thrust and making Izaya smile for the first time since the accident.

His hands moved to the blonds face, cupping both slashed cheeks, and saying sorry for what he did. Shizuo smiled and turned his head to each side to kiss the inside of each hand.

Shizuo pulled out before thrusting back in.

Izaya eyes closed at the feel and he moaned, wrapping his arms around Shizuo and bringing him close.

The pace was slow and precise, both moaning softly and sweating profusely. Their lips meeting occasionally, before pulling away and staring at each other.

Shizuo grunted his name as he thrust a bit harder.

He squeezed Shizuo closer to him and held him with all his might, hoping dearly that this wasn't a dream.

"Fuck, Izaya," the blond moaned, and he shivered feeling himself getting closer to release once more.

Their pace became frantic, a warm calloused hand grabbing his thigh so tight he was sure it would leave a bruise, as his fingernails racked the back of the blonds sweaty back.

With one last thrust they both came, Izaya between their bodies, and Shizuo inside him.

They stayed connected for a while, neither wanting to let go, and the blond kissed him. He kissed back with fervor.

When the blond pulled away he said the words he had craved to hear, but had tried to forget.

"I love you. You know that right?"

Izaya smiled for the second time and told him he loved him too.

He never really thought that Shizuo had loved him so deeply. Always believing their relationship was more physical, but now he knew.

He knew now that Shizuo would always be there.

Hi :) I haven't written a one-shot in a while and after going to drrr kink I found a good prompt that I was inspired to write lol. I'm pretty positive I have a thing for hurt Izaya -_-', so sorry to Izaya lovers (I'm a Shizuo lover). Anyway hope all those who read it enjoyed it, this is a product of reading too much of Kyuugou's work (she a doujinshi artist as well as her original work which I freaking love so if you haven't read her shounen ai/yaoi stuff go read it) and Adele (which lead to the cheesy ending :)).