Death and Pestilence

Chapter 4: A Knight to Remember

A/N: DAMN it's been a long time since I've updated this shit. And doesn't it warm my heart to see how people received this! *cough*poorly*cough*

Oh well. I guess it's expected from an esoteric game and a quirky writing style. Anyways, to those of you who've stuck with this story all the way to this fourth chapter, congratulations and thank you! Also, I'd totally love to hear reviews from you guys. My writing in general is experimental, even for my other fanfics. So if you have anything to say about how I write or this story, I'd be totally receptive of it. (Unless it's unconstructive, then I don't really see the point in that). Thanks, and enjoy!

"Sir Plague Knight? Have you been up since dawn? Why are you awake this early in the morning?"

"Early to me, late for you, old man. Hee, hee...why is that so unbelievable? I'm really into this new project."

"Yes, very much so, I presume, enough to scarcely miss your meeting." Said my long-bearded aide.

"...Wait...what?" I peered out the window. The sun was burning aloft in the sky. I hopped out of the chair and donned my robe. "Rats! Why didn't you warn me sooner?!" Robert shrugged. "What time is it?"

The wizardly man glanced at a grandfather clock near the door, then back to me. "Erm...eleven thirty, sir. My goodness, you look exhausted! Did you get any sleep?"

"Hardly, but that's what the mask is for." I joked, slapping said mask onto my face. I climbed up the windowsill and opened the window. "Watch my crow for me. It would be a terrible shame if she electrocuted the place! Hee, hee..."

"Blast, Plague Knight, must you be so adamantly against taking the stairs?!"

"Of course, what kind of person would I be if I weren't? Farewell 'til later, Rob." With that, I jumped out of the window accompanied by my aide's disapproving curses. In a matter of minutes I teleported onto the floor, and dashed towards the east of the continent. To a place which some refer to as the "end of the world": the Tower of Fate. The charmingly dark citadel with a plasma-green sky and eternal precipitation would be where my meeting was held at noon. Today I would finally meet in person the knights whom I've only heard of before. A ragtag group of seven other ne'er-do-wells who enjoy spreading evil and destruction onto these once peaceful lands. The Enchantress, whose 'magic' (as she distastefully calls it) has sealed the people of this vast region to a cruel fate under her boundless, demonic power, had hired us to distract a certain traveler (what was his name again? Spade...guy?) from foiling her plots. She collectively called us the "Order of No Quarter," or something silly of the sort.

I giggled to myself, walking contently down a road. I didn't have to rush yet, and odds were those other notorious villains probably felt the same way. If there was anything a bad guy was bad at, it was being prompt! Or maybe that was just me-

"WHOA WATCH OUT, RICHMOND- wait it's just an old man, never mind!" Suddenly I could hear loud footsteps behind me, followed by concerned whinnies and huffs. A puff of air and dust surrounded me like a veil as a huge horse with gilded armor and riding gear slammed onto the dirt road before me. It neighed and shifted to face me with sympathetic eyes, much to the annoyance of its similarly gilded rider. "HEY, Richmond, HURRY FORTH, lest I miss my appointment for brunch! Did I not just allow you to just run over this old man?! He probably would've keeled over tomorrow anyhow...oh pardon me, you're a medic in robes."

"Close." I tossed my cane around in my hand and did a little jig, showing off to this impudent wealthy man how I could move with ease. "I'm still young, and I am not a doctor. Hee, hee, quite the contrary, actually. I bestow plagues onto the unwitting rather than heal them." I pulled out a syringe from my belt and pressed on the trigger threateningly, letting its glowing green contents drip to the floor. It left a small sink hole in the dry dirt road below. "Care for a demonstration, arrogant one?"

The heavily-armored man's horse whinnied nervously, retreating hoof by hoof. The man showed a similar change in demeanor, fiddling with the crown on his head. "Oh heavens no, keep that vile...whatever it is...away from me!"

"Hee, hee, hee..." I had a feeling this fool would be fun to toy with. And also that he was the same regal, throne-usurping knight I thought him to be. "...Only if you give me a ride. I have a place to be as well."

"What?! No I most definitely shall NOT, you dreadful, tiny elf! I'd much rather drag you by a rope of 50 paces off the tail of my horse than have you situated anywhere near me! Now DEPART before I run over your leprous carcass as planned!"

Harsh words from a stranger. "...You can try. Hee, hee." I hopped around his horse, unsettling the skittish beast more and making it dance to avoid me. Its rider grunted in irritation.

"Why you little VERMIN...fine then, I'm in front of you, anyways!" Said the gilded man. His armor glittered from curious sunbeams as he ordered his horse to advance.

But how could I simply let this ass go free? In one sprightly bound, I leapt in front of his speeding horse. It stopped suddenly, rearing up and neighing in distress. The resplendent knight slid off his horse and tumbled onto the road unceremoniously.

With an eerie cackle, I stepped over to the grounded man and poked his breastplate with my cane. "Hee, hee...so how about that ride?" I pestered him. With an angry grumble, the crowned knight rose up off the ground and roughly seized me in his arms, bridal style.

"Oh my...how romantic, hee, hEY!" I joked, but only to be thrown onto the back of his horse without care.

"Shut it, you obnoxious little hobo." The man mounted his horse. "Now where the hell do you want to go so I can make my meeting in time?!" he growled, urging on Richmond with a nasty slap of the reins. The horse sped off in the east direction. "Dammit, if my gryphon wasn't still suffering from bellyache I would be there by now...how about to the next village? You could harass some people there or something."

"Hmm...no, how about I tell you when we're close by?"

"...Fine. Macabre elf." He grumbled to himself, but only to be whacked on the helmet by my cane.

~~~

At full speed with the haughty knight's horse, we were only late to the meeting by ten minutes. I informed the man to keep his helmet on at all times when around me given my aura of sicknesses. By the way he laughed, I could tell he didn't believe I even had such a power. But sure enough, realization dawned on his thick skull when I did not tell him to stop until we reached the tower of fate's gruesome gates.

"Alright, sir, thank you kindly. This is indeed the place I wanted to be."

"What...but how can that be...WAIT, are you also an evil knight?!" He inquired, parking his horse next to an insane-looking, striped jousting tank.

"Hee, hee, hee...quite, I am-"

"But how can that be?! You're so puny and frail and hideous!" He exclaimed with a melodramatic gasp. I whacked him again, faster than he could counter with his tacky scepter.

"Hush, you blundering oaf! We have a meeting, remember? Most of the knights are already here." I hissed, extending a palm to denote the various vehicles and methods of transportation present: the tank, a monstrous timber wolf, and a glamorous flying machine. And who knows who else was already here.

The knight sighed, and began walking into the tower. "My sincerest apologies than, ally. I suppose I gained the wrong impression of you. I am King Knight, by the way."

"I gathered. I'm Plague Knight."

King Knight face-palmed. "Oh bother, of course you are! All the clues were there; what a fool I am to have not deduced that sooner!"

"Hee, hee, I gathered that as well." Suddenly the earth shook, and the ground below them cracked. Huge, orange-striped claws pierced the lifeless earth. A portly being in crimson red armor exploded out of his hole, shooting up dirt and dead grass like an erupting volcano. "Sweet ANCIENTS I'm late I'm late I'm late!" The knight explained, hurrying into the citadel like a chicken with its head cut off.

"...I say we should follow suit." King Knight said, but I was already hopping after the red knight. With a fed-up groan, the usurper stomped after us.