Chapter 2: Sorting Surprises, 2P Games, and the Toad Lady
"Beilschmidt, Ludwig" Professor McGonagall called.
She set the hat on the German's head and it started speaking in his head.
Ah. I haven't seen your kind in awhile. You represent the nation of Germany, don't you? Don't worry, you're secret's safe with me. Let's see, you possess a fair amount of wisdom and loyalty, but you're upset easily. You have a lot of courage as well. You also seem to have a lot of cunning. Slytherin would do you well. But you're too loyal to leave your friend behind, knowing he won't make it in that house. Hmm... You're willing to do anything to keep him safe, aren't you? Better be GRYFFINDOR!
Ludwig hopped off the stool and ran to the table with kids wearing red and gold. They were cheering loudly and making a general ruckus. Suddenly, he remember that Brit mentioning that Gryffidor was for the brave. Feli wouldn't get in. Little Feliciano will feel so abandoned. He hoped that Matthew was at least placed in the same house as the Italian.
"Jones, Alfred F."
The American jumped up on the stool and flashed the "V is for Victory!" sign at England and Canada. The witch set the hat on his head and the hat began to speak.
Another one, eh? Let me guess, the United States of America. I should tell you I won't tell a soul. I sorted your older brothers centuries ago. Now let's see, a touch of cunning, but not a lot. You're very loyal, even though you don't seem like it. Smarter than what you seem to your peers and wisdom, but I suppose that's natural. Ah, but you possess an extraordinary amount of courage. Just a fear of ghosts and... Russia and Belarus? Let's put you in... GRYFFIDOR!
America ran over and plopped down next to Ludwig. Arthur was practically beaming, though he'd never admit he was proud of his ex-colony. In fact if it was mentioned, he deny it and start yelling profanities. He and Romano need to invest in a swear jar.
"Vargas, Feliciano Venezanio."
Feli nervously approached the stool, clutching Italy-Cat close to his chest. Some of the older girls cooed because he was absolutely adorable. Other giggled about what happened earlier with the cat. He caught Arthur's eye and the island nation gave him a thumbs up. He sat down and started praying in rapid Italian as the hat was placed on his head. He jumped five feet in the air, but somehow landed on the stool. He was resisisting the urge to flee.
Let me guess, Italy? Northern Italy, to be exact. To differate between you and your brother, people call you "Venezanio." Let's see what we have here. A touch of cunning, but much less than your friend America. Wisdom, but that comes with the job. An extraordinary amount of loyalty. If anyone threatens your friends and family it'll be the last thing they ever do. But you're extremely brave, you've just suppressed it for so long. I understand. You don't want to end up bitter and ruined like your grandfater and Holy Roman Empire. And you don't want to be violent like you brothers. You need to awaken that courage and useit. I know the perfect place for that to happen... GRYFFINDOR!
Everybody was shocked as a shaking Feliciano ran as fast as he could and sat down next to Germany. They thought the hat was never going to place him. Alfred wrapped the Italian in a bone crushing hug as he scooted as close as he could to Ludwig.
"Williams, Matthew."
A lot of confused looks were exchanged as the Canadian climbed onto the stool and tightened his grip on Kumajirou. Arthur smiled at Matthew, ashamed he kind of forgot about his other little brother himself. The hat was placed on his head and it started whispering to him.
Canada, right? I remember Arthur and his brothers on this very stool hundreds of years ago. You possess more cunning than your younger twin. A fair amount of wisdom, but that does come naturally to your kind. Extremely loyal, especially your brother even though you're often mistaken for him. But extremely brave. You're not afraid to put him in his place sometimes. Where to put you? I know... GRYFFINDOR!
Alfred was doing his best "New York Cab" whistle and making more noise than anybody else in the room as Canada sat down next to him. England flashed America a lazy "Be Quiet or Else" look, but he too was happy for Matthew. Dumbledore gave them permission to eat and everybody besides the foreign nations began to eat.
Matthew tentatively took a bite a swallowed. Surprised it was actually good, he encouraged his companions to eat too. When everybody was done stuffing their faces, Dumbledore got up to make a speech.
He welcomed them and told them the rules. He told them about contraband items and when Quiditich practices began.
"Students, a friend of mine asks that you avoid any mysterious cupcakes and plates of pasta you find laying about. They say these are either poisoned or made from human body parts." he announced causing shrieks of disgust.
"NOT OLIVER'S CUPCAKES AND LUCINO'S PASTA! WHATEVER YOU DO DON'T CUSS. OLIVER WILL CUT YOUR TOUNGE OUT AND PUT IT IN A CUPCAKE!" Alfred cried in panic. "AND DON'T PLAY THEIR CHESS GAME! YOU'LL END UP DEAD! ESPECIALLY IF LUCINO'S INVOLVED BECAUSE HE'S A SADISTIC SON OF A-"
"ALFRED!" Arthur roared. "That is enough! You're going to send everyone into mass hysteria."
"But Iggy, it's Lucino and Oliver. That means Matt and Allen will be involved and I don't want Allen's bat, Lucino's knife, Matt's hockey stick, or Oliver's cupcakes near me." America sobbed as he ran to his older brother dragging his protesting twin and a grumpy polar bear in tow. He was as pale as a ghost. He wrapped his arms around the older nation. "It was bad enough when they played their game with us the first time, but I don't want another. They're scary."
Arthur sighed. "I understand that, but you can't scream it or they'll hear you, idiot."
"Ve~ Don't-a worry. Luci's already seen what happens when-a he make me mad. I doubt he'll have that-a Pole start his little mind-a game again." Italy said darkly. "Ve~ Now let's stop before-a they get any ideas."
"Right, thank you Alfred for saying what I was going to. As he said, don't play any games with suspicious charaters or anyone you don't know and trust. I believe these beings possess deadly weapons and magic and our magic doesn't work on them." the headmaster said. "On that happy note, I would like to introduce our new History of Magic professor, Arthur Kirkland. He is also Matthew's and Alfred's brother so that explains why Alfred is crushing him to death."
Arthur waved akwardly. Italy and Germany clapped loudly while everybody else stared at the scene America was making. Kumajirou and Italy-Cat growled because they could hear a faint laughing coming from Arthur's trunk. This caused Alfred to panic more.
"Sadistic Italian bastard is going to hurt What's-His-Face and What's-His-Face's brothers." the polar bear announced loudly before turning to Matthew. "Who are you?"
"I'm Matthew. The one who feeds you, remember?" the Canadian replied.
"Oh, Matthew, Matt says he needs to talk now." the bear said. "It's about cupcake man, Itailian sociopath, brutal American, and disorganized German."
"I'll talk later." Canada said softly in the direction of the trunk.
Dumbledore continued his speech, acting as if nothing had ever happened. He welcomed back the old Care of Magical Creatures professor and introduced the new DADA teacher. A stout, toad-like woman in pink stood up and made a speech that nobody honestly cared about because she talked like she was talking to a baby and not young adults.
Arthur muttered something in Alfred's ear about Poland having a heart attack if he saw how much pink she was wearing. And he would have a fit about how awful her outfit looked. And that she might be receiving a howler from the Pole and she'd have no clue why. Or even his counterpart, loathed the color pink. Alfred and Matthew giggled causing her to shoot them dirty, undermining looks. Kumajirou and Italy-Cat forgot about the 2Ps and had started growling at Umbridge before Kuma heard Lucino mutter something to Poland's counterpart and turned his attention back to that.
Finally, she finished her speech. There was tentative and poliet applause. Dumbledore finish his speech and dismissed everyone. Arthur beckoned Feli and Ludwig up to him and told them to follow him.
He took his trunk to his classroom before opening it and pulling out the mirror. He hung it on the wall and saw their counterparts in their meeting room at 2P Italy's house.
"Vhat ze hell are you doing?" Ludwig demanded as Luciano licked his knife. "You better not be planing somezhing."
"I was just going to offer your new friends some cupcakes." Oliver said. "My special ones, not the extra special ones. Have to make a good first impression. Anyway, we're not allowed to do anything serious. I'm just going to deliver all your mail from the others and not look through it. But Artie never said I can't go through and have some innocent fun. Want a cupcake Alfie? Mattie? You're much cuter than my Allie and my Mattie were."
Before anybody could respond, America's 2P was beating up England's 2P with his special baseball bat. Suddenly, there was a small, annoying cough. Everyone, even the 2Ps, stopped what they were doing and stared into the ugly face of Dolores Umbridge.
"Shit." England whispered. And this time, Oliver didn't do a thing about it.
Cliffhanger! What's Umbrigde goimg to do with the 2Ps? Or better yet, what will the 2ps do about her? Which is the lesser of two evils? Correct my grammar and accents. I hope I didn't make anyone too OOC, but I figure nation in general just flip it. I'll explain why America's being a little clingy to England later. And another nation will swing by later and explain about Italy's placement in Gryffidor. I don't own Hetalia or Harry Potter. Also, please excuse iPod spell check, it doesn't catch everything and changes certain things I want there.