Chapter 6: The Howler
Canada noticed his twin had been in a sour mood for an entire week. He wasn't laughing or cracking jokes and would explode at the randomest things. Matthew offered to play baseball, but he refused. It worried him that America was acting out of character.
For the rest of the week he deliberately skipped Defense Against the Dark Arts and refused to say why when Matthew asked him. He just said he didn't care if he failed that toad's class. In History of Magic, he'd ignore England's questions and do the paperwork he was missing out on. In potions, he'd get snippy with Snape and usually ended up using swear words that haven't been used in a hundred years.
Feliciano tended to avoid him, sensing his foul mood. Ludwig on the other hand tried to scold him, only to have him lock himself in the dormitory. Matthew found it strange that Arthur hadn't said a word to Alfred. The Englishman would usually be yelling at the American for his behavior. Finally, the Canadian decided to approach his older brother.
"Why is Alfred in such a foul mood, eh?" he asked.
The older nation sighed. "When Umbridge came snooping, she reopened some old wounds. One of which was painful for me."
"Revolution?"
"Try 1812." England corrected. "Along with the Civil War, Pearl Harbor, and the Cold War."
Canada frowned. "Oh I'll kill her. Those are still touchy for him, eh."
"Yes." the older nation agreed mournfully. "For as young as he is, his history is extremely bloody with everything from the Seven Years War to 9/11. Even Ivan wouldn't dare bring up those subjects. I don't blame him if he never shows his face in her class again."
Kumajirou seized his chance. "Who are you?"
"I'm Matthew." Canada replied. "Your owner."
"Honestly, why do you keep that bloody thing?" England asked. "It can't even remember your name."
"To be fair, I can't remember his either." Matthew said. "Anyway, it's best just to leave Alfred alone. We can't reason with him and we'll just make it worse if we try, eh."
"Better tell that to Ludwig. I know for a fact Feliciano's been avoiding him, but Ludwig's personality dictates he's going to yell at Alfred for his sour mood."
Ron, Harry, and Hermione were discussing the Order Friday morning at breakfast when it came.
"Bloody hell, someone's got a howler!" Ron exclaimed as it landed in front of Professor Kirkland.
The four first years that hung around the professor ran up as it opened. Everybody in the Great Hall was watching him. The look on Kirkland's face was a mixture between horror and rage.
"ANGLETERRE, HOW COULD YOU TAKE MON PETITE MATTHIEU AND NOT TELL ME? I CAN UNDERSTAND AMÉRIQUE, MON AMI, BUT NOT MATTHIEU." a man with a French accent cried.
"BECOME ONE WITH MOTHER RUSSIA, DA?" a man with a Russian asked.
"BECOME ONE WITH ME, BIG BROTHER." a Russian sounding girl exclaimed.
"INGLATERRA, MI AMIGO, YOU'RE DEAD." a Spanish man said.
"QUIET TOMATO BASTARD. TEA BASTARD, YOU DARE TO TAKE MIO IDIOTA FRATELLO AND NOT TELL ME? I'LL-A KILL YOU!" an Italian man yelled.
"HOW CAN HYU TAKE VEST AND NOT TELL THE AWESOME ME?" a man with a Germanish accent asked.
Clang! It sounded like someone just got hit with a frying pan. Bang! Somebody fired a gun on the other end.
"Vash-san prease do not fire your gun. Everybody, we need to carm down. Arthur-san wirr not appreciate our fighting." a Japanese man reasoned.
"YE WORRY TOO MUCH. ME WEE BROTHER DESERVES THIS. MAKING ME SET IN ON MEETINGS AND NOT BRINGING NESSIE." a man with a Scottish accent said.
"YOU'RE DRUNK ALISTAR." a Hungarian woman snapped.
"Vhen is he not drunk, Elizabeta?" an Austrian man asked.
"That's is vhy Arthur represents them at meetings." a Romanian said. "And he's going to murder everyone here."
"HEY YOU JERK ENGLAND, ONE DAY YOU'LL BOW TOO ME." a boy cried.
"Peter, you should be at home." a Finnish man said.
"YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER, DA?" the Russian asked.
"I AM NOT SU'SAN'S WIFE!" the Finnish man exclaimed.
"ARTIE'S LIKE TOTALLY GOING TO KILL US. COME ON, LIET. I DON'T LIKE WANT TO DIE." a Polish sounding man said.
"ELIZABETA, HOW COULD HYU HIT THE AWESOME ME VITH YOU'RE FRYING PAN UND LEAVE ME LAYING THERE?" the German sounding man asked.
"MARRYME,MARRYME,MARRYME,MARRYME,MARRYME..." the Russian sounding girl chanted before the howler started glowing in a purplish aura and burst into evil looking, purple flames.
Professor Kirkland's face was flushed with anger. The little Italian first year had pulled out a white flag and was waving it furiously as if his life depended on it. He was begging for his life in a mixture of Italian and English and crying. The American and the Canadian were backing up while the German grabbed the Italian's robes and yanked him backwards.
"I'll kill that bloody frog." he growled before stalking out.
"Bloody hell." Ron said. "What do you suppose that was about?"
"Don't know." Harry replied. "I'm sure we'll find out when we go to class."
Professor Kirkland did not show up for History of Magic with fifth year Gryffindors and Syltherins. Instead that those four first years that trailed after him were there.
"Ve~ Ciao! I'm Feliciano Vargas and this is Alfred Jones, Matthew Williams, and Ludwig Beilschmidt. We are filling in for Profesore Kirkland because he went to go murder Fratello, big brother Antonio, big brother Francis, Miss Elizabeta, Mr. Rodreich, his little brother Peter, his big brother Alistar, Kiku, Mr. Ivan, Miss Natalya, Feliks, Vash, and Luddy's big brother Gilbert." the Italian said. "And we are experts."
"Ja. Und Feli is going to start vith Italian history." Germany announced.
"Ve~ Well Italy was part of the Roman Empire and houses its heart. But when Germania killed Rome, several countries tried to claim it for themselves. France, Austria, Prussia, and Spain fought over it until Austria won. South Italy was too hard too handle, so Austria gave it to Spain, keeping the Northern half. Eventually Turkey tried to take both parts, but Spain saved South and North defended itself. Eventually Italy got its independence and after many attempts, it unified in 1861. It was under German control during World War I, but liked Germany so much that it was part of the Axis Powers during World War II along with Japan, Romania, and Bulgaria with Spain's support. Spain didn't join because of its civil war. Italy was the first to surrender." the Italian explained. "Now, any questions?"
"I sure as hell didn't know that much when I was a first year. How 'bout you 'Mione?" Ron asked.
"Not about Italy. It's like he was there." she mused.
"He can't have been." Harry pointed out. "He's a kid."
"What do you think happened to Kirkland?" Ron asked.
"I reckon he was trying to calm himself down after that howler." Harry replied.
The three walked to potions trying to come up with theories on who sent the howler but couldn't come up with one. Who were those people. And why did they call him "England?"
The inevitable Howler chapter. Poor England was publicly humiliated. P.S. Italy was right about where he went. Thank you to my reviewers and followers. I don't own Hetalia or Harry Potter. JLJELLYBEAN123, you got it. Italy made a Kane Chronicle's reference in the last chapter.