Disclaimer: Ratchet and Clank and all related characters, locations, and concepts belong to Insomniac Games. All other ideas and characters are my own. I am not a lawyer.

Author's Note:

Wow, okay, I realize that I haven't updated anything in ages. Let it suffice to say that I've had annoying medical stuff going on that has made me less productive in all areas of existence. Anyway, at long last, here's another chapter of Fragments, which has been around for long enough that I feel obligated to mention that I thought of the title of this fic back in 2011, long before the Daft Punk song even existed.

Hopefully, I haven't completely forgotten how this whole "writing" thing works. This chapter uses the prompt in a less literal sense, because in my spare time, I like to think I'm clever, or something.

Chapter Summary: Why won't Qwark and Nefarious stop arguing? It's really starting to get on Ratchet's nerves.

9. Drive

Qwark and Nefarious' bickering was driving Ratchet crazy.

Ever since they'd been forced to work together, the president and the villain had made a point to argue whenever possible. Or that's how it seemed, at least. They disagreed on everything. On the rare occasion that they found themselves in agreement, one of them would suddenly and inexplicably change his mind. They were the exact opposite of cooperative; determined to sabotage each other at every turn.

Ratchet wondered how much of it was actual arguing and how much was disagreeing because they were supposed to be sworn enemies, but he thought it better not to ask. Still, there were times when it really got on his nerves.

Qwark and Nefarious led the way through the forest, arguing all the while. Ratchet didn't know what the latest point of disagreement was, but he didn't want to find out. He hung back so that he didn't have to hear the details.

Until now, Clank had been following closely behind the duo, trying to mediate. It seemed that he'd failed to make any difference, since he now lingered to match his pace with Ratchet's.

"Anything I need to know about?" Ratchet asked, disgruntled.

"Nothing of major importance, no."

Ratchet was grateful that Clank didn't share the details.

"You ever wonder if maybe we'd be better off ditching them?"

Ratchet raised his hands in resignation at Clank's glare. "Kidding, kidding."

Clank narrowed his optics in response. It didn't take a robot as advanced as him to tell that the Lombax was bluffing.

"Okay," Ratchet said, "but seriously, do those two not bug you at all?"

Clank contemplated the question for a moment before answering.

"Their constant arguing grows tedious, I suppose. But I have come to realize that it is simply a defence mechanism."

"Defence mechanism?"

"Qwark and Nefarious see themselves as enemies, and they are unable to believe that they could be anything but that. However, our current circumstances have forced them to interact in a less-than-unfriendly manner. This is only natural, since each of them can see that cooperation is necessary for his own survival, but the cost of that is the survival of his nemesis.

"Of course, Nefarious is not fond of the two of us, but his grudge against Qwark has been going on since they were both in high school. Regardless, since circumstances are forcing them to be almost civil to each other, they believe they must compensate by behaving in an excessively hostile manner towards each other. Hence the constant bickering."

"Makes sense, I guess. Still, that doesn't give us much hope of seeing this stop, does it."

"Some consolation is the fact that so long as we are being attacked, they cannot find the time to do anything other than throw the occasional insult."

"I guess. I'm just glad I'm not stuck alone with them right now."

I'm glad you decided to stick around.

"As am I."