Yay another chapter! Hope you guys enjoy it! Hopefully I'll be busy on the next few chapters tomorrow. Have a great weekend! As always, thanks so much for your awesome comments and support! (Cough Brenda :D)

Chapter 12

Iris was already putting things together by the time she and Joe got out of the car. Her jaw tightened and her walk turned into short, clipped, strides as they headed down the hallway to the main lab. By the time they rounded the corner and the room came into view, she was angry all over again.

"-have to be focused on one sand pile for the entire day. What if he's sleeping? How do you even know he's at that one? You could go for weeks changing piles and miss him. Maybe he just plays in those things like a giant sandbox and leaves." Caitlin was saying. She was leaning over a computer monitor as Cisco adjusted the view on it. Harrison was sitting nearby, deep in thought.

"Hey, I know it's a long shot, but we are out of options. This will just be my hobby for a while. Maybe we'll get lucky. He'll be my needle in a sand pile." Cisco leaned back in his chair, grinning at his joke.

"Your hobby?" Caitlin shook her head, smiling. "You mean besides patching suits and building traps for yellow-" She broke off as she suddenly became aware they were no longer alone. She smacked Cisco's shoulder. Both of them spun around, staring at the shortest of the couple that had just entered the lab. Harrison looked up, hiding his surprise. He almost instantly returned his face to his typical unflappable affect.

"Hello, Joe. Welcome, Miss West." Harrison's smile didn't quite reach his eyes as he awaited further information.

Joe ignored the greeting and came in a few steps further. "Okay," He began in a matter of fact tone. "I'm going to need you guys to break out any and all files you have on The Flash and his activities since Barry started this little escapade. Iris needs to get caught up. Oh, and she knows all about it too."

Iris found her voice. Her very angry voice. " Oh my god, you are his team." She glared from Cisco to Caitlin. "You lied to me. I don't believe it."

Cisco eyed her nervously. "Obviously she didn't know everything, thanks man." He carefully stood up and shifted behind Caitlin for cover.

Caitlin's eyebrows had shot into the ceiling. "Hi, Iris, how are you?" She gave a weak smile. Iris didn't reply. Harrison remained unperturbed. Joe raised an eyebrow, suddenly aware that there was a story he didn't know.

There was a tense silence.

Joe put up an impatient hand and beckoned with his fingers. "C'mon, let's see the files, I know you've got 'em. You people are scientists, after all. You document everything."

"He has us there." Harrison murmured. His gaze shifted from Iris to Caitlin, who was looking to him for permission. He gave her a nod.

Caitlin walked past them and down the hallway, motioning for Joe and Iris to follow. As they exited the main lab, Cisco called after them.

"Does this mean you won't be bringing us coffee anymore?"

Harrison smiled. "I think that may be what it means, Cisco."

Cisco flopped into a chair. "Man, I knew that was too good to be true."

Caitlin led Joe and Iris down the hall to a small storeroom. Joe looked around as they entered, expecting computer monitors and digital storage. Some file cabinets stood against the opposite wall.

"What, no computer files on this?" Joe asked. Iris was standing behind him with her arms folded.

Caitlin was bending down to the floor, where she removed a false floor piece that revealed a safe. As she put in the combination, she explained. "We started that way, but we know a few too many good hackers. One in particular, not that she'd be a threat. But we can't be too careful. We figured paper would be safest. We keep our studies and scientific information on Barry in the computer systems, but not his cases as The Flash."

Joe looked fairly impressed. Caitlin straightened up with a large stack of files and placed them on the small table. "I'll just go get you a chair." She looked at Iris, who refused to meet her eyes.

Joe gestured to the pile of papers. "Well, you said no more secrets. There you go."

Iris looked at the pile as well. Barry's huge double life, reduced to a stack of files. She almost felt like an intruder, coming here and reading these. She looked at her dad. He was studying her with a sympathetic look on his face.

"Hon, I know this is a lot to take in. But you wanted to know everything. This is the best way I can think of to show you that I'm not going to be keeping secrets from you any more. Just…read the files. It will help you understand."

Iris nodded. "Okay." Caitlin arrived with a comfortable chair, still looking nervous. Iris took the chair, avoiding eye contact still. They left her in the storeroom alone to read. She sat at the table and studied the stack of files. She remembered when she would have sold her soul to get her hands on this much information about The Flash. Long ago, when he was a heroic figure that was so mysterious barely anyone believed in him. Now she knew so much and was about to find out even more. Even though she knew the sensitive information she was now privy to would never be published on her blog, she suddenly felt like a serious journalist.

"Well," she muttered to herself. "This is what a serious journalist does. Get the whole story."

She located the earliest file, all the way at the bottom, and began to read.

When Joe returned to the main lab, Harrison was waiting for him.

"Did Barry tell her?" He asked.

Joe shook his head. "She figured it out. Don't worry, she may be angry but she's not going to do anything to hurt Barry or what he does."

Harrison nodded. "I'm sure of that."

Joe stepped away and pulled out his phone. He dialed Barry's cell number and waited while it rang. When Barry answered, he sounded out of breath. Joe skipped the preliminary greetings.

"Thanks for the heads up that Iris knew about The Flash. Really appreciated that."

There was a moment of silence on the other end. "Sorry, I wasn't really thinking straight after she and I talked."

Joe could only imagine. "Yeah. Well she's at S.T.A.R. Labs now, so I wouldn't show up any time soon if you want to avoid her."

Barry wasn't sure how to answer that. He wouldn't mind seeing Iris, angry as she was, but he was pretty sure she didn't want to see him.

"Don't worry, I'm not in Central City at the moment."

Joe's head came up. "Where are you? Running away isn't going to fix anything you know."

Barry was nodding as he walked. "Yeah, I know. I'm just…clearing my head."

That didn't make Joe feel any better. "You are coming back, right? Like soon?"

"Yeah, I'll be back tonight. Hey don't let her be too hard on Caitlin and Cisco. They were just doing their job."

Joe's forehead crinkled. "All right. Talk to you later."

"Okay, bye."

They hung up. Joe immediately headed for Cisco. "Hey Cisco, I want to talk to you, man."

Barry put his phone back in his pocket and made sure his clothes weren't smoking. He had changed before he left the city and tried not to go too fast. He adjusted his jacket and headed for the visitor's entrance of Iron Heights Prison.

The more case files Iris read through, the more she felt like an amnesiac regaining little bits of memory. Pieces of information slid into place easily as her interactions with Barry in those first months after his coma and The Flash's activities meshed together.

Things like the freak tornado that destroyed a barn and the fight at Stagg Industries had made the news, but now what truly had happened there made far more sense. She noticed how her father and Barry's activities as The Flash overlapped, with Eddie just dancing around the outside. At least she wasn't the only one left out. Joe was right; Barry had saved him so many times. There was no way Joe wouldn't have found out. He had just happened to be at the barn the first time Barry showed up as The Flash, chasing the same bad guy.

She read about the robbery she and Barry had been present for and kicked herself again for not realizing at the time that it had been Barry who had saved the guard. It now made so much sense that she had found him out by a dumpster. But in her defense, she thought, finding him passed out didn't really lend itself to thinking he was a secret crime fighter. Barry had always had the desire to do more than he could. She wished he'd just told her right then. She had to suppress a giggle as she read Cisco's entry on Barry's glucose levels, and his precise taco intake calculations. She shook her head, remembering her conversation with Barry after a movie one night. "How are you not fat?" "I've been…jogging." It should have made her angry to think that he had stepped away from her as she was on the phone with Eddie to apprehend a man shooting at police from a car, but instead she actually felt a bit happy that he had deemed saving policeman's lives so important, even if he was out with his best friend. Those policemen had families too. Still, it hurt to think she was right there and didn't know. Wasn't allowed to know.

As she read the case about the strange gas attacks she remembered her worry and stress visiting her father in the hospital. Her father who may well be dead if not for Barry's speed and Caitlin's antidote. She made a mental note to thank Caitlin. The thought of her father dead gave her chills. She also got chills realizing that there was now a secret prison under the very building she was in that held dangerous metahumans. She had wondered where they disappeared to, never to return and wreak havoc.

Iris couldn't help but be affected by the case involving Leonard Snart and the cold gun. Not only had he taken a hit meant for her father (again), but also Barry's natural concern for the people around him had been exploited. He had been unable to save the man in the theatre. She knew how he must have felt. She smiled a bit, remembering. Barry had always wanted to help others, even when they were kids.

However, she did find herself quite annoyed that Felicity from Starling City knew more about this than she had. She had really liked Felicity. But the fact that she was in the know far sooner than Iris felt humiliating…and in truth, she was a bit jealous and threatened. Those were new emotions, considering she had been pushing Barry to consider Felicity as girlfriend material. Wow. Her feelings about Barry really had changed. She spent a few minutes pondering that before she went to the next file. She still liked Felicity as much as she did before, but she really didn't want her to have Barry. She hoped Felicity had found love elsewhere. She deserved it. But not Barry. She thought a moment, picturing Felicity and Oliver Queen together at Jitters. They had looked really nice together. It was a thought…she pushed those feelings aside.

The case file on Bette Sans Souci, human bomb, broke her heart. She couldn't imagine being hunted, cut off from everyone she knew. She also couldn't imagine never being able to touch another person again. She felt for Barry, unable to help or save Bette, and then having to run her body away from the city to spare it her detonation. She remembered Barry coming to talk to her that night. He had told her he couldn't help someone, and she had died. She remembered how off he'd seemed. The day before he had also visited her for the first time as The Flash, trying to talk her out of writing about him. Now his reaction to her dedication, saying maybe they shouldn't be around each other for a while, made perfect sense. He had been running. She had sensed a lot of unsaid things that night. He was afraid. Afraid of losing her too, afraid that her blog would draw people to her and put her in danger. The one thing he and Joe had attempted to keep her out of. She laughed, shaking her head a bit. Didn't they know her at all? She didn't know how not to put herself there, not if she was doing something worth it. She folded up the file on Bette and placed it gently on the stack of read files, bidding goodbye to a woman who deserved so much more. She felt the deep desire to help people like Bette out there. Somehow. She also took note of Barry's newfound skills of running up buildings and on water. That had been the first night she'd laid eyes on The Flash. She blushed a bit when she remembered that he must have smiled at her, as she'd thought. She squashed those memories for now and then moved on.

Tony's file was next. Iris couldn't believe how many broken bones and injuries Barry had sustained just in that one case. Part of her was almost glad she and Barry hadn't been talking at that point. She might have really put herself in danger if she had known any of this. She would have hunted Tony down herself. She'd seen Barry take too much abuse at Tony's hands in their school days. And still, his focus had been on her. Still, he had come when she messaged him, and run straight out to handle any perceived threat to her. She smiled fondly before she remembered she was angry. Her Barry, always so protective. She was now really glad she'd had the chance to deck Tony. Too bad she couldn't do it again. Wait, maybe she could. It looked like Tony was locked up downstairs. Good.

The next file was marked "Blackout". She frowned, unable to think of much she'd heard about that could apply to that title. Except for maybe the citywide blackout that had inadvertently helped The Clock King. She looked at the date. It was the same as the day she and her father had been taken hostage, and Eddie had been shot. Sudden distress filled her, even though she knew this case must be over and done with. She almost hesitated to open it. She was sure that anything that prevented Barry from coming to help, especially with her and her father in the mix, had to be very bad indeed. Finally she opened the folder.

The story unfolded itself. Barry had lost his powers? She read on, very disturbed. She remembered seeing him that night before everything had happened. She had been sure The Flash could protect Central City. And Barry's reply... "What if he can't? What if he's gone…Or maybe he's just done, or maybe it's like, whatever he could do before, he can't do anymore."

Righteous anger about being lied to started to be replaced by deep sympathy and sadness. No wonder Barry had looked the way he had that night. As angry as she was about his keeping it a secret, she had never wished for his powers to go away. They just seemed to amplify who Barry already was. He must have been devastated. She read on. And it got worse.

Trapped in S.T.A.R. Labs, powerless, and desperate to get to her and Joe. She blinked away tears. He had said it couldn't be helped, but that was such an understatement. As she read, she dimly registered slight shocks through the distress. Tony was dead? Barry had allowed himself to be electrocuted to regain his powers? And of course, she thought to herself, he would try to talk to this guy first. Of course he would. She'd expect nothing less from her best friend. She took note of the courage all present had displayed, especially Caitlin for turning on the power, much as she was afraid to, and Dr. Wells, offering himself up to save the others. By the time she read about Barry's final confrontation with this metahuman, and how he had immediately left to come to her and Joe, she felt guilty that she had ever been disappointed in The Flash not arriving that night. Of course, he had shown up after at the hospital, to apologize. She hadn't really been that upset, she had handled the problem. But now she remembered how upset he'd seemed, promising to never be late again. "You're worth being on time for." She put the file down and sat back in her chair. "Barry, " She sighed in frustration. "How am I supposed to stay mad at you?" She was mad. She had a right to be mad. But seeing his side of events was making that so much harder.

The next file she knew quite a bit about already. She took in the blow-by-blow account of the fight between The Flash and The Arrow. That must have been quite a sight. Barry had been right, he could have killed The Arrow when he'd yanked the grappling arrow out of the building and let him fall. What also impressed her were the methods used to cure Barry after he was "whammied", and the tactics and strategy used by The Arrow to contain Barry. That couldn't have been easy. She noticed an interesting fact: Every single reference to The Arrow was listed as just that. Nowhere in the file did it say who The Arrow might actually be. There were also a few other people mentioned, but not by name. Interesting. She wondered if any of them actually did know The Arrow's true identity. She was pretty sure Barry had to, somehow.

The last file in the stack was marked with a date in December. She opened it up and was astounded. Barry had fought with his mother's killer? Now she felt really in the dark. All this had been going on in his life and he hadn't told her. "I guess there are still things you don't know about me." He could have told her right then. All that pain inside him and he'd just held it in. She read on, and became more upset. Especially when she read about the trap set for the killer, and the fact that Eddie and her father had been there. Barry had showed up later, thank goodness, or she may have been without a father and a boyfriend. Or a best friend for that matter…she had to read twice the lines that described the burning man's appearance. The burning man! She'd been looking for references to him for a bit now too. Right around that time was when Barry had confessed his feelings for her and thrown her into a tailspin. But his whole life had also been turned on its head. His words came back to her: "I just couldn't lie to you anymore."

But he had lied. He'd still been lying. She fought back angry tears as she thought about the night before. He might have wanted to keep her safe, but ultimately that wasn't his call to make.

Iris put the file away and sat back in her chair. December seemed so long ago now. After that, The Arrow had been reported dead, and Barry had sunk into his grief. She had researched his story and talked him into meeting with her each week. And things had gone out of control from there. She couldn't believe so much had happened in such a short space of time. It felt like forever ago that they had had their first scheduled meeting on the rooftop; his chair in the corner, her so excited to get any kind of answers to personal questions.

But she wasn't so excited now. Remembering his words made everything difficult. "I'm afraid she would hate me."

Did she hate him? She found it unlikely. But she was truly angry. And truly hurt. That just didn't go away immediately. She thought about them, in the alley while he was unconscious. She wondered if it would have been better or worse if she'd just peeked under his mask right then.

Remembering the night he was attacked, getting him to S.T.A.R. Labs and dealing with Cisco and Caitlin, who knew so much more than they let on, made her feel foolish and embarrassed. And from there she went straight to anger. She swallowed and hit the table. She was just going in endless circles. Maybe she always would.

She sat in the storeroom and wondered if anything could be salvaged.