Chapter 26: The Quibbler
"Mattie, look at this." America ordered as he sat a magazine called the Quibbler in front of his brother. "Harry revealed what happened the night that Cedric Diggory died. In my experience, this can change the outcome of the war to come."
"Oui. You're right." Canada agreed. "Umbridge will be mad."
"Try, Umbitch will be completely and utterly pissed." Alfred corrected absentmindedly before flipping through the rest of his mail. "Hey Mattie, Henry says hi and that his maple syrup is better. Pretty much the same old, same old. Oh, hey look, it's a letter from Tony."
He showed the Canadian a letter with words like "fucking," "bitch," and "bastard written over and over. Matthew rolled his eyes at the alien's choice words. Despite the fact he could speak fluent English, America's alien friend insisted on using cuss words and America and New Mexico were the only ones who could understand him.
"I can't read that. All I see is swear words, though with Umbridge going through mail, maybe it's not a bad thing, eh." Canada huffed in annoyance.
"It just says José's playing with nukes again." America told him nonchalantly.
"You don't seem too concerned, Al." Matthew pointed out.
"What's the worse he can do? It's not like he has access to anything major. It's just small ones he sets off in the middle of nowhere. As long as they're not aimed anywhere and he doesn't get caught by authorities, it's fine." Alfred said. He glanced at Germany, who wore a bewildered expression. "What? I'm use to this kind of insanity by now. I have to deal with devil summoning, fruit wars, a maple syrup war, the Toledo War, extreme sports rivalries, and more, so José playing with nukes is not that big of a deal."
He picked up the Quibbler and flipped through it as if nothing happened. Somewhere farther up the table, Umbridge could be heard growling about Harry's interview. Italy translated Japan's letter for Germany since he was better at Japanese than the German. The three main Axis made an effort to learn each other's languages. Germany learned Italian easily, Japan picked up both, and Japanese stuck better with Italy.
Canada fed Kumajirou and America continued reading, ignoring everyone else. Suddenly, he started laughing. The other three nations looked at him with curiosity. He put the Quibbler in the middle of the table and pointed at an article. "Look at this."
"National Heritage: Are There Actually Nations Among Us? It has been rumored that there are beings that look like us that roam the world. They are said to represent a country and act like the stereotype of the country they represent. Though there have been several recorded instances of encounter these beings that go back as far as the first recorded events, their existence is unconfirmed by government officials. Evidence is in our history books. The History of Vampires mentions a man from Romania with blood red eyes, light brown hair, and one fang unlike any vampire ever seen that did some of the dirty work for the infamous Vlad the Impaler several times. It also says that this boy acted like acted like a stereotypical Romanian. Another historical book called The Magic of Ancient Germans mentions a young boy with sliver hair and blood red eyes form the Teutonic Knights that never aged. This boy walked around with a yellow bird on his head, did mercenary work, waged war, and would repeatedly proclaim his 'awesomeness.' A similar man is mentioned shortly after the Teutonic Knights became the Kingdom of Prussia. In the most recent account, an American visiting France claims to have met a man who acted 'exactly like you'd think a French man would.' She also said he hinted that she was the reincarnation of Joan of Arc and talked as if he knew her. There have been several more accounts in America, Australia, Egypt, Spain, Russia, China, Italy, and almost every other country in the world. Could it be these are actually nations or just coincidences? Both Muggle and magical authorities refuse to comment at this time."
"I so have to show Iggy this." America said. "Laughter aside, this can spell trouble. We'll have to bring this up at the next meeting."
He got up an ran to the head table. He didn't give England any warning and just slapped it down on the table in front of the older nation. Arthur swore at Alfred before the American inturrupted him and frantically pointed to the article the others just read. Russia curiously looked at it, figuring if it got the American so wound up, then it must be important. England read it and grew paler and paler with each word. He quickly finished his breakfast and took off for his office, America following close behind.
"What are we gonna do, Iggy?" America asked. "It isn't good if but jobs have figured us out. We already have literally everyone in this building suspicious and if they see this, then the secret's been shot to hell. Can't we magic this away?"
England looked up from his pacing. "That's bloody brilliant. Your mindless, nervous ranting has actually produced a good idea for once. I will hang on to this copy, but I'll erase every other trace of it."
"Why keep a copy?" Alfred asked.
Arthur sighed in annoyance. "Because git, we need to show the others so they act more subtle."
He pulled out his star tipped wand, which normally would've been cause for laughter, but America really didn't want to anger his older brother right now. Actually, he was nervous about his former caretaker's magic. England didn't have the best track record when it came to magic. He heard rumors that it was so powerful that England had a hard time controlling it.
"Maybe I should do that." Alfred offered as he pulled out his wand. "It might be good practice since I'm still iffy when it comes to spell casting. Just tell me what to do."
"I suppose you're right, but this spell's tricky." Arthur informed him. "It's best if a more experienced magic user does it. Though they will eventually return because of my nature, I really don't feel like losing my memories. And the only reason your spell casting is 'iffy' is because after over three centuries of repressing your magic and listing to what your bloody colonists told you, you're still not confident."
England put his wand to the magazine and muttered something that America couldn't make out. A smile spread across his face and he put his wand away. The Englishman his the copy of the Quibbler and started to get his lesson plans ready. America grabbed paperwork before England could shut the drawer and sat on the staircase that lead to Arthur's and Ivan's rooms.
Defense Against the Dark Arts was buzzing about Harry's interview. Canada sighed as he came in after dropping off America's books in History of Magic, since that's where he spent DADA. The Canadian figured he'd be nice since his brother was helping England take care of that problem with the Quibbler. Luckily, no one had noticed the nation article. Harry's interview was much more interesting than the historical article that mentioned ancient Germans, even though Prussia would detest that because the article mentions him specifically.
Italy and Germany were the only ones not talking about it. Instead, Italy was chattering about how cute Moldova is. Canada laughed internally, because America shared the same thoughts. His brother had taken in Moldova, Belarus, Ukraine, and the other Soviet Republics in after the Soviet Union split up.
"Talk to Al about that. He adopted some of Ivan's siblings as his own after the Cold War ended, eh." Canada whispered to the Italian. "He helped make sure their countries got off on the right start so they didn't fall in to economic problems and resort to desperate measures. I think the only two reasons he pushed them away is so they didn't become too dependent and Natalya started stalking him."
"Ve~ I thought she only did that to Ivan." Feli stated.
"Non. She does that to anyone she considers a big brother figure, eh." Matthew replied.
"It's veird. No one has mentioned that article." Germany whispered. "Surely someone has seen it by now."
"I think Arthur and Alfred took care of it." the Canadian told him. "I'll ask Al later, but I think the plan's not to mention it and keep an eye out for now, eh.
"Vell then, ve best keep our mouths shut." Ludwig agreed. He turned to Italy. "Did you get that, Feli? Keep your mouth shut about this morning."
Italy gave a naïve smile. "Ve~ what are you talking about Doitsu? I was just translating Kiku's letter for you."
Italy pulled out a book as Umbridge walked in and wrote their assignment on the board. Canada internally groaned and wished he was smart like Italyand already completed this assignment so he could just do anything but what the toad was making them do. Umbridge came over and Feliciano handed her the completed work without looking up. Germany rolled his eyes.
"If only he was that dedicated to training." Ludwig thought to himself.
Here's the update. Until school either ends or I finish this, I'll be updating once a week. I don't think I'll be doing the next book. This was kind of a trial to see what I could do. I might start at the beginning of the Harry Potter series, incorporating the nations in a different way and with less chaos. It also will have nothing to do with this one. I just thought I'd say something ahead of time. Anyway, thank you to my reviewers and followers. If you see any mistakes, please tell me. Also, if you like hurt/comfort, check out littelmeg's story A Broken Smile and Shattered Soul. It's good. I've read the entire thing since that was my birthday gift. If you see any mistakes, please tell me. I don't own Hetalia or Harry Potter.