Hallo my dear readers! I'm sorry for the delay - I didn't have internet access last week. If I didn't replay to your reviews, that's also why.
Disclaimer: I'm just dreaming.
Betaed by Breathesgirl
He wasn't the villain in the story anymore – so he could be the better man and save Bill.
He smiled in the dark at the irony of that. He could just imagine the look on Bill's face when he realized that it was Eric he owed his existence to.
Oh, Bill – he thought, suddenly amused. – You're so screwed. You will get to be neither a hero nor a martyr. Whatever are you going to do? I believe it's a lose/lose for you!
It was probably one of the few times in Eric's long un-dead existence when he fell into his day-time rest fighting back a snicker.
Sookie woke up feeling well-rested for the first time in what seemed like ages. She stretched and sighed contentedly. The bright light of day was filtering through her bedroom window; it was a sunny day.
She blinked and smiled lazily as she remembered the previous night's events.
It was such a relief to know that Eric was going to be okay. It felt like a miracle – an unexpected grace, a way out of a hopeless situation, an impossible wish granted.
It had seemed like he had reached the point of no return, there had been no cure, no solution, nothing to do and then, suddenly, it turned out that there was! She couldn't have dreamed up a better scenario even if…
She sat up abruptly, her heart hammering and head swimming from the too quick movement. An icy shudder of fear ran down her spine.
…couldn't have dreamed up…
No.
No, no, no. It couldn't be.
Could it?
Eric had been there, at her house, just a few hours before. He had come to her, touched her, kissed her… hadn't he? She remembered the sound of his voice, the feel of his skin under her fingertips, his arms around her, his scent… The memory was so vivid, so real, it couldn't have possibly been just a dream.
Are you sure about that? Have your other dreams about him not felt real? How can you be certain it wasn't just another blood-dream?
She forced herself to take a deep, albeit shaky, breath and then to exhale slowly in order to not let the panic take over. She needed to think and she needed to think rationally. She was being paranoid. Why would she doubt her own senses and memory?
Yeah, because it makes more sense for the non-existent cure to suddenly appear out of thin air just when you need it and for Eric to come by just to tell you he is going to be fine after you had pushed him away time and time again than for you to have a dream about something you desperately want to happen. Which one is more likely? – a sarcastic, cruel voice in her head said: her own voice. She hated it.
She shut her eyelids tightly.
Calm the fuck down, Sookie.
She scrambled from her bed clumsily and ran barefoot to the front door, as if she thought she could find some physical evidence of Eric's visit, but of course there was none. What did she expect to find? – He hadn't even entered the house and had not left any items behind. All he had done was stand on the porch and take off some of his clothes and then put them back on. There would be no empty bottle of True Blood, no moved chairs or forgotten shirt conveniently waiting for her to confirm her story and chase the doubt away. The porch was empty and the whole encounter seemed surreal in the daylight.
Think.
There had to be a way to find out the truth. She knew that she wouldn't fully relax until she saw with her own eyes, when she wasn't exhausted and her brain was on a functioning level, that he was okay, but she needed at least a sign that she had not just made it all up tohelp her stay calm. Her first instinct had been to drive to Fangtasia and bang on the door demanding entry, but that was exactly what Eric had told her not to do – or at least she thought he had.
Don't come to Fangtasia.
Maybe she could drive by very slowly and listen to the minds inside the building to see if there were any humans thinking in Japanese…
I promise not to do anything stupid.
She sighed.
He had said he would contact her… that he might call her… maybe he had? She turned on her heel to look at the answering machine but there was no blinking light indicating that she had new messages. She realized that her cell-phone was still lying somewhere in the woods.
Brilliant, Sookie.
What if he'd been trying to reach her that way?
Maybe she should call him? She picked up the phone and started pressing the numbers. It was daytime, but maybe…
Wait for my call.
"Fuck!" she cried out in frustration and threw the phone against the wall. The cheap plastic shattered at the impact and landed in pieces on the floor. Only then did Sookie belatedly realise that she had just cut off the only way Eric could use to communicate with her before nightfall. Great.
She tried to pick up the pieces and put them back together but her hands trembled too much. She stopped and closed her eyes again. She needed to take a step back and regain some control. She waited what felt a like few minutes, but was probably only a few seconds, for her breath to stabilize before opening her eyes again.
When she did, the first thing her gaze fell upon was her blue bathrobe spread across the armchair – the bathrobe she had put on before going to open the door and finding Eric on the other side of the threshold in the late night hours - the same one she distinctly remembered hanging on thehook on the bathroom wall before going to sleep the night before.
She stared at it for a moment in silence and then started laughing so hard her belly ached. Eventually her laugh turned into a sob and then she finally quieted.
"Oh, Eric," she whispered, resting her head against the cool wall.
The sounds slowly came back into focus through the fog in her mind, returning with the other senses: the chirping of the birds outside, the clock ticking, the loud buzz of the old fridge in the kitchen.
This time her hands were steadier and she actually managed to put the pieces of the phone back together. She was just wondering if it would work when it started ringing and she almost dropped it again in surprise.
"Hello?" she said, answering it hurriedly.
"Sookie?"
She let the disappointment wash over her when the voice wasn't the one she expected and hoped for. She swallowed, "Jessica?" she asked. "Is everything okay? Why are you calling me at…" she looked at the clock, "…noon? You shouldn't be up! You're going to get the bleeds."
Suddenly she remembered. She sat up straighter. Of course – how could she forget?
And yet you did, said the small voice in her head. You didn't even remember he existed just a minute ago.
"Sookie, I'm so glad to hear your voice! I didn't know who else to call."
"What is it? Is Bill…?"
"He's getting worse! He's awake and he says that he's made his peace with the fact he is sick and he wants to die! He convinced himself it's for the best and I'm afraid that he might try to do something to himself… He even tried to release me…" her voice broke.
"Oh, sweetie, he doesn't mean it. He thinks there is no hope and that it would hurt you less if he…"
"But he had already released me once!" she shouted. "Right after he turned me, when he had his 'I don't want to be a maker' phase… How can he not remember it? Sookie, what kind of maker doesn't remember whether he released his child or not?" The young vampiress sounded heart-broken.
Only Bill…
"Jessica, he's delusional," Sookie said firmly, hoping to high heaven that she was right and that was the reason, because she didn't have the heart to tell the poor girl differently. "It's the virus talking. I'm sure the real Bill knows that," she lied. She wasn't sure at all. "How can I help you?"
"Well… He was asking for you…"
Sookie hesitated, remembering how the previous night's visit ended.
"Jess, I don't know… You saw how he got when he saw me…"
"I know. I know and I'm sorry, Sookie! I don't want things to be… awkward for you," it was a nice thing to say that she understood that Sookie might not want to watch Bill hallucinating about being in bed with her. "It's just… I'm really tired and I'm afraid I'm going to pass out if I don't go to rest and he's… could you just come here and make sure he doesn't walk out to meet the sun or something like that? I'm really worried about him. I don't think I can leave him alone right now…"
Sookie looked down and played with the edge of her night-gown. She wasn't particularly looking forward to spending any time in the same room with Bill considering the circumstances, but she knew it was something she needed to do – if not for Bill, for Jessica. It was already hard enough on her.
"Sure, Jess," she said, trying to hide her reluctance. "I'll be there. I just need to do a few things before I can go, okay?"
"Thank you, Sookie. It really means a lot to me. I'll be waiting for you. Just call me when you're outside the door to let me know it's you and then wait for me to unlock it and hide."
"Will do. Bye."
After ending her call with Jessica Sookie changed into some actual clothes, got herself ready, drank her coffee and grabbed a snack to have something to eat at Bill's – after all, she hadn't even had a chance to eat breakfast that morning. She had one more errand to run before going to Bill's: she packed her charger and then she went on a search mission. She retraced her own steps from the night she had walked home from Merlotte's and after spending some time on a frustrating search (she didn't remember which bushes she had recklessly thrown her cell-phone at) she finally found the damn piece of electronic equipment. It was dead, as expected, but she hoped that maybe she would be able to get it working after plugging it in.
She shook her head again at her own stupidity. It was really a miracle she was still alive.
There was no point in dwelling on it so she simply put the cell-phone in her pocket and hightailed to Bill's.
She knocked on the mansion's door.
"Jessica? It's me, Sookie!"
She heard the locks moving and waited patiently for Jessica to tell her it was okay to come in.
"Thank you again for doing this, Sookie," the redhead said, leading her deeper into the house. She looked awfully pale, even for her standards, and there were traces of dried blood both under her nose and in the corners of her eyes. She had probably tried to wash away the evidence of the bleeds, but she had also cried. "He drifted off a while ago, but I'll feel better knowing you're here in case he wakes."
"Just show me where he is and go get some rest, honey. Don't worry about anything. I…" she hesitated, not sure if she should tell Jessica about the cure – she was going to find out if Eric gave it to Bill, but Sookie couldn't be completely sure if he would succeed in getting it on time considering Bill's quickly deteriorating condition and she didn't want to give Jessica false hope. On the other hand, she really wanted to comfort her.
If Eric promised to help, then he'll help. It's not false hope - it's just hope.
"I talked to someone," she said carefully. "I don't want to raise your hopes, but there might be a way to help Bill."
"Really?!"
"Yes. Really," Sookie smiled softly.
"B-but how? Who?… When?! We should be doing something!"
"I already did what I could and so did you. Now all that is left to do is wait."
"But I didn't do anythingI I'm just sitting here with Bill and making sure that he doesn't off himself before the virus does and doing nothing…"
"Exactly. You're watching over him – and as you pointed out yourself, someone has to. Now go get some sleep and I'll take over. Help is on the way."
Jessica looked torn for a moment but finally her shoulders sagged and she nodded.
"Okay," she whispered.
Sookie smiled at her reassuringly. The vampiress hesitated one more time:
"Just how far… on the way is that help?"
"I should know more in the evening."
Jessica nodded again.
"Thank you, Sookie. Whether it works or not, I want you to know how grateful I am to you for even trying. I know you and Bill haven't been…"
"You're welcome, Jessica. I would do that for anyone… and I can't really take too much credit. I did nothing more than ask for help." Sookie thought of Eric: he was doing all the dirty work and he didn't even like Bill.
Jessica smiled for the first time that day.
"Well then," she said. "I guess you asked the right person."
"That I did," Sookie whispered long after Jessica walked away.
I don't remember when Sookie got back her phone, but for the sake of this story let's just agree that's what happened.
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