Chapter 21
Author's Note: Sorry for the long awaited update :) I hope this was worth the wait. This story is coming to a conclusion and the excitement literally has my heart pounding as I write. I hope you all feel the same way as you read it! Enjoy my lovely readers…
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**KYLE'S P.O.V**
I stomped my way down the block, heart pounding in my ears as I tried to block out all thoughts. This was proving to be really fucking difficult as I found myself constantly slipping between counting each step I took and repeating Ike's words in my head.
'…But I do…'
God damn it he didn't want to me to leave him there alone!
Football practice.
Now he's probably crying in the waiting room because of me…
Football practice.
GOD DAMN IT! WHO CARES ABOUT FOOTBALL PRACTICE?!
I do.
I closed my eyes tightly as I turned the corner to the school which was just getting out. I put my sleeve over my face in an attempt to hide it, as if that was going to make a difference. One glance at my big green hat and everyone would automatically know it was me.
I bit my lip and walked faster than I had in my entire life, making somewhat of a dash for the football field next to the school. Somehow I managed to avoid everyone and made it to the field. With a relieved sigh I headed straight for the locker rooms, only to be stopped by a warm hand on my shoulder. I turned, surprised to see Clyde right behind me. All of the color drained from my lips and I opened my mouth to speak; only nothing came out.
He blinked a couple of times at me, his eyes holding a slight heat in them and he let go of my shoulders shoving his hands into his pockets. He seemed to want to say something to me, but kept his jaw clenched. I couldn't help but stare at the bandage across his bruised nose and knew that he couldn't help but stare at the obvious gashes on my face. We stayed that way for a while, just staring at each other's wounds and saying nothing.
"…Coach wants to see you before practice." Clyde finally said, breaking the silence. And then he was gone. He made a dash for the locker rooms where the other team mates had been gathering, never looking back at me as if doing so would cause him pain or something. I swallowed, my mouth feeling dry.
Oh well. At least I'd get to see Coach.
I made my way to his office which was just a shed-like building under one of the bleachers. Although it was relatively small, it got the job done well enough. At least that's what Coach told me last December when I had helped him reorganize his filing cabinet.
I knocked twice and let myself in, a hesitant smile plastered on my face. The room was dimly lit and Coach was sitting on his desk, scribbling something on his clipboard. He looked up at me.
"Take a seat, kid." He said quietly and turned away to put his clipboard under the desk. My brow furrowed, extremely confused.
Kid?
Coach had called me a lot of things over the last two years. Kyle, Sport, Half-pint, Freckles, even Son. …But NEVER had he called me Kid. What the fuck was that about? How strange.
I sat down, a bad feeling deep in my gut. I let my bag fall to the side of the chair and cocked my head to the side, watching as Coach looked over at me. His expression was kind of… blank. This, again, was strange because he had never looked at me in such a way.
Was I in trouble?
"I've been informed of an incident in the locker room." Coach finally spoke, folding his hands and placing them on the desk. I blinked a few times, instantly thinking of Clyde. God damn fucking nark!
"I… I can explain that sir. I just lost my temper and I was honest with you before when I was late and you asked me why! I told you I got into a fight a-and I did… with Clyde. He just said some bad things about me in front of the guys and I-"
"What are you talking about?" Coach asked in confusion, effectively cutting me off. I stared back incredulously, my mouth shutting.
"…You aren't talking about Clyde? With what happened a couple of days ago?" I replied, blinking a few times. He sat forward.
"Well of course not. Whatever you're talking about didn't happen during practice or on the field, so I don't really give a rat's ass about that. I'm referring to yesterday in the showers at around seven o clock." Coach explained. My heart sank.
He knew about that?
"I… I can explain Coach. I just didn't come forward with that.. w-with what happened because I… I wanted to forget abou-"
"You're off the team."
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**KENNY'S P.O.V**
"I-I'm not so sure about this fellas…" Butters stammered nervously picking at his dress pants as he sat in the booth next to me at Bennigans. "If my parents find out that I'm helping E-Eric trick a couple of s-seniors, well then they'll ground me."
"Some things are worth getting grounded for Butters." I replied, my hand resting gently on Butter's knee. He looked down at my hand and blushed visibly, but I didn't move my hand away. I smirked at him playfully.
"Kenny's right dude." Stan agreed. "We're all here because we care about Kyle. And those pricks deserve what Cartman's planning… whatever he's planning. …I mean as long as he doesn't go too far."
Stan glared over to Cartman who was looking out the window and checking his phone every so often for text messages from some criminal he hired. All in all it was a really decent plot, Bennigans being my idea and the revenge being his. I made sure we wouldn't get blamed for this.
Hopefully Stan doesn't mess things up with his guilty conscience…
Cartman seems to hear my thoughts and looked over raising his eyebrow, only to turn back to the window in deep thought.
I couldn't help but smile over at Cartman. He was getting so involved in this… and for a good reason. Though, he was taking things a little too far like he usually does with things he really cared about. Usually that entailed getting his own revenge, proving his point and shoving it down everyone's throat when he was sure he was right, or shoving something the fact that he won a bet in Kyle's face.
But this time…
There was no bet. No right or wrong scenario. This had everything to do with Kyle and nothing to do with himself. Cartman was determined to defend Kyle's honor.
And when Cartman was determined to do something, he sure as fuck got it done. I couldn't help but admire the guy.
He spends the majority of his life alone and selfish, never letting anyone in his personal bubble, until Kyle unintentionally shoved his way inside of it. And now there was no going back. Not for Cartman. His bubble was popped. Now that Cartman had let Kyle in, he was determined to keep him there. Even if that meant he'd have to drag him back kicking and screaming. Usually I'd step in and tell Cartman to back off and leave Kyle alone, but…
Dare I say it; Cartman might just be the one person Kyle needs the most right now. This love couldn't be one sided for another second.
Everything was coming full circle, and at this point only two things could happen. One- they surrender to their feelings and end up together, temporarily or otherwise, or Two- both of them would keep going the way they are and end up falling apart.
I really need to stop getting this swept up in my friend's personal lives. Eh. It's not like there's anything more entertaining to do around this stupid town.
"K-Kenny?" Butters mumbled. "W-well your hand's on my knee."
I laughed and looked over to him squeezing slightly and enjoying the ridiculously adorable blush on his face.
"I know." I replied. "And it's staying there."
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**STAN'S P.O.V**
He just kept looking out that stupid window and staring at his stupid phone.
UGH!
"Dude they're either coming or they're not! Just sit down already! You're making me really nervous." I grumbled. Cartman turned his head slightly and shot me an annoyed glare.
"Nervous? What's the matter hippie?" Cartman growled with an evil glint in his eye. "Never planned an assault before?"
I shivered looking into those cold eyes. What the fuck did Kyle see in Cartman? Has he ever even seen this side of him? He'd been like this all day at school. That merciless cold look in his eyes really gave me the fucking creeps. When he was in this kind of mood, I liked to do my best and keep on his good side.
"N-No dude they deserve this…" I mumbled. "I mean, yeah, I'm a little afraid about getting in trouble. There… there could be a better way of doing things though. Like, instead of handing them off to some criminal maybe we could… ugh I don't know. It just seems inhumane. I…I've never done something like this before and-"
"Well I have." Cartman spoke in a crisp tone and he stood up, slowly walking over to me. "I know what I'm doing and I'm proud to be doing it. They're lucky I don't take this a step further for what they did to Kahl. …Don't be such a pussy, Stan."
I cleared my throat nervously as he sat on the table and looked me dead in the eye.
"Dude." Kenny chuckled looking over at Cartman. "Chill."
"Y-Yeah Eric you're kind of f-f-freaking me out…" Butters mumbled. Cartman glanced over at Butters, his eyes softening slightly. I should have shut up. I really should have, but I couldn't help it.
"I… I'm not a pussy." I said. Kenny smacked his forehead as Cartman turned back to me, his eyes burning into mine with amusement. I gulped.
"Is that… so?" He taunted and leaned forward, inches from my face.
"D-dude get away from me." I almost whispered, genuinely freaked out. "W-Why are you looking at me like that?"
"I'm just curious…" Cartman purred, folding his arms. "You think you can handle this like the big boys? That you can be a part of the plotting? I didn't want Kenny to tell you for a reason."
"A-And why is that?" I demanded, getting angry.
"The same reason we didn't let Butters plot with us butthole. You're both big floppy pussies." Cartman sat back, with a condescending glint in his eye. Butters head perked up.
"Oh geez you guys…" he murmured. "I don't think I'm a pussy…"
"Yeaaaahhh… you kind of are." Kenny replied affectionately.
"…oh." Butters replied. I got angry at that.
"Oh come on! I am NOT on the same pussy level as Butters is!" I exclaimed. People looked over at us from the bar stools and I quieted down. "C…Come on Kenny. You don't think I'm a pussy right? …r-right?"
Kenny looked over at me for a moment, in thought, and pursed his lips with a small chuckle.
"I don't know Stan…" he said honestly. "You haven't exactly… seen everything me and Cartman have seen."
"Or done." Cartman finished with a dark look on his face. Kenny nodded his way in acknowledgement.
"Yeah. That too." He agreed. I swallowed in confusion.
"L-like what?" I asked in a quiet voice while looking at the smirking duo of apparently very dastardly deeds. Kenny opened his mouth to answer me, but Cartman cut him off suddenly, right in my face.
"Well for starters… have you ever watched the light leave someone's eyes?" he asked, cocking his head to the side and smiling in a sickening way.
"You mean like watched them die? Y-yeah." I mumbled. Cartman chuckled in a strange way.
"Not like that." Cartman said quietly. "Up close. Inches from their face while you hold them and watch their life slowly fade away as they stare back at you, knowing that you're the reason that they're dying. Knowing that you will be the last thing they see and that the truth will die with them."
I felt a shiver run down my spine, my mouth growing dry.
"I…" I had nothing to say to that. So he continued.
"Maybe you know how it feels to shoot someone at point blank range? The fear looking back at you, silently pleading you for mercy… but you have none for them. And you just blink while you pull the trigger…" Cartman chuckled, obviously remembering when he had done that himself. "After you drain them to the point where there's nothing left for you to exploit… once someone has wronged you and you have the opportunity to get even… and you DO… there's nothing like it. Just ask Scott Tenorman."
"Oh hamburgers not that story!" Butters cried out and covered his ears, ducking into Kenny's jacket.
"D-Dude…" I breathed starting to feel nauseous.
"Trust me." Cartman grinned evilly. "I know how to deal with this shit. You want to know what it's like to saw through a person's flesh? To rip them limb from limb and cook them into food? I would do it again just to see the look on his stupid ginger face one more time. Successful vengeance is like paradise to me. I find it calming. Worth every drop of blood and every scream for mercy."
"Y…you're insane…" I covered my mouth, a sudden shot of pain going right to my stomach and I turned, puking on the floor. Cartman laughed at my reaction as the waitress ran over to clean it up. His eyes were victorious and I glared back at him wiping my mouth and coughing.
I guess I am a pussy… But that's just disgusting…
"I think he's had enough Cartman." Kenny growled, annoyed. "Stop scaring Butters."
Cartman glanced over towards the window and smiled.
"Here they come. Remember the plan. We chat them up, offer them some of my birthday cake, and tell them we have a curfew so they walk out together. Don't forget to tell them how special they are. Really inflate their fucking egos." He rubbed his hands together.
"W-Why would we do that?" Butters asked looking up. Kenny chuckled as I looked at them in a matching confusion.
Kenny and Cartman exchanged dark glances.
"Because," Kenny grinned. "Then it'll be all the more traumatic when we take their futures away from them."
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**KYLE'S P.O.V**
Ba-bump
Ba-bump
Ba-bump
Ba-bump
Ba-bu… … …
"…W…what?" I barely managed to whisper once my heart started back up again. Adrenaline rushed through my veins as I began to panic. He didn't just say what I thought he just said.
No. No. There's no way…
"I said you're off the team. That kind of behavior is simply intolerable on this team." Coach said firmly, his eyes angry.
…Well now it was my turn to get angry. And I was fucking pissed.
"What. Kind. Of. Behavior." I growled through clenched teeth. "I have no idea what you're talking about god damn it!"
"I find that hard to believe." Coach replied blinking a couple of times. "You sexually assaulted two teammates in that locker room yesterday evening after practice."
My heart dropped.
Fucking. Marcus and Tyler.
"No! I didn't!" I exclaimed standing up. "They're lying!"
"Take your seat." Coach said calmly. "I already reported this to your school."
"R-REPORTED?!" I boomed. "REPORTED WHAT?!"
"You're obviously confused about your sexuality, and that's understandable, but that does not give you the right to force others into doing inappropriate things, especially during my practices. Sexual harassment is very serious. You're very lucky that they didn't report you to the police." Coach said. I was at a loss for words. I just blinked at him in shock. "…Well?"
"Coach…" I breathed shaking my head. This couldn't be happening right now. "Coach you've got this all wrong! All of it!"
"Really?" he raised an eyebrow in doubt. "How?"
"UH FIRST OF ALL," I scoffed. "I didn't sexually harass ANYBODY! THEY sexually harassed ME!"
"That's not true." Coach said confidently.
"YES IT IS!" I exclaimed desperately, my face reddening in panic. "W-WHY DON'T YOU BELIEVE ME?!"
"I think you need some serious help, kid." Coach said in pity.
"No I don't!" I slammed my hands on his desk. "Everyone keeps telling me that and they're WRONG! I don't need help! I just need football practice! Marcus and Tyler did this to me because I wouldn't have sex with them!"
"Be quiet!" the coach wrinkled his nose up in disgust. "Don't you dare say that! Marcus would never do that!"
"Marcus is the one who told me he would make me pay for not doing what they wanted me to and now they told you I'M a pervert just to get me off the team! It's ALL A LIE!" I yelled at him.
"If you're really the victim in all of this then why didn't you come to me to report it?! HUH?" Coach yelled back at me. I blinked back tears, lip quivering.
"B-…Because I… I was afraid and I didn't want to… I… I don't know why I didn't I just…" I stammered trying to find words. Coach's eyes hardened stubbornly.
"That's a real coincidence, kid. Really hard to believe." He growled. I felt something sharp and painful in my chest.
"S-Since when do you call me kid? What happened to son?" I whispered, shaking my head and not caring how stupid I sounded. "I thought I was one of your favorite players…"
"Things change." Coach said.
"Why is it so hard to believe that Tyler and Marcus did this to me?! They're bullies Coach!" I exclaimed.
"No they're not. They are respectful and responsible future athletes and students. They would never prey on other boys in a locker room." He said standing up. "Never!"
"AND WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WOULD?!" I boomed, throwing my bag to the side angrily. He seemed taken aback. "THIS IS ALL I HAVE LEFT AND YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE IT AWAY BECAUSE TYLER AND MARCUS HAVE YOU AROUND THEIR FUCKING FINGER! THEY'RE THE PERVERTS! THEY'RE THE ONES TRYING TO-"
"You need to lower your voice! There is NO WAY Marcus would-"
"YES HE WOULD GOD DAMN IT! HE HELD ME AGAINST THAT WALL IN THE SHOWER AND-"
"NO SON OF MINE IS A FUCKING FAG!" Coach shrieked.
My jaw dropped and I was shocked into silence. Coach seemed to compose himself and cleared his throat.
"…Excuse me for that." He mumbled.
"…so that's what this is about…" I whispered backing up. "…you don't care about what happened in that locker room at all."
Coach looked over at me, eyes blank. I backed up and hit the wall, the reality washing over me.
"What are you saying?" Coach asked, his bro furrowing. I shook my head, talking to myself more than to coach.
"…Me even suggesting that your son might be sent you into a rage and yet… you'll still deny it. And he'll get away with whatever he fucking wants because you'll cover for him. You'll believe all his lies. Nothing I say to you will change your mind because the second you found out I might be gay, you lost all respect for me. Even if nothing happened in that locker room… you would still find a way to kick me off this team." I said quietly to myself, my body shaking. "…so… so that's it. Isn't it? That's really it."
"I have no idea what you're talking about ki… Kyle. I really don't." Coach said, his voice softening at the dead tone of my voice. He walked around his desk and stood in front of me. "…Let me get you some help, alright? Maybe when you feel better you can come back to the team. You don't have to feel the way you do about boys. You can feel the same way about girls. I know that Marcus would never do those things, so you can stop lying to me. Marcus told me-"
"I don't care what Marcus told you." I said, looking right into his eyes. A numbness washed over me. "I'm done."
Coach blinked a few times, confused.
"What do you mean?" he asked. I shook my head and looked him right in the eye.
"None of this matters anymore… You have yourself a great night Coach." I said simply and turned walking out of the office.
I walked out of the field as stray rain droplets hit my face and everyone's words echoed throughout my mind.
'WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?!'
'Don't touch me homo.'
'And we're just supposed to trust that you're not thinking about all the disgusting things you could do with us? It's not like you can help it you fucking queer.'
'We heard you swing for the same team… Have some fun with us… We know you like it.'
'Do you think I like hitting you?! This seems to be the only way you learn ANYTHING! Y-you… gay? You could just be confused Bubbe…'
I felt tears prick my eyes and clenched my fists as I walked slowly down the street, ignoring anyone who passed by. They didn't matter to me. Nothing mattered to me. The voices were so loud in my head… I just wanted everyone to be quiet.
I closed my eyes but kept walking as the rain started to pour down.
Silence… Until…
'You can't cure who you are…'
….Cartman was right. There was nothing I could possibly do to cure myself. There was nothing. Nothing.
There was a time when I closed my eyes and I could see my future. I saw myself successful with a loving family behind me and an exciting life. Now all I could see was the back of my own eyelids and all I could hear was the disappointed and angry screams of the ones I loved so much. …Maybe it was time to give back a little.
To do them a favor.
To do the world a favor.
To get rid of the source of their screaming.