"Making A

Big Life

Change Is

Pretty

Scary But,

Do you wanna

Know what's

Scarier?

Regret."

~Unknown

I went outside with an umbrella. I have to enroll to a high school for 1 year and a half. I already have a scholarship- I'd just need to finish high school and I'd get to go to any college I desired.

Away from Carter.

*4 minutes prior*

I kissed Logan on his lips as I greeted him with a good morning and a warm hug. His smile made my heart flutter as I sat down to eat some french toast. I hear Carter enter the room with an exhausted expression on his face as he sat right next to me at the table. I hesitate.

I grab an umbrella and run into the bathroom. I put on uggs, ripped jeans with lace tights under and a black peacoat. Then I ran out with the umbrella.

Present*

I cringe annoyed at everything. I'd have to live with him for who knows how long. I started walking a little faster.

I turned the corner as I reached the MTA bus stop. I sat waiting patiently as I took out the metro card from my Chanel bag and I sat down quietly.

As the bus came, I hurry impatiently for me to get inside because the chilly weather was bothering me. As I sat down I see a bus full of people. My anxiety slowly starts to reach up to my head and it gets so intense that I reach in my bag to pull out my headphones and blast music as I seat myself in the back. On my left there's a couple holding hands, an elderly lady on the phone with her grand-daughter and a man sleeping blasting rap music. On my left I see an adolescence girl who looked about 16 years old on her phone updating what seemed like a story chapter, a boy staring at her and another guy who looked about my age reading a book.

I look down at my outfit thinking yet again about my parents. I wondered if they were okay that I was gone. If they were even alive.. I looked back at the boy. Andy? I tap the boy reading a book and he looks at me weirdly then his face turns pale.

"What are you doing here?" he showed a face of concern.

"Did mom and dad ever tell you about why I left even though their interpretation was so off" I asked. He shook his head in confusion.

First I hug him as tears form in my eyes and his does too.

"There was this guy stalking me and he killed our sister and then when I went to explain to mom and dad they'd thought it was me who did it and sent me away." I explain sobbing.

"Mother and father never believed me when I told them that I felt like someone was watching me when you had left. They told me that you ran away" Andy adds to what I had explained.

"Come with me I escaped the place they put me in and I'm living in an apartment not too far. First I have to enroll to this highschool called Adamsdorth. You go there?" I ask. He nods wiping his tears as he fully closed his book. I smile with such agony that my mouth twitches and we just stay hugging as we wait for our stop.

When our stop has come we both get out the bus and head toward the school. He explains how he was there to go help a teacher for extra credit, even though he was a straight A student, he wanted to make sure it stood that way by being on top of everything. As we get in the school Ii pull out papers,social security, recent grades, my birth certificate and ID. As I fill out a form, a group of girls come toward me as they head out from a class.

They were all wearing black but they're faces looked like dolls. Perfect. One comes toward me and sits down.

"New girl right?" she says her voice like honey and spice.

"soon to be" I say slickly as I softly put another layer of vamp-colored lipstick.

"Midnight there's a bon-fire come" she says smiling.

"maybe I will, can I bring a friend?" I smirk.

"we'll see" she says turning away with her friends. I smile as I hand the desk women the clipboard of the file I had filled out just now.

"Those girls are like bruja, witches- watch out new girl. ten cuidado" I nod nervously. Thank God for those spanish classes in my old school or I would've been so cryptic as to watch she was saying.

"ser gracias pierda" I reply as she snaps a picture of my ID.

"The guidance councilor will meet with you at 10 am tomorrow for your schedule goodday" She smiles. I nod as I pull out my planner and write down the scheduled appointment as I leave. I see Andy and another teacher hold hands as they walk to the class room.

The teacher was quite handsome..he was a dude.

"Andy? holding hands with a dude- a TEACHER?' I whisper to myself.

I didn't want to get into anything so I kept walking until I heard a scream. I ran toward the class room as Logan appeared next to me.

"I felt something was wrong."Logan smiled as we ran holding eachother's hands.

As we got to the scene I see Andy on top of a chair as there's 6 different snakes all on the ground. Broken cages on the floor. The teacher tries to pick them up but they hiss. Me and Logan don't know what to do.. Carter appears and uses his mind control as the snakes follow him to the now fixed cages.

The snakes crawl in and they fall asleep instantly. Then in a matter of seconds he's gone. The window flung open with the wind blowing through my hair. Logan smiles.

"My brother is up to something" Logan says laughing as he kisses me and leaves.

I say by to my brother as a growing pain in my heart grows. As I walk to the bus stop .. the feeling of Carter's lips come back into my vision. The memory making my hear skip it's beats. I fell a strong feeling of confusion and anxiety as I still felt his lips were on mine even though I was now at a bus stop alone...The memories exaggerated in my mind as the bus had arrived.

As I got on the bus and as I got home Logan left a note saying he had wanted to arrange a funeral for his mom upstate and that he'd be gone for a week. My stomach did flip flops as I heard Carter humming in the distance. I turned around to see him with only black sweats on and a cross on his neck as he was walking toward the kitchen. Our eyes met for the longest...it felt like his icy blue eyes were piercing mine as our eyes locked. I went to go toward him but then backed up. In the split of seconds.. he's right infront of me.. Our gaze still strong..

I tugged his neck as our lips met once again and the desperate feeling for our lips to continuing to go on came over me and my scared feelings vanished. As though our lips fitted perfect together. I ran a hand toward his chest and held his cross. The irony.. the guy once took part in a family cult. Then the image of Logan flooded through me and I let go of the kiss. I watched his eyes open to reveal his blue icy and dark ...their eyes...but it felt like a magnet for staring. We stared at eachother realizing how passionate that felt cause his expression matched mine. However, this time he picked me up and we kissed again.. I held his face as the kiss continued..an icy and dark feeling just like his eyes- filled my soul like some sort of powerful drug. I was the addict and he was the drug..

This addiction so wrong...but it felt so right...He held me closer as the kiss kept getting more passionate...nothing I had ever felt before...it felt like a dream that I wish I could never wake up from but then again I would wanna wake up from it because I rather have dreams about this secretly then to feel the guilt yet pleasure of kissing him in real life..

His muscular arms holding me closer. Closer then closer. Then we both slowly let go.. our eyes slowly opening at the same moment...He gave off a side smile that made me smile. Then, both our expressions changed as we realized what came over us, this was wrong. His brother/my boyfriend. We couldn't do this.. why did he leave for a week...This would've never happened... but why hadn't I stopped him.. and most importantly..why didn't I regret it one single bit yet I did regret it just the same?

I we both left eachother as we both took heavy breaths of exhaustion. I went up to my room and locked the door as I took off my clothes to go change. As I took off my shirt , I stared at myself.. All of a sudden he appeared.. I stood quiet and still as if I were paralyzed. He came toward me and his lips touched mine again... then I let go..

"I-I-I can't do this.." I whispered to him as I ran with my exchange of clothes to the bathroom...feeling like crap for what I had done..yet also because I let go of the kiss...

As I got to the bathroom I gripped at my hair in anger and frustration. I must be going crazy.. I felt crazy.