Chapter 16

Author's Note: Hey all :) Sorry I haven't been updating on a daily basis! I was hanging out with my friend and taking a bit of a break. I also want to linger a bit more on the quality of the future chapters since we're past the halfway point of the story :) So expect a new chapter every 2-3 days. I'm glad you guys are enjoying this story as much as I enjoy writing it! On an unrelated note, I just re-watched 'It's a Jersey Thing', and once again the Kyman feels attacked me. I might reference it soon ;) This chapter is dedicated to Ari for the small reference I added in about Stan's "really gay" hybrid car song.

SLIGHT LEMON WARNING. DON'T GET EXCITED FOR IT. IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK. BUT DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU.

Sorry in advance…

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**Kyle's P.O.V.**

The sun was high in the sky as I left the school building and headed over to the football field. I glanced down at my phone and noticed that it was a little after 3:00. I told Stan and Kenny that I needed to get to practice as fast as I possibly could since I was already late.

"We'll pick you up by like… 5:30." Kenny muttered as we all turned the corner. I gave him a sad smile and felt Stan pat me behind the back. I was starting to feel shaky and nervous. A desire burned in my chest to find something sharp…

I wonder if my shard is still on the ground in the bathroom…

The way it entered my flesh when I felt this way… Moses, my body was craving for it again. I just had to remind myself to breathe through this and concentrate on reality.

"Go blow off some steam. Tackle some freshmen or something." Stan said, snapping me out of my daydream. I chuckled a bit as they walked me to the gate.

"Thanks guys. I don't know what I would do without you." I replied and made my way across the field where everyone was running drills. The coach locked eyes with me and walked over.

"Kyle! I thought you'd never show up. Why the hell are you late?" he asked in concern. I rubbed my arm nervously.

"I got into trouble." I admitted. He cocked his head to the side.

"…Is Clyde also in trouble then? Because he's the only other person absent and you both go to the same school."

"S-Something like that, sir."

"Well whatever. I don't want you to be late ever again, you got that? Get changed and get on these drills!" he ordered.

The next two hours were pure bliss. All of the anger I felt deep inside was able to come out in a really productive way. Coach said he never saw me so into the game before. I couldn't help but feel a bit proud of myself as I ran across the field. Sweat leaked from my face and my muscles ached in just the right way. Practicing three times a week might just get me through the next month or so.

SLAM!

I fell to the ground with a huge weight on top of me, the football falling out of my hands. I cried out, the hit literally knocking the breath out of me. My shoulder was throbbing slightly.

"Nice try, Broflovski…" Marcus's breath was at my ear as he held me down. "But no one can escape my tackles."

Marcus was a twelfth grader with an enormous build and an ego to match. He easily had to be the buffest kid in school, not to mention all the girls who constantly pined after him. He knew about it and although he seemed to ignore them, it definitely didn't go unnoticed. He was a seriously full of himself, stubborn, wall of muscle.

Not to mention he had the strongest throwing arm I'd ever seen.

"Sh-Shut up and get off of me!" I muttered as I struggled to push him off of me. I couldn't help but blush as I felt his pelvis bone press into my thigh as someone else laughed.

"You need to build up some strength, Broflovski." Tyler snickered. "Marcus isn't that heavy."

"Bullshit!" I growled and used all my energy to slide out from under Marcus. I managed to get to my feet and walk right into Tyler who was much closer than I thought he was. I stumbled back at the contact and muttered "Sorry…"

Tyler was the fastest guy on the team by far. He was another twelfth grader and extremely skinny, but made up for that with his undeniable speed. But everyone knew how incredibly slimy he could be and he wasn't very popular because of that. But that never seemed to stop Marcus from hanging out with him.

Tyler shot a devilish grin my way and walked closer which caused me to back up right into Marcus. I felt my face burn and shoved both of them away in irritation.

"Stop it! You guys always mess with me and it's getting annoying!" I snapped, keeping my distance. Tyler leaned his elbow on Marcus's shoulder as the two snickered at me.

"But you're so much fun to annoy." Marcus replied.

"Yeah you're so puny." Tyler added. I rolled my eyes.

The coach blew his whistle, which meant it was the end of practice. I removed my helmet only to be greeted with my ridiculous matted and sweaty head of hair. I groaned trying to push it off my face as the two jocks walked towards the locker room, all the while making fun of my hair loud enough for me to hear them. I always hated my hair and for good reason. It was so difficult to tame. I tried to run my fingers through it which only covered my hands in my own sweat. I wrinkled up my nose in disgust.

Gross.

I headed into the locker room and stripped out of my drenched gym clothes. I was in serious need of a shower. Peeking around the corner, I had to make sure that the showers weren't being used. I could hear the loud voiced in the other room. The team was always loud after a practice.

At least they're not in here.

I was never very comfortable with showering around others. Scrubbing your dirty body next to another person? That is just plain creepy. I headed over to the showers and turned one of them on, ducking my head under the hot water. I let out a content sigh as the hot water eased the tension in my aching muscles and the room filled with steam. After scrubbing my hair clean and washing my body, I closed my eyes and visualized myself surrounded by a warm red aura. Its heat enveloping me, I couldn't help but feel like I was being hugged. So comforting…

I was so distracted that I hadn't noticed how quiet the locker room had become. I almost forgot where I was until I heard two other showers being turned on next to me.

What the…?

I opened my eyes, only to find myself practically sandwiched between a very naked Marcus and Tyler. I yelped in embarrassment, covering my junk and ducking out from under the comforting water.

"Guys, what the fuck?!" I squeaked. They laughed loudly, watching me with amusement in their eyes.

"Relax Broflovski." Marcus chuckled, running his hands through his hair as the shower poured on him.

"You're not the only guy who likes to shower in here you know." Tyler added with a sly smirk on his face. I looked down only to realize that two naked guys were in front of me, which caused me to snap my head up again in an attempt to avoid seeing their dicks. I gulped as suds dripped from my hair down my face.

"There are showers everywhere! Why did you have to pick the ones that were right next to me?!" I demanded.

"Really? There are? I don't see any…" Tyler murmured. I rolled my eyes again and pointed across the room.

"Right there you idi-… Gah!" I realized I had exposed myself and covered my junk again. They laughed as I scowled. "Very funny!"

"Don't be embarrassed Broflovski." Marcus said with a friendly smile as he scrubbed his chest. "We're all guys. We all have cocks."

"Besides," Tyler added. "We saw you showering when we walked over here anyway."

My face should have fallen off, it was burning so badly.

"You still have soap in your fucking hair." Marcus snickered at me, turning away to rinse off.

"Yeah you look really stupid, Kyle." Tyler chimed in and turned to the side to scrub his neck.

I bit the inside of my cheek. Not wanting to come off as weird, I went back to where I was between them and put my head under the water. I tried to rinse out my hair as quickly as I could, keeping my eyes shut. I felt something start to scrub my back and nearly jumped out of my skin. Marcus frowned as I shoved his hand away.

"What the hell are you doing?!" I exclaimed.

"I was getting your back for you. It's hard to reach. Tyler scrubs mine all the time." He replied calmly.

"I can scrub my own back Marcus!" I snapped trying to walk away, but Tyler grabbed my shoulder and pushed me against the tile wall.

"Don't act like you don't like it." He chuckled, his hand not leaving my shoulder. His eyes burned into mine with interest.

"W…What…?" I asked, barely able to breathe. I was more afraid than I'd been that entire week. Marcus smirked and leaned forward, his lips touching my neck. I shuddered, too afraid to speak.

"We heard you swing for the same team." Tyler smiled, letting his hand trail up and down my chest as the water poured down my back.

"I… N-no…" I whispered. I felt Marcus's lips at my ear and trembled.

"That's right, Broflovski…" he purred, his tongue brushing against my earlobe. I whimpered and struggled to move away. "Have some fun with us. It gets lonely in here when it's just me and Tyler."

"J-Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I'm interested in e-either of you!" I managed to say. Tyler pouted.

"Aw… you're not interested in us?" he asked, his hand getting dangerously low. I shook my head violently, but he pushed me back against the wall. I gasped in shock as he shamelessly grasped my boner and stroked slightly. "Then why are you so hard?"

They're going to rape me.

"G-Get OFF!" I yelled and shoved them off of me. Tyler slipped in the water and fell on his side, cursing under his breath. Just as I was about to grab my clothes and run, Marcus grabbed my arm. I looked back at him and stopped breathing. The look he was giving me was terrifying, and his grip was getting painful.

"Are you sure you don't want to have some fun with us?" he asked in a low tone. "You might not like what happens if you don't."

"Anything is better than getting raped in a locker room Marcus!" I snapped back at him.

"It's only rape if you don't like it!" Tyler exclaimed walking over while holding his side. "And you were clearly enjoying yourself."

"No I wasn't! This is not fun, it's sick!" I spat at them. "If I don't want to hook up with one of you, then why the hell would I want to have a threesome?!"

Marcus let go of me.

"Fine." He said. "But don't say I didn't warn you, emo."

I looked at my arm for a moment, realizing that he noticed my cuts. I was just shocked that he actually let me go. They both watched me as I grabbed my clothes and changed in the corner. I felt their eyes burning into me as I wrapped my arms with fresh gauze. I'd rather be watched while I got dressed than raped. The second I was decent, I shoved my hat over my wet hair and fled the room. Once the fresh air hit me, my heart was able to slow down a bit. I could see Stan and Kenny waving to me from the other side of the gate. I bit my lip and took a deep breath.

They don't need to know.

I quickly walked across the field and slung my bag over my shoulder. Marcus's threat lingered in my mind.

'Are you sure you don't want to have some fun with us? You might not like what happens if you don't…'

"What's wrong, Kyle?" Kenny asked, pulling down his hood.

Damn it…

"Nothing. Practice just really tired me out." I replied, my voice extremely shaky. Kenny's eyebrow was raised.

"You're really pale." Stan added pointing at my bag. "Is that heavy dude? I can carry it for you."

"No no I got it… I just have to put on my jacket and-"

"Accept our help, Kyle." Kenny said and grabbed my bag handing it to Stan. "Tell us what happened. Something happened."

"I…" I began, racking my brain for an answer. Then it hit me as I started to pull on my jacket, my eyes fixating on my arms. "Uh I was just really nervous because I figured you guys would still want to know about my arms."

"…oh. Okay." Kenny replied as we all began to walk. He seemed satisfied with my answer. But now I had to tell them about cutting.

Shit…

"Did you burn yourself or something?" Stan guessed.

"…Or something." I sighed, staring at the ground.

"Well? Spit it out dude." Kenny added. "And tell the truth."

"You're not going to like the truth." I replied. They both looked at each other, concern dancing in their eyes.

"Well it can't be that bad… right?" Stan asked.

"You tell me dude." I said and looked over at them. "…I've been cutting myself. A lot."

There was a long pause. Stan stopped walking and looked at me like I just died in front of him. I can't say I was surprised. He always thought of me as extremely pure. I figured it would be a shock.

"…Dude." He said sadly. Kenny stopped walking after Stan did and looked over at me with slight surprise, but nothing more.

"Ohhhhhhhhh, that's what he meant." He muttered. I raised an eyebrow and he saw me looking at him. "Oh sorry I mean… What?! NO WAY!"

I scowled.

"You knew?" I asked. Only one person could have told him. My fist clenched tightly. "God damn it…"

"No no no. No one told me Kyle. I just kind of guessed. It's not hard to figure out when you really think about everything you've been going through with the divorce and all." Kenny replied.

"Bullshit. What did Cartman tell you?!" I snarled, my temper rising. Stan looked confused. "Did he tell you about the cutting?!"

"Wait wait wait what the hell does Cartman have to do with any of this? You told Cartman that you've been cutting yourself but you didn't tell me?" Stan exclaimed dropping my bag.

"No! He walked in on me doing it Stan!" I exclaimed, too angry to look at anyone but Kenny who had his hands up in surrender. "But I bet KENNY knows all about that! Because that fatass probably TOLD HIM!"

"Kyle calm down! Cartman didn't tell me anything!" Kenny replied.

"Oh yeah right!" I rolled my eyes feeling my face heat up. "That means you know about my Mom too!"

"Kyle-"

"How about my drunk Dad?! I bet Cartman told you all about that!"

"Kyle listen to me I REALLY don't know anyth-"

"And that he fucking kissed me! My life is fucking over!" I hid my face and leaned against a gate. Absolute silence stood behind me as I leaned my head into the metal bars. I wanted to decapitate myself. Then I heard Kenny start to laugh.

"Now that I DEFINITELY didn't know. Aha… AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" he fell to the floor, hysterical. I turned around and scowled at him, ignoring the completely frozen Stan.

"What part of this is FUNNY to you?! Cartman betrayed my trust! Not that I'm fucking surprised." I spat. Kenny wiped his eyes and looked up still having a laughing fit.

"D-Dude… haha… AHAHAHA! Ha… h-haha… I haven't seen Cartman since he took his mother hahah-home from the ha-HA-HOSPITAL! He didn't tell me shit! PffffFFHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" he rolled around on the floor. I forgot how to breathe again.

…crap…

I looked over at Stan who was a complete statue. He just stared at me both wide eyed and horrified. I swallowed, but my mouth was dry as hell.

I can't believe I just told them that…

"S-Stan? …Don't freak out." I muttered taking a step towards him. He backed up, blinking rapidly. His lip quivered slightly as he tried to find words. I looked down at Kenny who was still laughing, but seemed to be calming down a bit.

"Ohhhh this is too funny…" he smiled and looked up at me, wiping his eyes once more. He stood up and beamed at me. "So the fatass finally made his move. I'm impressed. I didn't think he would have the balls. Is… kkmmphh… is he a good kisser? HAHAHAHAHA!"

"Shut the fuck up Kenny…" I mumbled. A sound to my left snapped Kenny out of his laughter and almost made me pee my pants.

"DUDE?!" Stan exclaimed, his jaw dropping.

"OW!" I winced rubbing my ear. "Stan that was right in my ea-"

"How the FUCK could you KISS CARTMAN?!" he screamed. Kenny covered his mouth and I looked around, relieved when I saw no one around. Stan shoved Kenny's hand away, his eyes never leaving me.

"Stan shut the hell up! Do you want the hahawhole world to know?" Kenny asked, still trying not to laugh. Stan was not amused. At all.

"I didn't kiss him Stan…" I murmured, tomato red. "He kissed me."

"…I'll kill him." Stan growled and began rapidly walking down the block. I felt my heart sink and ran after him, Kenny close behind after he snatched my bag up off of the floor.

"Stan no!" I begged trying to pull him back. "I kissed him back!"

"He took advantage of you." Stan replied in the same tone. "He took advantage of you and he's going to pay for it."

"No he didn't Stan! I-… I liked it, okay?!"

Stan stopped dead in his tracks, making me smash into him.

"What?" he asked. I swallowed nervously, extremely embarrassed and flustered. I looked down and picked at my fingers trying to think of how to phrase this.

"Stan he… he cares." I finally said. There was a long pause.

"…I care." He said quietly. I looked up at the back of his head.

"I know you care. I know. It's just that… it's different with him. He understands how I feel and… he makes it easier for me. Wh… when he kissed me, I forgot about my shit for a while. It's not something I can really explain, Stan." I stammered.

"But you hate him." Stan replied, still not turning around.

"…Yeah. I know." I agreed, looking at the ground. "…I still do. But not… not in the same way. I… like I said it's really hard to explain, Stan. But… he's changed. A lot from when we were kids."

"I don't believe that." Stan growled turning to look at me. His eyes were hardened and his words were direct. "Are you forgetting everything he's done to you?"

"I…" I trailed off looking away.

"You can't judge a man by his past, Stan." Kenny said. We both looked at him. "Kyle's right. Cartman is changing. He's been changing. I'm surprised you haven't noticed. Besides, I know something that you did that's wayyy gayer than Cartman kissing Kyle."

"Yeah right. What?" Stan scoffed.

"That faggy hybrid car song." Kenny snickered and Stan rolled his eyes in annoyance. Kenny threw my gym clothes at me and we all continued walking down the street towards Cartman's house.

"I don't trust him. And neither should either of you. He's manipulating both of you. I've let him get away with a lot of shit, but I'm not going to let him hurt you Kyle." Stan replied. I shook my head and looked up again.

"Stan… you're wrong. He really does care." I said hopefully.

"Not in the way you think he is. God, he has you so fucking brainwashed. We all know he's been obsessed with you since the second grade! First he wanted to piss you off and then he wanted to kill you! How many times has he tried to kill you?!" Stan snapped, shaking me by the shoulders.

"But he didn't." Kenny muttered, as if in deep thought.

"Stan he also saved my life!" I snapped, pushing him off.

"Yeah because he wanted you to suck his balls!" Stan exclaimed.

"But-"

"KYLE. He imagined you SUCKING HIS BALLS IN THE FOURTH GRADE! His obsession is getting really fucking dangerous! Don't fall for all of his manipulative shit! He's taking advantage of you! He gets off on controlling you. On embarrassing you. He's fucking insane!" Stan snarled. I glared at him.

"You don't know what you're talking about." I muttered. "Kenny you think Cartman's changing for the better right?"

Kenny scratched his chin as we were crossing the street and opened his mouth to speak, but a truck came out of nowhere and smashed into him taking him with it. Stan and I watched, our mouths gaping in shock as the truck took off.

"Oh my god! He killed Kenny!" I exclaimed angrily.

"You bastard!" Stan shouted, raising his fist to the air.

"THERE YOU ARE!" I heard behind me. I turned and to my horror, I saw my mom stomping down the block. "KYLE BROFLOVSKI!"

"…oh shit." I whispered, trying to hide behind Stan.

"Oh shit your mom!" Stan exclaimed.

"I KNEW you went to football practice! What did I tell you?!" She screamed, grabbed my arm, and yanked me away from Stan.

"T-to come straight home…"

"That's right! I did! And here you are with your friend! Say goodbye to Stan because you won't be hanging out with him after school ANYMORE!" she snapped, took my phone from my pocket, and flung it into a tree. It snapped in half.

"M-Mom!" I exclaimed in shock. She gripped my arm and yanked me forward violently. I yelped in pain.

"We are going home right NOW young man and you are going to explain to me why you punched someone in the face! LET'S GO!" she screamed and pulled me down the block. I looked back at Stan with tears in my eyes. The last thing I heard him say before we turned the corner was…

"Dude…"